Memorial Day I watched three movies.
Stardust came from Netflix and I watched it with my mother. I remember one of these boards, here or Bonr, saying it was a great movie. Was it an okay movie? Was Robert De Niro a crossdressing buttpirate?
Went out to see Shrek 4. Now this is a movie I liked. I was actually happy to see Fiona kicking butt again. I love the fact that the trilogy shows that you don't have to thin or sexy to be a hero or heroine, but in the last two movies Fiona started to become.... domesticated... and stopped kicking lots of ass. As if the movies were saying "It's okay to be an overweight ugly green-skinned woman, so long as you make babies and stay in the fucking kitchen." In this one, Fiona becomes the warrior leader of a group of rebel ogres and kicks ass.
Then we watched OotP on cable and I was reminded that the HP movies have started to fail horribly the latest movies. It's as if the producers and directors were replaced with high school students, because half the time in that entire movie I can't even hear what the actors are saying, the dialog sucks, the camera angles are utter shit. It's like they didn't even try. "Oh well, this movie's going to make millions anyway, it's HP. everyone's going to see it whether it sucks or not, so let's not even try." But I think we've heard this tune before.
Makes me fear for the next movies.
And I finished up and sent back Something Something Something Dark Side after watching the commentary and other bonuses. First off, the commentary kind of sucked, because half the time they went on a tangent and talked about random shit rather than the movie. And there was a table read that showed me what jokes they removed, and some of the original jokes were BETTER. For instance:
-when they were attacking the AT-ATs, one of the rebel pilots was supposed to ask "Why don't we attack them from the rear where they have no guns," and Chris says "ATTACK PATTERN DELTA NOW!" which of course highlights the thought I had every time I watch Empire, is "why do they attack the AT-ATs head on?", which the answer is: "because Lucas touches himself at night."
- They cut out Lois/Leia kissing Chris/Luke, after which she says "Feels like kissing my brother" and chris says "It's cool, I'm from a farm planet." So so joke but better than some of the shit they left in.
- A great joke they cut out was one of the guys in front of hoth base using one of those red
viewmasters from the 80s instead of binoculars.
- A march of the penguins joke where the last penguins get stepped on by an AT-AT was also removed.
- A joke where Chris/Luke says after crashing on Daogbah "Gee, I hope we crashed somewhere near Yoda's house", highlighting the near impossible odds of having the luck of crashing near Yoda on a giant planet. Also removed.
- Removed a bit when Luke fights the fake Vader on Dagobah, and Luke/Chris calls the whole scene a bunch of symbolic bullshit.
- removed a hummer logo on the super-star destroyer.
There were others but the movie was less funny that I expected it to be, and I feel they could have nit-picked some of the errors in Empire more. Like, say, why if the Ion boob cannon on Hoth could easily disable that Star Destroyer, why didn't they use it more... or why the guy in the lead AT-AT says twice to Vader "shield generator will be down soon" and it takes like 20 minutes for them to take it down...
Has anyone seen McFarlane's Cavalcade of whatever? Is it any good? Are 90% of the voices done by Seth McFarlane as usual, because his ego is so big he has to voice EVERYONE? Is it just another McFarlane wankfest while we watch him become like another George Lucas?
Wow... TL;DR post is long.
