I saw Troy on Sunday. Not as bad as I thought it'd be--much better than Alexander--but certainly nothing I'd ever have to watch a second time. I also fast-forwarded through a bunch of filler--namely Brad Pitt's ass. Nice and tapable as it is, I didn't really give a shit. Again, that people from what is now modern day Greece and Turkey speak with British and Aussie accents is bit effin' weird. I mean, why fucking bother since it makes no sense? I'm getting annoyed by it. Frankly, I understood with Lord of the Rings (which I only bring up because it seems everyone's trying to make the "next" one). Those were films based on stories by a British writer directed by a Kiwi filmed in Kiwi-land. This fucking film is directed by a German filmed in the Republic of Malta in the Mediterranean and based primarily off of the work of an epic Greek poet. Yet they're so British they shit the Queen! Except for Eric Banana who apparent said, "Fuck this, mate" and boomeranged out full-on Kangaroo-pouch native Oz. Hilarious when the rest of his relations had no such accent. Also, while I don't agree with their choice of Helen anyway, they could've at least made her look less like a club skank that lets random doods do jello shots on her ass-crack. ** out of ****
Today I finished The Warlords. Apparently it was renamed from "The Blood Brothers" which is a faaaarrr more fitting name but ran into effin' issues so it was stuck with the ill-fitting name "The Warlords". While delivering on the war and the lords, it's instead about three men struggling with their pact as--wait for it--blood brothers. The first half starts off pretty steady but then the film got poked in the eyes sometime into the second half and poddles around blindly. It does a lot of "1 Year Later", "3 Years Later", "At This Chinese Place", "At that Chinese Place" nonsense that you really wish they just didn't. It doesn't regroup itself until the end. Also, it was woefully low on Takeshi Kaneshiro and Jet Li looked like he was a cancer patient. **1/2 out of **** If the beginning and end hadn't been decent, I would've rated it less than Troy.