First of all, let's keep the jokes that'll come from this thread tasteful, humorous, and not totally ignorant, cause I'm in a pretty good mood about this, and am quite relieved.
Now, over the last year or so, a couple of my relatives had had cancer. My Uncle died from it, and my grandmother is in remission from it...
So when I found a lump in my ass, my first thought was colon cancer.
This last week I went to the doctor......and it was hemmroids. Bit of a relief, let me tell you. It was a bit silly of me to worry that it was cancer (I'm a little young for it), looking back, but still.
So as I was walking out of the office, I recalled a nickname somebody coined around these parts, back in my "Matt Black aka Mr. Emerid" days, and I actually laughed.
"Mr. Hemeroid."
Har Har Har.