Author Topic: Beardless she-dwarf and short-haired elves. (Read 1072 times)

B E C K · « **on:** Feb 14, 2022, 05:24:30 PM »

What is this madness?

Yeah, yeah. Black people. I know that's what's getting the most attention. But no beard on her? Short hair on them? That was the least of the things they could've fixed. The costumes look cheap. Everything is CG.

Probably should've backseated this topic onto CRICKET TITS but even cricket tits have beards.

jonhammstein · « **Reply #1 on:** Feb 14, 2022, 07:00:50 PM »

I guess it's just a teaser, but it's all so scattershot and vague, I have no clue what I'm meant to take away from it.

Like, as far as my excitement for this show goes, the needle hasn't moved one bit.

But if it's anything like Wheel of Time...

B E C K · « **Reply #2 on:** Feb 14, 2022, 08:11:42 PM »

It's Wheel of Time 2: Electric Boogaloo. At least they remembered this time that people need to be dirty.

Rodent of Unusual Size · « **Reply #3 on:** Feb 18, 2022, 09:15:10 AM »

Being the archfiend Southern WASP male of the bunch, I have to admit that I really don't give a crap about the race of the actors in this thing. I'm giving it a chance but not expecting much (I learned that from Hobbit...which BTW was a total honky fest). But my biggest bugaboo with it is that 3500 years of Second Age timeline will apparently be compressed to...oh, about 200 years. That just can't possibly be good, but I hope they surprise me.

B E C K · « **Reply #4 on:** Feb 24, 2022, 08:19:31 AM »

Lord of the Rings anime film? There's gonna be an anime film? Please let it be good. Please~~~

https://variety.com/2022/film/news/lord-of-the-rings-warner-bros-zaentz-rights-1235184414/

Rodent of Unusual Size · « **Reply #5 on:** Feb 24, 2022, 02:18:09 PM »

War of the Rohirrim will feature the battle of Helm Hammerhand against the Dunlendings.

https://variety.com/2022/film/news/lord-of-the-rings-the-war-of-the-rohirrim-release-date-1235181646/

The director is the guy who did Ghost In The Shell: Stand Alone Complex.

As a big fan of the Rohirrim I'm quite looking forward to this.

jonhammstein · « **Reply #6 on:** Feb 24, 2022, 04:22:04 PM »

I mean... aren't the Rohirrim basically just the Proud Boys of Middle Earth?

Hahaha.

B E C K · « **Reply #7 on:** Feb 24, 2022, 05:49:40 PM »

2024. It comes out in 2024. Argh.

Rodent of Unusual Size · « **Reply #8 on:** Feb 25, 2022, 03:29:00 PM »

Quote from: joerammstein on Feb 24, 2022, 04:22:04 PM

I mean... aren't the Rohirrim basically just the Proud Boys of Middle Earth?

Hahaha.

The Rohirrim were basically Vikings from the Old West. Proud Boys were basically Vikings in Pelosi's office.

B E C K · « **Reply #9 on:** Feb 25, 2022, 05:13:23 PM »

Quote from: Rodent of Unusual Size on Feb 25, 2022, 03:29:00 PM

Quote from: joerammstein on Feb 24, 2022, 04:22:04 PM
I mean... aren't the Rohirrim basically just the Proud Boys of Middle Earth?

Hahaha.
The Rohirrim were basically Vikings from the Old West. Proud Boys were basically Vikings in Pelosi's office.

The Vikings, in turn, being the Proud Boys of Scandinavia's office.

Fiero · « **Reply #10 on:** Apr 02, 2022, 07:52:05 PM »

The visuals for the Rings of Power are fine. I'm annoyed that they're shrinking the timeline "to make things work" or whatever.

jonhammstein · « **Reply #11 on:** Jul 08, 2022, 03:39:17 AM »

Can you believe this thing is in September? I'm not hoping for it to fail, but I'll be super surprised if it's any good. There's just something about high fantasy as premium television that's very tough to swallow these days, particularly after the way Game of Thrones ended. And man was Wheel of Time a stinker.

You know what, though? I'll admit to being a little excited for that Willow show that Disney+ is doing. The trailer for that actually makes a pretty strong case for itself.

Or maybe I was just charmed by the "behind the scenes" featurette that had Warwick Davis addressing his much younger co-stars. It honestly could have been a scene from Life's Too Short. Loved it.

B E C K · « **Reply #12 on:** Jul 09, 2022, 11:56:10 PM »

I think the difference is that Willow the movie can be completely deviated from as long as the main character remains in tact. For me, Willow himself was the movie. As long as the viewer can believe it's the same guy--older and wiser--just doing something completely different now, a series can be passable. They'd have to really shit the bed with the Willow character to ruin it. The worse thing this series could do is sideline Willow for these other characters. Which I believe them to be capable of doing but it's possible they won't.

I don't know if this gets included with the other high fantasy clusterfucks but did you see The Legend of Vox Machina. For the people who were Critical Role fans, I'm sure they loved what they got. For me that never watched or listened to Critical Role, I quickly lost interest with that type of humor.

jonhammstein · « **Reply #13 on:** Jul 10, 2022, 12:05:45 AM »

I watched the first episode of Vox Machina. Fucking Cringe Festival. Maybe that shit can be funny in a spur of the moment kind of way during a D&D campaign, but as scripted television they can fuck right off.

Faye Valentine · « **Reply #14 on:** Jul 10, 2022, 03:38:35 AM »

I remember when the first trailer came out and was posted in youtube, literally everybody was shitting on it. I don't have high expectations. I do want to re-read the silmarillion before watching it tho

B E C K · « **Reply #15 on:** Jul 10, 2022, 09:03:06 AM »

I'm not even looking forward to the show itself but am on pins and needles waiting for the roasts.

Rodent of Unusual Size · « **Reply #16 on:** Jul 10, 2022, 10:16:50 PM »

I watched it not knowing the background. I found it at its core to be fine, but half the characterizations and virtually all the dialogue was patently ridiculous.

B E C K · « **Reply #17 on:** Aug 15, 2022, 11:05:52 AM »

I know this is already several weeks old already but I never watched it. I nearly LOL'd at the ridiculous mound of helmets. Like who the hell stacked the ones at the top? Did you have the eagles or whoever fly up there and place them there like the top of a Jenga tower? What the fuck? Classic example of some know-nothing trying to be 'le epic' and not thinking things through.

jonhammstein · « **Reply #18 on:** Aug 15, 2022, 04:35:09 PM »

Is it actually old? I haven't seen it. Was it from San Diego, maybe?

Man, you see that Black Hobbit? Is nothing sacred?

B E C K · « **Reply #19 on:** Aug 15, 2022, 05:34:11 PM »

Yeah, I believe it premiered there. The vid's from July 22nd.

jonhammstein · « **Reply #20 on:** Sep 02, 2022, 02:16:27 AM »

Well, I gotta eat my hat, because Rings of Power is actually pretty good. No shortcuts here, every frame oozes money. A promising start, at the very least.

House of the Dragon has been alright so far, too. My predictions have been way off.

Does this mean Disney's Willow is going to be ass?

B E C K · « **Reply #21 on:** Sep 03, 2022, 10:54:03 PM »

I've heard it looks good but characters and dialogue don't mesh. I actually forgot it finally came out. I might actually give an episode a watch. Or maybe see a review first. Not sure yet.

jonhammstein · « **Reply #22 on:** Sep 04, 2022, 12:27:40 AM »

Haha, it can be fucking jarring for sure. Also, short-haired elves rub me the wrong way. I kept thinking this the whole time, but then the one elf dude who wears his hair long has the most heinous wig, and I'm just like WELP.

Rodent of Unusual Size · « **Reply #23 on:** Sep 04, 2022, 10:51:22 PM »

Can you believe they spent a quarter BILLION clams on the rights to LOTR but couldn't get the fucking Silmarillion? I don't know who is to blame: Amazon for being retards, or the Tolkien estate being greedy bitches. Either way that means they can't reference anything from it that isn't also in the ROTK appendices! I don't see how they thought they could do a prequel without the primary reference for it. They did sneak some visual references from some First Age artwork, but my fear of it turning out to be largely Tolkien fanfic is no longer just an extension of my natural cynical pessimism....

Rama · « **Reply #24 on:** Oct 09, 2022, 08:15:32 AM »

First three episodes of the show we’re boring as fuck. Like nothing happened. The last couple ones are much better but at the same time I’m like “that’s not how that happened” Which I don’t know why I expected them to stick to how it happened. But I’m sitting here like going but wait a minute so Sauron has to help them make the rings of powet then he hast to go down to Mordor and the fires of Mountain Doom and make the one ring. Then the elves have to Figure out what he’s up to and then he makes war on them to get the other 17 rings back then he hast to give them to men and dwarves. Then he has to be defeated by the numenorians Then he has to be taken back to the island then he has to corrupt the people of the island to the point where the island sinks when they all have to go back to middle earth and establish their kingdoms there and then they have to fight the battle of the last alliance and they have to all do this in the lifespan of the human characters in the show. And I’m like that’s too much.

Rodent of Unusual Size · « **Reply #25 on:** Oct 09, 2022, 10:24:25 PM »

The time frame is completely jacked up, the characterizations are largely garbage, and no amount of production quality will make up for the drivel dialogue and ponderous plotting. And they haven't even gotten to the damn rings of powet yet. This is nothing but pure-D fanfic, and not good fanfic, to boot.

jonhammstein · « **Reply #26 on:** Oct 12, 2022, 12:58:35 AM »

I'm definitely struggling to stay interested at this point. One more episode to go, then I don't have to think about it anymore.

Still better than Wheel of Time, though. Ugh. UGH!

House of the Dragon, while obviously a less expensive show, is far more entertaining. The way time progresses months and even years between episodes is refreshing as fuck. Makes me wonder if, by the time we get to the planned fourth and final season, every character from season one will be long dead.

Fingers crossed for Willow.

Rama · « **Reply #27 on:** Oct 12, 2022, 09:48:01 AM »

House of the Dragon is the superior of these two shows. That show is really solid and stuff actually happens. Much more enjoyable watch, even with all the cousin/niece fucking.

jonhammstein · « **Reply #28 on:** Oct 15, 2022, 08:15:37 PM »

Season finale of Rings was pretty good. If only every episode could be as exciting and meaningful.

I wonder if every season we'll get a new batch of rings right at the end. That would be hilarious.

Rama · « **Reply #29 on:** Oct 16, 2022, 08:10:12 PM »

I was thinking the same thing. If that had been epsiode 3 instead of the season finale we might have got something out this show.