Author Topic: I got into an accident two days ago. (Read 10036 times)

Derrick · « **on:** Apr 01, 2010, 05:23:07 AM »

Right now I am typing with one arm. I was out driving during the record rains and my car skidded along the highway. It flipped and apparently my left side became crushed between the door and seat. They tried to save it, but I just lost it below the elbow. I don't know what to do now.

There is no emotion, there is peace.
There is no ignorance, there is knowledge.
There is no passion, there is serenity.
There is no death, there is the Force.

Bernie AKA · « **Reply #1 on:** Apr 01, 2010, 10:08:39 AM »

Well, I couldn't resist my bishonen any longer and now I'm expecting. You can adopt him/her as your personal helper.

Rama · « **Reply #2 on:** Apr 01, 2010, 01:10:45 PM »

Right now I am also typing with one arm....

Bernie AKA · « **Reply #3 on:** Apr 01, 2010, 01:32:35 PM »

*gets Rama a subscription to Amputee Sleazes*

Rama · « **Reply #4 on:** Apr 01, 2010, 04:10:28 PM »

Oh yeah...oil that stump. Alllllllllllllllllright.

Merla · « **Reply #5 on:** Apr 01, 2010, 04:33:22 PM »

Quote from: Rama on Apr 01, 2010, 01:10:45 PM

Right now I am also typing with one arm....

Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!!!!! A horrible image came to mind.

Did you guys hear about the new Starbucks' sizes, Plenta and Mirca. Hahahaha!!

http://www.starbucks.com/blog/10113/starbucks-listens-to-customer-request-for-more-sizes.aspx

Derrick · « **Reply #6 on:** Apr 01, 2010, 04:57:07 PM »

I often type with one hand, but that's only because I am masturbating.

Fiero · « **Reply #7 on:** Apr 01, 2010, 05:02:47 PM »

Quote from: Merla on Apr 01, 2010, 04:33:22 PM

Quote from: Rama on Apr 01, 2010, 01:10:45 PM
Right now I am also typing with one arm....

Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!!!!! A horrible image came to mind.

Did you guys hear about the new Starbucks' sizes, Plenta and Mirca. Hahahaha!!

http://www.starbucks.com/blog/10113/starbucks-listens-to-customer-request-for-more-sizes.aspx

They are cancelling that program tomorrow.

Rama · « **Reply #8 on:** Apr 01, 2010, 05:50:41 PM »

Quote from: Merla on Apr 01, 2010, 04:33:22 PM

Quote from: Rama on Apr 01, 2010, 01:10:45 PM
Right now I am also typing with one arm....

Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!!!!! A horrible image came to mind.

What she failed to say is that now she is also typing with one hand. You are so kinky girl.

Derrick · « **Reply #9 on:** Apr 01, 2010, 08:36:45 PM »

Women have wireless devices that render hands a liability.

Fiero · « **Reply #10 on:** Apr 01, 2010, 08:47:41 PM »

You can get those for dudes, too.

Rama · « **Reply #11 on:** Apr 01, 2010, 10:33:49 PM »

And how is that working out for ya?

Derrick · « **Reply #12 on:** Apr 01, 2010, 10:40:46 PM »

THEY MAKE THOSE! FUCK! Good thing sexshops are usually open 24-hours. This better not be an April Fool's Joke.

B E C K · « **Reply #13 on:** Apr 02, 2010, 10:41:50 PM »

The little devil on my shoulder told me to tell the debters calling in over at work that they owed several thousand dollars to their city/county and midway through their meltdown cheerily pipe in "April Fools!" Then I thought better of it.

Derrick · « **Reply #14 on:** Apr 03, 2010, 12:19:53 AM »

Yeah, I think that would be illegal.

B E C K · « **Reply #15 on:** Apr 04, 2010, 11:06:09 PM »

Oh well, it was the thought that counts.

Derrick · « **Reply #16 on:** Apr 05, 2010, 04:59:59 PM »

Soon, that too will be illegal. Enjoy.

Fiero · « **Reply #17 on:** Apr 05, 2010, 05:41:23 PM »

Also, masturbation will be illegal.

Derrick · « **Reply #18 on:** Apr 05, 2010, 10:25:49 PM »

Like they can catch me. I haven't paid taxes for 3 years, I won't be caught floggin' the dolphin.

Fiero · « **Reply #19 on:** Apr 05, 2010, 10:41:25 PM »

Taxes will also be illegal. All of your money will go straight to the government, so taxes will not be repealed.

Faye Valentine · « **Reply #20 on:** Apr 07, 2010, 08:49:06 AM »

Quote from: Merla on Apr 01, 2010, 04:33:22 PM

Quote from: Rama on Apr 01, 2010, 01:10:45 PM
Right now I am also typing with one arm....

Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!!!!! A horrible image came to mind.

I'm glad I'm not the only one who thought of the same thing lol

Fiero · « **Reply #21 on:** Apr 07, 2010, 01:01:20 PM »

That he had lost an arm?

Rama · « **Reply #22 on:** Apr 07, 2010, 02:54:03 PM »

Sorry if you had that misconception. What I was going for was that I was touching myself.

Bernie AKA · « **Reply #23 on:** Apr 07, 2010, 04:03:19 PM »

What I got was the thought of Derrick with one arm inspired the touching.

Rama · « **Reply #24 on:** Apr 07, 2010, 04:14:03 PM »

Oh it did.

Derrick · « **Reply #25 on:** Apr 07, 2010, 09:10:16 PM »

Stump sex is always awesome.

Bernie AKA · « **Reply #26 on:** Apr 09, 2010, 03:14:19 PM »

Better than socket sex? Murry the Evil Skull used to swear by it.

Rama · « **Reply #27 on:** Apr 09, 2010, 03:55:10 PM »

That was a night I was not proud of...but he was just giving me that "come hither" look.

Derrick · « **Reply #28 on:** Apr 09, 2010, 05:34:17 PM »

I've been enjoying aural sex recently.

B E C K · « **Reply #29 on:** Apr 09, 2010, 07:41:32 PM »

I've been typing with one hand at work and I want to tell the people calling in to slow down giving me their info and stuff because I'm typing with one hand, but I already know how their dirty minds work. BTW I use the other hand to press the ear piece against my ear because some of these people are hard to hear.