Author Topic: The last movie I saw was... (Read 488680 times)

jonhammstein · « **Reply #3960 on:** Jun 12, 2016, 01:52:47 AM »

I saw Apocalypse. It was dumb as hell, but I was completely entertained throughout. Like, what do you really want from a superhero movie? Do you want to have fun? Done. Apocalypse totally did it for me. Zero complaints.

Quicksilver! God damn it. Evan Peters as Quicksilver. If you thought he was awesome in the previous film, his main scene in Apocalypse blows that to kingdom come. If I owned Apocalypse on Blu-ray I would just have that scene playing on repeat in my house 24/7. Jesus Christ.

B E C K · « **Reply #3961 on:** Jun 13, 2016, 05:53:12 AM »

Is that movie successful or not? Monetarily speaking, I mean. It's so hard to tell these days. It had a large budget but has yet to make back that budget when going by domestic numbers. It made over $400 worldwide but, apparently, there's less profit from the foreign markets when you calculate overhead which is supposedly much more significant than domestic overhead. And marketing is supposed to be equal to budget or something but no one ever leaks the exact number. I've seen articles calling the film a flop.

Rama · « **Reply #3962 on:** Jun 14, 2016, 11:36:25 PM »

These days it seems to be if the movie made what the studio projected it to make. Like Amazing Spider-Man 2 made 700 million on a 200 million budget. But since it didn't pass the 1 billion mark like Sony wanted it to they considered it a flop and partnered with Marvel to bring us yet another Spider-Man in the MCU. Despite the fact that the film made 500 million dollars in profit.

Likewise, Batman V Superman made almost 900 million on a 250 million dollar budget, but didn't make what they expected. And it didn't help that Civil War passed it, money wise, fairly quickly after it's release.

B E C K · « **Reply #3963 on:** Jun 16, 2016, 04:45:38 AM »

When you think about though, those two movies should've been fucking huge. They should've broken cinemas worldwide. If anything could've crushed Avatar, Retard Wars, and Titantic, it should've been Batman V Superman or a Spider-Man movie. While I follow what you're saying because I know that's happened to other films--as in profitable but "not profitable enough", those two aren't the best examples. Especially not Batman V Superman feat. Wonder Woman, which I've looked forward to my entire life but didn't even care to buy a ticket to. If that were a solid movie, I'd've seen that at least twice. If they had just copied the damn three-parter from Superman where he meets Batman, I'd've seen it thrice. That they fucked that up enrages me. That they fucked up Man of Steel enrages me.

Also, you'd think at lot of these franchises and would-be franchises would try to prioritize a love story more. Not a straight-up love story, but one woven into a sci-fi or fantasy background. Something like that could be huge.

_________

For movies that I last saw, I saw an animated French film called Dofus Book 1: Julith. It was really cool film with an ending battle that felt a bit on the crap side. It plays out similar to if Harry and friends stopped Voldemort with a rousing bout of Quidditch. But otherwise a beautifully done film. Still hard to actually recommend it to people. The thing is that this movie ties into the Dofus and Wakfu series universe and I've seen all of Dofus and Wakfu, so I wasn't confused. I don't know how someone who hasn't seen those would look upon the movie. I don't know if they would care about the characters half so much or understand certain aspects about each race like how they each have their own god, etc.

ETA: Also, Dofus is pronounced Doh-FOOSS. I have no idea why the fuck someone thought it'd be a good idea to pronounce it "Doofus" in English. It started out as an online game and the ads in English for the name call it "Doofus." Who the fuck'd wanna play something called "Doofus?"

B E C K · « **Reply #3964 on:** Jun 16, 2016, 09:03:51 AM »

Watching live action Cinderella now. It feels so lazy. Like any other film in its genre. Another extension of Maleficent or Alice in Wonderland or Oz the Great and Stupidful. The same fucking film with the same tinny lighting. No creativity in its execution. None of the cast is an inspired choice. I don't want to see Lily James dumb eyebrows that don't match her hair. The prince looked like "a young forty." The father they casted for Cinderella is such a fucking simp. I wanted to punch him. He looked pathetic asking for Cinderella's permission to marry. Cate Blanchett can go away. I liked no one's face in this movie. Almost everyone looks doughy or puffy. And people had the balls to complain about the black guy in this movie. At least he was someone different... albeit still doughy and puffy.

It's over-narrated; so much tell and not enough show. SHUT THE FUCK UP. STOP TELLING WHAT'S HAPPENING. I WANT TO SEE IT. THAT'S WHY I'M WATCHING A **M O V I E.** Spending way too much time on the dreary or boring parts nobody cares about. 15+ minutes of Cinderella before she was even Cinderella? Who the fuck cares? Lingering on the obnoxious characters like the stepmother and stepsisters instead of giving us maybe a cutesy montage with the mice or a music montage of Cinderella singing and doing chores. I don't want to see the stepmother being a bitch over and over again, I want to see fun shit. Movies don't have enough fun. We don't want to see Cinders get the news of her dead daddy, the camera hovering over the fucking farmer's rancid beard. Or the stupid prince discussing boring-ass marriage prospects.

And I'm sick of the same stupid accents. Fantasy Greek? English accents. Fantasy Sweden? English accents. Fantasy fantasy? English accents. I want delicious, saucy French accents for Beauty and the Beast. But I know it's just going to be same fucking English accent. Fucking Hermione's gonna be "Puh-PAH, would you like a croissant as you wuhk on ya inventions? Oh, tea time? I'll sip muh tea as I read muh book, thank you very much. Fish and chips and all that rot." FUCK.

FUCK
FUCK
F U C K
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B E C K · « **Reply #3965 on:** Jun 16, 2016, 09:26:18 AM »

"I don't belieeeeve anymore! Boo hoo hoo hoo!" Am I supposed to be feel bad for you, bitch? She doesn't even look sad. Like a spoiled brat throwing a tantrum over a few rips she could sew right up. You were stupid enough to come down the stairs as if they would've brought you along. It just looked like she's over-reacting. WOW... Helena Bonham Carter. First I thought she was the least annoying thing about this film but then she proved me wrong in a matter of seconds. Why not an old lady for the Fairy Godmother, you fucks?

B E C K · « **Reply #3966 on:** Jun 16, 2016, 09:28:47 AM »

"I caaan't drive. I'm a goose." Were the Voltron writers involved here?

jonhammstein · « **Reply #3967 on:** Jun 24, 2016, 07:13:29 PM »

I watched Blake Lively fight a shark instead of Matthew McConaughey liberating black people, or ID42.

I think I made the right choice.

B E C K · « **Reply #3968 on:** Jun 25, 2016, 02:01:20 PM »

Are there any patriotic movies with black alien sharks? I think this is a woefully untapped market.

Rodent of Unusual Size · « **Reply #3969 on:** Jun 25, 2016, 08:11:05 PM »

I'd watch Blake Lively slow-reading poetry in a burlap sack over most anything else, quite frankly.

B E C K · « **Reply #3970 on:** Jun 26, 2016, 10:03:48 AM »

I read movie spoilers for Blake Lively shark flick, Into the Forest, and the Neon Demon. Damn, there're a lot of shit movies being made when Blake Lively shark flick looks like the best movie playing right now. Is anyone planning to suffer through ID42 or whatever. I mean, as much as I dislike Will Smith (although I dislike Jamie Foxx more but whatev), Smith was a huge part of the damn movie. The only excuse for killing him off is if he had died in real life. It's like if they made Finding Dory without Nemo in it. But from what I heard so far, Smith was better off not being near that trainwreck.

Rama · « **Reply #3971 on:** Jun 26, 2016, 11:44:32 PM »

I was thinking about it, but I didn't even know it was out already.

Rama · « **Reply #3972 on:** Jun 26, 2016, 11:45:49 PM »

oh and I saw John Wick. Pretty damn good for a Keanu movie that isn't Bill and Ted,

Fiero · « **Reply #3973 on:** Jun 27, 2016, 07:47:24 PM »

Alicia is watching Labyrinth because it's 30 year anniversary today, apparently. It's a good thing I don't hate her favorite movie. I still prefer Dark Crystal, though.

B E C K · « **Reply #3974 on:** Jun 28, 2016, 10:39:51 AM »

I've been meaning to rewatch that--Labyrinth, I mean--but haven't gotten to it. While not entire movies, I've seen the ends to a few movies. Bridge to Terabithia (or however that's spelled). And I saw the end of Ghostrider with Nic Cage. Man, that guy's such a shit actor. Wes Bentley was a shit villain and Eva Mendes has great boobs or whatever. Because all she was in that movie was a pair of tits.

I also saw most of Underworld. I think the Scott Speedman character should've died. He was like the product of a bad fanfic and to this day is a completely unimpressive part of that flick. The story was always more powerful with Kate Beckinsale's Seline. Nitpick but the vampire guy that was lusting after her should've been cleancut. They gave him longish hair when it was clear vampire men had short hair and lycans were doing the homeless hipster thing.

Oh, and I saw the end of Shawshank. Because there's no way I can stumble on the end of that movie and not see it through.

jonhammstein · « **Reply #3975 on:** Jul 04, 2016, 02:27:54 AM »

I liked Neon Demon. BFG sucked. Holy fuck did it suck. Just insipid, braindead pablum. I don't know who this movie is supposed to be for. There's a scene that revolves around explosive flatulence. Spielberg, what the fuck, man? UNREPENTANT GARBAGE.

Neon Demon, though. Good. Keanu is in it, doing his best Nic Cage. It's actually pretty glorious. And I don't know if it's just that he's getting old, but the last couple things I've seen him in, he hasn't sounded like himself. It's almost like he heard one too many Keanu impressions, and was like, "Do I really sound like that?" And now he's making a concerted effort to never sound like that ever again.

Then I watched Only God Forgives, because I had missed that. I guess I should watch Bronson now, too.

I'm okay with Nicolas Winding Refn making bizarro movies for the rest of his life. The world needs more of that shit.

B E C K · « **Reply #3976 on:** Jul 04, 2016, 03:38:55 AM »

I want to laugh every time I saw an ad for BFG because I kept wanting to call that movie Big Fucking Giant. It looked like a shit movie from the trailer. I feel confused because on the surface, it seems something that should be interesting from the mere concept. The giant was ugly. The color palette was ugly. Then overall narrative other than the presence of a creepy, big fucking giant was really unclear. No one I cared came out in it. The music didn't grab me. I hadn't read the book. I never even heard of the book before. The movie looked like a poor man's LOTR. I'm trying to find reasons. I guess those were the reasons.

jonhammstein · « **Reply #3977 on:** Jul 04, 2016, 09:52:39 AM »

I wasn't familiar with the book, either. And then on another website people were saying it stacks up unfavorably against the '89 version, and I was like whaaaaaat?

Rodent of Unusual Size · « **Reply #3978 on:** Jul 04, 2016, 11:13:44 AM »

Quote from: B E C K on Jul 04, 2016, 03:38:55 AM

I want to laugh every time I saw an ad for BFG because I kept wanting to call that movie Big Fucking Giant.

This. I kept wondering, "why the HFIL are they marketing a movie to kids called 'Big Fucking Giant'? Did someone not notice, or is that the point?"

B E C K · « **Reply #3979 on:** Jul 05, 2016, 04:29:47 AM »

I get that the book is called "The BFG" but this is one of those cases where the movie needed to be titled differently than the book. A movie called "Big Friendly Giant" would've been far more efficient in selling this film. It tells you what the movie is about and that the movie is marketed to kids. For all Joe Viewer knows, The BFG's another Pan's Labyrinth or something with scary violence. The average parent probably saw the trailer and the confusing title and said "fuck it, let's just go see Dory again." The people behind this film shot themselves in the foot. They also gave me some hearty laughs. But they shot themselves in the foot.

Also.... why the ever-loving fuck was this made with a $140 million budget? Has ANYTHING based on Roald Dahl's work merited a film of this budget? Fantastic Mr. Fox fantastically flopped. The Witches? James and the Giant Peach? Matilda's success is considered moderate at best. Yeah, okay, there's Willy Wonka/Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. Charlie and the Chocolate Factory had a larger budget BUT it also had a 20+ year cult following from Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory AND the Tim Burton/Johnny Depp combo which was considerably less reviled back then. I don't even think anyone even associated it with Dahl's work. Completely apples to oranges with The BFG, a book no one in America remotely cares about starring Mark Rylance, an actor no one in America gives a shit about. And Stephen Spielberg's still a profitable director and all, but I have a feeling fewer people care about him anymore i.e. I don't think him just slapping his name on something is enough to sell shit anymore.

Quote from: joerammstein on Jul 04, 2016, 09:52:39 AM

I wasn't familiar with the book, either. And then on another website people were saying it stacks up unfavorably against the '89 version, and I was like whaaaaaat?

That is cool. And it has Amanda Root, who played one of my fave Austen heroines.

B E C K · « **Reply #3980 on:** Jul 05, 2016, 04:46:21 AM »

Oh, oh, and I saw Finding Dory with Merla. Merla's second viewing and she plans a third and fourth viewing already. It was cutesy if not overly contrived. But unlike most of the competition this year, it's a light-hearted film with adorable little creatures in it, so I see why it's making a mint. I'll admit the tag pissed me off.

Spoilerly space even though it's not really a spoiler...

Part of the tag from the film features Gill and his friends STILL in their plastic bags, which have caked up with green shit. The film establishes the timeline as being a year later from Finding Nemo. They'd be fucking dead. What the fuck. The assumption was clear that they were free from their bags when they swim around during the Finding Nemo credits. Worst retcon ever.

jonhammstein · « **Reply #3981 on:** Jul 06, 2016, 05:17:28 AM »

I know this notion is firmly in tinfoil hat territory, but I don't think Spielberg had anything to do with BFG. I think he accepted a payout to let them stamp his name on it, because they knew what a turd they had on their hands, and they hoped to mitigate that a little.

I don't know what's worse, what I just suggested, or if Spielberg ACTUALLY made the movie.

I think I'd respect him more if the former were true.

Fantastic Mr. Fox is glorious. I love everything about that movie. I don't care how much money it did or didn't make. "Are you cussing at me?"

B E C K · « **Reply #3982 on:** Jul 06, 2016, 11:56:58 AM »

I couldn't sit through the second half of Fantastic Mr. Fox. It just bored me. My dad's gf's grandkids were watching that and they really liked it. They sat through it multiple times. I was really surprised it was holding their attention.

I wouldn't be surprised if you were right about Bignormous Fucking Giant. I could totally see desperate executives throwing Spielberg's name on it for a truckfull of monies. It seems weird to go from directing Lincoln and Bridge of Spies to a total dud. The picture on this article seems to suggest Spielberg was directing it. But it could've been a photo op, too.

http://www.slashfilm.com/steven-spielberg-brand/

B E C K · « **Reply #3983 on:** Jul 06, 2016, 12:04:07 PM »

lol, that comment tho'...

From: http://www.rollingstone.com/movies/news/why-did-steven-spielbergs-the-bfg-flop-20160705

jonhammstein · « **Reply #3984 on:** Jul 06, 2016, 10:40:46 PM »

This probably happens to most creatives who strike it rich, but I just don't think Spielberg has anything left to say. The hunger has subsided. I don't even know what he's after anymore. He probably just keeps working because he doesn't know what else to do with himself.

He's making another Indiana Jones FFS. After Crystal Skull!

B E C K · « **Reply #3985 on:** Jul 07, 2016, 01:58:44 AM »

I think when you get to that point, you should start mining for fresh talent. He should be nurturing up and coming storytellers with fresh vision. And, ideally, he would inspired in turn and have something new to say. But yeah, that's anyone: Directors, writers, artists, musicians, comedians... make enough material and you run out of shit to say. And it's obvious you have nothing new to say. I was just thinking that with Hajime no Ippo, which I'm re-watching to the nth time. The story is perfect at 76 episodes. I love Season 1. With all of the other material--two more seasons, OVA, and movie--there's nothing more to say. A few things are entertaining and chuckle-worthy but this fucking manga's STILL going. Since 1989. Or Usagi Yojimbo. I feel kinda bad for saying that one since Stan Sakai is such a talent and class act. He works so damn hard. But the damn rabbit's story isn't done yet? Since 1984? Eyeshield 21 should've ended after they won the damn Christmas Bowl. It would've been perfect. It took 300 chapters to reach that goal and the final chapters should've been an epilogue of them savoring their hard-won victory. But no, we had to have 20+ more chapters of nothing. Or the Simpsons. The fucking Simpsons haven't had anything to say in twenty years.

jonhammstein · « **Reply #3986 on:** Jul 07, 2016, 08:28:10 AM »

Man, Usagi. When I was back heavy into comics several years ago, that was one I always looked forward to. But then it started to get stale. One time I actually thought I was accidentally reading an issue I had already read, but nope, it was just really, really similar to a previous story. Also, I really scrutinized the art because I liked it so much, and it had begun to look rushed and sloppy around the time my interest in comics was waning again.

B E C K · « **Reply #3987 on:** Jul 07, 2016, 08:46:10 AM »

I stopped somewhere around Book 23 after going on a massive binge and reading most of the series (or at least most of what was out at that time). Never noticed the art looking wonkier than usual. Was it past that point or before? Where I stopped was shortly after Usagi stopped traveling with his son.

jonhammstein · « **Reply #3988 on:** Jul 09, 2016, 12:13:59 AM »

The last one I have is 21, but I'm pretty sure I read a whole lot of singles beyond that. I was probably just burnt out and used that as an excuse to judge everything more harshly than it deserved.

I watched Swiss Army Man earlier tonight. Fucking weird. I thought it would be weird and deep, but the weirdness was all pretty superficial. I don't know. Didn't hate it. Ramona Flowers was in there for a bit, so bonus points.

B E C K · « **Reply #3989 on:** Jul 09, 2016, 12:20:51 AM »

After googling that, I realized that's the flick with dead, gassy Harry Potter in it.