Author Topic: Holy crap (Read 207049 times)

joe · « **Reply #690 on:** Nov 17, 2011, 01:36:43 PM »

"To become me, you'd have to kill me. And we both know that ain't happening."

You guys are about the same age, so you've at least got that much going for you.

IDE · « **Reply #691 on:** Nov 17, 2011, 06:24:18 PM »

You're about the same age as him too. So let's all get 19 yr olds and take rugby shots.

B E C K · « **Reply #692 on:** Nov 17, 2011, 08:31:58 PM »

That ciggy's bigger than his fingers!

IDE · « **Reply #693 on:** Jun 05, 2013, 04:21:51 AM »

I have a cat now. His name is Bruce Wayne on account of the marking on his chest resembling a bat.

I'm also single again. I think, she hasn't spoken to me in weeks. I feel like a hitman who thought he was out of the game and is now dusting off his old murder weapons but in my case it's dusting off the old pubic hair trimmers.

IDE · « **Reply #694 on:** Jun 05, 2013, 04:39:39 AM »

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_nLiQBV6A7c

B E C K · « **Reply #695 on:** Jun 05, 2013, 10:47:53 PM »

Quote from: IDE on Jun 05, 2013, 04:21:51 AM

I have a cat now. His name is Bruce Wayne on account of the marking on his chest resembling a bat.

I'm also single again. I think, she hasn't spoken to me in weeks. I feel like a hitman who thought he was out of the game and is now dusting off his old murder weapons but in my case it's dusting off the old pubic hair trimmers.

My brain didn't read "trimmers" the first time around. I was gonna say maybe you should try combing in some camelccino in there or somethin'.

IDE · « **Reply #696 on:** Jun 06, 2013, 04:58:21 AM »

Yeah I could comb some of that in and make it look like wesley crusher's old do.

B E C K · « **Reply #697 on:** Jun 06, 2013, 10:41:09 PM »

Duuude! How'd you know I was watching TNG yesterday?

IDE · « **Reply #698 on:** Jun 10, 2013, 03:09:58 AM »

I had this girl's number. I called it, but the phone died as it rang and for some reason it didn't register the outgoing call. I was supposed to take her out for sushi tomorrow and then come back to my place so we could "watch braveheart" which is code for we're going to put braveheart on in the background while I slam you out. I used to use Animal House, but I'm switching things up.

IDE · « **Reply #699 on:** Jun 12, 2013, 03:28:26 PM »

Mission Accomplished, but my thirst is not yet slaked! I'm starting to realize I'm going to die alone. This last girl was the final train leaving the station from Lustfuck Vampiresville. I'm stuck here forever.

IDE · « **Reply #700 on:** Jun 12, 2013, 03:29:09 PM »

Last girl as in my ex, not the one from a couple nights ago.

Also, Gwen stefani ruined my banana republic online credit card phishing scam by teaching everyone how to spell banana correctly.

IDE · « **Reply #701 on:** Jun 21, 2013, 10:13:56 PM »

Masturbating on adderal isn't easy but if you succeed it's amazing.

IDE · « **Reply #702 on:** Jul 01, 2013, 02:24:57 PM »

PROVIDENCE!

A 20 yr old virgin has been bestowed upon me. This will be the 3rd hymen busting in california alone! (Well there was only one other in FL). I better not fuck this up or will be back on here bemoaning my ineptitude for being out of the game for so long.

B E C K · « **Reply #703 on:** Jul 02, 2013, 06:33:17 PM »

If you do, there's always that pound and a half of turkey waiting for you.

IDE · « **Reply #704 on:** Jul 03, 2013, 04:39:20 AM »

I can't even fall back on the turkey. It's full of sodium nitrites so I have to give it up.

IDE · « **Reply #705 on:** Jul 11, 2013, 04:58:02 AM »

Her maidenhead is scheduled to meets it's demise this weekend.

Fiero · « **Reply #706 on:** Jul 11, 2013, 11:13:35 AM »

Oh, I remember, this is that guy that I sort of can't stand. I mean, good luck, or whatever.

B E C K · « **Reply #707 on:** Jul 12, 2013, 12:14:13 AM »

Rama · « **Reply #708 on:** Jul 12, 2013, 02:10:55 AM »

How could you forget IDE? This is his thing. He is a one trick pony and this is the trick.

IDE · « **Reply #709 on:** Jul 12, 2013, 02:36:08 PM »

I have all sorts of tricks but this is the one I do here.

And what is this you sort of can't stand me crap? You either can't stand me or you can. Make up your mind, this is why you're going to fail at life.

IDE · « **Reply #710 on:** Jul 12, 2013, 02:39:51 PM »

Actually I'm supposed to be doing this trick in that other thread: Uno Dos Tres

What was the point of this one again?

Shit, maybe I am a one trick pony.

B E C K · « **Reply #711 on:** Jul 13, 2013, 10:44:07 PM »

I thought the point was about your acting. Yes, I cheated, jumped to the first page, and skimmed it.

IDE · « **Reply #712 on:** Jul 14, 2013, 04:33:20 AM »

Yeah I cheated too, but then I skimmed into mid thread and I had mucked it up with sex nonsense.

Rama · « **Reply #713 on:** Jul 14, 2013, 08:06:40 PM »

My thoughts exactly.

Fiero · « **Reply #714 on:** Jul 17, 2013, 01:53:47 PM »

Quote from: IDE on Jul 12, 2013, 02:36:08 PM

I have all sorts of tricks but this is the one I do here.

And what is this you sort of can't stand me crap? You either can't stand me or you can. Make up your mind, this is why you're going to fail at life.

Sometimes you make me amused.
Sometimes you make me nauseous.

B E C K · « **Reply #715 on:** Jul 17, 2013, 05:48:49 PM »

Or amusedly nauseous. Or nauseously amused.

Fiero · « **Reply #716 on:** Jul 18, 2013, 12:19:13 PM »

Those have happened, yes.

IDE · « **Reply #717 on:** Jul 24, 2013, 05:10:54 PM »

I just submitted myself for the roles of swamp monster and camp counselor for the live action version of Ben 10.

B E C K · « **Reply #718 on:** Jul 24, 2013, 09:09:20 PM »

They should let you do both parts.

IDE · « **Reply #719 on:** Jul 25, 2013, 03:38:22 AM »

To be honest I'd rather be the swamp monster and I have a better chance of landing that based on my experience with heavy costume suits. But counselor is face time, but they'll probably pick someone with shaggy locks and boyish charm.