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Author Topic: Holy crap  (Read 207151 times)

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Re: Holy crap
« Reply #270 on: Mar 20, 2008, 12:54:53 AM »
Cause I've never done it before and you could make my dream come true.

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Re: Holy crap
« Reply #271 on: Mar 20, 2008, 01:33:50 AM »
HA!

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Re: Holy crap
« Reply #272 on: Mar 22, 2008, 10:45:29 PM »
damn, things aren't looking good.
But if I pull this off though its gonna be fucking epic. 

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Re: Holy crap
« Reply #273 on: Mar 23, 2008, 02:12:07 PM »
Le Epice
The wife forgave the mistress for she only entertained.

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Re: Holy crap
« Reply #274 on: Mar 25, 2008, 11:45:16 PM »
Well the bitch dropped the hammer on me today.  The conversation that did me in was me dropping my number.  I don't know why I gave it to her.  She gave me hers and she said she didn't judge me and didn't want me to judge her.  But I bet she was judging!   Then the last time we went out her friend was rubbing on my arm so I rubbed her back but not in a sexual way and I did the chin touch thing I do like "here's lookin at you kid" type of thing.  And she accidentally called her friend a bitch in front of me (but just playfully) and the chick got all defensive about being called a bitch infront of me (friend was obviously a little fixated on me) so they were arguing and then friend said that I touched her face and that meant I was hitting on her.

So I was between her and her friend, still she says that wasn't it.  She claims "I'm just not feeling it".   I told her I'm a tough kid and that she can tell me what it really was, but she wouldn't.  Thats a load of shit though cause she was all about me and you don't go from being all about me to "not feeling it" without a reason.  The reason is one or both of the above.  I don't care anymore and I slept with 2 other girls once I suspected things were going south.  Still I miss her.  She liked video games and anime and renn fairs etc.  It was sort of like what I imagine dating nuri would be like, not that I'm crushing on you or anything but your personality and interests are attractive.

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Re: Holy crap
« Reply #275 on: Mar 26, 2008, 10:25:14 PM »
Hope you're ok with full frontal nudity

Shit just got real

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Re: Holy crap
« Reply #276 on: Mar 26, 2008, 11:36:45 PM »
You lose points for not having helicopters flying over you as you said that.    It also should have been at sunset.

But it was a very good attempts.

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Re: Holy crap
« Reply #277 on: Mar 27, 2008, 12:15:07 AM »
Well basically thats what I'm going to say to the people who are next when I walk out of an audition.  No one ever tells anyone whats going to happen in there.  I guess they think that will give the competition an advantage.  So from now on I'm gonna walk back into the waiting area refastening my belt, zipping up my zipper, and saying that.

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Re: Holy crap
« Reply #278 on: Mar 27, 2008, 09:13:09 AM »
Brilliant.  Simply brilliant.

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Re: Holy crap
« Reply #279 on: Mar 27, 2008, 10:35:10 AM »
Yet disturbing.

I don't want it to be easy, I want it to be right.

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Re: Holy crap
« Reply #280 on: Mar 27, 2008, 12:13:49 PM »
But I've never been to a renn fair.

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Re: Holy crap
« Reply #281 on: Mar 27, 2008, 12:53:55 PM »
Several in Texas - I recommend Scarborough Faire in Waxahachie in April-May over TRF in Plantersville.  Go see The Rogues.
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Re: Holy crap
« Reply #282 on: Mar 27, 2008, 12:56:17 PM »
But I've never been to a renn fair.

But you'd go to one.

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Re: Holy crap
« Reply #283 on: Mar 27, 2008, 05:42:54 PM »
 :fingershake: :fingershake: Never give your REAL number son! always say some low number.

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Re: Holy crap
« Reply #284 on: Mar 29, 2008, 12:58:37 PM »
Yeah I know...I've made up a new number based on me losing my virginity when I was 18.



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Re: Holy crap
« Reply #285 on: Mar 29, 2008, 12:59:19 PM »
oops

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Re: Holy crap
« Reply #286 on: Mar 29, 2008, 09:23:20 PM »
Yeah I know...I've made up a new number based on me losing my virginity when I was 18.

What number are you talking about?

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Re: Holy crap
« Reply #287 on: Mar 29, 2008, 09:30:30 PM »
Oh Nuri, you precious naive little flower.


The only reason I even told her was because I was blinded by the light, wrapped up like a douche...

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Re: Holy crap
« Reply #288 on: Mar 30, 2008, 02:16:47 AM »
Less naive, more just effin' lost.

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Re: Holy crap
« Reply #289 on: Mar 30, 2008, 09:05:02 AM »
Oh Nuri, you precious naive little flower.


The only reason I even told her was because I was blinded by the light, wrapped up like a douche...
First mistake! Only your friends should know that number. Hell, I wouldn't even tell my own husband my real number , and it's not because I've had a lot (cause I haven't- contrary to popular belief around here) but just because I wouldn't look "as innocent" as if I had a super low number, say, 2, 3?

I really don't care about a guy's number. The only thing I would care about is contracting any STD, ANY Std. Especially since some of them can be get with or without a condom. Maybe she was worried and didn't want to ask you about it? (Im not saying that you have any, btw)

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Re: Holy crap
« Reply #290 on: Mar 30, 2008, 10:39:03 AM »
She asked about STDs too and I told her that I'd been tested (for everything a little over a year ago and the big one like 3 months ago). 

I think I'm going to forget my number so that the actual truth is lost to antiquity and I can't reveal it even if I want to.

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Re: Holy crap
« Reply #291 on: Mar 31, 2008, 10:53:19 AM »
I could hear him calling her name outside of the room.  As soon as she heard it there was a loud sucking pop noise, the kind you can make with blow pop as she popped me out of her mouth and ran towards the door.  She opened it and put her arms around him as I pulled my pants up.  A silent scream went off in my head!

"NO, WAI-!"

But it was too late she was full on french kissing him

"What?", he asked a stream of spittle falling from his chin.

"Nothing Nothing, Oh look at the time..."

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Re: Holy crap
« Reply #292 on: Mar 31, 2008, 01:43:27 PM »
Lord....this is part of why I only slept with girls until I was 20.  :P
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Re: Holy crap
« Reply #293 on: Mar 31, 2008, 03:59:53 PM »
O.O

*nosebleed and passes out*
I said its hot outside let me go swimming in your eyes;
We been running for awhile. Why don't you lay dow, I'll make you smile.
I could never ask for nothing better than this;
It's just tequila and the beach, it's quite salty when we kiss.

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Re: Holy crap
« Reply #294 on: Mar 31, 2008, 08:35:15 PM »
Oh THAT number.  I was missing the context.  All you had to say was it was how many times you had sex.  You didn't have to be a jerk about it.  Fucker.

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Re: Holy crap
« Reply #295 on: Apr 03, 2008, 08:33:18 PM »
Are you done talking about my cock with your friends?

Not yet.

Well there is a lot to talk about.

(or)

Yeah, there wasn't much to talk about.


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Re: Holy crap
« Reply #296 on: Apr 04, 2008, 10:22:00 PM »
Softcore is like downloading a photo of a parked car. Meh.
Wouldn't you prefer to see it used in a high-speed chase with explosions? That's hardcore.
Actually driving the car in a high-speed chase with a nuclear bomb counting down to detonation in the trunk would be awesome. That's actually having sex with a girl.
Since the third option will never happen for any of you hardcore pr0n is the best choice.

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Re: Holy crap
« Reply #297 on: Apr 14, 2008, 12:16:40 AM »
To Whom it may concern,

Ever since I worked as a production assistant in television news I've wanted to cross over into ad sales.  Acting and public speaking have given me the communication skills to succeed in this field.  I'm great on the phone and I think I could really excel in this position if given the opportunity.

Thank you for your time and consideration,




Something sucks about this letter...I've never been good at writing these.

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Re: Holy crap
« Reply #298 on: Apr 15, 2008, 12:22:44 AM »
The opening line needs some work.

You need to BS more in the middle to. Really puff it up but with out straight lying. And I wouldn't give a definitive statement like "Acting and public speaking have given me the communication skills to succeed in this field. " it's like you are telling them what to think. Add something like "I believe" to the front of that.

You know I might take a crack at this, but no promises. I don't really know much about you other then you are a man-whore. I don't think that'll impress them.

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Re: Holy crap
« Reply #299 on: Apr 15, 2008, 12:45:46 AM »
Quote
To Whom It May Concern,

I wish to express interest in any position that may be available in your company's ad sales department.  By virtue of my prior experience as a production assistant in television news, my background and training in theater and public speaking, and the communication skills developed as a result, I feel that I would be an asset to your department.

Thank you for your time, and I appreciate any consideration you give to this matter.

Sincerely,

IDE

I would suggest enclosing a cleanly-designed, one-page résumé with at least two references...one from your TV job and an acting/school contact.
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