Author Topic: Merry Christmas (Read 44147 times)

IDE · « **Reply #120 on:** Jan 24, 2007, 03:07:45 AM »

I had a perfect comic strip evening tonight at work. This chick comes up to me and tells me she has the hiccups and asks if I know how to get rid of them. So I tell her yes I do but she has to kiss me. Then she asks if it's ok for me to kiss her while I'm working. I tell her it's ok as long as I'm only kissing her to get rid of hiccups.

So we start making out...

for like over a minute.

Now this wasn't supposed to cure her hiccups...but it did.

I'm like the make-out jesus.

Rama · « **Reply #121 on:** Jan 24, 2007, 12:05:10 PM »

Quote

In your story for example, I might call you ITP instead.

I'd call him Darryl "Manhard" Johnson.

B E C K · « **Reply #122 on:** Dec 06, 2011, 12:39:11 AM »

Guests are reading this! They're gonna steal my idea! My millions! My Cafepress merch millions! And by "millions" I mean "of pennies". But still!

Rama · « **Reply #123 on:** Dec 06, 2011, 12:44:51 AM »

Don't you mean "Our" money. I'm totally gonna Thunderball your ass on this one.

B E C K · « **Reply #124 on:** Dec 06, 2011, 12:47:28 AM »

If by "Thunderball your ass" you mean "sit in a corner and weep", go right ahead.

Rama · « **Reply #125 on:** Dec 06, 2011, 12:51:39 AM »

That's not what I meant.

IDE · « **Reply #126 on:** Dec 06, 2011, 03:58:43 AM »

God damn it! I was more awesome 4 years ago!

Fuck! Someone do something!

joe · « **Reply #127 on:** Dec 06, 2011, 11:45:15 AM »

There's nothing for it. You just need to accept the fact that you'll be resembling Abe Vigoda sooner than later.

Fiero · « **Reply #128 on:** Dec 06, 2011, 09:22:11 PM »

And Abe Vigoda is resembling a chimpanzee.

B E C K · « **Reply #129 on:** Dec 06, 2011, 09:34:04 PM »

And the chimpanzee is resembling IDE.

Fiero · « **Reply #130 on:** Dec 06, 2011, 10:57:55 PM »

Quote from: B E C K on Dec 06, 2011, 09:34:04 PM

And the chimpanzee is resembling IDE.

The circle is complete. Now we can begin the ritual.

B E C K · « **Reply #131 on:** Dec 07, 2011, 12:32:09 AM »

Satanic?

Rama · « **Reply #132 on:** Dec 07, 2011, 12:44:15 AM »

The Devil himself will come to earth and put his finger right in IDE's butt.

IDE · « **Reply #133 on:** Dec 07, 2011, 12:50:52 AM »

My butt hole can never be entered. This is the Mandate of Heaven. If anything passes up into it all of creation will be undone.

Fiero · « **Reply #134 on:** Dec 07, 2011, 01:01:47 AM »

Why do you think we want o cast the damn ritual.

B E C K · « **Reply #135 on:** Dec 07, 2011, 11:04:42 PM »

I'm just picturing IDE's butthole like a black hole or a scifi wormhole. Like, if you try to finger it, your whole body gets sucked on in. And maybe reappears at the other end of the universe.

Chopper Face 69 · « **Reply #136 on:** Dec 08, 2011, 08:34:43 AM »

Miroku's hand maybe?

IDE · « **Reply #137 on:** Dec 08, 2011, 11:01:42 AM »

Quote from: B E C K on Dec 07, 2011, 11:04:42 PM

I'm just picturing IDE's butthole like a black hole or a scifi wormhole. Like, if you try to finger it, your whole body gets sucked on in. And maybe reappears at the other end of the universe.

Yeah, you stay outta there.

Rama · « **Reply #138 on:** Dec 08, 2011, 11:53:01 AM »

So the Federation is gonna post a space station near it?

joe · « **Reply #139 on:** Dec 08, 2011, 11:54:05 AM »

Come on, bud. You haven't jizzed until you've jizzed with a girl's fingers all the way up your plop-plop. You of all people should know that.

IDE · « **Reply #140 on:** Dec 08, 2011, 12:29:39 PM »

Maybe when I'm 172 and on my death bed I'll have one 18 yr old ride me while another jams her finger up my ass. Then as all of creation falls to shambles I will realize you were right and a single tear will roll down my cheek like an Indian picking up litter before everything fades to white.

B E C K · « **Reply #141 on:** Dec 08, 2011, 09:08:22 PM »

Quote from: Rama on Dec 08, 2011, 11:53:01 AM

So the Federation is gonna post a space station near it?

First ones in are Ferengi.

Rama · « **Reply #142 on:** Dec 08, 2011, 11:00:53 PM »

Plenty of latinum to be made there.

B E C K · « **Reply #143 on:** Dec 12, 2011, 11:51:35 PM »

Quote from: Adam on Dec 08, 2011, 08:34:43 AM

Miroku's hand maybe?

As long as the theme music comes with it.

B E C K · « **Reply #144 on:** Sep 17, 2016, 05:11:49 PM »

Quote from: IDE on Dec 08, 2011, 12:29:39 PM

Then as all of creation falls to shambles I will realize you were right and a single tear will roll down my cheek like an Indian picking up litter before everything fades to white.

That guy was actually Sicilian and not Indian-anything at all. Good thing I was able to address this five years later. I mean, what a relief!

Rodent of Unusual Size · « **Reply #145 on:** Sep 18, 2016, 02:34:01 PM »

Finding out Iron Eyes Cody was a Sicilian schmuck nearly destroyed my childhood. Then I remembered that I never saw him in anything until I was well into double digits.

B E C K · « **Reply #146 on:** Sep 18, 2016, 11:45:04 PM »

When I found out, I questioned every tear I had ever seen in my life. If you can't trust a crying Indian to be real, what can you trust? Also among fakey ethnics, Jenette "Private Vasquez" Goldstein aka the fake Latina from Aliens.

Quote from: http://bloody-disgusting.com/editorials/3388753/talk-vasquez-aliens-casting-problematic/

“The makeup took an hour,” Goldstein told Starlog Magazine back in 1987, reflecting on the film. “The makeup woman said I had the most ornery freckles she had ever seen. It was freezing cold on the set, and we were oiled up all the time. The fake sweat and water made the makeup run a lot, so it was a toss-up between looking sweatier and having my white skin show through.”

They took an hour, wasted make-up and make-up personnel on making a fake brown Latina when they could've just hired Rachel Ticotin or someone like that.

Rama · « **Reply #147 on:** Sep 21, 2016, 09:34:28 AM »

This guy wasn't a real Indian either...

B E C K · « **Reply #148 on:** Sep 21, 2016, 03:05:30 PM »

Holy fuck beans, maybe it's just because it's been decades since I've seen that movie but I never realized the fake Indian from Short Circuit was the bad guy from Hackers.

Rama · « **Reply #149 on:** Sep 27, 2016, 06:34:09 PM »

Hackers? You mean that movie starring future mega Hollywood super star......Matthew Lillard?