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Author Topic: What I've Learned this year  (Read 6049 times)

Wickedly Yours E

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What I've Learned this year
« on: Dec 20, 2006, 09:39:23 PM »

    The advent of Christmas has brought my mind to an overall speculation of the happenings of this year and what I've learned, what I've lost, what I've gained, plagues my thoughts.
I've lost a lot of my naivete, my innocence. I've learned the true nature of the concept of "family", I've gained a deeper appreciation of "love" in the familial and brotherly sense, nay even in the romantic ideal. All of these revelations, these epiphanies, stem from the abhorrent countenance andactions of supposed "Blood relatives".
    I believe in forgiveness, yet I have little faith in Redemption. I believe Redemption to be a concept propagated by people who seek forgiveness through action rather than understanding what was committed was wrong, yet even if I did hold value in this ideal, the relative in question can not, will never, be redeemable in anyone's eyes.
The corruption of a damaged, helpless mind is contemptable, yet when the mind is of your own blood, nay, your own father, is turned against a brother over pettiness, arrogance, this must give the most saintly spirit pause to the soul of such a creature that would commit such a sin against family. To continue the manipulations and machinations, to have purposefully created rifts between sister and mother, father and son, to know the extent of the web of deceit stretches back decades, to just see the poison that ebbs from a single person's soul, how can you not look upon this evil and not be changed forever? How can you not lose a little piece of yourself when you see the agony one poisoned wraith wrecks upon your loved ones?
    The machinations have led to true examination of the bloodline by me, and the secrets thus revealed. What greed can do to someone, what addiction, what thoughtlessness can twist a loving soul into doing...my eyes have always been open, but now they see the truth a little bit more.
To change the legalized dying wishes of a beloved, if not blood related, family member, to see the willful indulgence of poison into one's body, to revile in absolute sloth with the sufferance of others around you, laid ontop of the manipulations, lies, and mental anguish, could make a person lose faith in love and family entirely.
    I've lost my ideology: "family" does not come first, "blood" is not thicker than water. I lost the part of me that clung to the belief that, though family may be flawed, they are your family and should be loved as such. I weep for this lost innocence, for never again will I be that pure in thought, belief, and nature; Never again.
Yet, in this loss, I gain a new religion, a new ideology based on the ashes of the old; Family is what you make it. There is a new, deeper love I feel, I understand, for the people around me who feel genuine love for me, whether it be familial or brotherly. These souls are my family, Who I've chosen to share my life and love with, whether they be blood or friends, they are important to me. I value love and friendship in a deeper, more soulful, way that I never could have without the betrayal and pain caused by sick, twisted souls. Such souls will never understand such blessings of "Love", "Friendship", and "Family".
    I am pained, but I am blessed, and though I'm unsure as to which I'd rather be, I must accept both and move forward, for dwelling in the past is the first step in the path to the corruption, the twisting of the sould, that caused all that's happened.
    Sincerely,
Lance Park

I don't want it to be easy, I want it to be right.

B E C K

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« Reply #1 on: Dec 21, 2006, 03:13:21 AM »
I'm confused, who are you mad at?  Your father?

Wickedly Yours E

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« Reply #2 on: Dec 21, 2006, 08:53:22 AM »
-_- Relatives like The Aunt in Question. Eeesh.

I don't want it to be easy, I want it to be right.

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« Reply #3 on: Dec 21, 2006, 02:09:43 PM »
I remember you disliking your aunt, but I didn't see any direct mention of her up there.  You couldn't have thrown in a "my aunt, the bitch" for those of us not up to speed on the Park Family Drama?

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« Reply #4 on: Dec 21, 2006, 02:22:51 PM »
I like the blanket statement.

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« Reply #5 on: Dec 21, 2006, 02:51:41 PM »
Aunt Park?

Rama

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« Reply #6 on: Dec 21, 2006, 11:01:59 PM »
You mean you havn't been keeping up with CBS's new hit sitcom..."The Parks"?  

Wickedly Yours E

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« Reply #7 on: Dec 21, 2006, 11:48:25 PM »
You suck Rama.

I don't want it to be easy, I want it to be right.

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« Reply #8 on: Dec 22, 2006, 12:11:42 AM »
This thread illustrates why blogs were invented.

Quote
I believe Redemption to be a concept propagated by people who seek forgiveness through action rather than understanding what was committed was wrong, yet even if I did hold value in this ideal, the relative in question can not, will never, be redeemable in anyone's eyes.
Redemption results from forgiveness on the part of the offended and repentence on the part of the offender.  But while repentance is up to the other person, you have a responsibility to that person (like 'em or not) as well as to yourself to forgive.  Otherwise it eats at your soul like a cancer...so, if not for them, do it for yourself. It's apparent from your post that this is what's happened to you.

Quote
I've lost my ideology: "family" does not come first, "blood" is not thicker than water.
Family remains a primal relationship, and that's precisely why it hurts so badly and why it's important to do your part in forgiving the wrong. The old saying, "you can pick your friends but not your family," is true, but you can choose with whom you spend your time and energies.

Quote
Yet, in this loss, I gain a new religion, a new ideology based on the ashes of the old; Family is what you make it.
Out of curiousity, what was your old religion?  Because if you change what's important to you based on how you and yours are treated, you're certainly going to be disappointed again in the future, and probably sooner than you imagine.
Political Correctness is a doctrine, fostered by a delusional, illogical, liberal minority and rabidly promoted by an unscrupulous mainstream media, which holds forth the proposition that it is entirely possible to pick up a turd by the clean end.

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« Reply #9 on: Dec 22, 2006, 12:15:06 AM »
Quote
You suck Rama.
I try.  

B E C K

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« Reply #10 on: Dec 22, 2006, 01:26:03 AM »
Quote
This thread illustrates why blogs were invented.
But E's cool, he can totally vent here.  Not like Doug and his "Dear Diary, I saw another really hot nine-year-old today."

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« Reply #11 on: Dec 22, 2006, 05:44:02 AM »
Quote
This thread illustrates why blogs were invented.
 
 :lol:  :lol:  snaapP!

I'll never forget when E said that IIIIIII, IIIIIIIII was always complaining about shit here. Yeah sure, when have I ever complained about my life.

Wickedly Yours E

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« Reply #12 on: Dec 22, 2006, 09:16:14 AM »
I am incapable of forgiveness right now, But I'm working on it.

I don't want it to be easy, I want it to be right.

Derrick

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« Reply #13 on: Dec 23, 2006, 08:00:02 PM »
It will get better.
I said its hot outside let me go swimming in your eyes;
We been running for awhile. Why don't you lay dow, I'll make you smile.
I could never ask for nothing better than this;
It's just tequila and the beach, it's quite salty when we kiss.

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« Reply #14 on: Dec 23, 2006, 08:37:58 PM »
Once can only hope.
PS: Faye, Shoosh.
« Last Edit: Dec 23, 2006, 08:39:35 PM by Wickedly Yours E »

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« Reply #15 on: Dec 24, 2006, 03:39:03 AM »
Quote
Quote
This thread illustrates why blogs were invented.
 
:lol:  :lol:  snaapP!

I'll never forget when E said that IIIIIII, IIIIIIIII was always complaining about shit here. Yeah sure, when have I ever complained about my life.
shut yuo and post your clit ring!

Faye Valentine

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« Reply #16 on: Dec 24, 2006, 10:49:11 AM »
I would never EVER pierce my clit! it's the hood. fuck.

edit: Anyways, drunk IDE, i don't think E would appreciate you changing his topic to hoohahs
« Last Edit: Dec 24, 2006, 10:49:52 AM by Faye Valentine »

Derrick

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« Reply #17 on: Dec 24, 2006, 12:24:07 PM »
I spend a good deal of my day keeping sharp things away from my genitals.
I said its hot outside let me go swimming in your eyes;
We been running for awhile. Why don't you lay dow, I'll make you smile.
I could never ask for nothing better than this;
It's just tequila and the beach, it's quite salty when we kiss.

IDE

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« Reply #18 on: Dec 24, 2006, 02:14:03 PM »
E is faye right? Do you not want your topic changed to hoohahs?  I always thought that hoohahs were the icecream of topic derailment i.e. everyone loves it and is ready to have a party with it at a moments notice.

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« Reply #19 on: Dec 24, 2006, 05:53:43 PM »
Quote
E is faye right? Do you not want your topic changed to hoohahs?  I always thought that hoohahs were the icecream of topic derailment i.e. everyone loves it and is ready to have a party with it at a moments notice.
I am offended by that allegation, sir.

I don't want it to be easy, I want it to be right.

IDE

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« Reply #20 on: Dec 24, 2006, 10:54:40 PM »
see! he's offended by the mere thought that someone would think he didn't want his topic changed to hoohas.

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« Reply #21 on: Dec 25, 2006, 11:11:09 AM »
No, I'm offended that you assume I am Faye. That's a killin' offense right there, Mr. Alcohol-Blood-Content-of-.25!

I don't want it to be easy, I want it to be right.

Faye Valentine

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« Reply #22 on: Dec 25, 2006, 06:02:13 PM »
IDE doesn't know that comas exist. He meant "E, is Faye right?"


Wtf you wish you were me, I'm hot and with a rocking ass

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« Reply #23 on: Dec 25, 2006, 08:15:22 PM »
Quote
IDE doesn't know that comas exist. He meant "E, is Faye right?"


Wtf you wish you were me, I'm hot and with a rocking ass
Cept I'd be a lesbian. Cause, yanno, Me no likey the wang.

I don't want it to be easy, I want it to be right.

Faye Valentine

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« Reply #24 on: Dec 25, 2006, 08:35:25 PM »
Don't knock it till you've tried it!

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« Reply #25 on: Dec 26, 2006, 02:31:30 AM »
In the ass, of course.

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IDE doesn't know that comas exist. He meant "E, is Faye right?"
Being that he's drunk so often, I'm sure he's aware that comas exist.  He's probably in a comatose state on a regular basis.
Political Correctness is a doctrine, fostered by a delusional, illogical, liberal minority and rabidly promoted by an unscrupulous mainstream media, which holds forth the proposition that it is entirely possible to pick up a turd by the clean end.

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« Reply #26 on: Dec 26, 2006, 03:04:20 PM »
Faye loses this round!
And I'd bet donuts to dollars IDE's drunk RIGHT NOW!

I don't want it to be easy, I want it to be right.

IDE

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« Reply #27 on: Dec 27, 2006, 01:00:35 AM »
I hope those we're cheap gas station donuts because I've been sober all day.  The girl I was supposed to hang with had a girl's night going away party for her friends going to columbia. But tommorow I shall be wasted (and balls deep inside of her if all goes well).

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« Reply #28 on: Dec 27, 2006, 05:49:53 AM »
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In the ass, of course.

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IDE doesn't know that comas exist. He meant "E, is Faye right?"
Being that he's drunk so often, I'm sure he's aware that comas exist.  He's probably in a comatose state on a regular basis.
Would you say he was "comma-tose"?  Hyuck, that's a Jumble right there!

Faye Valentine

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« Reply #29 on: Dec 27, 2006, 05:53:44 AM »
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Faye loses this round!
 
cut me Nick, cut me Nickk