The Sphere
General Garbage => Tropical Paradise of Hard Shelled Fruits => Topic started by: IDE on Oct 04, 2009, 01:43:04 AM
-
well soon to be anyway.
She texted me that she wants to take a break, but I who have walked this road so many times know there is no such thing as taking a break. It's a mechanism we use to slowly get used to being single instead of it happening all at once.
Supposedly we're going to talk tonight. I think am going to surprise her by breaking it off right then.
I don't know whats wrong with me. It's like once the chase is over I become complacent and uncaring. But at the same time I want to have someone special. All of this womanizing has shattered my psyche seemingly irreparable. Oh well I have no one to blame but me. I think I'm starting to understand why vampires go mad as they trudge on through eternity.
-
Well you could always make another of yourself and then jump into the pyre.
-
Which one was this one again?
-
A 20 yr old I met while working at universal studios.
/starts laying wood for the pyre
-
Was that the virgin or was she someone else?
-
well soon to be anyway.
She texted me that she wants to take a break, but I who have walked this road so many times know there is no such thing as taking a break. It's a mechanism we use to slowly get used to being single instead of it happening all at once.
Supposedly we're going to talk tonight. I think am going to surprise her by breaking it off right then.
I don't know whats wrong with me. It's like once the chase is over I become complacent and uncaring. But at the same time I want to have someone special. All of this womanizing has shattered my psyche seemingly irreparable. Oh well I have no one to blame but me. I think I'm starting to understand why vampires go mad as they trudge on through eternity.
Is that whole paragraph a direct quote from Sex and the City? Carrie?
-
Back on the prowl...blah blah blah
-
Was that the virgin or was she someone else?
Yep, that's the one.
-
:rawr:
-
I'm single now, too. Blah.
-
Atleast you're not in a Junior Senior music video.
-
I'm also not single. That post was pointless.
-
Relationships are for the bland and compromising.
I'm currently being set up with a 25 year old stripper/mother of 2.
Go figure, I have no idea how this will turn out.
-
...
*fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap*
AH!
Good for you! I hope it leads to romance.
-
What he said.
-
I'm single now, too. Blah.
I'm also not single. That post was pointless.
Dude, what? :lol:
-
It happened quickly. My post here was made too soon.
-
An off again, on again type thing.
-
First time we've done that. I don't intend to make of the norm.
-
We're sort of back on maybe, I should've gone with the clean break strategy.
-
Or your creampie surprise! :guitar:
-
already did that
-
Maybe you and Fiero should swap so you can be even more damn confusing.
-
Naw.
-
Hook up with each other then. Here's a coin to flip for the bottom.
-
Uh . . .
-
If you want bottom just say so.
-
so.
-
Try shrimpin' her freckle, if the woman doesn't let you do that she isn't worth it.
-
Dude, what? (http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=shrimpin&defid=522105)
-
You heard me and I stand by it. Love is anal reabsorption.
-
With a straw?
-
Well, yeah. It's dirty down there.
-
I'm just wondering why the first person to try this had a straw next to the bed.
-
Maybe it was in the kitchen?
-
Or in the back row of a Movie Theater.
-
Or at the Sonic Drive-In.
-
It probably looked more appetizing than their food.
-
Nuri please delete this thread? its like an episode of Desperate Housewives here. Too much for my weak heart
-
Delete? What is a delete?
-
They shrimp on that show?
ABC is desperate for ratings when Lost isn't part of their weekly schedule.
-
They shrimp on that show?
Seconded. Bwah? Maybe behind the scenes on Extreme Makeover: Home Edition they do. I'd believe that.
-
You bring it upon yourself dude. You have used women for so long you have no idea of what it means to be committed to one. Go get some counseling.
-
Wow. Merla has quite an opinion right there.
-
IDE's initial post evokes for me an image of Arnold-Conan sitting in darkness on his throne. Why be that? And why the hell can't I find a decent screencap of that? Is everyone else too lazy to grab one off the DVD like I am?
-
I've never actually watched the Conan movies.
-
IDE's initial post evokes for me an image of Arnold-Conan sitting in darkness on his throne. Why be that? And why the hell can't I find a decent screencap of that? Is everyone else too lazy to grab one off the DVD like I am?
Not that lazy yet.
-
That doesn't look like Arnold.
-
It looks like Triple H, who should be Thor in the Thor movies except he can't really act.
-
Ick to that idea.
Ick.
-
He could do it if Thor never spoke and just kicked ass, which fits mythical Thor. The Marvel movie is looking eh to me now since they ditched the idea to set it in the fantasy time and end it with him coming into the modern world.
-
That doesn't look like Arnold.
I could've sworn there was a better one than that. Oh, well.
He could do it if Thor never spoke and just kicked ass, which fits mythical Thor. The Marvel movie is looking eh to me now since they ditched the idea to set it in the fantasy time and end it with him coming into the modern world.
Granted, I don't follow Thor in the least, but a fantasy world thing interests me. Modern world, eh. Here we go, pop culture references, product placement, young/hip/trendy supporting cast. Boo. Nuke it all.
-
Appears to be sans beard in Destroyer. (I think I was picturing this one.)
-
Yeah I picture myself like that a lot too these days.
Counseling is a load of shit. What is done cannot be undone.
I went over there and put the meat sword to her last night. No one will be hearing anymore lamentations from her.
That's how I do counseling.
-
When you accept your true self, you'll be happier. LA will get you eventually. :D
-
I went over there and put the meat sword to her last night.
Who?
Merla?
What?
-
IDE and Merla. So all that hate was just built up sexual tension. Go figure.
-
Wait.
What?
-
Hmm, maybe IDE isn't gay.
-
Do I risk Merla disliking me more by saying "Maybe Merla's a guy."? Hmmmm...I will think on this.
-
I don't think it's possible for her to dislike you any more than she does already. I may be wrong, though.
-
She's just a man-hater.
She doesn't even like me and I'm charming as hell.
:joe:
-
She likes me, I think. Who doesn't like me?
-
I don't think it's possible for her to dislike you any more than she does already. I may be wrong, though.
Well whatever her problem is it's her problem. I don't dislike her, in fact I kinda like her and don't tend to hold things she says or does against her in the long term. If her panties are in a bunch and projecting hate at me that's her issue to work out. But I'm not coming down to that level.
Now I understand hating Joe. He's Canadian. Everyone should hate him.
-
Well... Canada sucks. Canadians are just awful. They don't contribute anything but free medication for our old people too cheap to sign up for medicaid.
-
Joe knows I love him in my own twisted way. He comes in and insults me and I tell him off. That's just the way it is. I don't hate anyone here. There is one person I don't care much for but I feel no need to mention names. It isn't IDE or Rama BTW. Not sure why Rama is talking about my underwear; I think he's confused.
I don't know why people debunk counseling. I find it really helps to talk to someone who doesn't know you about your troubles. I understand though that it might not be for everyone.
-
I'll mention names. It's Doug.
I think he's confused.
Sexually confused.
I don't know why people debunk counseling. I find it really helps to talk to someone who doesn't know you about your troubles. I understand though that it might not be for everyone.
Maybe it depends on the counselor, too. I've had a few in the past and they were total shitheads who didn't give a flying fuck about my "troubles". (Heh, that sounds Irish.)
-
I'll mention names. It's Doug.
Oh thank God. The paranoid-vain side of me thought it was me. I wondered why it was me, considering all I did was set her up with that guy I knew, Bernie Madoff. I wonder how he's doing now, anyways. He tried to get me to invest in his company, but I never put it to much reason.
-
Everyone knew it was Doug. As much as she dislikes me, even I know I am not on Doug level.
I have met some people in my last ten years on the net that I do hate, but none post here. It takes a lot to invoke the wrath of Rama.
and for the record I talk about panties constantly. Is it normal? Maybe not, but it's a lot more normal then liking being pissed/shit/vomited on or dressing up like animals. So it could be worse.
-
You could be Jewish.
-
No...No...Couldn't be.
But it wouldn't hurt if you visited once in awhile you know. What are you ashamed for your poor old mother. You never come over for passover anymore.
-
IT'S NOT PASSOVER, IT'S PURIM! GOD! This is why I married a Shiksa.
-
She isn't Jewish!!!!! You are breakin' your Mother's heart!!!
-
SHE'S ALSO CATHOLIC! I AM QUITTING LAW SCHOOL AND BECOMING A POLICE OFFICER!
-
*Faints*
-
but it's a lot more normal then liking being pissed/shit/vomited on or dressing up like animals. So it could be worse.
Then what's the deal with the soiled koala suit in your closet?
-
It matches my Dingo costume. We're starting up a kids band based on Austrailian animals and folk songs. We were going to use the profits to pay for your birthday present. Now you ruined our surprise.
-
Indeed. It was going to a wicked awesome present too.
-
[CRAZYJACO]BUT WHY WAS IT SOILED?![/CRAZY JACO]
-
Because I played three sets in a row without a bathroom break just to make sure your present was extra special.
-
Now it's all ruined. I'd give the present to charity, but then poor people would just expect more from life. We can't have that.
-
I demand present! Present now!
-
The knowledge that the Patriots scored 59 unanswered points against the Tennessee Titans do anything for ya?
-
I think we should take it back and return it for cash and then just blow it all.
-
The knowledge that the Patriots scored 59 unanswered points against the Tennessee Titans do anything for ya?
I think I tingled a little. Or it could just be cancer. :blink:
-
I would definately get that checked out. October is 'watch your boobs for fatal cancerous growths' month.
-
Oh I took it vaginal tingle. I didn't know boobs could tingle.
-
I think we should take it back and return it for cash and then just blow it all.
I've got a feeling OOHH OOHH that tonight's gonna be a good night . . .
-
Oh I took it vaginal tingle. I didn't know boobs could tingle.
I've made Kary's boobs tingle.
-
Well I know you can like run your finger around the areola and then just give it a little pinch and then the nipple just stand up so and you can flick it with your tongue...
Oh now I feel a tingle.
-
Guys, it could be her vagina. You can get cancer like, anywhere, right?
-
Well I know you can like run your finger around the areola and then just give it a little pinch and then the nipple just stand up so and you can flick it with your tongue...
Oh now I feel a tingle.
I'm so fucking good I should charge.
-
Guys, it could be her vagina. You can get cancer like, anywhere, right?
I was talking about the vagoo. Only Fiero passes.
-
Wait. Is that a pass into the v . . . nah, nevermind.
-
Fag. Go to fire island and shave your asshole, because if you get a pass and you can, THEN DO IT!!!!!!
-
Guys, it could be her vagina. You can get cancer like, anywhere, right?
I was talking about the vagoo. Only Fiero passes.
Wait one min...I said it was Vaginal first. You are very bad Professor. :finger:
-
But she gave me the pass. And I will use it as I please.
-
Well...you enjoy that then.
-
I might. Or maybe not.
-
Go buy a condo for yourself and your 'life partner' if you're not going to use it. If so, man up and dish later.
-
I don't know if it's a real pass or one of those for fun passes.
-
I think we should take it back and return it for cash and then just blow it all.
I've got a feeling OOHH OOHH that tonight's gonna be a good night . . .
wooooo hoooooooooooooooo
Anyways we're broken up again. It appears my penis can only hold a relationship together as long it's actually inside of the girl. And then how would I go to work?
Things ended on a bad note in person so I'm going to write her a goodbye letter since I was her first I think she deserves some special attention even if I'm pissed about the whole thing. But I've already started to let it go.
Unfortunately we have to share the same break area at work...or at least we do I want to get off at 12:30 instead of 3am. And damn I just love getting off at 12:30 but seeing her down there with other guys talking to her kind of gets me down.
All of this ends as soon as I nail another chick though.
-
I don't know if it's a real pass or one of those for fun passes.
Of course it's a fun pass.
-
But is it a real fun pass?
-
Depends on if ya like it.
-
hmm, I think I probably do. When is Nuri gonna comment on this, anyway?
-
Getting anxious to know if you really got a fun pass are you?
-
Eh.
-
When did IDE turn into such a sissy? Last thing I remember (months ago) was him acting like a casanova that didn't believe in commitment and now he's here acting like a high school biatch.
This is more of a doug-thread.
-
Well I have my theories.
-
I think it had something to do with all the Whos down in Whoville singing.
-
Too early for that reference. I haven't even entered a Turkey coma this year.
-
I'm trying to shake this chick out of my mind, but it's not that easy for some reason.
And I never said I was against commitment. I think I actually have feelings for a lot of the girls I bang out more than once. My soul is constantly being ground to a pulp between love and lust.
-
You're like Matthew McConnahay (sp?) in that movie... Tropic Thunder.
-
I know some of you don't believe in god or anything but riding home from the movies tonight I had an epiphany. I had become complacent with this chick. She seemed like everything I wanted, but deep down I know I didn't come out here to date her, or at least not yet.
I came out here to follow my dream and that singular purpose had been put aside for a moment while I was off on a tangent, a wonderful tangent but a tangent none the less (for now).
She has snapped me out of that, but at the cost of her. She was the sacrificial virgin.
This was all meant to be and I've seen it in a vision.
Either a vision or I should really start paying more attention to the "use by" dates on packs of raw chicken.
-
So... you cut out her heart and ate it? No wonder she doesn't like you.
-
Wait. Is that a pass into the v . . . nah, nevermind.
It's like reverse birth. Once inside, you'll dissolve and be absorbed into my blood stream so I may have enough ki to do Kaio Ken x3.
It took seven posts for someone to comment on IDE's. Pretty cold. :poo:
-
We're more interested in your vagoo.
-
Yes, yes, I am as well.
-
It's good to chell it, since vagoo cancer kills women because they won't look.
-
I will never type Check on this website again.
-
So she messaged me today saying she's seen all these pictures of me on INTERNET partying my ass off around LA. And she wants to know where "The Legend" (her own words) was when we were dating? I think I was so enamored with her cuteness that I forgot to show her who the fuck she was dealing with. It was like when zeus would turn himself into a zephyr mist and fly into a chick's vag and just post up there for awhile.
But now...NOW SHE HAS SEEN THE LORD OF THUNDER IN ALL HIS GLORY! THE CELEBRATIONS THAT RING WITH HERALDIC FURY AS I SLING HOOTERS GIRLS INTO THE AIR LIKE SMALL CHILDREN! FOR I AM THE SPANKER OF MODELS AND THE BANGER OF TEACHERS! LO! BE WARY LEST THE INNOCENCE OF YOUR DAUGHTERS BE LAID WASTE IN MY TEMPLE!
For now and for all eternity I remain...
IDE
-
So what does that mean for your relationship?
-
It means she only wants him to take her out and party and doesn't really give a crap about him. At least that's what I gathered from that.
-
Well she basically feels ripped off because I wasn't being that way around her and her friends. It's like she was dating clark kent the whole time only to find out he's superman after they break up. So now that she knows I'm gonna tell her that if she wants me to fly her around metropolis someday, I'm totally down for that.
-
And what if she actually wants to fly around a fictional city?
-
Then she should enter a fantasy world and grow a penis.
Futanari is hawt.
-
NOW SHE HAS SEEN THE LORD OF THUNDER IN ALL HIS GLORY!
I always wanted to play that game (http://hardcoregaming101.net/lordsofthunder/lordsofthunder.htm).
-
It doesn't matter if she comes back or not anymore...
I fucked a virgin and that's what counts. I feel my regenerative powers mending the chinks in the armor around my heart as sure as my new improved 6 pack abs are glistening in the bathroom mirror. No one solos me! I'm a 25 bitch raid boss.
Love is dead long live debauchery.
-
Wouldn't it be awesome if you found love as an old, old man and then died the next day?
Well, okay, no, not really.
-
It would be an epic tragedy.
But I would die by channeling my list bit of god essence into my frail 842 year old form to go super sayain one last time and save my love from shark demons.
-
...Shark Demons?
-
The antithesis of the Whale Angels, apparently.
-
My religion doesn't accept the existence of Shark Demons.
-
Well you tell that to the shark demon while it's devouring your soul and see if it stops.
-
So I've got 4-5 girls numbers now. Soon I'll be up in the teens again just like the good ole days.
Still have to write my reply to ex virgin. I think I'll do that today after this audition.
-
No, you won't.
-
Yeah, he'll cry and complain.
Want some fig newtons?
-
Yes! They're delicious!!
-
I miss the apple ones.
-
Well I sent the letter and the best part is I don't care if she replies or not.
What's this complain crap?
I just cry.
-
Baww some more.
-
I miss the apple ones.
APPLE FIG NEWTONS? HOW DID I MISS THIS?
-
They were amazing, too. Now all I see are shitty strawberry.
-
gtfo of my self pity thread with your fig newton faggotry.
And fig flavored fig newtons suck.
-
You're drunk aren't you?
-
I would think.
-
The fig ones are the only ones I've had. This is because the only people I know who buy them are old people. Not that they taste bad or anything, but I think they would leave the package open and let them go stale.
-
I enjoy figs, so I buy them.
-
I didn't even know what a fig was before Fig Newtons.
-
They're delicious by themselves, but hard to find.
-
I don't give a fig.
-
Fig you.
-
This thread is now about me biting girls asses in public.
-
this thread is about IDE being a forty-something year old desperate guy. GOGOGOGOGOGOGO
-
You forgot about his closeted homosexuality.
-
This thread is about how 10 bux says I'm better looking than the guy who knocked up faye.
-
Might as well say I look like a marmot or something. You can't even see my face in that picture :/
-
This thread is about how 10 bux says I'm better looking than the guy who knocked up faye.
Does she even know the father? I hear Maury can lock it to down to a percentage in the high 90s.
-
I wish we could some how combine all the IDE bragging/bashing to one thread to make it more efficient.
And by "more efficient" I mean I wouldn't have to read either of them.
-
Is that chick wearing a soccer-mom visor? What the fig.
-
It's like D with more sex-claims.
-
This thread is about how 10 bux says I'm better looking than the guy who knocked up faye.
No fucking WAY. You look like you are at least 40, bro. And not a good 40. More like a "shit. his life is going downhill now" 40. Like Jon Gosselin 40. Like Lindsay Lohan's dad 40. that 40. 40.
-
four tah
-
This thread is about how 10 bux says I'm better looking than the guy who knocked up faye.
No fucking WAY. You look like you are at least 40, bro. And not a good 40. More like a "shit. his life is going downhill now" 40. Like Jon Gosselin 40. Like Lindsay Lohan's dad 40. that 40. 40.
You're saying you like 'em young. Like Doug, I'd reckon.
-
Noooooooo way. I think men are attractive in all ages, but there are also ugly ones . Like that guy from the 2 Equis Commercial, the "most interesting guy on Earth", I think he's hawt. And he's like what, 70? Then again I don't think I would want to see him naked :X
-
He probably wouldn't want to be naked, just tell him to keep the clothes on and whip his hog out.
Milfs are looking hotter to me by the year, even up to 50-ish. I just downloaded a pr0n called 'fuck me and my mom' and I'd take both, preferably at the same time. I wish Polygamy was legal.
-
Noooooooo way. I think men are attractive in all ages, but there are also ugly ones . Like that guy from the 2 Equis Commercial, the "most interesting guy on Earth", I think he's hawt. And he's like what, 70? Then again I don't think I would want to see him naked :X
Ha ha, you don't want to see his Uno Equi.
-
He has an X-Shaped cock? Damn third-world birth defects.
-
I thought the cock was straight but at an angle with one ball was way lower and the other way higher, making it look like an... equi. Hmm? HMMM?
-
I don't know what you just said.
-
You just ruined my fantasy favorite beer, as I don't drink beer but that guy made me imagine that if I did it would be Dos Equis.
-
You should still pretend drink it, its pretty imaginary good.
-
I had some at a Halloween party. Was very smooth.
-
Wait....Equis's guys cock or the beer?
-
Does it really matter?
-
He has an X-Shaped cock? Damn third-world birth defects.
I thought he was american?
-
He's Mexican.
-
He's definitely some kind of non-Caucasian.
-
You guys know that American and Mexican aren't races right?
-
Races were outdated concepts developed in the 19th century, where people still used heroin to cure a headache.
-
Sure makes my headache go away.
-
I feel cold.
-
He's definitely some kind of non-Caucasian.
I really thought he was white (thanks for the correction Rama), but he had a mean tan. I still believe he's white yo
-
Yea going back to relationships, I'm still in love with the Rebekah that lives in PA. I am now planning to go stay with her next year around May.
I've tried to not think about her and delete her and move on but it wasn't happening. She is probably the one for me.
-
Videos, please. :D
-
Yeah...usually if you have to "try" to forget someone then you never will.
I really thought he was white (thanks for the correction Rama)
It's why I punch every Amish that calls me "English" square in the face.
-
Videos please.
-
Seconded.
-
Their Amish...it would be against their Religion to film it.
Oh...still talking to Gwynn.
-
No, I wanted the Amish punching.
-
Rama's fist gone wild?
-
Hawt.
-
Sexually.
-
But not above the ankle.
-
What would Allah say?!
-
Beware with those amish, they don't like to wear deodorant
-
Deodorant and fragrance in general is a very modern idea.
-
And a good idea.
-
Granted.
-
Especially given Axe, that stuff transforms everything.
-
I don't believe that for a moment.
-
Beware with those amish, they don't like to wear deodorant
Apparently, Korean people don't either.*
[*As referenced from the website of a teaching abroad program in Korea that advises the packing of plenty of deodorant because it's "hard to find" there.]
-
Well Asians have no body hair, thus bacteria have less places to lurk. They do have a different smell though if you're not used to it.
-
Like ramen mixed with ass.
-
Like ramen mixed with ass.
Ha ha, I read that "Rama". :lmao:
-
It still works with the substitution.
-
So I smell "Asian" minus the ass now? '___'
-
That's a bad thing?
-
I guess not. But every time I smell myself I want Sweet and Sour Chicken. And then 30 mins later I just want to smell myself again.
-
That would drive me insane.
-
Yep
-
Just go smell your armpit and knock yourself out for an hour.
-
They aren't made of Turkey.
Does Chinese food make you tired? Cause it's never done that to me.
-
It could be because of the carbo-load it delivers, though I always eat the chicken or beef dishes which usually contain no noodles or rice.
Thai rice dishes, however, are fucking delicious and should be served everywhere.
-
Maybe it's the rice as I don't normally have rice. (I know...with Chinese food it's hard to avoid). Don't dislike rice, I just don't like it either. It's just kinda there.
-
I just ate rice and black beans for lunch. Perhaps the best new snack I've discovered are the brown rice-cr0n chips.
-
I love rice. If it were legal, I would've married rice a long time ago.
Maybe it's the rice as I don't normally have rice. (I know...with Chinese food it's hard to avoid).
So do you eat noodles or veggies or do you do what I think you do and just scarf up all the meat?
-
Rice > Udon Noodles > Egg Noodles > Italian Pasta > Rice pasta.
I love beef and brocoli, or a nice curry.
-
Noddles sometimes. Depends on what they put on it.
-
Noddles sometimes. Depends on what they put on it.
:o http://www.thefreedictionary.com/noddles
-
So I eat human brains...is that a crime?
-
Can't say but by eating brains you run the risk of catching transmissible spongiform encephalopathy, a fatal neurodegenerative disease.
-
I'll keep that in mind next I'm bone sawing someones noggin.
-
(http://www.rabbitinasuit.com/emoticons/R-T/thumbsup.gif)
-
So I eat human brains...is that a crime?
...
*blows off Rama's head with a shotgun* FUCKING ZOMBIE-KILLER FREAKS! EVERYONE IN THE BASEMENT!
-
Bu bu but you moved my office to the basemnet . . .no no body touch my red stapler
-
Get a flame thrower, we're gonna toast some marshmellows.
-
I have no idea what you plebes are riffing on at this point, but let it be known that I got her back! We were full on making out in border's bookstore!
Just like World of Warcraft I can not be quit! You will always be back for the next expansion...in my pants.
-
Oh man, I hope your shit goes limp from now until your seventy. Just so it's not talked about on here.
-
Not a chance my friend. Long after I'm gone my penis will roam the galaxy attached to a cyborg body (like krang). And said body will be posting here about said penis's conquests of alien poon.
-
Maybe by then you'll finally end up banned. You're like Tom before we finally got him to (partially) shut up.
-
And said body will be posting here about said penis's conquests of alien poon.
A Sarlacc?
-
Gives new meaning to sarlacc pit.
-
Hotdog down a hallway?
-
Maybe by then you'll finally end up banned. You're like Tom before we finally got him to (partially) shut up.
Partially? I never partially did anything!
-
Hotdog down a hallway?
I know...that is a HUGE hallway.
-
WAIT
Derrick is Tom?
-
I killed Tom and now I wear his skin.
-
I did not know these things. I was expecting someone to give me an update when I started back, but I guess I can't expect something when I ask for nothing.
-
Nothing is all you get.
-
Don't worry, it's not anything anyone needs to know either way. :D
-
Huh? Sorry, I was checking my mail. Someone in Africa has a million dollars for me.
-
ur rich nao
-
I sent a chell for 5,000 to Akimbe Otumbo Barrister esq. In 2-3 weeks I will be richer than all of you plebians. HAHAHA!
-
Don't forget about us! Don't forget!!
-
I'd rather not talk about this.
-
I want my cut, bitch!
-
Oh, I'll cut you.
-
Without the breaking of a brown glass beer bottle on a brass bar rail that threat is far less effective.
-
Bitch, you know I pack a lightsaber.
-
hurf durf
-
IT IS DONE!
AS OF APPROXIMATELY 11PM on 1/10/10 I HAVE RECONQUERED HER VAGINAL FORTRESS!
IT'S BEEN A LONG STRANGE TRIP AND I'VE ALIENATED SOME OF YOU BUT IT WAS ALL WORTH IT IN THE END.
I WANT TO THANK ODIN AND MY ANCESTORS FOR MAKING THIS POSSIBLE!
-
:P
-
ANNNNNNNNNNNND....We're broken up again!
The point is I got her back even if it was only for a time.
A testament to my powers of persuasion and god tier penis.
Only earth and sky last forever.
-
Maybe you suck at relations but are okay in bed?
-
I thought that was already established.
Only earth and sky last forever.
At least until the comet comes.
-
2nd korean
The Japanese and Chinese
Elude me once more
(damn that was a shitty haiku, did I even get the syllables right? Guess I'll find out in 4 months or so)
-
Fuck your haiku.
-
It was correct though. But srsly, shouldn't you just be pming these to D now?
-
No.
Also, I'm this close to beating world of warcraft (i.e. meeting a hot chick from the game and raiding The Cavern of Vag'Na). If I do this then I can opt out of the upcoming expansion.
-
You would think you would want the expansion BEFORE raiding the cavern, otherwise you might disappoint.
-
Also, I'm this close to beating world of warcraft (i.e. meeting a hot chick from the game and raiding The Cavern of Vag'Na). If I do this then I can opt out of the upcoming expansion.
You would think you would want the expansion BEFORE raiding the cavern, otherwise you might disappoint.
:raiseeyebrow:
-
I'm officially farting in this thread so IDE can come in and smell it one month later.
-
Oh you had Wendy's. I remember that.
-
Nasty Wendy's fart. Gross.
-
Better than the cum bubbles blown by others.
-
For some reason when I (unfortunately) read his post about meeting someone from WOW, this image came to my mind:
(argh i had to resize it. no more high res guys)
-
Not sure if want.
-
Not sure if want.
What about now?
-
Gimme that filet of fish. Gimme that fish.
-
Wow...well if you like her that much, this is for your viewing pleasure:
She starts dancing around 4:00
-
All of those hairless azns are making me flustered.
-
Why is she dressed that way?
-
She's cosplaying this: http://www.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http://www.e-life.youthinks.com/picture/airgear/airgear_ringo_1.jpg&imgrefurl=http://www.cosplay.com/marketplace/showproduct.php/product/12064/cpage/3&usg=__PGZo2EDqzvnhIqAVmwjl9Z97494=&h=804&w=518&sz=62&hl=en&start=20&zoom=1&tbnid=G07bvEZSh8QAZM:&tbnh=153&tbnw=99&prev=/images%3Fq%3Dringo%2Bcosplay%26hl%3Den%26biw%3D1260%26bih%3D615%26gbv%3D2%26tbs%3Disch:10%2C501&itbs=1&ei=jFa2TLSYDIyKvgPzgoGTCQ&iact=rc&dur=317&oei=g1a2TKOSG4msvgPcktiTCQ&esq=4&page=2&ndsp=23&ved=1t:429,r:6,s:20&tx=15&ty=41&biw=1260&bih=615
-
She does not have the tits for it.
-
She does not have ANYTHING for it
-
That's kinda what I expected Lola to look like from the "Kinks" song.
-
Oh you had Wendy's. I remember that.
Impossible since I've been boycotting Wendy's for about a year now. That's right, I refuse to forgive the Peltz family about the Last Airbender and if that means taking it out on their nuggets and frosties, so be it!
-
She does not have ANYTHING for it
You know what annoys me most? She actually thought she could get away with tall black socks instead of getting the footwear right.
-
right! and she probably didn't shave either
-
She probably did but neglected the ass-hair.
-
You can't neglect the ass hair.
-
Ya know in the midst of all your unwarranted animosity I nearly forgot what drove you all mad to begin with! So without further ado I present this evening's exploits!
I just slammed out a 23 yr old after a long drawn out game of seduction that nearly ended with me not getting laid. I had her naked at one point and then she was like "AMG! This is only our 2nd date!" So all the clothes that I worked so hard to get off got put back on and I put my pants back on and we went back to watching the expendables. Then I used my "night parade of a 100 demons neck kiss jutsu" on her while working my hand into her pants. After some digit prestidigitation she was undoing her own belt and it was gg.
She exploded 3 times in less than 15 minutes and when it was over lay shaking like a wet kitten beside me. I haven't held a wet kitten in awhile but I remember their shivering to be legendary, but I digress...actually I do believe this story is over.
~fin~
-
Tempted to click X Remove.
-
Just skip the posts, like I do. Or I can remove it if you want. Although I think Nuri is a fan so she might get pissed -_-
-
No, I won't abuse my privileges just because he is a bastard.
-
Well, sure, seeing as you two are recognized as the arbiters of taste and gentility around here (http://www.shwiggie.com/boards/emoticons/spank.gif)
-
Hey, your nuts are showing so shut up your face.
-
Well, sure, seeing as you two are recognized as the arbiters of taste and gentility around here (http://www.shwiggie.com/boards/emoticons/spank.gif)
-
I don't think that image quite works with our endowed rodent friend here.
-
Hey, your nuts are showing so shut up your face.
LOL, win.
I'm not a fan of his sexploits either but I just try to save any Board Nazi-ism for special occassions. It's just text and you can skip it.
-
Can you at least change the title of the board to something elseeeee?
-
Like what? Suggest things.
-
Tropical Paradise of Hard Shelled Fruits
-
Hey, your nuts are showing so shut up your face.
Hey, Captain Obvious, they're not showing...note the brown paper bag.
I don't think that image quite works with our endowed rodent friend here.
Bingo. I think we're screaming headlong into our 11th year of this come November.
I'm not a fan of his sexploits either but I just try to save any Board Nazi-ism for special occassions. It's just text and you can skip it.
Real or fake, IDE's posts are hilarious.
-
Tropical Paradise of Hard Shelled Fruits
I like it.
-
Ohhh...I missed suggesting "Rama's Radical Fun Time Hour" again. Damn it.
-
Hey, Captain Obvious, they're not showing...note the brown paper bag.
First of all, Captain Obvious is not here right now.
Second, I thought those were your nuts and I was going to suggest you see a veterinarian.
-
Dude, that's a paper bag? And here I thought you got carried away shooping the squirrel dong.
-
Tropical Paradise of Hard Shelled Fruits
You had the choice of a lifetime and managed to get that lame name? NOOOOOOO
-
Dude, that's a paper bag? And here I thought you got carried away shooping the squirrel dong.
So much for modesty. Here's the larger version.
-
Well... sack lunches will never be the same for me again, that's for sure.
-
I just always though squirrel balls where square and made of low paper stock.
-
Tropical Paradise of Hard Shelled Fruits
You had the choice of a lifetime and managed to get that lame name? NOOOOOOO
You don't like hard shelled fruits? Pineapples are fucking tasty, friend.
-
They are but not when they are not mature enough. So THERE.
-
Same thing is true of humans, I hear.
-
She's just annoyed because fruit costs an arm and a leg in Nihon.
-
Well... sack lunches will never be the same for me again, that's for sure.
Come on, you know you're down for at least one noon-time teabagging.
I just always though squirrel balls where square and made of low paper stock.
Surely you saw enough of them back in the day.
-
Listen...whatever I did back in the day is behind me now. Stop calling.
-
Come on, you know you're down for at least one noon-time teabagging.
*shiver* :nurinono:
-
She's just annoyed because fruit costs an arm and a leg in Nihon.
Not really. But they do have expensive ones. Like you can find a melon for 5 bucks and then another melon for 50 bucks.
The things that are expensive are some vegetables. ONE lime costs more than 3 dollars. ONE. One stick of celery (not even a bunch, only one, as in ONE) is like 3.50. fuck it.
-
Wow, fuck a celery. Well, at least now we know why half the stuff there's made out of seaweed.
-
She's just annoyed because fruit costs an arm and a leg in Nihon.
Not really. But they do have expensive ones. Like you can find a melon for 5 bucks and then another melon for 50 bucks.
The things that are expensive are some vegetables. ONE lime costs more than 3 dollars. ONE. One stick of celery (not even a bunch, only one, as in ONE) is like 3.50. fuck it.
But I like lime on all kinds of shit? Fucking fuck do they sell lime juice at least?
-
Dude I know, I love ceviche, limeade etc. They sell the one in the bottle, but its bullshit.
-
Wow...well if you like her that much, this is for your viewing pleasure:
She starts dancing around 4:00
I just got around to reading this thread after a while, and I was about to just let this thread die like it should, until I read the comments for that video. I love how many people call the mostly naked asian chick "fat".
Manly? Maybe.
Whoreish? Maybe.
Fat? Um no.
Apparently these are all weaboo fags who have never gotten laid in their lives and think the only non-fat girls in the universe are under 100 pounds. I would certainly date a woman in her weight range and even higher. Nothing wrong with a girl with a little meat on her body.
I swear. The only people who complain about a woman with average body type as being "fat" are the ones who will either die virgins or hook up with some 400 pound land whale. And this coming from someone who lost his virginity to a big-boned, somewhat overweight woman.
-
Wow, fuck a celery.
Have you seen MacGruber? I'll never look at celery the same way.
-
Wow, fuck a celery.
Have you seen MacGruber? I'll never look at celery the same way.
ROFL
-
This thread, like he who made it, shall live on through eternity, bedding 18 yr old threads until the end of INTERNET.
-
Got stick a celery up your ass.
-
Shh! I'm hoping he won't notice.
-
He will once the buffalo sauce runs in... ::)
Better soothe it with some Ranch. 8)
-
What evil magic was invoked to raise this thread from the dead?
-
IDE bumped it, from what I understand.
-
I should have known.
Now I think I should go have myself checked out for STDs after reading this thread.
-
Too late. We all have AIDS. ALL of us. Even Bitey.
-
:vaderno:
-
Yes, I'm sad about Bitey, too.
-
What about Bad Ass Pac Man? Didn't he already have AIDs? What does that give him now Ultra Mega AIDs? Or does he now have so much AIDs that it cancel itself out and give him a Magic Johnson teir of super AIDs that gives him mad B-ball skillz?
-
Doesn't matter...BAPM will die alone.
-
I like to think that he dies like Big Mama did at the end of Soul Food. With one leg and diabeetus.
-
I like to think he chokes to death on a powet pellet and then the ghosts gang bang his lifeless body.
-
I see this, and I think this:
(http://bonr.shwiggie.com/index.php?action=dlattach;topic=1101.0;attach=4045;image)
-
huhuhuh
-
What about Bad Ass Pac Man? Didn't he already have AIDs? What does that give him now Ultra Mega AIDs? Or does he now have so much AIDs that it cancel itself out and give him a Magic Johnson teir of super AIDs that gives him mad B-ball skillz?
................... YES.
-
Being single is great.
I'm only talking to 3-4 chicks at a time now though (I peaked at...god I don't even know...what? 14? a few years ago).
Now I'm like that guy that used to be a superhero but is now a janitor, and some people look at him and think "Hey is that...nah couldn't be...looks like him though", before walking on.
But then, there's a close up of my eyes and we see them crackle with ELDRITCH MANWHORE ENERGY! before the screen snaps to black and the credits roll.
-
That's great, kid.
-
Thisdddf fucking gayu guiy is bullsahit. He can't be real. Fuacking fuck dis sky.
-
You said it, homes.
-
I just imagine him typing that while projectile vomit spews out. Spew. Spew. Spooie...
I wonder what ever happened to Spooie?
-
I have a radical idea how we can end this thread. The door swings both ways, we could reverse the particle flow through the gate. We'll cross the streams.
-
I can assure you I am real. The concept just short circuits your feeble-minded brain because of how much I'm WINNING. You're thinking "How can one man WIN that much? How can he be partying with movie stars and the champagne king of las vegas? WHERE ARE MY MOVIE STARS AND MY CHAMPAGNE KINGS!?".
Let me explain something to you...
I was born under the lost 13th sign. On dec whatever 2012 Orphicus will point his giant snake towards the galactic mother and fuck the dog shit out of her. I mean I'm gonna hit it so hard you're gonna hear that crisp movie punch sound effect with every stroke. THWAK! THWAK! THHHHHWAKKK! ad infinitum. The universe itself will collapse under the hammering of my star dong and reality will be unmade.
-
IDE is history's greatest author. One day the song "Der Kommisar" will be modified to reflect his story.
-
I just imagine him typing that while projectile vomit spews out. Spew. Spew. Spooie...
I wonder what ever happened to Spooie?
He popped up on AIM a few years ago. I rmember chatting with him about some inconsequential things.
-
You know, that reminds me, how's the weather?
-
We'll cross the streams.
You just want someone to stand next to you at a urinal.
Besides, crossing the streams is *bad*. You're gonna endanger us.
-
Not necessarily. There's definitely a very slim chance we'll survive.
-
I just imagine him typing that while projectile vomit spews out. Spew. Spew. Spooie...
I wonder what ever happened to Spooie?
He popped up on AIM a few years ago. I rmember chatting with him about some inconsequential things.
And I friended him on FB, like, last month. He's around.
-
Is his real name Spooie?
-
Surprisingly not.
-
Christopher something. Don't remember all of it.
-
Walken?
-
GOD DAMN! I STILL GOT IT!
21 YR OLD BITCHES ALL UP ONS! BYZANTINE!
Granted their not 18 anymore, but I'm not even sure where to find an 18 yr old outside of a college setting...
So basically what happened was it was my friends birthday and people were talking about me before I even got to the party (when I arrive there is a modicum of fanfare akin to when pro wrestlers walk to the ring). So I meet this chick and she's heard all these stories about me and we talk for a while and then...
<??????>
Apparently I was chugging a bottle of jack daniels, I awoke next to her on the couch (fully clothes, mores the pity) with a puke bucket over the edge of the couch (that had been used, mores the pity). I roll over and grab her and she says "higher" so I reach up and grab her boobs and fondle them briskly for several moments. Then she decides we need breakfast so we go get bagels from panera and bring them back. On the way home I realize it's like 8am. She says she always gets up this early. I tell her she needs to get laid. She says she'd still get up early and want more sex. I tell her I can accommodate.
I tell her I'll call (but I don't) and go home to nurse my all day hang over.
So I finally decide to text her and she was all "why didn't call you last night" and I was like "I wasn't down for the 6am bagel run". She says she's going to newport tonight and that we hook up when she gets back. I say "Maybe...if you're lucky, call me when you get back". That was 2 seconds ag...and she just texted back "I don't believe in luck. But I will hit you up. Try not to throw up tonight".
That sassy little tart.
I am going to bang her Gmork style. Her cries of ecstasy will ring through asgard with heraldic fury and thor will give freya daps and say "That's how tis done".
-
Are ya-are ya gonna creampie her... :P
-
Do you see any evil many armed titans or mythological beasts that need slaying?
No?
Then I won't be having children anytime soon.
-
Get a vasectomy.
Just don't go overboard like Guy Hargreaves, lol.
-
Surely you are man enough to command your sperm not to reproduce.
-
The time will come when demi gods are again needed to walk the realm, dispensing justice as needed and engaging the forces of darkness in an endless cosmic struggle. My line must persevere until 2174 when I'll be reincarnated to lead the colonies in rebellion against their terran oppressors.
-
1. Sell your seed to the sperm farms.
2. Wait twenty years until all these kids come looking for their daddy.
3. ????
4. Profit.
-
CAN YOU FEEEEL IT MCCLOUD!? THE QUICKENNNINNNNNGGGGG!
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
/SPLOOOGE!
Her vag was like the fist of heaven clenched tight on my haft as if to wield it in The Last Battle.
I am reborn!
24 years old!
-
*Puts on Nerd Glasses.*
Actually the Highlander's last name is MacLeod, not McCloud.
*Straightens pocket protector.*
-
In the pr0n version, his name is MacLoad.
*Puts on sunglasses*
-
In the pr0n version, his name is MacLoad.
*Puts on sunglasses*
yeaa... you know what, I'm just not feeling it today.
-
Was this some kind of masturbation video? Because as we all know...there can be only one.
-
No, in the END, there can be only one. Buttsecks, get it right.
-
So someone is beheaded post climax? Are you trying to push a snuff film on us?
-
Hey, I didn't say anything. You sir, are putting words in my mouth (and ideas in my brain...).
-
No, in the END, there can be only one. Buttsecks, get it right.
What about DA?
-
That's special effects. Doesn't happen IRL.
-
DVDA
-
I see this, and I think this:
(http://bonr.shwiggie.com/index.php?action=dlattach;topic=1101.0;attach=4045;image)
I'm just trying to figure out why there's yarn there....
-
Seriously?
THREAD BUMP
(and thread is a type of yarn)
-
She called me wasted to tell me how great my dick is.
Which is weird cause as you guys know I was just thinking about how awesome her vag is. I might have to go visit her next month. If this was final fantasy game her vag would summon me into battle.
Now I'm all breathing hard and the urge to feed is upon me...
-
I'm just trying to figure out why there's yarn there....
I'm no needleworker or seamstress, but I've never seen shiny yarn before.
-
I'm just trying to figure out why there's yarn there....
I'm no needleworker or seamstress, but I've never seen shiny yarn before.
Sewing thread is technically a type of yarn. And also, someone has probably made glossy knitting yarn by now.
-
Apparently someone else I know has banged this girl, but she never called him to tell him about his dick!
I AM THE KING OF FUCK!
If this was an olympic sport I would have quad gold by now!
-
And then sewn your dick to your thigh with fabulous glitter thread.
-
YEAH!!...wait what?
-
Then Bling It! ...but make sure the stones match the thread you've used.
-
There is something intoxicating about the way a woman will cover her face in throws of ecstasy. As if she can't bear to be seen in such a raw state. A window to her soul is opened and she's not comfortable with our gaze therein. So she closes her eyes and covers her face with her hands, for to lock eyes with the god who holds her in his heavenly embrace would make her his slave from now until eternity.
Instead she simply utters..."oh my god, oh fuck, you're awesome!"
Yes, yes I am.
-
There is something intoxicating about the way a woman will cover her face in throws of ecstasy.
Are you sure that wasn't just some butterface whose head you brown-bagged?
-
Yes I'm sure.
-
Are you suuuuuuuuuuure? Really, really, sure?
-
Yep, we did it with the lights on and it was clearly her forearm and not a paper bag or any other form of grocery carrying device.
I think its cute.
But I can't tell her it's cute or she'll start doing it more often and it won't be genuine. Funny how that works, you can praise people for all sorts of things but not women for their mannerisms in bed. I mean if it was something she could that technically felt better I'd be all for saying "Arch your back like this..." etc. But those little ephemeral things they do or how loud they are can't be commented on for fear of artifice thereafter.
-
something that she could "do"
I've been leaving small words out of what I'm typing these past few years. I wonder if that means anything.
-
A WILD 18 YEAR OLD APPEARS!
So now I'm negotiating with a 19 yr old and an 18 yr old!
IT'S LIKE THE GOLDEN AGE IS AGAIN VISITED UPON US!
She's this mousy film school chick. They can't get enough of me over there. I mean come on, it's a guy that looks like me whose spouting Gurren Laggan and Wild Thornberry quotes. I'm a nerd girl's wet dream.
At one point one of them asked "OMG I love you! How can so much win be contained in one person?"
-
But those little ephemeral things they do or how loud they are can't be commented on for fear of artifice thereafter.
You mean they actually bother to remember? :-\
-
No I mean that's what they do and if I tell them that I like that thing they're doing they'll do it more but it won't be real because they're doing it just to please me...
Like let's say I was to slam my massive meaty man sausage into your tiny velvet pig's purse and you did something weird like fart a little bit every ti...
or wait are you talking about do they bother to remember that I commented?
-
Man, you'd give Shakespeare a run for his money with such elegant prose.
-
My brain just refused to compute his post. It's the oddest fuckin' thing. :lol:
-
If you were a robot your head would have popped off.
-
But I AM a robot. :blink:
-
I fucking wish I knew some real robots.