Author Topic: SNAKES ON THE MOTHERFUCKING PLANE! (Read 13493 times)

Rama · « **Reply #30 on:** Mar 28, 2006, 02:42:12 AM »

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I think I have a possible theory on why George Lucas screwed up the prequels. It's because he had kids.

See, I've noticed something (Bernie's going to love this). Whenever most people have children, it's as if half their brain shuts down. They become dumber, they have this strange desire to have even more children and even more children (like my step-aunt and uncle who have 4 kids under 6), and they start to do really stupid things that non-breeders don't do, like drive SUVs. Their whole world revolves around the "miracle" of children and all sense of reality is erased from their consience.

Now, as far as I remember, Mr Lucas had his first child between Empire and Jedi. As you notice, Empire was his best movie, yet most fans say Jedi was a bit of a disappointment, especially with the Ewoks (giant teddy bears? Did Georgie have teddies on the brain thanks to his child?) And he's already admitted that he focused the prequels on children, whereas when he was writing the original trilogy, he wanted something mature and intellectual as well as action packed.

He basically dumbed down the sequels to his "parent" intellect level, so that they would be kid friendly.

The only flaw with that part of the theory is the fact that Sith was PG-13, as well as the fact that Indiana Jones was filmed when he had kids but didn't suck. However, this is explained in the rest of my theory.

The other part of my theory was that, like most rich-as-fuck, brainwashed-by-jews Hollywood directors, he equates a good movie to something where CG comes first, and storyline and dialogue is a dead last. This explains why, even after having kids, the Jones trilogy didn't suck, because it didn't rely on a lot of CG. Unfortunatly, CG is not only Hollywood's greatest blessing, it's also it's greatest curse, because it makes it VERY EASY to make shitty movies (See: Ultraviolet).

Oh, and to throw one more idea onto the table, he also wanted to do the movie HIS way, and refused to listen to much criticism from his staff and the fans, which made it even worse.

So, in conclusion:
Massive amounts of CG + Parent complex to make everything child-friendly + doing things his way only = Very shitty prequels.

I have my own Theory....he fired Gary Kurtz. Course that happened about the time he had kids....so it could still work.

Rodent of Unusual Size · « **Reply #31 on:** Mar 29, 2006, 09:21:08 AM »

I have my own hypothesis, D. Empire came out before you were born, but Return came out afterwards. And things got worse from there. This proves my supposition that your birth is both the cause and the indicator of the death of intelligence for this plane of existence.

Extra Zero · « **Reply #32 on:** Mar 29, 2006, 09:36:20 AM »

BURN!

The D · « **Reply #33 on:** Mar 30, 2006, 05:27:28 PM »

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I have my own hypothesis, D. Empire came out before you were born, but Return came out afterwards. And things got worse from there. This proves my supposition that your birth is both the cause and the indicator of the death of intelligence for this plane of existence.

But your basing the level of intellegence in this universe on St*r WarzzZZ. There were a lot of stupid things that happened way before the movies came out.

IDE · « **Reply #34 on:** Mar 30, 2006, 07:41:20 PM »

I saw every single starwars during their original theatrical releases!

That's right bitches! I was in A new hope as an infant and it blew my fucking baby mind man! My theory is that that's why I'm awesome to this very day.

Rama · « **Reply #35 on:** Mar 30, 2006, 11:46:49 PM »

I saw all but A New Hope....Granted I was too young to to remeber ESB, but I did go.

Chopper Face 69 · « **Reply #36 on:** Mar 31, 2006, 05:55:49 AM »

I was in the womb when my mother went to see St*r WarzzZZ. I'm told I was taken to Empire. I have memories of seeing Jedi... though all I can remember is the Ewoks...

Bernie AKA · « **Reply #37 on:** Mar 31, 2006, 12:30:46 PM »

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See, I've noticed something (Bernie's going to love this). Whenever most people have children, it's as if half their brain shuts down.

The phenom of which you speak is an unfortunate consequence of Placenta Brain (from the Childfree Glossary) Men can be affected as well. If the birth doesn't do it, 8-10 hours of the same Wiggles DVDS every day usually finishes them off.

tomduo · « **Reply #38 on:** Mar 31, 2006, 01:36:26 PM »

YOU PEOPLE ARE FUCKING TALKING WHEN THERE ARE MOTHERFUCKING SNAKES ON THE DAMN PLANE!? WE ALL GOING TO DIE!!!

Bernie · « **Reply #39 on:** Mar 31, 2006, 02:53:37 PM »

Fry their little snakey brains with a Wiggles DVD. Works on people.

And I waited in line for 3 hours to see the original run of St*r WarzzZZ and saw it 26 more times that summer. Empire was a 4-hour wait, but my girlfriend & I saw the first showing and some guy bought a bunch of donuts to give to all the girls he thought were cute and another brought games from his shop, so we weren't hungry or too bored.

Rodent of Unusual Size · « **Reply #40 on:** Mar 31, 2006, 03:04:20 PM »

One way one can fry a snake's brain is to put one in an empty bathtub. They freak out and die.

That works for rattlesnakes, at least.

IDE · « **Reply #41 on:** Mar 31, 2006, 03:07:54 PM »

SRRSLY?

B E C K · « **Reply #42 on:** Mar 31, 2006, 07:59:54 PM »

The poor snakes..... =(

Rama · « **Reply #43 on:** Apr 01, 2006, 12:02:01 AM »

The first date my parnets went on they went to see St*r WarzzZZ.

B E C K · « **Reply #44 on:** Apr 01, 2006, 12:26:24 AM »

Fuck you all. I have no neat memories or stories about St*r WarzzZZ. I remember when I first exposed to it on VHS, I was hopelessly bored.

Rama · « **Reply #45 on:** Apr 01, 2006, 12:33:06 AM »

Wha....WHAT!?! Sacrilege!

B E C K · « **Reply #46 on:** Apr 01, 2006, 01:01:38 AM »

BORED. I think that Merla liked them was the only reason I eventually got sucked into them. Hell, she still goes through little watch-a-thons sometimes where she pops in the tapes and just watches them over and over and over again. Now she does that with Harry Potter and LOTR.

Rama · « **Reply #47 on:** Apr 01, 2006, 01:14:05 AM »

You must need a lot of flash and bang to keep you glued to the screen.

Guest · « **Reply #48 on:** Apr 01, 2006, 01:34:49 AM »

*specialized in both those areas*

Rama · « **Reply #49 on:** Apr 01, 2006, 01:35:39 AM »

Oh if only we knew who the mysterious guest was..that might have some meaning.

B E C K · « **Reply #50 on:** Apr 01, 2006, 02:04:19 AM »

IDE.

And suprisingly, no, Rama. Anyway, I was still a kid at the time. I liked Jem and the Get-along Gang. Why should anyone be surprised that I couldn't give two shits about some freak in black cutting off another freak's hand or some giant space ball getting blowed-up?

Rama · « **Reply #51 on:** Apr 01, 2006, 02:08:17 AM »

I know Jem...but I don't think I'm familar with Get-Along Gang.

B E C K · « **Reply #52 on:** Apr 01, 2006, 02:11:13 AM »

If you care, google it. Otherwise, don't bother.

Rama · « **Reply #53 on:** Apr 01, 2006, 02:14:57 AM »

:: doesn't bother. ::

Chopper Face 69 · « **Reply #54 on:** Apr 01, 2006, 08:57:47 AM »

I am also curious and am also unwilling to look it up.

Extra Zero · « **Reply #55 on:** Apr 01, 2006, 09:35:05 AM »

"I am CURIOUS ya'see...I'm Cosby #8...CURIOSITY COSBY...THEOOOOOOO!"

Max Con · « **Reply #56 on:** Apr 01, 2006, 11:59:40 AM »

I care for St*r WarzzZZ about as much as Nuri does.

IDE · « **Reply #57 on:** Apr 01, 2006, 12:29:21 PM »

I remember the get along gang
Their leader was a moose right?

The D · « **Reply #58 on:** Apr 01, 2006, 03:20:18 PM »

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Fry their little snakey brains with a Wiggles DVD. Works on people.

And I waited in line for 3 hours to see the original run of St*r WarzzZZ and saw it 26 more times that summer. Empire was a 4-hour wait, but my girlfriend & I saw the first showing and some guy bought a bunch of donuts to give to all the girls he thought were cute and another brought games from his shop, so we weren't hungry or too bored.

Hmm...*jots down* Free donuts good way to make friendly with the ladies.

Actually, this might not work with our fat-obsessed society.

B E C K · « **Reply #59 on:** Apr 02, 2006, 01:19:32 AM »

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I remember the get along gang
Their leader was a moose right?

Damn straight.

They were a bunch of anthropomorphic kids that were buddies and the gist of it was exactly how it sounds.

Author Topic: SNAKES ON THE MOTHERFUCKING PLANE! (Read 13493 times)

Bernie

Guest