In the ER today....

[B E C K]

I ate a couple of prunes and didn't chew it right. So I went to ER because it felt stuck in my throat. Dude just shows me an X-ray of my esophagus and it looks all wonky. No idea what's going on but thought I'd say something. No idea what's happening. And I hope Merla doesn't blame herself because she gave me those prunes. I don't think two badly chewed prunes would do that to an esophagus.

[B E C K]

Bro, I've never been so grateful to have had a messed up X-ray. I went into the tube thing to get scanned and my esophagus looks fine. It has an abrasion or something on it. Apparently, the first X-ray was likely taken wrong or something.

[Rodent of Unusual Size]

Speaking as a former licensed and still-registered radiographic technologist, it's pretty hard to fuck up a chest x-ray, and techs are supposed to chell the image before sending you back to make sure they got a diagnostic quality image. Plus, whoever ordered the CT should have their sack split and their leg rammed through it for not simply having them retake the x-ray. But ERs have hard-ons for CT because they can charge way more for them than a regular x-ray and don't give a damn about ALARA principles or the fact that they dosed you with 20x more radiation than the basic x-ray in the process.

But I'm glad it was a relatively minor issue and that you're doing well.

[joe]

I'm completely neurotic about that shit, so I basically pulp everything in my mouth before swallowing. I'm always the last one at the dinner table, chewing and chewing and chewing.

It's only within the last few years that I've finally stopped using my mortar and pestle to grind painkillers into dust before taking them.

I hope your abraded throat heals quickly.

[B E C K]

Speaking as a former licensed and still-registered radiographic technologist, it's pretty hard to fuck up a chest x-ray, and techs are supposed to chell the image before sending you back to make sure they got a diagnostic quality image. Plus, whoever ordered the CT should have their sack split and their leg rammed through it for not simply having them retake the x-ray. But ERs have hard-ons for CT because they can charge way more for them than a regular x-ray and don't give a damn about ALARA principles or the fact that they dosed you with 20x more radiation than the basic x-ray in the process.

But I'm glad it was a relatively minor issue and that you're doing well.

I'm Spider-Man now.

Is it still considered a chest X-ray if it's my throat? I had to stand in front of the plate and angle my chin up. And the dude's all "her scrunchie's in the way". Dude, tell me that earlier. I just made a top ponytail bun-thing. I think these were students. So now I get to pay for their mistakes.

But I was so anxious about my esophagus that I kind of wanted them to cram me in the tube. And the guy's all "it's going to feel like you're peeing" or whatever. And afterwards, it felt like my fingertips were peeing! It was wild.

But, really, these fuckers scared me. Like implying they didn't know how I was breathing with my supposed weird-ass esophagus. And then it was an oopsie. Bleh.

It's only within the last few years that I've finally stopped using my mortar and pestle to grind painkillers into dust before taking them.

I hope your abraded throat heals quickly.

Thanks. Although now you have me wondering if I should get a mortar and pestle.

[B E C K]

Man, I'm barely eating solid food and the tiniest fucking crumb of something makes me feel like I'm choking. And the ER only gave me five days worth of the medicine that was helping me. What a pain in the ass.

[joe]

Have you tried any teas? Maybe ginger? Chamomile?

[joe]

Sorry. That was fucking inane. As if drinking tea to soothe your throat hadn't occurred to you.

[B E C K]

I tried a lemon ginger one that felt decent. I need to get more of it. Also drank some mint tea. What a fucking mistake. Do not drink mint tea when your throat's torn up. People recommended slippery elm to me, which I have some of.

So far, the things that seem okay:
-Cheesecake.
-Mashed potatoes
-Jello (various ones including a Lemon Meringue one)
-Yogurt
-Soda (drinking more of it now than I have in the last year)
-Iced Coffee (it's more milk than coffee if I'm being honest)
-Sweet Iced Tea (in moderation)
-Bolthouse Farms Green Goodness
-Scrambled Egg. (Only one in a meal and I have to chew the shit outta it.)
-Salmon. (Only tiny bits now.)

Some peeps online were cautioning about caffeine and dairy but drinking water by itself sometimes feels like it's drying out my throat. Milky stuff at least feels like its coating things in there.

As a special mention, FAIL WHALES:
-Ice cream. The fat + dairy can cause acid reflux and. Eating it was okay but afterwards was hell.
-Pasta. Ate this for a while when I had medicine. Without medicine, the little pieces are too irritating.
-Mint Tea and Orange Tea. Minty fresh feeling felt le bad. Orange also felt like it dried out my throat.
-Naked drinks. It's a brand like Bolthouse Farms. Kinda tasted bad. I'm diluting it with water to finish it off.
-Cookie Dough. The tiny chocolate chips itched my throat even though I chewed it to hell.
-Tomato Soup. The brand I tried tasted kind of bad and had little bits in it.
-Pureed Oatmeal. Had little bits in it.

[B E C K]

My throat still bothers me but at least it doesn't really keep me up at night. I followed up with a doc and got more meds so I can at least eat small pieces of meat again like bits of minced crab and salmon. I've been eating chicken soup and a few pieces of ravioli. I really want a fucking cheeseburger or a slice of pizza but I won't even attempt it. Doc thinks it could be stomach acid impeding my healing so that's what the meds are for. One of them really weird: I can either swallow the capsule OR sprinkle the contents of the capsule on apple sauce. Why can't I just try and swallow the contents of the capsule by itself without any apple sauce? I have no fucking clue so I bought a bunch of apple sauce. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[joe]

My guess is that mixed with the apple sauce, the stuff actually stands a better chance of making it all the way to your stomach where it can "activate" properly or whatever. Whereas if you were to just swallow it normally, it would mostly just coat the back of your tongue and throat and eventually absorb into your system that way, and not really do its job. Like with painkillers they're going to end up in your bloodstream one way or another, but with this stuff they're having you take, I figure it's meant to go to work directly on the contents of your stomach.

But I don't actually know.

[B E C K]

You're probably right. When the dumb dandruff candy sprinkles fail to go down the hatch with the applesauce, they linger in my mouth and try to find a place to hide. But I'm not supposed to chew them so I have to pile in more applesauce in my craw to help swallow the stragglers down.

[Rama]

Prunes are supposed to deal with the other end

[B E C K]

Right? Why did a prune of all things aggravate my injury like this? It stinks. But, hey, I lost five pounds. So, uh, cool, I guess.