Barbie

[jonhammstein]

I think this is a good trailer.

[B E C K]

I watched this trailer the other day and don't understand it.  What is this movie?  Who is this for?  Do these people know what Barbie is?  An escape for little girls to believe they can be anyone they want to be?  I mean, honestly, there was already a Barbie movie: it was called "Legally Blonde."

[jonhammstein]

Fair questions. I don't think this movie is for kids. Like, at all. I think it's been a very long time since little girls have given two shits about Barbie. This is for adults who were all about Barbie back when they were kids. Or just moviegoers in general. Margot Robbie/Ryan Gosling admirers, etc.

Oh shit, Will Ferrell's in it? It's gonna be all the way goofy... but with a heart of gold. You know the drill.

[Rodent of Unusual Size]

My niece has loved Barbie all her life and still maintains a growing collection, so I imagine she'll be head over heels for this.

[B E C K]

Fair questions. I don't think this movie is for kids. Like, at all. I think it's been a very long time since little girls have given two shits about Barbie. This is for adults who were all about Barbie back when they were kids. Or just moviegoers in general. Margot Robbie/Ryan Gosling admirers, etc.

Oh shit, Will Ferrell's in it? It's gonna be all the way goofy... but with a heart of gold. You know the drill.

I thought you were joking. I didn't realize any of those people were even in this movie. Got it. It's a vehicle for them with a Barbie skin on it. Did the trailer even have their names? It was all Great Gerwig this and Greta Gerwig that but I don't know who that is. I guess I was supposed to recognize these actors on sight? But I didn't. Not even when the camera lingered on Robbie's face. I just saw a weird old-time ass Barbie. Then I saw a goofy-ass dude and a bunch of people weirdly smizing at the end like I was supposed to know who they all were. (And I concede I was and failed.)

[jonhammstein]

I don't really know Gerwig, either. Looked her up. She's done some acting, but now she mostly seems to be about writing/directing lady-centric stuff. So this Barbie will probably have some strong depictions of female empowerment, etc. at its core.

And I'm not saying that to be condescending or cynical or whatever, I just believe that's what this movie is going to be about.

Because like I said, if you're making a Barbie movie NOW, it probably ain't to sell toys. Although the toys will undoubtedly see a boost in sales, I'm sure.

[B E C K]

"I'm a strong, independent Barbie who don't need no Ken."

[jonhammstein]

Yeah, like maybe Ken comes out of the closet by the end of the movie. That kind of thing.

And I really don't know what I'm talking about, because apparently Greta Gerwig was just in a film with Adam Driver this year.

[B E C K]

Yeah, Ken will come out. And it'll be powerful and brave or something. But it'd be more powerful and brave if Midge and Kira scissored.















What? What. Sorry, you're right. That was inappropriate. Kira hasn't been a Barbie character in twenty years.