Author Topic: Lol, guy with a neck tattoo knocking on my door. (Read 3500 times)

B E C K · « **on:** May 30, 2016, 02:21:06 PM »

I'm not answering it so fuck off, thugsby.

Rodent of Unusual Size · « **Reply #1 on:** May 31, 2016, 10:13:50 PM »

He may have been giving away flowers and wanting to pray for you.

Possibly over your naked dead body.

But still.

B E C K · « **Reply #2 on:** Jun 01, 2016, 04:44:24 AM »

He was too young for that neck tattoo. Have fun being an auto mechanic. I hope you're actually good with cars.

I think he was looking for a friend and was seriously lost. He had his cell phone glued to his ear the entire time, as kids these days are apt to do. His boxers were puffing out of his pants, too. As kids these days are apt to wear them. Oh, kids these days.

Rama · « **Reply #3 on:** Jun 01, 2016, 10:11:21 AM »

That reminds of the time a biker gang camped out on my front lawn for like a half hour. Kinda thought going out there and saying "Get the fuck off my lawn!" wouldn't be the best idea. I mean I don't have platform shoes and a jukebox to play Tequila on soooooooooooo....

B E C K · « **Reply #4 on:** Jun 01, 2016, 12:44:43 PM »

Ha ha, yeah. Schmoo had her giant American flag out for Memorial Day. And I was all "Shit, if you're gonna steal our flag, I ain't going out there to stop you."

Rodent of Unusual Size · « **Reply #5 on:** Jun 02, 2016, 08:40:26 PM »

I don't mind answering the door for anyone, but it's the a-holes who park in the driveway and sit on the horn that make me want to walk out of the house in full Gran Torino mode complete with 12 gauge.

B E C K · « **Reply #6 on:** Jun 03, 2016, 02:33:58 AM »

Are they doing that to you or do you mean, like, for a neighbor? I have some of those two. You have a cell phone, homes. Call or text them to get them to come outside. Or here's something novel: shut off the car, get down, and ring their doorbell.

Rodent of Unusual Size · « **Reply #7 on:** Jun 03, 2016, 07:51:41 PM »

Nah, it's like when the DHL driver who never comes to this side of reality and wants to know where Smiley Jernigan lives (I have no freaking clue). Or baby/ass kissing wanna-be's wheeling up during political season. Or old relatives who want to speak but don't want to have to get out. Or what have you.

Yeah, I know I have a huge black German Shepherd out there, but don't blow your horn for five minutes on the off-chance I'm not playing a game of Asteroids on the toilet.

Rumble · « **Reply #8 on:** Jun 07, 2016, 12:44:15 PM »

Whenever I open the door it's always people who want to talk to me about the lord. I'd rather open the door and see some thug with a neck tattoo

B E C K · « **Reply #9 on:** Jun 09, 2016, 03:14:12 AM »

One day, someone with a neck tattoo will want to talk to you about the lord. Funny tho', we have Jehovah's Witnesses that frequently canvas the neighborhood and they actively avoid our house now. We don't know why, but I'm positive it's because I don't speak Spanish and they don't appear to speak English. We haven't been mean to them aside from sometimes not answering the door, but I'm sure a lot people do that to them.

Rodent of Unusual Size · « **Reply #10 on:** Jun 09, 2016, 07:27:39 AM »

We had a JW drop by a few weeks ago. Molly kept them from getting out of the car, so I spoke to them for about two minutes. That was as long as it took for the guy to start poor-mouthing my church at which point I reminded him that his church founder was proven to be a fraud in a court of law in the 1910's. The conversation was over pretty quickly after that.

B E C K · « **Reply #11 on:** Jun 10, 2016, 11:44:14 AM »

Ha ha. Nice!

jonhammstein · « **Reply #12 on:** Jun 12, 2016, 01:21:33 AM »

It took me a couple seconds before I was able to identify a JW as a Jehovah's Witness, as opposed to a Justice Warrior.

Because we all know the internet is overflowing with those these days.

Rodent of Unusual Size · « **Reply #13 on:** Jun 12, 2016, 08:24:51 PM »

It's funny how they work. It's like a jedi JW goes out with a padawan to show them the ropes. Basically they teach them how to cope with doors either not opening or being slammed in their faces. Gotta admire their tenacity though.

Rama · « **Reply #14 on:** Jun 12, 2016, 09:55:59 PM »

the JW here seem to use the Library I work at as their main hub for their wears around here. In like 2-3 times a week and usually have a regular they a selling said wears too. Army recruiters do the same thing. But I mean if they are looking for directionless people....a Library at midday is a good place to start.

B E C K · « **Reply #15 on:** Jun 13, 2016, 04:37:30 AM »

I was so confused until I realized you meant "wares."

Rama · « **Reply #16 on:** Jun 14, 2016, 11:20:46 PM »

Yeah...fuck. That is what I meant. Got in a hurry and used the wrong one.

Rama · « **Reply #17 on:** Jun 15, 2016, 09:03:35 AM »

Course if they were Mormon they could be trying to sell their wears, what with the magic underwear and all.

And that Magic Underwear.....not as sexy as it sounds.

B E C K · « **Reply #18 on:** Jun 16, 2016, 04:18:56 AM »

Probably not as monogamous as it sounds either.

Rama · « **Reply #19 on:** Jun 16, 2016, 05:40:29 PM »

Turns out they are Mormons! Yeah for me not knowing official dress code of cults....errrrr...religions.

B E C K · « **Reply #20 on:** Jun 17, 2016, 02:08:00 AM »

Next time, study your flashcards. That's what they're there for.

Rama · « **Reply #21 on:** Jun 17, 2016, 10:27:24 AM »

I thought they were there to teach me the age honored tradition of flashing!

What a rip off.....Sigh *looks at note book that reads: "How does knowing the pope has a funny hat help get random people to look at my dick?"* It all makes sense now.