Author Topic: Is Casey Ryback, Steven Seagal's greatest contribution to the world... gay? (Read 8050 times)

spooie · « **on:** Sep 05, 2011, 01:43:51 PM »

So I'm watching, trying out my new TV Tuner on my PS3 and recording Under Siege on my computer in HD to test things out, when something strange that I had noticed many years ago but never actually thought about clicks with me.

About an hour and seventeen minutes in, Casey is with Jordan making some home-made explosive devices with the help of a missile, when he pulls out a condom to use for it.

Okay... people carry condoms on them from time to time in the hopes that they'll get some at some point... but the thing is, the ship he was only had a male ONLY Navy crew. In fact, the only people who knew Jordan was coming where the guys trying to take over the damned thing. So if he's carrying that thing around in his pocket the entire time, on a ship with only guys, for months at a time... what is he going to do with it? Exactly what does he have planned with the Captain anyway? Taking into place the "gays in the military" stance of the 90s, he WAS put on the ship as a "special request" by the captain, after all.

And as Crimson Tide, another 90s Navy film taught us, "You don't put on a condom unless you're gonna fuck." Well, I'm guessing you don't carry one around either, unless you plan to. Something tells me that the stripper party wasn't the only one that was to take place on the ship. But that ear wiggling stuff is starting to make much more sense now.

Therefore, is it safe to say that Casey Ryback is the greatest gay action hero?

IDE · « **Reply #1 on:** Sep 05, 2011, 01:49:52 PM »

If it was in his wallet then he's not gay, if it was in his pocket then yes he is.

spooie · « **Reply #2 on:** Sep 05, 2011, 01:59:09 PM »

Well, we never SEE a wallet. Just him opening the package. In fact, no wallet anywhere in the movie. Would a cook on a navy ship where you don't really need to buy anything or require identification, even be carrying a wallet in his pants when on duty?

IDE · « **Reply #3 on:** Sep 05, 2011, 04:42:50 PM »

Probably not.

IDE · « **Reply #4 on:** Sep 05, 2011, 04:43:39 PM »

But then again wtf do I know, you'll never catch me on a boat full of just dudes for months at a time.

Man the navy must've been the favorite gay branch.

Rodent of Unusual Size · « **Reply #5 on:** Sep 05, 2011, 06:25:16 PM »

Two things to think about here. First is the possibility of shore leave (time off, not gay seamen from OSI/SPHINX).

Second is Gary Busey in drag.

spooie · « **Reply #6 on:** Sep 05, 2011, 06:56:56 PM »

Wait... what about gay semen now?

Anyway... they were on a mission. Be it a week or two out, they might get some leave of duty... but the guy's carrying it around with him NOW.

As for Busey... well... hmm...

Rodent of Unusual Size · « **Reply #7 on:** Sep 05, 2011, 07:02:40 PM »

Quote from: spooie on Sep 05, 2011, 06:56:56 PM

Wait... what about gay semen now?

The afore-mentioned Gay Seaman

Quote from: spooie on Sep 05, 2011, 06:56:56 PM

Anyway... they were on a mission. Be it a week or two out, they might get some leave of duty... but the guy's carrying it around with him NOW.

Hell, man, be prepared. Look what happened; a topless babe just happened to fall in his lap while fighting terrorists.

Quote from: spooie on Sep 05, 2011, 06:56:56 PM

As for Busey... well... hmm...

To quote The Man: "'Nuff Said!"

Rama · « **Reply #8 on:** Sep 05, 2011, 07:23:20 PM »

It was to put on his the rifle of his gun for water landings. At least that's what they told the gals back home when they started issuing them to G.I.s in WW2. It was really for dirty French whores, but the ladies back home didn't need to know that.

The D · « **Reply #9 on:** Sep 06, 2011, 07:16:15 PM »

feature=related

Yes, I do think Steven Segal is gay now.

spooie · « **Reply #10 on:** Sep 06, 2011, 09:11:37 PM »

You had to find the ONE version of that video that was uploaded to the internet with digital pasties, didn't you?

I was bored and wanted to try out the program again, so I made this...

IDE · « **Reply #11 on:** Sep 06, 2011, 09:18:55 PM »

Nice!

What program is that?

I wants to make stuff!

spooie · « **Reply #12 on:** Sep 06, 2011, 09:37:20 PM »

It's called "Comic Life." It used to be an Apple-exclusive app that was packed in with the old Intel iMacs from 2006. Sadly, it was not a pack-in with my new iMac, and has since required a $30 fee to buy the program in it's newest version (with a 30-day trial). The good news is that there is a version out there for PC users now too. Lots of different styles and customization is very simple. One of the easiest art programs of any kind I've ever used, quite honestly.

http://comiclife.com/

More random crap, from Resident Evil and Street Fighter. Was testing out both the program and my new HD TV Tuners last night...

jonhammstein · « **Reply #13 on:** Sep 06, 2011, 11:27:38 PM »

I think some comic book "artists" actually use that program.

B E C K · « **Reply #14 on:** Sep 10, 2011, 11:46:30 PM »

Re: the condom

I thought he just pulled it out of all of his stuff when he was collecting things to MacGyver an explosive with. And why wouldn't he have any condoms? I doubt they were just on that ship and never made shore anywhere.

Also, this made me laugh even though dead puppies usual sadden me. Steven Seagal Kills Puppy While Riding in Tank I read elsewhere the dog was not actually killed by Seagal nor with a tank, but that's less funny so I ignored it.

spooie · « **Reply #15 on:** Sep 11, 2011, 05:33:03 PM »

Well, I asked a navy expert that I work with (I'm pretty sure he served on a sub at one point in his life) and he said, no, they wouldn't be carrying around a wallet with them on the ship. Therefore, he would have been carrying it separately in his pocket. The question isn't why wouldn't he have them... the question is, why was he carrying them in his pocket on THAT day? A day in which he was supposed to be in the kitchen and they weren't near shore.

Answers are 1) banging other dude(s) or 2) banging whatever he had in the oven. For the sake of my eating tonight... I hope it was the other dudes.

I read that from Half Past Dead on, his action scenes were shot with a stunt double and his scenes from the waste up. :\

B E C K · « **Reply #16 on:** Sep 12, 2011, 01:45:19 AM »

He grabbed it from his cabin, a perfectly reasonable place to store condoms, because he needed it to MacGyver the explosive. OR, he grabbed it from someone else's cabin.

Rama · « **Reply #17 on:** Sep 12, 2011, 02:16:13 AM »

Or he was corning holing Ensign First Class Eugene Maybrick from Topeka Kansas in the galley nightly.

Rodent of Unusual Size · « **Reply #18 on:** Sep 12, 2011, 06:17:52 PM »

Just did a little Google-fu on this....http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Casey_Ryback

Hoyl carp, where the hell did all the background information come from?

IDE · « **Reply #19 on:** Sep 12, 2011, 09:59:30 PM »

someone went above and beyond on that.

B E C K · « **Reply #20 on:** Sep 13, 2011, 11:12:19 AM »

Quote from: Rodent of Unusual Size on Sep 12, 2011, 06:17:52 PM

Just did a little Google-fu on this....http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Casey_Ryback

Hoyl carp, where the hell did all the background information come from?

Half of it came from US so I'm guessing the rest is from the sequel. I've never seen US2 so I can't confirm that.

Fiero · « **Reply #21 on:** Sep 13, 2011, 03:18:45 PM »

Quote from: Rodent of Unusual Size on Sep 12, 2011, 06:17:52 PM

Just did a little Google-fu on this....http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Casey_Ryback

Hoyl carp, where the hell did all the background information come from?

You used Google to find Wikipedia?

*golf clap*

Rodent of Unusual Size · « **Reply #22 on:** Sep 13, 2011, 03:42:58 PM »

I typed in "Casey Ryback" and mashed the button. Wiki was the first one that came up, and the info there was surprising as I didn't think they had gone that deeply into the character's background as that.

Fiero · « **Reply #23 on:** Sep 13, 2011, 08:57:12 PM »

But Wikipedia is full of this kind of useless but insanely detailed information about topics that don't seem to deserve such attention.

Rodent of Unusual Size · « **Reply #24 on:** Sep 13, 2011, 09:22:26 PM »

It was far more than anticipated.

Fiero · « **Reply #25 on:** Sep 13, 2011, 10:03:38 PM »

Fair enough.

Rama · « **Reply #26 on:** Sep 23, 2011, 01:11:32 AM »

And I'm watching Under Siege 2 now. It the same as Under Siege...only on a Train. Sorta like Speed 2 was like Speed...but on a Boat.

Fiero · « **Reply #27 on:** Sep 23, 2011, 05:08:41 PM »

Quote from: Rama on Sep 23, 2011, 01:11:32 AM

And I'm watching Under Siege 2 now. It the same as Under Siege...only on a Train. Sorta like Speed 2 was like Speed...but on a Boat.

I'm on a boat mother fucker.

Rodent of Unusual Size · « **Reply #28 on:** Sep 23, 2011, 09:02:01 PM »

And Under Siege was basically Die Hard Redux.

Fiero · « **Reply #29 on:** Sep 23, 2011, 09:52:50 PM »

If he was gay, is it really that big of a deal?