Author Topic: Mother Nature killed my umbrella! (Read 3814 times)

Merla · « **on:** Oct 26, 2009, 03:14:14 PM »

It has been raining cats and dogs all day long. I'm coming to work and all of a sudden violent winds, where there were no violent winds before, not only inverted my brand new umbrella breaking it but spirited it away as well.

Poor thing wasn't even a month old. Oh wells at least it was only Walmart and not Coach.

Fiero · « **Reply #1 on:** Oct 26, 2009, 04:11:11 PM »

This is how I first read this post while paying somewhat more attention to my work-type things.

Quote from: Merla on Oct 26, 2009, 03:14:14 PM

I has beens raising cats and dogs all day long.

Sorry about the weather, its shit in Dallas, too.

Rama · « **Reply #2 on:** Oct 26, 2009, 04:42:36 PM »

A memorial services will be held for the umbrella at the Henson-Holmes Funeral Home at 3 PM, with burial to follow.

Derrick · « **Reply #3 on:** Oct 26, 2009, 05:05:28 PM »

Thank God you didn't use a poncho. They're not even US citizens. They crossed the river to steal jobs American umbrellas do.

Don't mess with Totes.

B E C K · « **Reply #4 on:** Oct 28, 2009, 09:50:56 AM »

The body was never recovered! I refuse to believe it's dead!

Rama · « **Reply #5 on:** Oct 28, 2009, 01:09:25 PM »

The name on the tombstone only has one "L", that must mean he is still alive.

Derrick · « **Reply #6 on:** Oct 28, 2009, 02:48:16 PM »

He is living in NO under an assumed alias.

Fiero · « **Reply #7 on:** Oct 28, 2009, 07:54:52 PM »

You're all wrong. He was stolen by an alternate universe version of his father, Dr. Walter Umbrella.

B E C K · « **Reply #8 on:** Nov 02, 2009, 05:21:42 PM »

Turns out a co-worker of Merla's witnessed the death. Too bad he didn't film it. Boo.

Derrick · « **Reply #9 on:** Nov 02, 2009, 05:29:23 PM »

I could've jacked off to it? Who is this bastard so I can beat him up and then make him open a credit line with Bestbuy.

Fiero · « **Reply #10 on:** Nov 02, 2009, 05:39:28 PM »

I got really confused about what was happening because I read Nuri's post and forgot what thread I was in.

It was just a fucking umbrella.

B E C K · « **Reply #11 on:** Nov 02, 2009, 05:46:32 PM »

It wasn't just an umbrella! It was a member of the family! It was part of a potential snuff film for Tom-Derrick to whack off to! Show some respect, young man!

Fiero · « **Reply #12 on:** Nov 02, 2009, 05:48:45 PM »

Well, shit, I thought someone actually died and I had missed it.

B E C K · « **Reply #13 on:** Nov 02, 2009, 05:53:20 PM »

Did you really not know she's my sister?

Fiero · « **Reply #14 on:** Nov 02, 2009, 05:55:32 PM »

No, I really don't know your sister.

I thought we had lost another dear celebrity for half a second.

B E C K · « **Reply #15 on:** Nov 02, 2009, 06:00:53 PM »

Dammit, if I had known, I would've started a massive internets battle with her for shits.

Derrick · « **Reply #16 on:** Nov 02, 2009, 06:01:38 PM »

But most of us aren't dense and do know you two are related.

B E C K · « **Reply #17 on:** Nov 02, 2009, 06:04:01 PM »

Come on, he really wouldn't have to dense to not know. I go to boards and ignore personal relationships among other posters all the time.

Derrick · « **Reply #18 on:** Nov 02, 2009, 06:11:31 PM »

Don't I know it.

B E C K · « **Reply #19 on:** Nov 02, 2009, 06:14:19 PM »

Um, there, there?

Fiero · « **Reply #20 on:** Nov 02, 2009, 07:19:43 PM »

I'm trying to remember how long ago it was that I didn't know.

Rama · « **Reply #21 on:** Nov 03, 2009, 11:19:20 AM »

You know Derrick and I are brothers right?

Derrick · « **Reply #22 on:** Nov 03, 2009, 12:38:59 PM »

Oh shit, really? Because, I've been binging alot lately and now I need a kidney. THIS SOLVES ALL OF OUR PROBLEMS!

B E C K · « **Reply #23 on:** Nov 03, 2009, 03:22:20 PM »

In fact, if you roll the dice right, it'll solve yours twice.

Rama · « **Reply #24 on:** Nov 03, 2009, 04:30:31 PM »

Jokes on you! I already sold them...both of them.

Derrick · « **Reply #25 on:** Nov 03, 2009, 06:42:48 PM »

That cannot be healthy.

B E C K · « **Reply #26 on:** Nov 03, 2009, 08:06:42 PM »

Well, he sure showed you.

Derrick · « **Reply #27 on:** Nov 03, 2009, 08:13:19 PM »

And now he's vomitting something blackish-green. Should we call an ambulance?

B E C K · « **Reply #28 on:** Nov 03, 2009, 08:13:46 PM »

Nah. It's not like we can reap any kidneys in return.

Derrick · « **Reply #29 on:** Nov 03, 2009, 08:38:11 PM »

But we can reap a liver. I like where this is going, Faye's cousin pays good money for organs.