Author Topic: Single Again... (Read 43784 times)

Extra Zero · « **Reply #330 on:** Mar 03, 2011, 04:09:53 PM »

I like to think that he dies like Big Mama did at the end of Soul Food. With one leg and diabeetus.

Rama · « **Reply #331 on:** Mar 03, 2011, 05:46:12 PM »

I like to think he chokes to death on a powet pellet and then the ghosts gang bang his lifeless body.

Rodent of Unusual Size · « **Reply #332 on:** Mar 04, 2011, 01:27:32 AM »

I see this, and I think this:

Fiero · « **Reply #333 on:** Mar 04, 2011, 04:12:35 PM »

huhuhuh

B E C K · « **Reply #334 on:** Mar 05, 2011, 12:23:58 AM »

Quote from: Extra Zero on Mar 03, 2011, 01:21:23 PM

What about Bad Ass Pac Man? Didn't he already have AIDs? What does that give him now Ultra Mega AIDs? Or does he now have so much AIDs that it cancel itself out and give him a Magic Johnson teir of super AIDs that gives him mad B-ball skillz?

................... YES.

IDE · « **Reply #335 on:** Mar 05, 2011, 03:30:58 PM »

Being single is great.

I'm only talking to 3-4 chicks at a time now though (I peaked at...god I don't even know...what? 14? a few years ago).

Now I'm like that guy that used to be a superhero but is now a janitor, and some people look at him and think "Hey is that...nah couldn't be...looks like him though", before walking on.

But then, there's a close up of my eyes and we see them crackle with ELDRITCH MANWHORE ENERGY! before the screen snaps to black and the credits roll.

B E C K · « **Reply #336 on:** Mar 05, 2011, 06:56:49 PM »

That's great, kid.

Fiero · « **Reply #337 on:** Mar 06, 2011, 02:01:55 AM »

Thisdddf fucking gayu guiy is bullsahit. He can't be real. Fuacking fuck dis sky.

B E C K · « **Reply #338 on:** Mar 06, 2011, 09:41:58 PM »

You said it, homes.

Extra Zero · « **Reply #339 on:** Mar 07, 2011, 12:12:11 AM »

I just imagine him typing that while projectile vomit spews out. Spew. Spew. Spooie...

I wonder what ever happened to Spooie?

Rama · « **Reply #340 on:** Mar 07, 2011, 12:57:34 AM »

I have a radical idea how we can end this thread. The door swings both ways, we could reverse the particle flow through the gate. We'll cross the streams.

IDE · « **Reply #341 on:** Mar 07, 2011, 04:17:53 AM »

I can assure you I am real. The concept just short circuits your feeble-minded brain because of how much I'm WINNING. You're thinking "How can one man WIN that much? How can he be partying with movie stars and the champagne king of las vegas? WHERE ARE MY MOVIE STARS AND MY CHAMPAGNE KINGS!?".

Let me explain something to you...

I was born under the lost 13th sign. On dec whatever 2012 Orphicus will point his giant snake towards the galactic mother and fuck the dog shit out of her. I mean I'm gonna hit it so hard you're gonna hear that crisp movie punch sound effect with every stroke. THWAK! THWAK! THHHHHWAKKK! ad infinitum. The universe itself will collapse under the hammering of my star dong and reality will be unmade.

Extra Zero · « **Reply #342 on:** Mar 07, 2011, 10:49:24 AM »

IDE is history's greatest author. One day the song "Der Kommisar" will be modified to reflect his story.

Sam · « **Reply #343 on:** Mar 07, 2011, 10:59:21 AM »

Quote from: Extra Zero on Mar 07, 2011, 12:12:11 AM

I just imagine him typing that while projectile vomit spews out. Spew. Spew. Spooie...

I wonder what ever happened to Spooie?

He popped up on AIM a few years ago. I rmember chatting with him about some inconsequential things.

Fiero · « **Reply #344 on:** Mar 07, 2011, 12:01:09 PM »

You know, that reminds me, how's the weather?

Rodent of Unusual Size · « **Reply #345 on:** Mar 08, 2011, 03:30:35 PM »

Quote from: Rama on Mar 07, 2011, 12:57:34 AM

We'll cross the streams.

You just want someone to stand next to you at a urinal.

Besides, crossing the streams is *bad*. You're gonna endanger us.

Rama · « **Reply #346 on:** Mar 09, 2011, 12:17:01 AM »

Not necessarily. There's definitely a very slim chance we'll survive.

B E C K · « **Reply #347 on:** Mar 09, 2011, 12:55:17 PM »

Quote from: Sam on Mar 07, 2011, 10:59:21 AM

Quote from: Extra Zero on Mar 07, 2011, 12:12:11 AM
I just imagine him typing that while projectile vomit spews out. Spew. Spew. Spooie...

I wonder what ever happened to Spooie?

He popped up on AIM a few years ago. I rmember chatting with him about some inconsequential things.

And I friended him on FB, like, last month. He's around.

Extra Zero · « **Reply #348 on:** Mar 09, 2011, 11:10:13 PM »

Is his real name Spooie?

B E C K · « **Reply #349 on:** Mar 09, 2011, 11:29:55 PM »

Surprisingly not.

Rodent of Unusual Size · « **Reply #350 on:** Mar 10, 2011, 12:04:00 AM »

Christopher something. Don't remember all of it.

Fiero · « **Reply #351 on:** Mar 10, 2011, 10:52:30 AM »

Walken?

IDE · « **Reply #352 on:** Mar 13, 2011, 11:15:37 PM »

GOD DAMN! I STILL GOT IT!

21 YR OLD BITCHES ALL UP ONS! BYZANTINE!

Granted their not 18 anymore, but I'm not even sure where to find an 18 yr old outside of a college setting...

So basically what happened was it was my friends birthday and people were talking about me before I even got to the party (when I arrive there is a modicum of fanfare akin to when pro wrestlers walk to the ring). So I meet this chick and she's heard all these stories about me and we talk for a while and then...

<

>

Apparently I was chugging a bottle of jack daniels, I awoke next to her on the couch (fully clothes, mores the pity) with a puke bucket over the edge of the couch (that had been used, mores the pity). I roll over and grab her and she says "higher" so I reach up and grab her boobs and fondle them briskly for several moments. Then she decides we need breakfast so we go get bagels from panera and bring them back. On the way home I realize it's like 8am. She says she always gets up this early. I tell her she needs to get laid. She says she'd still get up early and want more sex. I tell her I can accommodate.

I tell her I'll call (but I don't) and go home to nurse my all day hang over.

So I finally decide to text her and she was all "why didn't call you last night" and I was like "I wasn't down for the 6am bagel run". She says she's going to newport tonight and that we hook up when she gets back. I say "Maybe...if you're lucky, call me when you get back". That was 2 seconds ag...and she just texted back "I don't believe in luck. But I will hit you up. Try not to throw up tonight".

That sassy little tart.

I am going to bang her Gmork style. Her cries of ecstasy will ring through asgard with heraldic fury and thor will give freya daps and say "That's how tis done".

Extra Zero · « **Reply #353 on:** Mar 14, 2011, 12:27:30 AM »

Are ya-are ya gonna creampie her...

IDE · « **Reply #354 on:** Mar 14, 2011, 02:02:22 AM »

Do you see any evil many armed titans or mythological beasts that need slaying?

No?

Then I won't be having children anytime soon.

Extra Zero · « **Reply #355 on:** Mar 14, 2011, 11:25:58 AM »

Get a vasectomy.

Just don't go overboard like Guy Hargreaves, lol.

Fiero · « **Reply #356 on:** Mar 14, 2011, 03:17:50 PM »

Surely you are man enough to command your sperm not to reproduce.

IDE · « **Reply #357 on:** Mar 15, 2011, 03:46:17 AM »

The time will come when demi gods are again needed to walk the realm, dispensing justice as needed and engaging the forces of darkness in an endless cosmic struggle. My line must persevere until 2174 when I'll be reincarnated to lead the colonies in rebellion against their terran oppressors.

B E C K · « **Reply #358 on:** Mar 16, 2011, 12:19:04 AM »

1. Sell your seed to the sperm farms.
2. Wait twenty years until all these kids come looking for their daddy.
3. ????
4. Profit.

IDE · « **Reply #359 on:** Mar 16, 2011, 10:16:00 AM »

CAN YOU FEEEEL IT MCCLOUD!? THE QUICKENNNINNNNNGGGGG!

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

/SPLOOOGE!

Her vag was like the fist of heaven clenched tight on my haft as if to wield it in The Last Battle.

I am reborn!

24 years old!