Author Topic: Yee-haw! Stoopid Neighbors! (Read 41815 times)

B E C K · « **on:** Sep 13, 2009, 06:46:56 PM »

Add yours too if you wish.

Today:

The windows were open and Merla and I were enjoying the breeze. She was reading and I was watching the commentary for Alien. All the sudden, we hear this RAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!! noise of a machine. I look outside all WTF and it's some tubby dude I've never seen before with fucking leaf blower across the street. Your first thoughts are probably "Get over it, Nuri, it's Sunday and folks need ta do their lawn." BUT there are no leaves and no grass! We are bone dry here. Nobody on my street has fully mature trees, every tree here was planted five years ago. These people do not have any tall grasses or weeds and their front lawn is 70% dirt. So I was all "WTF does this fat boner need a leaf blower for?" Turns out he was blowing dirt off of the concrete. And it's going every where, even to the driveway where he proceeds to go blow more dirt from. What a dumbass. Get a fucking broom, moron.

Later...

Merla goes to another room only to hear a lawn mower. It's our next door neighbor mowing her lawn. She does have some tall weeds, so she needs it. She was partying the night before and all kinds of shit is in her lawn: pool, large bbq grill, several chairs, dog house, toys, beer cans, table, bottles, a giant yellow mop bucket. So what does this genuis do? Instead of moving all of this shit or cleaning it up like a person with a brain, she just mows around everything.

What's more, this woman bought wood for a fence a long time ago. She eventually constructed her fence on two sides except ours, so we still have to see her trashy-ass yard. Yeah, yeah, we should build our own fence if it bothers us so much, but she has the damn wood already AND she has the man-powet. She's just dragging her feet. How long can wood sit on the ground under a tarp before it starts going rotten? It couldn't have been cheap or easy to transport and she just lets it sit there.

Also, she complained to my mom once about not having money to buy school stuff for her three kids. But you have money to waste on wood, a boat in your driveway, a bbq grill, an giant above-ground pool, and shiny new rims. Maybe instead of finishing that fence, she should make a table and slam her head into it.

IDE · « **Reply #1 on:** Sep 13, 2009, 09:21:41 PM »

The people in the building across from my window like to have late night parties. The people aren't being extremely loud, like if I close the windows I won't hear them. But I shouldn't have to close my windows. The people out there talking don't live there they're just at some after party. I haven't said anything yet because it hasn't caused me to lose sleep for work or caused me to be uncomfortable due to heat. Something just bothers me about turning people lose to converse as loud or soft as they please on a balcony at 4am.

Now me being me I don't have the ability to talk about this rationally with them. I feel like they should be destroyed. If it comes to I'm going to yell out my window to keep it down. If they don't I'm left with 2 options. 1) Grab my giant wrench off the nail that it's hanging on the wall and kill everyone bearjew style or 2) call the police.

But I have to find out their address first.

Derrick · « **Reply #2 on:** Sep 13, 2009, 10:09:48 PM »

My neighbors are all quiet.

B E C K · « **Reply #3 on:** Sep 14, 2009, 01:23:55 AM »

Are you sure you're not the noisy neighbor?

Rama · « **Reply #4 on:** Sep 14, 2009, 01:29:13 AM »

This is why I want a good 10 acres between me and my nearest neighbor. Even out where I live the neighbors annoy me. Like a few days ago they were shooting clay pidegons in the vacant field across the road.

Extra Zero · « **Reply #5 on:** Sep 14, 2009, 01:35:01 AM »

I have a neighbor who has, every Saturday for the past 3 years, run his boat engine from 10am to 12pm for whatever fucking reason... Sure 10 am isn't too terribly early, but given that I go out most Friday nights, it can be rough. You'd think with all the money he's blown on gas for the thing, he could have paid someone to fix it or actually gone out in the water (I actually live near the water, namely the Chesapeake Bay) instead of having imaginary Saturday boat adventures.

B E C K · « **Reply #6 on:** Sep 14, 2009, 01:59:07 AM »

Quote

imaginary Saturday boat adventures.

Does he at least dress up for them?

I just hope my neighbors are holding that boat for someone else. Never mind that they can't afford it, there's no decent lakes down here so it barely gets used. Unless you count stray dogs using it for shade. And then when they do use it, they actually throw out their leavings onto the grass. Fucking fish heads just lying there on the lawn like they belong there.

Extra Zero · « **Reply #7 on:** Sep 14, 2009, 02:10:42 AM »

I'd like to say he wears a Captain's hat, but no.

B E C K · « **Reply #8 on:** Sep 14, 2009, 02:14:44 AM »

Boo!! He fails, then.

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Derrick · « **Reply #9 on:** Sep 14, 2009, 05:38:47 AM »

Quote from: B E C K on Sep 14, 2009, 01:23:55 AM

Are you sure you're not the noisy neighbor?

Well, me and Kary often sit outside under the moonlight by the fire roasting meats and making s'mores while playing some tunes. Also, when we watch Football, we're loud.

But then the Grey's have a whore daughter (she most likely collects money, no lie), the Furey's are lookie loos, and Mr. Domey plays horseshoes. Yeah, my family are the asses.

Fiero · « **Reply #10 on:** Sep 14, 2009, 09:40:40 AM »

whore daughter, you say?

Derrick · « **Reply #11 on:** Sep 14, 2009, 11:17:43 AM »

She's fat and had herpes in High School. Also, she has four kids now.

IDE · « **Reply #12 on:** Sep 14, 2009, 01:26:07 PM »

I'm not the noisy one unless my girlfriend comes over...and even then I'm not the noisy one.

Fiero · « **Reply #13 on:** Sep 14, 2009, 05:51:40 PM »

Quote from: Derrick on Sep 14, 2009, 11:17:43 AM

She's fat and had herpes in High School. Also, she has four kids now.

How disappointing.

B E C K · « **Reply #14 on:** Sep 14, 2009, 08:22:27 PM »

Next whore, Fiero. Next whore.

Fiero · « **Reply #15 on:** Sep 14, 2009, 08:37:59 PM »

There's plenty of other whores in the low income suburban neighborhood.

B E C K · « **Reply #16 on:** Sep 14, 2009, 09:08:53 PM »

That's the spirit, that's right. Plenty of fish whores in the low income sea.

Rodent of Unusual Size · « **Reply #17 on:** Sep 14, 2009, 10:26:17 PM »

Quote from: Rama on Sep 14, 2009, 01:29:13 AM

This is why I want a good 10 acres between me and my nearest neighbor.

You just described my "neighborhood". I don't have neighbor problems since I live on eighty acres and my nearest neighbors live a quarter-mile down the road, all out of sight of the house.

Rama · « **Reply #18 on:** Sep 15, 2009, 12:47:31 AM »

See...see. And let's say I need to bury a few bodies, well I have plenty of places to do it in privacy.

gwynn · « **Reply #19 on:** Sep 15, 2009, 05:50:11 AM »

My neighbor started keeping chickens in his backyard a few weeks ago, they didn't look quite like your usual chickens.
I'm pretty sure it's against the homeowners association to keep live foul on your property.
Anywho I started to notice some of their numbers were decreasing, and my mom tells me that they are for cock fighting.
Now I feel like I should go rescue the poor things, or maybe call the humane society?

Rodent of Unusual Size · « **Reply #20 on:** Sep 15, 2009, 11:15:07 AM »

Or maybe you could leave them alone, as they're not doing anything to you? That's always an option.

You'd probably freak out if they were raising them to eat. "Oh, no, they're wringing their necks! Call PETA!"

gwynn · « **Reply #21 on:** Sep 15, 2009, 11:18:42 AM »

Nah, I wouldn't do that, I eat animals all day long.
Just for that I am going to begin breeding squirrels for death match squirradiator purposes.

Bernie AKA · « **Reply #22 on:** Sep 15, 2009, 11:21:07 AM »

Personally I'd be a bit concerned if a neighbor was engaging in a activity considered illegal in 50 states and D.C. that tends to attract a criminal element but hey, that's just me.

gwynn · « **Reply #23 on:** Sep 15, 2009, 11:31:24 AM »

Yea, what Bernie said, up there. Illegal!

Fiero · « **Reply #24 on:** Sep 15, 2009, 03:37:09 PM »

I would tend to agree with the lets call the cops option.

B E C K · « **Reply #25 on:** Sep 15, 2009, 05:55:23 PM »

If they're roosters for cock fighting, do you hear the crowing? I remember a story about a guy who was keeping I-don't-remember how many roosters and it drove his neighbors batshit.

The numbers are probably decreasing for the purposes of dinner.

Rodent of Unusual Size · « **Reply #26 on:** Sep 15, 2009, 06:54:13 PM »

If you've seen it or have reasonable suspicion of illegality, by all means. But that's not what you're saying. You don't think they look like usual chickens...do you deal with chickens enough to know? Okay, homeowners association regulations are reportable, but why bother if it's not impacting your life? And you would hold up your mother as a cock-fighting expert in court?

If there's something nefarious going on, or you have reason to suspect it...by all means, report it. But calling the cops on somebody who may very well not be doing anything wrong or calling someone out on a technicality would certainly piss me off if it were me.

My opinion also has to do with the fact that I hate chickens unless they're being served hot and crispy on a plate for Sunday dinner, so I don't care if they die in Mortal Kombat.

B E C K · « **Reply #27 on:** Sep 15, 2009, 07:03:07 PM »

Quote

My opinion also has to do with the fact that I hate chickens unless they're being served hot and crispy on a plate for Sunday dinner

I just got hungry.

Rama · « **Reply #28 on:** Sep 15, 2009, 10:38:39 PM »

Quote from: Rodent of Unusual Size on Sep 15, 2009, 06:54:13 PM

so I don't care if they die in Mortal Kombat.

And I wanna play Mortal Kombat.

B E C K · « **Reply #29 on:** Sep 16, 2009, 12:01:56 AM »

Mortal Kombat and fried chicken. I miss those days.