I make me laugh.

[B E C K]

I had to change some settings for forum registration and as I was registering, I completely forget I had altered the user terms:

NOTE:  MAKE SURE YOU CHOOSE A LONG ENOUGH PASSWORD.  IT HAS TO BE AT LEAST EIGHT CHARACTERS WITH  A COMBINATION OF CAPITALIZED AND LOWERCASED LETTERS AND NUMBERS.  SUCKS, I KNOW.

_________________________________________________ __________________________

You agree, through your use of this forum, that you will not post any material which is false,  defamatory, inaccurate, abusive, vulgar, hateful, harassing, obscene, profane, sexually oriented,  threatening, invasive of a person's privacy, adult material, or otherwise in violation of any  International or United States Federal law without it being funny. You also agree not to post any  copyrighted material unless you own the copyright or you have written consent from the owner of  the copyrighted material because no one wants to get sued. Spam, flooding, advertisements, chain  letters, pyramid schemes, and solicitations are also forbidden on this forum because they are  fucking annoying.  You also agree, in general, to not be a little whore.  In addition, you agree  to not be a child because Doug is a pedophile and we want all children to be safe and unmolested.   Children shouldn't be on the internet without adult supervision anyway.  If this is the case,  please report your parents to Social Services so corrective action may be taken against them.

Note that it is impossible for the staff or the owners of this forum to confirm the validity of  posts because nobody is made of that much fucking time. Please note this isn't a forum for  validity anyway.  Please remember that we're not fucking babysitters and do not actively monitor  the posted messages, and as such, are not responsible for the content contained within. We do not  warrant the accuracy, completeness, or usefulness of any information presented.  Why you would  come here looking for useful information is another thing entirely. The posted messages express  the views of the author, and not necessarily the views of this forum, its staff, its  subsidiaries, or this forum's owner. Anyone who feels that a posted message is objectionable is  encouraged to notify an administrator or moderator of this forum immediately and get a life. My  God, "freedom of speech", bitches. Seriously, you can just up and leave. No one's making you  stay. The staff and the owner of this forum reserve the right to remove objectionable content,  within a reasonable time frame, if they determine that removal is necessary. Do not post pictures  of tits or hentai or imagery of the like Tom does because it's annoying. Some people view this  place at work and school. No dead bodies or anything like that either because that's disgusting.  Editing is a manual process, however, please realize that they may not be able to remove or edit  particular messages immediately. This policy applies to member profile information as well, but  most people don't look at that shit anyway.

You remain solely responsible for the content of your posted messages. Stop trying to blame other  people for your shit. Furthermore, you agree to indemnify and hold harmless the owners of this  forum, any related websites to this forum, its staff, and its subsidiaries. The owners of this  forum also reserve the right to reveal your identity (or any other related information collected  on this service) in the event of a formal complaint or legal action arising from any situation  caused by your use of this forum.

You have the ability, as you register, to choose your username. We advise that you keep the name  appropriate. If you choose the name "cuntrag" or something, we'll probably just change it anyway.   With this user account you are about to register, you agree to never give your password out to  another person except an administrator, for your protection and for validity reasons. You also  agree to NEVER use another person's account for any reason.  We also HIGHLY recommend you use a  complex and unique password for your account, to prevent account theft. To aid in this  recommendation, we are forcing you to use a combination of capitalized and lowercase letters and  numbers because we are assholes.

After you register and login to this forum, you will be able to fill out a detailed profile which  is fun. It is your responsibility to present clean and accurate information, but we'd rather  you'd be little dirty. Live a little. Any information the forum owner or staff determines to be  inaccurate or vulgar in nature and deemed unfunny or just plain stupid will be removed, with or  without prior notice. Appropriate sanctions may be applicable.

Please note that with each post, your IP address is recorded, in the event that you need to be  banned from this forum or your ISP contacted. This will only happen in the event of a major  violation of this agreement or you, like, threaten to kill someone or something like that.

Also note that the software places a cookie, a text file containing bits of information (such as  your username and password), in your browser's cache. This is ONLY used to keep you logged  in/out. The software does not collect or send any other form of information to your computer.  As  if we care who you are anyway.

[B E C K]

Also, it seems we haven't had a new account here since 2007.  So if anyone legitimate was trying to register, they were put on an infinite backburner.  There were over 900 accounts pending.    Oops.  I had made it upon admin approval, but I thought it was set so the board would e-mail me anytime there was a new account.  Heh, was not the case.

[Rama]

Sanctions never work...we should invade!

[B E C K]

Lots of Ruskies were in the backlog.

[IDE]

I had to blind myself and return to the source to get in here.

[B E C K]

Dude, what?

[IDE]

...

[attachment deleted by admin]

[Rodent of Unusual Size]

My board TOS:

Signing up here shows that you either want to a) be part of a good group of folks, b) look at forums not open to lurkers, c) bitch at us about something stupid, or d) spam the forums ad infinitum.  Well, c) and d) will result in having your account deleted, and b) is useless because what you see is what you get...while there are secret forums, registering won't give you access to them.  But if a) is your reason for registering, we're glad you're here. 

Here are some things you should know before you start:

1) What I say goes in terms of board rules and whatnot.  There is not a democracy...it's a benevolent dictatorship.  If you have a problem with this, do not accept this agreement and back out right now.  I control the horizontal and the vertical...if you won't submit to how things are run here, go away and don't come back.

2) General posting rules: no lurid imagery (defined as pornographic activity that utilizes exposed genitalia...for instance, posting pictures of female breasts is highly encouraged, so long as it doesn't expose the nipples) or conventionally disdained images (Goatse, Tubgirl, et. al.).  Other than that, don't be annoying to and unreasonable with the rest of us.  Many administrative decisions are made after openly consulting with fellow BONRs, so pissing the regulars off won't help.

3) Inactivity isn't optional...you're either here or you're not.  If you can't bother to post after going through the trouble of signing up, you won't mind if I make it official by deleting your account.  Also, it is mandatory that you begin posting immediately after joining, or I will delete your account as soon as I notice it's there and being unused.

Now, if none of that is a problem for you, then go ahead and agree with this thing and start posting.  If you want to prove you actually read this thing, be sure to mention "free Z in every box" in your initial post.

~ Shwiggie, Lord and Master of BONR

[B E C K]

I control the horizontal and the vertical

But not the diagonal?

[Rodent of Unusual Size]

It should be assumed.  Pythagoras says so.

[B E C K]

Oh, well, I guess if Pythagoras said so...

[Derrick]

Why would anyone listen to that homo?

[B E C K]

Because the butt sechs is awesome?

[Derrick]

They didn't go anal, the greeks fucked between the boy's legs. Anal was a nono.

[Rodent of Unusual Size]

So they gave leg jobs? 

[Rama]

Fucking young boys= Ok. Anal Sex=Not Ok.  Leave it to the Greeks.

[Derrick]

The thighs were tied together and lubed up with olive oil. I learned my Greek history from a Gay Welshman who made it clear there was no butt fucking in ancient Greece.

[Bernie AKA]

I saw Bobby Flay do that with some chickens, but he just put them on a grill without secret-saucing them.  Obviously wasn't Greek style.

[Derrick]

TZATIKI ALL OVER THE STOMACHS!

x.x

[B E C K]

The thighs were tied together and lubed up with olive oil. I learned my Greek history from a Gay Welshman who made it clear there was no butt fucking in ancient Greece.

You don't know.  You weren't there!!!11qw312efdvrgvnl,...m

[Derrick]

There's records on pots. Apparently, they loved adding scenes of this to things they would eat on.

[Bernie AKA]

And the quote about Alexander the Great does say that he was only defeated once, and that was by Hephaestion's thighs, not his pooper.

[Derrick]

Hephie had a hairy ass loaded with dingleberries. They didn't have charmin wipes back then.

[Fiero]

The thighs were tied together and lubed up with olive oil. I learned my Greek history from a Gay Welshman who made it clear there was no butt fucking in ancient Greece.

So 300 was a lie, or was it okay to put it in a woman's pooper?

[Derrick]

I don't know about women. As I said, the professor was a homosexual. But before the final fight, Leonidas had more teabags than the Dutch East India Company.

[B E C K]

There's records on pots. Apparently, they loved adding scenes of this to things they would eat on.

I know my rimjob chinaware gets great mileage!

[Derrick]

TOSS A SALAD... well you get where I'm going.

[B E C K]

Something about tomatoes, I think.

[gwynn]

I know my rimjob chinaware gets great mileage!

That so is my quote of the day.

[Derrick]

I prefer my china from Lesbos. It makes my smoked salmon taste sweeter.