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Author Topic: Your "OH, HOLY FUCK!!!" moment for the day  (Read 3542 times)

Bernie AKA

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Your "OH, HOLY FUCK!!!" moment for the day
« on: Jan 14, 2008, 12:59:09 PM »
Eddie comes home on Friday exuberant as he has been picked to go to Baton Rouge next week and solve a client problem; quite a coup for someone with the company only since August.  He is running around the yard with the dogs, and I have what I call my useless pregognation; that creepy feeling that this will not go well.  I'm standing on the deck with a glass of wine, and they stop after about 10 minutes to catch their breath.  Eddie takes off his shoes, and I figure the capering has stopped since it's time to feed the dogs and running in our yard barefooted with all the pine cones would be very foolish.

 :laugh:

A few minutes later, Eddie comes limping in, dripping blood.  He has somehow managed to catch the big toenail of his left foot on the edge of the deck in a stumble and has ripped fully half of it off.  He can hardly breathe for the pain.  Thanking all the gods for whatever in my genetic makeup that has left me devoid of a squick gene in such situations, I get him to the bathroom and under running warm water, flush the mangled appendage, squirt Neosporin and canker sore gel into the spongy wound, the latter to try and numb the pain, and run to Walgreens for a toe splint.  I dress the poor toe upon my return, get him into bed, assuring him that it wouldn't hurt as badly tomorrow, and give him a Vicodin.  Two hours later, he's a bit philosophical, but the pain hasn't lessened a bit.  I respond with two Percogesic, and he goes to sleep for about 3 hours, waking at about 1 for more drugs.

He's in Baton Rouge now with an orthopedic shoe, antiseptic foam and dressings aplenty, and will probably have the rest of the toenail pulled off (under local anesthetic) on Friday.  No hockey and a goofy shoe for at least two weeks.

The moral:  wear your shoes outside! I'm going to have to sand blood stains off the deck!  >:(
Tortures end me,
Death befriends me.
Of all the pains, the greatest pain
is to love, and love in vain.

Sam

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Re: Your "OH, HOLY FUCK!!!" moment for the day
« Reply #1 on: Jan 14, 2008, 03:08:23 PM »
I'll see your injury and raise you another.  Both of these happened this last weekend:

In an unfortunate accident last week, I had cut my finger last week.  The incision runs pretty much lengthwise down my right index finger.  I'm not sure how, but I managed to cut right through the nail and an 1/8" or so deep into the tip.  Well on Saturday I was going from one room to another and grabbed the door jam.  The nail caught and I ripped half of it off the finger.  I too was left breathless for a bit.  I didn't want the kids that live next door to hear the stream of explitives that would have flown otherwise.
 
The story of the wound began three weeks ago when I dropped and broke a glass in the kitchen.  Somehow, after multiple sweepings, I missed one of the shards...until Sunday.  I was walking through in bare feet when I felt the prick.  Thinking that it was nothing big I lifted my foot up and tried to brush it off - that didn't feel good.  Then I took a closer look and pulled it out, threw it away and went about my business in the kitchen.  A few minutes later, as I was leaving, I slipped on something.  Looking down I saw that the kitchen looked like the site of some sort of ritual sacrifice.  Apparently foot wounds bleed.  A lot.  It was more red than white.

Both extremities were disinfected, gauzed, and taped up.  The foot is fine but the finger hurts like a bitch and makes typing pretty difficult.
« Last Edit: Jan 14, 2008, 03:11:24 PM by Sam »

Bernie AKA

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Re: Your "OH, HOLY FUCK!!!" moment for the day
« Reply #2 on: Jan 14, 2008, 03:35:22 PM »
Pretty amazing painwise, huh?  He couldn't even form words to cuss.  No wonder ripping nails out was a favorite of torture chambers everywhere.
Tortures end me,
Death befriends me.
Of all the pains, the greatest pain
is to love, and love in vain.

ChelseySuzie

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Re: Your "OH, HOLY FUCK!!!" moment for the day
« Reply #3 on: Jan 14, 2008, 06:00:17 PM »
EEEEEEEWWWWWW!!  I had a toenail fall off once from infection or something but that seems like nothing compared to what Eddy had to go through.  I would have asked for like 8 Vics!
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Re: Your "OH, HOLY FUCK!!!" moment for the day
« Reply #4 on: Jan 14, 2008, 07:01:15 PM »
If you can see pain on my face from any injury then it is serious business.  Once 185 lbs crashed on my index finger shattering the bones and leaving it bending backwards.  I bent it forwards and blood started squirting out kill bill style.  I walked over to my couch and said "I'm injured" like a universal soldier.  Then I sat down and waited to be evacuated to the hospital.  I've stepped on actual nails and torn off 1/2 a toenail by hand with scarce more than a grunt.  I am all that is man...

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Re: Your "OH, HOLY FUCK!!!" moment for the day
« Reply #5 on: Jan 15, 2008, 12:04:04 AM »
I have an ingrown toenail that has been oozing blood for the past month. I go in for surgery this week.. they finally accepted my insurance.
I like to go down to the playground and watch the kids run and jump and scream, because they don't know I'm only using blanks.

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Bernie AKA

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Re: Your "OH, HOLY FUCK!!!" moment for the day
« Reply #6 on: Jan 15, 2008, 08:24:08 AM »
Might want to be careful with the stoicism, IDE. Eddie's Army veteran dad was like that and dosed himself with Pepto-Bismol for months to treat what turned out to be colon cancer.  Nothing too manly about being bedridden with your wife having to change your shitbag because you were too stubborn to admit something was hurting.
Tortures end me,
Death befriends me.
Of all the pains, the greatest pain
is to love, and love in vain.

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Re: Your "OH, HOLY FUCK!!!" moment for the day
« Reply #7 on: Jan 15, 2008, 08:42:57 AM »
....I got nothing except accidently cutting into my thumb on the tip about a quarter inch with an Xacto knife.

I don't want it to be easy, I want it to be right.

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Re: Your "OH, HOLY FUCK!!!" moment for the day
« Reply #8 on: Jan 15, 2008, 02:32:35 PM »
When I was in Junior High I burnt down to the bone on my hand with a sodering iron. I just wrapped it with a wet towel and went to 7th hour math. I bandaged it when I got home.

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Re: Your "OH, HOLY FUCK!!!" moment for the day
« Reply #9 on: Jan 15, 2008, 02:56:36 PM »
If there is any sort of internal pain or if something is impeding my work outs then I'm a big baby.

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Re: Your "OH, HOLY FUCK!!!" moment for the day
« Reply #10 on: Jan 15, 2008, 03:37:30 PM »
This thread makes me hurted a lot.  Toki raked my pinky deep a couple of nights ago and I thought that hurt like a little bitch.  I can't imagine nails being ripped off and shit.  Ech.

Bernie AKA

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Re: Your "OH, HOLY FUCK!!!" moment for the day
« Reply #11 on: Jan 15, 2008, 03:38:28 PM »
Quote
When I was in Junior High I burnt down to the bone on my hand with a sodering iron. I just wrapped it with a wet towel and went to 7th hour math.

Considering the infection rate of third-degree burns, it's a good thing that MRSA wasn't floating around schools the way it is now.  Though if it had been, your family would probably have a couple of nice vacation homes now since the teacher & school would have been held liable for not obtaining immediate medical attention for a minor child in their care.  8)

The "stupidy in the face of pain" award has to go to my late uncle, though.  Horrible throat pain, couldn't swallow food, felt like he was choking....oh, no, no doctor....indigestion! When he got the point that he couldn't get liquid down or take a breath without gasping, my aunt practically dragged him into the car and to the hospital.  He had a tumor that had not only snaked around his trachea and constricted it, but had tendriled inside it.  The removed his entire trachea, and part of his upper intestine.  Of course, he didn't survive long, and my aunt was not only grief-stricken, but furious with him and would sit down at the breakfast table some mornings, look at his empty chair and scream, "WHY WOULDN'T YOU GO TO THE DOCTOR, YOU SELFISH BASTARD??!!"  She was left very well off - trips to England on the QEII and the Concorde with stays at Claridge's in London or renting a cottage in the Cotswolds for a month, but she wouldn't even consider dating for the rest of her life because she didn't want to take the chance of being devistated like that again.  :'(
« Last Edit: Jan 15, 2008, 04:00:36 PM by Bernie AKA »
Tortures end me,
Death befriends me.
Of all the pains, the greatest pain
is to love, and love in vain.

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Re: Your "OH, HOLY FUCK!!!" moment for the day
« Reply #12 on: Jan 15, 2008, 03:51:39 PM »
Retroactive lawsuit time!

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Re: Your "OH, HOLY FUCK!!!" moment for the day
« Reply #13 on: Jan 15, 2008, 04:41:37 PM »
Egad on the throat thing.  :sick:  It was "tendril" as a verb that did it for me.     

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Re: Your "OH, HOLY FUCK!!!" moment for the day
« Reply #14 on: Jan 15, 2008, 06:14:38 PM »
I think the worse pain I've been in was from the first time I ever tried to shave.  I shaved off a line of skin about 6 inches long from my shin.  There isn't a scar there anymore because it was like 12 years ago.

Though my favorite scar is from when I accidently stabbed myself with a pencil in 5th grade.  I had sharpened it but didn't want the end to break so I put the eraser end in.  Then I went to pick something off the floor and the tip broke off into my arm.  Everyone thought I had lead poisoning until I pointed out that pencil "lead" is granite.  I have a little blue dot on my left forearm from it.
The wife forgave the mistress for she only entertained.

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Re: Your "OH, HOLY FUCK!!!" moment for the day
« Reply #15 on: Jan 15, 2008, 08:35:07 PM »
After reading Bernie's first post, I've decided I won't continue to read the rest of them, for I am hemophobic and I almost fainted while reading it.

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Re: Your "OH, HOLY FUCK!!!" moment for the day
« Reply #16 on: Jan 15, 2008, 09:34:55 PM »
Graphite.

ChelseySuzie

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Re: Your "OH, HOLY FUCK!!!" moment for the day
« Reply #17 on: Jan 16, 2008, 10:17:18 AM »
That too.
The wife forgave the mistress for she only entertained.

Bernie AKA

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Re: Your "OH, HOLY FUCK!!!" moment for the day
« Reply #18 on: Jan 16, 2008, 01:02:36 PM »
Chels, my sister has pencil lead in her hand from like 1957 and is doing fine.  Don't worry - graphite is a pretty neutral substance.

Quote
It was "tendril" as a verb that did it for me. 

I walked up behing my uncle's GP and the oncologist before they saw me and overheard his trachea described as looking like a broken sewer pipe invaded by tree roots.  Needless to say, I didn't share this with the rest of the family.  :-X

There's a common sense line beween him/Eddie's dad and my mom who ran to the doctor every time she farted off-tune.  When my back wouldn't quit hurting, I went to the doctor and found out that there was a reason for it.  My lower back hurts All.The.Time., in varying degrees, but it's from scoliosis.  I know I have a fucked-up spine, not a twitching lemon-sized cord tumor, and the pain is like background noise at this point. I do exercises, have different braces as needed, and a few drugs that I use only when necessary because I don't want to develop a tolerance.  Diagnose & recover/manage properly, don't ignore.  :fingershake:  Also, one's recovery rate from injury starts slowing down after about 20.  Nothing to be done about that - just a sad fact.

Damn, I can't type worth a shit!  I'm trying to keep all my nails long for my nephew's wedding on the 27th, so expect edits aplenty.  :P
« Last Edit: Jan 16, 2008, 01:07:57 PM by Bernie AKA »
Tortures end me,
Death befriends me.
Of all the pains, the greatest pain
is to love, and love in vain.

IDE

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Re: Your "OH, HOLY FUCK!!!" moment for the day
« Reply #19 on: Jan 16, 2008, 03:29:03 PM »
My recovery rate is still powerful!  I have retained my might and strength of arms long past the normal age even amongst those who hail from the land of star.

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Re: Your "OH, HOLY FUCK!!!" moment for the day
« Reply #20 on: Jan 16, 2008, 03:41:47 PM »
The worse injury I had was when I was around 9 or so.  I was running and I fell and skidded on the payment.  Some skin on my shin was gone and all you could see was the white guts.  I also had an infected thumb nail when I was 7. I don't remember it much but my grandfather trimmed the nail for me.

The story of Eddie's father reminds me of my Aunt's sister-in-law who is now dying of cancer.  The woman was having trouble keeping down food and would not go to the doctor because she was waiting for her husband's insurance to kick in.  Well by the time she got to the doctor the cancer had spread.

The other day this same Aunt called my mom asking about the Carelink program.  This is a program for people who are low income and do not have insurance.  My mom and Beck use it and I use to be on it back when I didn't have insurance.  Turns out my cousin has an infected eye, some pussball thing is right outside his eye, high on the bridge of his nose.  Now it's affecting his vision and the thing is leaking.  He doesn't have insurance so he is trying to get information on the program.  The dumbass should of taken care of it way back when it first appeared.  He doesn't have $75 to spend on a doctor yet today is his birthday and he is going to go out and party.  Talk about having ones priorities straight.  He should just put the damn thing on a credit card and get it taken care of.  I don't understand how he can play around with his health like that. As horrible as this may sound I keep thinking he is going to lose an eye.

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Re: Your "OH, HOLY FUCK!!!" moment for the day
« Reply #21 on: Jan 16, 2008, 10:47:51 PM »
Well he can look on the bright side. Eye patches are really cool looking.

Wickedly Yours E

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Re: Your "OH, HOLY FUCK!!!" moment for the day
« Reply #22 on: Jan 17, 2008, 08:43:19 AM »
Not so much these days, what with the lack of swashbucklers.

I don't want it to be easy, I want it to be right.

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Re: Your "OH, HOLY FUCK!!!" moment for the day
« Reply #23 on: Jan 17, 2008, 07:29:39 PM »
Chels, my sister has pencil lead in her hand from like 1957 and is doing fine.  Don't worry - graphite is a pretty neutral substance.

Quote
It was "tendril" as a verb that did it for me. 

I walked up behing my uncle's GP and the oncologist before they saw me and overheard his trachea described as looking like a broken sewer pipe invaded by tree roots.  Needless to say, I didn't share this with the rest of the family.  :-X

There's a common sense line beween him/Eddie's dad and my mom who ran to the doctor every time she farted off-tune.  When my back wouldn't quit hurting, I went to the doctor and found out that there was a reason for it.  My lower back hurts All.The.Time., in varying degrees, but it's from scoliosis.  I know I have a fucked-up spine, not a twitching lemon-sized cord tumor, and the pain is like background noise at this point. I do exercises, have different braces as needed, and a few drugs that I use only when necessary because I don't want to develop a tolerance.  Diagnose & recover/manage properly, don't ignore.  :fingershake:  Also, one's recovery rate from injury starts slowing down after about 20.  Nothing to be done about that - just a sad fact.

Damn, I can't type worth a shit!  I'm trying to keep all my nails long for my nephew's wedding on the 27th, so expect edits aplenty.  :P


Long nails? Why, so you can paint them black and freak out the family?
I like to go down to the playground and watch the kids run and jump and scream, because they don't know I'm only using blanks.

Modern anime is a stagnant cesspool of regurgitated ideas.

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Re: Your "OH, HOLY FUCK!!!" moment for the day
« Reply #24 on: Jan 19, 2008, 01:01:55 PM »
Fuuucck I can't read more than a couple of comments everytime I try to read this thread :'(