Author Topic: To you guys, I leave my entire vast... (Read 6967 times)

The D · « **on:** Jan 08, 2008, 10:05:19 PM »

Boot to the head.

Last Saturday I went to a party that made up for the crappy party I went to on New Years. There was 20-25 people packed into a tiny one bedroom apartment. A couple people went to the store and bought $100 worth of liquor to mix drinks with. Someone else brought some Everclear, 98% alcohol. We played Retard Wars Battlefront 2 and watched videos off a guy's video iPod including the one above, which one guy thought was so funny he fell off his chair laughing (he was probably drunk, he's black and later said loudly "I'm the only nigger in here, if anyone hasn't noticed, I'm a lot more tanned than everyone else.")

Saw little action. There was a slightly chubby redhead which was on top of all the guys there, riding guys and squishing in between guys and humping legs and shit. But she had a boyfriend. There were two chicks who were smoking, so that's a major turnoff. One girl looked like a younger version of my evil stepmother, so no. The quiet girl in the corner had a boyfriend too, he was tied up and thrown in a closet for a little while, so I didn't do much more than talk to her for a little bit. Hell, even this one chick that was twice as fat as both Maggie and Beck combined had a boyfriend. For some reason she started crying and I felt sorry for her so I gave her a big hug for a while.

No sex for me. There was possibly some kinky shit/orgy going on later that night in the only bedroom, but I wasn't invited because the owners didn't know me well enough and they closed the door on me. But I'll have to go to their next party, maybe I'll be lucky then.

IDE · « **Reply #1 on:** Jan 08, 2008, 10:08:17 PM »

I can picture a manga scene of the door being shut in your face and you doing the little puff cloud exhale and sweat drop.

The D · « **Reply #2 on:** Jan 08, 2008, 10:20:09 PM »

It may have been for the best. Since the ratio of female to males was 1:3, there may have been some gay assrape going on in that orgy.

Bitch · « **Reply #3 on:** Jan 08, 2008, 11:11:37 PM »

Dude, Beck isn't fat. And if you've never seen me in person, or even a picture of me, you can't say I am either. Which I'm not.

Derrick · « **Reply #4 on:** Jan 09, 2008, 05:14:36 AM »

Quote from: Bitch on Jan 08, 2008, 11:11:37 PM

Dude, Beck isn't fat. And if you've never seen me in person, or even a picture of me, you can't say I am either. Which I'm not.

Post some candids of yourself, perhaps pressed up against glass?

IDE · « **Reply #5 on:** Jan 09, 2008, 10:25:57 AM »

The D · « **Reply #6 on:** Jan 09, 2008, 03:37:47 PM »

Quote from: Bitch on Jan 08, 2008, 11:11:37 PM

Dude, Beck isn't fat. And if you've never seen me in person, or even a picture of me, you can't say I am either. Which I'm not.

Quote from: Bitch

I lost my virginity less than a year ago, and I agree. Certain times of the month, I want it so bad I feel like crashing a frat party. Except I'm too fat to do dumb frat guys, so I'd have to do either a redneck or an ugly gross hobo. Neither is an option, obviously, so... :\

You're not?

I assumed both Nuri and Bitch and Merla were "big boned"... not skinny but not huge either. When I say this chick was twice as fat (or big) as Nuri and Bitch, I mean if you glued yourselves together you'd get the approximate size of the girl at the party. Or half the size of the girl at the party. She was huge though, and her clothes were stained as if she only washed clothes once a month.

Sam · « **Reply #7 on:** Jan 09, 2008, 03:46:22 PM »

When you're done with that shovel, can I used it?

Bitch · « **Reply #8 on:** Jan 09, 2008, 06:07:42 PM »

I said I'm too fat to do frat guys, which means I wear above a size 4. :|

Faye Valentine · « **Reply #9 on:** Jan 10, 2008, 11:13:20 PM »

SO MANY WRONG THINGS about D's post. How can you call Nuri and Bitch fat? TO start with, you DON'T call a girl fat even if they are fat, and they are deeefinitely not fat. How unpolite you are, really. Second, you don't call a girl fat, period! (at least one you interact with almost everyday on the board)

On the plus side, +2 cool points to them for having Everclear, that shit is fucking nuts.

B E C K · « **Reply #10 on:** Jan 11, 2008, 11:11:43 AM »

Sam · « **Reply #11 on:** Jan 11, 2008, 03:35:12 PM »

Doug, I doubt you meant anything bad, but I highly encourage you to just clam up now and avoid causing any further damage.

Rama · « **Reply #12 on:** Jan 14, 2008, 12:13:36 AM »

Well now that you've all fed the Doug, he's sure to stick around.

The D · « **Reply #13 on:** Jan 14, 2008, 11:43:56 PM »

Surprised no one has mentioned the video in my first post, even if it's kinda old.

B E C K · « **Reply #14 on:** Jan 15, 2008, 04:33:17 PM »

I never watch anything you post.

Rama · « **Reply #15 on:** Jan 15, 2008, 10:54:13 PM »

Me either.

IDE · « **Reply #16 on:** Jan 15, 2008, 11:01:14 PM »

If I had ever played the phoenix wright games that might have been funnier to me. As it stands I just associate E with that character.

Wickedly Yours E · « **Reply #17 on:** Jan 16, 2008, 08:47:26 AM »

OBJECTION!
I'm much more like Solid Snake. ...Or Larry Butz depending on who you ask.

Merla · « **Reply #18 on:** Jan 16, 2008, 03:49:46 PM »

F*ck You Doug!

And you wonder why you are not allowed in my owlery.

Rama · « **Reply #19 on:** Jan 16, 2008, 10:43:29 PM »

Hee Hee...."Owlery" sounds like code for you vagina.

Faye Valentine · « **Reply #20 on:** Jan 19, 2008, 01:10:03 PM »

Quote from: Rama on Jan 16, 2008, 10:43:29 PM

Hee Hee...."Owlery" sounds like code for you vagina.
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B E C K · « **Reply #21 on:** Jan 19, 2008, 07:04:45 PM »

I thought "owlery" was her ass. But I guess being a vag makes more sense.