Tell me about it. I started trying to get my tubes tied when I was 33 and was constantly told, "You'll change your miiiiind....". I was beginning to think people would be pounding on my coffin lid: "SURE YOU DON'T WANT ANY KIDS?"
The point I didn't make very well in the "bastard" reference is that in those ancient times, we had a behavior regulator in the matter of unwed pregnancy that seems to have completely disappeared called "shame". It wasn't considered cool, trendy, sweet or cute to get knocked up on the wrong side of the wedding ring - it was a disaster; therefore, all the sexually-active people I knew made every effort, whether it was stealing condoms out of dad's stash, bribing someone older to buy them or getting to Planned Parenthood somehow, NOT to get pregnant.
Babies are increasingly viewed as an accessory now, and morons like Fantasia waxing poetic about being an unmarried "babymama" never seem to get around to addressing how difficult the reality will be. Getting pregnant, for many girls, is a way of getting attention, parties and presents. They are completely unprepared for the baby who won't stop screaming for hours on end because it has colic or is teething. They can't go out and party like they used to. They don't lose the weight in a month. The supplies they got at the shower run out and they have to spend their own money or beg it off of relatives if they aren't working. The new wears off, and we have another baby shaken to death or showing up in the emergency room with broken bones from a "fall", or as happened here recently, no pecker because the minature daschund "jumped up on the bed and bit it off".
Anyone who wants to decrease the number of abortions needs to quit wasting time outside clinics and go home, find the numbers and addresses of their Congressional representatives and start nagging them for the following, to name a few:
REALISTIC sex education in school with attention given to pregnancy prevention and the costs involved with childrearing. "Financial difficulties" is the most common reason given at PP for abortions, and a leading factor in domestic violence and child abuse cases (Source, Children for Children's Art Auctions - Houston, a child abuse prevention group I'm proud to support).
Elimination of restrictions for gay and lesbian couples to adopt. According to the National Survey for Family Growth, the percentage of unmarried women placing children in the foster care/adoption system is less than 1%. Many women don't want to offer their children up for adoption for fear that no one will want it. At any given moment, there are over 100,000 kids waiting for adoption in the US - why deny people who WANT to be parents because they aren't June and Ward Cleaver? The perception that it's better for a kid to be raised by the foster care system instead of being in a stable home that just happens to be headed by a same-sex couple is bullshit. "Gay" doesn't rub off - neither does straight, for that matter. Every GLBT person in history is a result of some sort of heterosexual congress, whether in person or IVF.
On a similar note, one might drop a line to Brad & Angelina and suggest that she make one of the 10 kids they reportedly plan to adopt a home-grown one; maybe an older black child since the majority of the kids in the foster care system fit that category. Presently, overseas adoptions are quite the status symbol because, like an Aston-Martin, it proves that one is "successful", as if children were just some other things that high-profile figures acquire like Patek Philippe watches or Manolo Blahnik shoes.
Include birth control as a covered drug in EVERY state. I had to pay out-of-pocket for my pills every month, which I understand have gone up to over $50, because my company's insurance coverage is in Alabama.
Make emergency contraception more available, and DON'T let pharmacists refuse to dispense it in rural areas where going to another Walgreen's is an option! if the egg has been fertilized, Plan B WILL.NOT.WORK. It is NOT an abortion pill! How many times does that have to be said?!
And not that anyone can do much about this now, but here's an interesting bit of trivia: abortion rates were at the lowest point since Roe V. Wade during the middle-class fiscal prosperity of the Clinton era. Makes sense - the wealthy don't partonize middle/lower-class businesses and hire people from that demographic in the numbers the middle-class do. If one has a job and can afford rent, food, gas, etc., an unplanned pregnancy can turn into the unexpected blessing that everyone not in the potential mothers' shoes feels it should be. The wealthy will always have access to abortion and justification as to why they should be considered the exception to any restrictions or the ability to have the "little problem" taken care of elsewhere. Ironically, they are also the ones who could afford to keep the child with barely a dent in their wallets.
Believe me Schwig (and Sam!), I do not ridicule you for your stance. I understand your passion for your conviction - without splitting hairs about the subject of the comparison, Eddie and I are just as adamant about animal rescue and preventing abuse. We've been blessed with the financial ability to keep 9 cats and 4 dogs responsibly and in good health; all but 2 being rescues, and to contribute to numerous animal welfare charities. I know you have plans for kids made from things you happen to have lying around the house
I sincerely hope that you'll also have the financial means to adopt in the future. You'll make some lucky kids a great dad.
