Author Topic: Pirates of the Caribbean (Read 10654 times)

B E C K · « **on:** Jun 01, 2007, 02:11:43 PM »

As in "Fuck those Pirates of the Caribbean".

Yes, I am eventually planning to see this movie, probably after it has long since been on DVD. But I am annoyed, sirs, yes-- annoyed, that the bistro artsy-fartsy theater is showing this movie, thus ejecting "The Wind That Shakes The Barley"-- a film showing no where else in town-- from its screens after a paltry two weeks so it can accomidate Johnny Depp's swaggering ass for at least second week if not longer. Fuck that noise. 20 dozen theaters in town are showing Pirates. Jump on the bandwagon a little slower, why don't you. To their credit, no one under 18 was admitted the first week. To their discredit, no one under 18 was admitted the first week to a PG-13 film made PG-13 so people under 18 could be admitted to see it. The only fucking art theater in the city doesn't need to be showing fucking Pirates of the Caribbean that every other fucking theater is showing. The fucking End.

Rama · « **Reply #1 on:** Jun 01, 2007, 02:31:08 PM »

They'll proably made more off Pirates in that two weeks then The Wind That Shakes Barley would have made it's entire run. Now I know you think it sucks, but theaters are buisness and they have to make money to stay open, by running Pirates for a short time, they might make enough to keep that theater in Gay Jello Eating Cowboys for the next year or so.

B E C K · « **Reply #2 on:** Jun 01, 2007, 02:38:57 PM »

I realize that from a business standpoint, but from the view that the only art theater in town now showing big-business films, this is just sad. They could've given "The Wind That Shakes The Barley" one freakin' time slot. And this isn't some odd-ball theater either, this is one in several properties-- ALL of which are showing Pirates. I would accept it if Wind got shaken off for another limited run film but for fucking Pirates? That is not dope. Not dope at all.

Rama · « **Reply #3 on:** Jun 01, 2007, 02:42:27 PM »

I'm just saying that artys films arn't know for huge box office, and they need to pay for things. I'd only be worried about it if they throw off another movie for Transformers or something next month.

And if it's a part of a chain, then I'm sure sell outs of Pirates at the other theaters are what promoted this action. They don't like to turn masses of people away with money in there hands, so they just send them to another of their theaters. Mainly this one.

B E C K · « **Reply #4 on:** Jun 01, 2007, 03:33:58 PM »

If anything sold out it was the pre-sold tickets because this theater first had Pirates the week everyone else did.

They adverstise themselves as "art cinema", so they should be art cinema. They are only hurting their own image by giving in to a mainstream popcorn film I can go anywhere else in town to see. And furthermore, having Pirates and all of the other fodder in the rest of their theaters should mean that their art theater should be able to get by on substatially less. They're just being greedy. If they really wanted to make more money, they ought to examine this concept of being a cinerma bistro a little more carefully and have a more economic food selection instead 8.00 pizza slices and other rape-age concessions. There's a food court right outside, people have no reason in the world to pay that much for food when they can get virtually the same thing outside the door for half the price.

Frankly, adding Transformers wouldn't surprise me after this Pirates thing. A Target popped up next door and stealing a screen looks like nothing more than to drag in the strays coming from the Target.

IDE · « **Reply #5 on:** Jun 01, 2007, 08:20:00 PM »

Yarrr!
Art doesn't pay the bills.

B E C K · « **Reply #6 on:** Jun 01, 2007, 09:50:11 PM »

It almost never does. That's not the point. If they were so concerned about paying teh bills, they would've changed it from an art cinema to a regular theater and only show Spider-Man, Shrek, and Pirates. Don't call it an elephant if it has eight arms and lives under the sea.

IDE · « **Reply #7 on:** Jun 01, 2007, 11:07:30 PM »

But see they don't want to sell out completely they just need to make the mortgage!

It was just this one time baby!

I swear it will never happen again!

Rama · « **Reply #8 on:** Jun 02, 2007, 12:51:45 AM »

They don't call them, or I guess I should say us, starving artist for nothing.

B E C K · « **Reply #9 on:** Jun 02, 2007, 11:08:35 PM »

Yeah, I can jive with that. Starving sucks. I likes to eat!

Rama · « **Reply #10 on:** Jun 02, 2007, 11:28:49 PM »

As do I. Sometime more then once a day if I can manage it.

B E C K · « **Reply #11 on:** Jun 03, 2007, 08:44:01 PM »

Preach on, brotha!

Wickedly Yours E · « **Reply #12 on:** Jun 04, 2007, 08:33:20 AM »

I love the food.

Bernie AKA · « **Reply #13 on:** Jun 04, 2007, 03:28:19 PM »

At least one can get a decent martini at our art theatres. And Dove ice cream bars.

Every once in a while, an exclusive-run art film will blow the mainstream doors in. I think Blair Witch Project paid rent at the River Oaks for the next two years. They snagged Y Tu Mama Tambien for almost 3 months as well.

B E C K · « **Reply #14 on:** Jun 04, 2007, 10:37:26 PM »

Dude, I want a Dove icecream bar.

I remember when Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon came out. It came out in the artsy theater first and then it opened all over the place.

Rama · « **Reply #15 on:** Jun 04, 2007, 10:40:32 PM »

Quote from: Bernie AKA on Jun 04, 2007, 03:28:19 PM

I think Blair Witch Project paid rent at the River Oaks for the next two years.

Which is wrong, cause that movie was horrible.

B E C K · « **Reply #16 on:** Jun 05, 2007, 03:53:15 AM »

A stuffed animal facing the corner still kinda freaks me out.

B E C K · « **Reply #17 on:** Jun 05, 2007, 04:11:50 AM »

Barely qualified to be related, but meh.

B E C K · « **Reply #18 on:** Jun 15, 2007, 01:19:16 AM »

Fucking Ocean's Thirteen opened there and has been playing there along with Pirates every since. Two screens now taken by mainstream crap. Boo.

Bernie AKA · « **Reply #19 on:** Jun 18, 2007, 01:29:06 PM »

Weeeeel, I read some interesting shit over my ceviche at lunch today:

New Incredible Hulk movie starring Edward Norton....

Spider-Man 4 is in pre-production. I give this a Dancing Poo:

Magneto movie - Xavier is a soldier who helps liberate the Auschwitz camp Mags is imprisoned in. The fuck??? $:-\$

The Silver Surfer gets his own movie. Slaps to anyone who didn't see that coming.

..."Zack Snyder is following up the hugely popular 300 with a movie based on Alan Moore's graphic novel Watchmen. Keanu Reeves and Jude Law are rumored to be in talks to star."

Though I can easily see Jude as Ozymandias, the sound of me not holding my breath is deafening.

B E C K · « **Reply #20 on:** Jun 18, 2007, 02:35:24 PM »

Quote from: Bernie AKA on Jun 18, 2007, 01:29:06 PM

Magneto movie - Xavier is a soldier who helps liberate the Auschwitz camp Mags is imprisoned in. The fuck??? $:-\$

Who the hell wants to see that? I'll just go rent fucking Schindler's list.

Rodent of Unusual Size · « **Reply #21 on:** Jun 19, 2007, 12:44:02 AM »

Quote from: Bernie AKA on Jun 18, 2007, 01:29:06 PM

New Incredible Hulk movie starring Edward Norton....

Yeah, I heard about this. It's basically going to disavow the first movie. Liv Tyler will be Betty Ross, Tim Roth will be Abomination.

Quote from: Bernie AKA on Jun 18, 2007, 01:29:06 PM

..."Zack Snyder is following up the hugely popular 300 with a movie based on Alan Moore's graphic novel Watchmen. Keanu Reeves and Jude Law are rumored to be in talks to star."

Though I can easily see Jude as Ozymandias, the sound of me not holding my breath is deafening.

I can't see Watchmen working on the big screen. Maybe as a short TV series, like an HBO special or something. But the chances of one of those getting the necessary budget to pull it off effectively is non-existant. But that's not to say they won't give it a shot.

Alan Moore has a thing about making his stuff into movies, and with Watchmen it's easy to understand. It came off in the comic medium, but in the live-action arena? Don't think so. However, the script David Hayter (Solid Snake) wrote for it was well thought of by Moore, so who knows?

Also, the rumor is that Gerard Butler will be Rorschach, but that has GOT to be bullshit...and you know why. He must be playing Dr. Manhattan, since his visual gimmick is being a bald, blue, naked guy. Wikipedia says Ron Perlman may play the Comedian...but it also says Tom Cruise wants to be Oxymandias

They could get the guy from 24 who played President Logan to play President Nixon.

Rama · « **Reply #22 on:** Jun 19, 2007, 06:37:55 AM »

I don't know...Watchmen had a lot of fat that could be cut to get down to movie length. That wouldn't sit well with some, but it could be done.

Bernie AKA · « **Reply #23 on:** Jun 19, 2007, 01:08:18 PM »

How many pages were devoted to that damn shipwreck comic with the guy eating the raw seagull?

That can go. Backstories like Rorschach's shrink and a lot of the original Minutemen stuff would have to be cut; just have the Comedian be the common link to the point the Crimebusters formation was attempted and we meet everyone - in fact, that's where I'd start the movie. And the chapter with Laurie & Doc on Mars was very warm & fuzzy, but could go as well.

Ron Perlman has the bulk, but the Comedian was supposed to be good-looking; kind of brutish movie-idol looks - thought I remembered a point to him looking like that, but maybe not. NOT Cruise as Ozymandias. I think Jude Law would pull off the condescending noblesse oblige beautifully. There had been some early talk around 1990-91 about Tim Burton directing, but he was linked to everything that came down the pipe after Batman. Would have been interesting, though - maybe he could have talked Danny Elfman into playing Rorschach before he started on the soundtrack.

Rodent of Unusual Size · « **Reply #24 on:** Jun 19, 2007, 04:35:24 PM »

There's a lot that can go, but it'll require substantial amounts of shifting since things there tend to be elaborately linked, and the intricacies are part of what make the final reveal so impressive.

Bernie AKA · « **Reply #25 on:** Jun 20, 2007, 01:38:07 PM »

So true. I was finding new details in the panels for years after I first read it. I finally got the graphic novel compilation because I was tired of having to unseal the bag for Vol. 3 after something in vol. 8 made me go "waitaminnit...."

Rodent of Unusual Size · « **Reply #26 on:** Jun 21, 2007, 01:11:01 AM »

I just loaned my sister-in-law my trade Monday night. She's already half-way through it and seems to be really into it.

When I get it back, I'm probably going to print out an annotations site and go panel by panel for the hell of it.

Bernie AKA · « **Reply #27 on:** Jun 21, 2007, 12:43:55 PM »

Every time some public figure who likes to tell everyone else how to live their lives is caught doing something he/she shouldn't have, I think, "Who watches the watchmen?" Not a major headline, but the judge who re-sentenced Miss Paris has been ratted out for for covering up the accident his wife had while driving with a suspended license.

Sometimes I hope there's an Ozymandias amongst us, able to orchestrate an event that will cut through all the different factors behaving like five-year-olds and underline that, as far as we know, there's no place else to go and we'd damn well better be at least marginally civil. But then, boring business lunches with bottles of Kendall-Jackson on the table do that to me.

Rodent of Unusual Size · « **Reply #28 on:** Jun 21, 2007, 01:32:32 PM »

I'd have probably done the same thing in his shoes. Things are always different when it comes to your folks.

The only thing about having an Ozymandias among us is the occasional psychic-blasting genetically engineered pseudo-space monster being dropped on New York from time to time.

B E C K · « **Reply #29 on:** Jun 22, 2007, 02:46:30 PM »

Rawr! I wanted to see "Jindabyne" and it's only showing at the theater in the waaay north part of town. Screw! Ocean's Crapteen should've been bumped off dammit. Maybe if I'm lucky, "Jindabyne"'ll make a quick stop before it disappears from the screens here forever.

I don't need to see "A Mighty Heart". I've seen spoilers. I guess since "A Mighty Heart" is also widely released, I should be pissed off about that one, too. But his head got cut off for Christ's sake. I think that alone warrants it a place in the art house theater.