Author Topic: TIME FOR A BITCHFEST! (Read 8432 times)

Derrick · « **on:** Apr 26, 2007, 11:58:54 PM »

HAPPY FRICKIN BIRTHDAY!

I'd get you a cake with a stripper in in, but I am afriad IDE would scare her away.

Bitch · « **Reply #1 on:** Apr 27, 2007, 12:25:20 AM »

Thankyoo!

The stripper wouldn't have time to get scared away. IDE would come within two feet of her and she'd die from the combined forces of every STD known to man, and a few he invented himself.

gwynn · « **Reply #2 on:** Apr 27, 2007, 12:57:16 AM »

WHoa youre getting up there. Legal and everything right? Damn. Thats all I can say.
H B D Lady!

Rama · « **Reply #3 on:** Apr 27, 2007, 02:49:45 AM »

You're making those of us that have been legal for almost a decade feel old.

IDE · « **Reply #4 on:** Apr 27, 2007, 02:59:16 AM »

LIES!

She would ask me to work for her stripper company as nearly every private party stripper that I've ever encountered has.

Whats with this STD talk! I'm not faye! I don't even get cold sores...which means most of you have 1 more std than me.

Derrick · « **Reply #5 on:** Apr 27, 2007, 10:44:22 AM »

I don't get coldsores o.o

I am perfectly healthy! My Doctor even said I have perfect blood pressure.

Wickedly Yours E · « **Reply #6 on:** Apr 27, 2007, 09:59:53 PM »

Lucky bastard.

B E C K · « **Reply #7 on:** Apr 27, 2007, 11:11:35 PM »

Feliz Cumpleanos, chica.

Quote

You're making those of us that have been legal for almost a decade feel old.

You might as well practice your hobble now, like I have.

joe · « **Reply #8 on:** Apr 28, 2007, 12:53:35 AM »

Whoops.

Happy belated b-day, Bitch.

Rama · « **Reply #9 on:** Apr 28, 2007, 02:32:11 AM »

Quote

Quote
You're making those of us that have been legal for almost a decade feel old.
You might as well practice your hobble now, like I have.

I've already become and expert at being a cranky son-of-a-bitch. I just need to move it to the front porch and add a good fist shake. But you have to work up to that kinda heavy lifting.

B E C K · « **Reply #10 on:** Apr 28, 2007, 05:19:15 PM »

List your birthday swag!

Bitch · « **Reply #11 on:** Apr 29, 2007, 12:18:28 AM »

Family:

One of those blocks of glass with stuff etched on the inside from my dad. Its a dragon, and it came with a really neat rotating lightup stand that I wish I could use as a coaster.

Lots of stuff to decorate my car, including fuzzy dice, a hula girl, magnetic bullet hole decals, a hood ornament, and a flashlight. That's probably only about half of what I got, though, I just can't remember all of it.

Friends:

Black messenger bag with flames on it. It has a zipper on the back with straps so you can turn it into a backpack. I still haven't filled the sumbitch up. This is a great achievement.

Really good headphones

Rolling Stones and Ozzy T-shirts

Fucking awesome black courderoy halter and camo jeans

Purple clippies

Cute black bra/panty set with pink trim and white and pink hearts

Small party with booze and laughing and awesome

Hot sex x 2

Bitch · « **Reply #12 on:** Apr 29, 2007, 01:38:49 AM »

I feel the need to add that no one actually got drunk. All we bought was a couple six-packs (one Mike's Cranberry and one Smirnoff Twisted Green Apple) and a smallish bottle of cheap vodka. We were also right across the street from a place called Maggie's Adult Beverages, and I liked the novelty. They were indeed Maggie's adult beverages. Tee hee

Also, the 2x hot sex was with only one person, and we've been together for a while and had hot sex many times before. I have to really clarifiy this part, lest people think I'm the next IDE.

B E C K · « **Reply #13 on:** Apr 29, 2007, 01:47:19 AM »

Damn, and I had that BDE alt-ID all ready to go!

Derrick · « **Reply #14 on:** Apr 29, 2007, 01:49:15 AM »

I demand photos of you in your new stuff!

Bitch · « **Reply #15 on:** Apr 29, 2007, 02:06:40 AM »

A pox on you, Nuri. I'm not even 23 yet!

Tom, maybe. I need to upload new pictures, anyway, since the last one I uploaded did nothing to show off my hawtness and instead showed off my awful haircut and huge glasses. And I will have absolutely none of that. I did a lot of work to get even to this level of sexiness, and I want all the icky boys who keep hitting on my myspace profile to know exactly what they're missing. Only, not all of it.

Faye Valentine · « **Reply #16 on:** Apr 29, 2007, 09:58:07 AM »

Quote

Damn, and I had that BDE alt-ID all ready to go!

I thought Bitch was a lesbian.

How fucking old I feel now, especially since I think that when I started posting here she was what, 14? goddamn.

B E C K · « **Reply #17 on:** Apr 30, 2007, 12:38:54 AM »

Merla said something along those lines, too.

I thought she was just bi-curious.

I want to see your MySpace, Bitchy!

Rama · « **Reply #18 on:** Apr 30, 2007, 01:53:06 AM »

Quote

Quote
Damn, and I had that BDE alt-ID all ready to go!
I thought Bitch was a lesbian.

How fucking old I feel now, especially since I think that when I started posting here she was what, 14? goddamn.

Now Faye...you only feel old, cause you are old.

Faye Valentine · « **Reply #19 on:** Apr 30, 2007, 06:01:34 AM »

How dare you! You are older than me!

Derrick · « **Reply #20 on:** Apr 30, 2007, 01:48:49 PM »

But we are men, we don't really get old. We just get fat and bald, both of which can be fixed.

B E C K · « **Reply #21 on:** Apr 30, 2007, 01:53:31 PM »

Yeah Faye, men don't care as much because they can always get rich and have that shit fixed. It's women who are treated like cars and traded in when their tires sag. You're beginning to feel your depreciation.

Rama · « **Reply #22 on:** Apr 30, 2007, 02:34:23 PM »

Plus there is also the chance that we will get sexier with age, like Harrison Ford and Sean Conery did. Did you know Patrick Stewart is like 75 years old?

Derrick · « **Reply #23 on:** Apr 30, 2007, 03:57:58 PM »

I'd fuck all three of them.

B E C K · « **Reply #24 on:** Apr 30, 2007, 04:18:55 PM »

I second the motion.

There aren't many hot old chicks. Sofia Loren and Raquel Welch are the only ones in that range I can think of. Although if Harrison Ford gets another earring, I'll include him on that list as well. Har.

IDE · « **Reply #25 on:** Apr 30, 2007, 04:45:18 PM »

Now that I've gotten my master's degree and am about to leave this town for LA I should post my real age on facebook, just to see what happens. Will there be an outcry of "omg I can't believe I hooked up with someone that old" or will looks win out over a number as they logically should?

Derrick · « **Reply #26 on:** Apr 30, 2007, 04:47:27 PM »

Let them live the lie.

IDE · « **Reply #27 on:** Apr 30, 2007, 05:00:13 PM »

Yeah that's probably what I'm going to do.

All but two of them (the 2 that are also graduating) are under the impression that I have a whole year of school left as well. This lets them think that something meaningful might happen since there's "time".

Bitch · « **Reply #28 on:** Apr 30, 2007, 07:40:10 PM »

Quote

Merla said something along those lines, too. I thought she was just bi-curious.

I want to see your MySpace, Bitchy!

Have fun?

B E C K · « **Reply #29 on:** Apr 30, 2007, 09:49:35 PM »

Yes. Nice boob shot. Nice use of transparency, too. Whether or not you did or didn't just use the skin from elsewhere. So many people have aborted that one, there has to be a ditch of corresponding fetuses somewhere. I shall friend thee.[doHTML] Keep an eye out for moi.[/doHTML]

I agree with tom. Chicks shallow enough not to give a dude the time of day, even you :b, due to age have it coming. Let them live the lie. Then after you're famous, they shall discover the truth one Wikipedia search and two minutes of math later. Then they'll edit you in a moment of denial and the cycle shall begin anew.