uno dos tres

[IDE]

I pounded out another 4'10" chick.  This one was white though. 

They're really fun but they can't handle it.

Trying on a size 5'1" on tuesday.

[IDE]

5'1" failure.

...if I won every time it would get boring anyway.


I've got 2 more in the works though!


Ass is stacked!
Tits like a hurricane!

[Chopper Face 69]

I pounded out another 4'10" chick.  This one was white though. 

4"10'?  Sounds like Zangief fucking Tinkerbell.

[IDE]

That's kind of how it was. 

Protip; Someone that small can't position themselves properly during doggy style with their legs spread apart.  Keep her legs together and put yours on the outside of hers to give them a proper rogering.

[B E C K]

[IDE]

Ok, yeah this is chronicles of my sexual exploits thread.

How you guys let it die in my absence is beyond reckoning. 

Anyways, tonight is the night.

[Fiero]

That's kind of how it was. 

Protip; Someone that small can't position themselves properly during doggy style with their legs spread apart.  Keep her legs together and put yours on the outside of hers to give them a proper rogering.

Surprisingly, I actually already knew this.

[IDE]

Well I did it, and I immediately lost interest afterwards.  I kind of feel bad, but at the same time I don't care.  The universe and my penis are both expanding.  These events are nearly beyond comprehension.  What is one more hymen busted amid the galaxies of vag yet to be expanded into.

[IDE]

I'm on a fucking rampage!  Literally!  M-M-M-M-MONSTER COMBO!  Since the break up I've fucked 1 30 yr old.  1 20 yr old.  1 32 yr old. 1 40 yr old (she still has a banging body), and another 24 yr old sucked my cock...terribly.  I mean how do you get to that age and not know how to...whatever. 

I've got a 22 yr old and 28 yr old lined up.

You know this really is just like riding a bike.

[IDE]

Just nailed the 22 yr old.  She said she normally doesn't hook up on the first date...

I feel like she was a whore so I didn't put it all the way in.  I made sure there was latex separating us at all times and it didn't even matter, she still came all over the place and my comforter is in the dirty laundry now.  All this time I didn't need to be using my whole dick! That's good to know cause I don't need to be rubbing crotches with these irresponsible swamp witches.

The final quarter of my dick will henceforward be held in reserve for shattering dimensional gates and repelling demigods.

[IDE]

It's as if a symphony ringing with heraldic fury is playing in my head as I vie to see how many women I can lie to and manipulate before this all comes crashing down in spectacular fashion!  I'm not going to bother counting them until I'm sure I've passed 10 but we're getting there!  I am in my element once more! 

IDE
Chaotic Good Berserker

[Rumble]

Cool story, bro

[IDE]

Coolest ever bro

[IDE]

I'm about to bang a 29 yr old psychotherapist.  You'd think they could see past my bullshit but their jedi mind tricks are no match for my sith dick slangin.

[Fiero]

I banged a 27 year old. She was tied up, but it was still pretty awesome.

[Rama]

Should I high five you for the kink...or call the police? Just need to be clear how this went down.

[Rumble]

I'm too scared to bang my gf, because I strongly suspect she stopped taking her birth control pills

[Chopper Face 69]

Anal, oral, pulling out.  Problem solved.

[Rama]

In that order? That doesn't sound right.

[Faye Valentine]

Anal, oral, pulling out.  Problem solved.

lmao

[Faye Valentine]

I'm too scared to bang my gf, because I strongly suspect she stopped taking her birth control pills

Rumbly if shes doing that without telling you with the sole purpose of getting pregnant then thats fucked up.
Learn from Simon Cowell and my dumbass father. If you dont want kids 1) dont stick your dick in crazy and 2) cut off your balls

[Fiero]

I'm too scared to bang my gf, because I strongly suspect she stopped taking her birth control pills

Rumbly if shes doing that without telling you with the sole purpose of getting pregnant then thats fucked up.
Learn from Simon Cowell and my dumbass father. If you dont want kids 1) dont stick your dick in crazy and 2) cut off your balls

Your father cut off his balls?

[Fiero]

[Rumble]

I'm too scared to bang my gf, because I strongly suspect she stopped taking her birth control pills

Rumbly if shes doing that without telling you with the sole purpose of getting pregnant then thats fucked up.
Learn from Simon Cowell and my dumbass father. If you dont want kids 1) dont stick your dick in crazy and 2) cut off your balls

Aye, I know.
This child obsession of hers is really fucking me up though. I fear I'm gonna lose her over it.

Oh well, hey ho for now I'll take Adam's advice

[B E C K]

But just think of all the drunk babies you'll be missing out on.

[Faye Valentine]

Your father cut off his balls?

Just the insides.

Oh well, hey ho for now I'll take Adam's advice

]
Whos Adam? WAIT. Is Chopper, Adam? sailor moon loving-adam?

[Faye Valentine]

Fiero is dis u

[Chopper Face 69]

In that order? That doesn't sound right.

As long as you wash but yeah that seems a bit backwards.  I'd do oral, anal, pulling out optionally.

This child obsession of hers is really fucking me up though. I fear I'm gonna lose her over it.

Oh well, hey ho for now I'll take Adam's advice

Nice.  My other advice would be to get out.  That's what I did.  It cost me a lot but I'm doing much better now.  Most women will want kids though.  Good luck on finding one that doesn't.

Whos Adam? WAIT. Is Chopper, Adam? sailor moon loving-adam?

w0rd.  Adam Rulz!

[Fiero]

Fiero is dis u

I got to "vegan vaginas" before I couldn't take it anymore and closed the tab.

[Fiero]

In that order? That doesn't sound right.

As long as you wash but yeah that seems a bit backwards.  I'd do oral, anal, pulling out optionally.

Remember to watch for the drip. I have at least one friend that got a girl pregnant doing it in the butt.