Screw Randy Quaid.
A generous offer, but Randy Quaid does not need, nor does he want, your pity sex. Quaid is a player. He is like Don Juan, Romeo and Tom Jones all wrapped up into one and covered with a creamy manly frosting. He could have any woman he wanted, but he abstains from sex. He re-channels all that sexual energy into his performance, which is why he is one of, dare I say…THE GREATEST, actors of our time. Too look upon him while working his craft is to look upon the physical embodiment of all the muses in heaven. It will take your breath away.
"I don't know why they call this stuff hamburger helper. It does just fine by itself, huh? I like it better than tuna helper myself, don't you, Clark?"