Author Topic: Flew to Arizona (Read 11656 times)

Dagurasu · « **on:** May 22, 2006, 04:30:36 PM »

I finally convinced my uncle that there was no way in hell I'd move to Phoenix unless I went down there first to see if it's a good idea, so he used his sister's miles and got me a plane ticket for the day after I posted.

I spent the time looking up jobs, but it wasn't hard. I hate Michigan's job market... I fill out 30 applications and get 2 interviews. In Arizona, the McD's hands you an application with your Big Mac. I got an immediate interview at one place, a call the day after I filled out an app from Wallmart, I had an agency tell me they could get me a $10 job by next week, and even a bank said they'd hire me.

Housing's somewhat more expensive though. The town he lives in is one of those planned communities, the streets are laid out in a grid, the neighborhoods are all surrounded by walls (some have gates), all the houses are a tan color (called Mesa Beige) with red tile roofs... and the neighborhoods all have clubhouses with tennis courts and spas. Cheapest price for a house would be $250. I could go with a student apartment or try living in a illegal immigrant infested neighborhood and just dodge the bullets.

The area has nice tech schools though.

The real reason he wants me down there though is because he thinks I have the maturity of a child and he wants to force me to "grow up and get it". This is a guy with a business administration degree so normally I'd trust him, but I'm in doubt here. I'm not saying I'm as mature as most people my age, I'm not, but I think he's underestimating me.

For example, I brought along the fourth HP book to read on the plane. He told me he hasn't read a novel in 20 years and asked me if the book did anything to improve my life. Said it was a waste of time. He also tells me TV, movies, and video games are also a waste of time, yet watches Dr. Who and SG1. When I tried to update my journal, he said online blogs were childish and a waste of time, not to mention risky if an employer finds them (true, but I never use my full name on mine). That's why I didn't bother coming here while I was at his house, he'd call this place childish and a waste of time too (he does have a point though

). When I said one of the things I would miss about MI would be my friends, he asked if my friends did stuff for me like he did, like give me money to pay off legal fees or help me find a job, as if my friends owed me shit. He said that my use of "wishy washy" words like maybe, perhaps, supposedly was childish. He felt I was immature because I didn't have any concrete goals for 5-10 years in the future like a proper businessman, that I should know exactly where I'm going and I should work my ass off to get there. He even bought me a bunch of "success" books from a guy named Stephen Covey.

I'm not sure what I'm going to do now. Arizona has really good job oppertunity, but I like the climate and nature of Michigan better. I'm worried that if I move to AZ, that like everyone else who's moved to AZ from up north, I'll never want to move back again. I'm also concerned about my uncle, who's not only a conservative christian but someone who's a businessman, telling me how to live my life even if I'm not living in his house. I know he has good intentions, I know he wants to help me, and I know I'm not the most mature or responsible person on the planet, but I hope he realizes that this is my life, my choices, and my future, and that he needs to respect that and not try to turn me into a businessman like he does.

B E C K · « **Reply #1 on:** May 22, 2006, 06:37:37 PM »

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The real reason he wants me down there though is because he thinks I have the maturity of a child

You're kidding.

Extra Zero · « **Reply #2 on:** May 22, 2006, 06:40:03 PM »

B E C K · « **Reply #3 on:** May 22, 2006, 06:47:51 PM »

Are you sure "maturity" doesn't equal "panties"?

Sam · « **Reply #4 on:** May 22, 2006, 09:45:16 PM »

Man, this post started so good, then in degraded into a typical bitchfest.

Extra Zero · « **Reply #5 on:** May 22, 2006, 10:17:24 PM »

Would you expect any less from Doug?

B E C K · « **Reply #6 on:** May 23, 2006, 05:36:11 PM »

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The area has nice tech schools though.

His ass should've just ended it there. But then he whined. Thus why his uncle believes him to have the panties of a child... I can almost hear him now: "A real man don't read Goblet of Fire, boy! At least not in public! Heh heh."

Faye Valentine · « **Reply #7 on:** May 24, 2006, 09:49:31 AM »

I love how nobody even asks about him and he comes and bitch to us. And then we bitch about him bitching and he bitches even more. It's the circle of life.

Sam · « **Reply #8 on:** May 24, 2006, 10:01:57 AM »

ll mocking aside, you should move to Arizona, DOug. At least for a few years.

Dagurasu · « **Reply #9 on:** May 24, 2006, 11:32:53 AM »

You know, I should have expected this from here. But I keep on posting thinking I might get sane answers out of you.... I wonder why I beat myself up like this all the time?

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ll mocking aside, you should move to Arizona, DOug. At least for a few years.

A few years will equal forever. Everyone who's moved to AZ from a northern state that I know of never moves back. They like it down there too much, for some odd reason.

If it's the job market it's understandable, it's a good place to start a career. I can't get a job around here. After 3 employment agencies I called this week, one refused to take me because I've been unemployed for more than 6 months, the other one had jobs that required experience or degrees/certificates, and the third one told me to fill out an application online. At least down there everyone and their dog wanted to hire me.

Bernie AKA · « **Reply #10 on:** May 24, 2006, 12:47:23 PM »

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and that he needs to respect that and not try to turn me into a businessman like he does.

I agree with Sam. I honestly cannot think of a field whether artistic, white, or blue collar, in which one could not benefit from receiving some working knowledge about how 21st century business philosophy & culture works. And you don't have to be turned into whatever negative concept you have of a businessman. I grew up wanting to be a businesswoman like my aunt because she always had time and money to do fun things unlike my homemaker mother. It doesn't have to be polo shirts, golf and ass-kissing anymore.

If you try it for a year, one of three things will happen:

* You'll hate it and move back, but will at least have the experience and a better idea of what you don't want to do.

* You'll like it enough to give it some more time.

* You'll love it and consider it the smartest thing you've done in a long time.

If still undecided, honestly consider the following: What better will you do in Detroit in that same year?

Rama · « **Reply #11 on:** May 24, 2006, 01:10:41 PM »

Yeah if everyone moves down there and likes it...then why don't you want to move down there? I don't get it.

Rodent of Unusual Size · « **Reply #12 on:** May 24, 2006, 02:08:19 PM »

I was going to type out a really long wordy post, but Bernie took care of it for me. You're in a win-win situation, here.

Of course, it wouldn't hurt you to tell your uncle that he could try removing the stick from his ass. Certainly not in those terms, though...disagreeing in an agreeable manner is a sign of maturity. But the fact is, you're going to have a hard time making ends meet if you're living on your own, and those things will probably just naturally take a back seat anyway. But don't fret over that too much.

B E C K · « **Reply #13 on:** May 24, 2006, 10:34:43 PM »

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You know, I should have expected this from here. But I keep on posting thinking I might get sane answers out of you.... I wonder why I beat myself up like this all the time?

Because you're an idiot.

Faye Valentine · « **Reply #14 on:** May 25, 2006, 07:23:59 AM »

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I was going to type out a really long wordy post, but Bernie took care of it for me. You're in a win-win situation, here.

Thank you Bernie!

Bernie · « **Reply #15 on:** May 25, 2006, 10:13:04 AM »

My work in this thread is done!

*flings back cape & flies out window*

Dagurasu · « **Reply #16 on:** May 25, 2006, 02:42:07 PM »

I imagine if Bernie was a superhero, she'd either be dressed in Dom gear, or as a wench.

I have a while to decide if I'll be moving or not anyway. Due to certain circumstances and stuff I have to deal with I wouldn't be able to move until at least August, which is when I'd want to move anyway to start school there. For instance, I'm taking a spring class I'm not about to drop.

My uncle has a point too. Reading Harry Potter or watching tv or playing video games is not going to get you a job or money. And I'm not exactly that mature either. I'm lazy, I procrastinate, I'm unmotivated, I'm irresponsible, I do things I want to do before things I should do half the time, I play video games instead of doing my homework, and I still live at home.

However, I have held jobs in the past, and have an associates degree and I'm working towards a bachelors with a 3.6 GPA. I may not have concrete goals like my uncle wants me to, but I do have goals. They include finding a career that I enjoy or at least don't hate, being able to balance my career and the things I want to do, and being able to do something to make the world a better place. I also had plans to be a writer, but those are on hold at the moment.

I think my biggest fear of growing up and getting a 9-5 job is being stuck in a job I hate, in a tiny cubicle, and not being able to do anything I want to do because my job takes up all my day/life.

Dagurasu · « **Reply #17 on:** May 25, 2006, 02:51:44 PM »

Also, I expected to become more responsible by forcing myself to live on my own. Having to pay bills and shop for food can do that to you. I just have to force myself to live on my own... Getting a job would help.

Rodent of Unusual Size · « **Reply #18 on:** May 25, 2006, 03:00:55 PM »

Dude, most folks that work do 8 hours a day, and most people don't particularly care for their job. Which for me is better than school in that, when the day's up, I can go home and do my thing and not worry about anything at work until the next day. No late night studying, no last minute homework, no hitting the lab to finish a project. And I get paid rather than having to pay for the privilege of worrying about stuff.

I do hate the 7-3:30 schedule. Starts too early, and I only get 30 minutes for lunch. But at least I have a lot of time left in the day to do stuff, like get a haircut, oil change, banking, etc.

But anyway. Your first goal is to budget and find out exactly how much you need to survive, cutting out extras you don't need. Then find a job that pays your bills, whether you like the work or not. These days, there's nothing wrong with taking a crappy job, because a job's a job. Alternatively, you could be a bum and thus completely miss the point.

Once you get a job that can pay your bills, do the work well, promptly, and with a good attitude...all while looking for a better job. Don't hold out for a job that you might get a few weeks or months later. You need to be working "now". Then you can look for something you like, pays more, more upward mobility, etc, and once the money starts coming in and you've got some savings, you can get off the macaroni and cheese and start enjoying life within your new means.

For most people, it's tough starting out. Be glad that, despite being potentially overbearing, that you have a relative nearby that can help you out. Success can be tough, but it's not impossible for most.

D · « **Reply #19 on:** May 25, 2006, 04:21:15 PM »

That's something else I forgot, a reason I feared moving down there.

My uncle will help, but only if I do what he wants me to do. He even said "You need to trust me and do things I tell you to do, if I tell you to jump off a cliff you need to trust that I'm doing it to help you."

This leads to the point that his family is rather conservatively religious. They once had a boarder, a friend of their oldest, 19 year old daughter. They no longer maintain active contact with this friend because she moved in with a guy, and that's against God. They don't want their children to have bad role models who fornicate and live with members of the opposite sex, so they're avoiding the girl and her boyfriend. They also have strict rules for their teens, they can't be with the opposite sex alone, for example.

My uncle's a guy who thinks he knows everything. He may be smart, but I fear he'll disown me because I listen to rock music, or play violent video games, or drink alcohol, or living with a female. All because he wants to protect his children from "sinful" behavior. How can he help me grow up if he can't differate between truth and religious belief? Will he be able to accept my point of view, or dismiss it as childish and ungodly and false?

Wickedly Yours E · « **Reply #20 on:** May 25, 2006, 08:03:27 PM »

...Be a man, not a boy.
Tell your uncle flat out. "I might move down there, and I appreciate any help you're willing to give, but dammit it's my life, not yours, and I do appreciate the occasional nudge/push in the right direction, I'm Not ALWAYS going to do exactly what you want me to do. That's how it's gonna be." If he cuts you off totally, to hell with him.

IDE · « **Reply #21 on:** May 25, 2006, 08:39:15 PM »

Apply to grad/law school with the quickness...don't ever join the real world.

Bernie AKA · « **Reply #22 on:** May 26, 2006, 10:24:57 AM »

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I imagine if Bernie was a superhero, she'd either be dressed in Dom gear, or as a wench.

Ooh, I like that - a cross between the two. Screw the cape. I'm stealing Kate Beckinsale's Van Helsing look.

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have an associates degree and I'm working towards a bachelors with a 3.6 GPA. I may not have concrete goals like my uncle wants me to, but I do have goals.

Good job! Oddly enough, that may be part of your uncle's issues. He sounds like a textbook type A personality - they have a very hard time with the concept of letting things evolve. Needless to say, most make lousy gardeners.

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They include finding a career that I enjoy or at least don't hate, being able to balance my career and the things I want to do, and being able to do something to make the world a better place. I also had plans to be a writer, but those are on hold at the moment. I think my biggest fear of growing up and getting a 9-5 job is being stuck in a job I hate, in a tiny cubicle, and not being able to do anything I want to do because my job takes up all my day/life.

Get comfy - this make take a while.

I can offer my perspective from 44 years on the planet, 24 of which have been spent firmly entrenched in corporate America and one of the most conservative white-collar industries there is: your job may take up most of your day, but it does NOT have to take up your life. Reread that sentence as many times as necessary.

Insurance has always been challenging. It's frequently not fun. Sometimes I have to give it more time than others, like during a big account crisis or when I have to go to the classes necessary to stay aware of the almost-daily changes in the industry. 30 hours are required every two years to maintain a license - last year, I logged over 100.

I also earn above the state standard and have 9 years with a company that has given me a 10% gross salary discretionary bonus every year. Twice, I've gotten 12.5% for effort above the call of duty. If any of the other 8 branches has a question about Texas personal lines, they're told to call me because I'm considered the company expert. I find that flattering as hell. I can also be a blatant political progressive, have Alucard & Snape figures on my desk instead of kid pictures, wear an anatomical heart pin on Valentine's Day and have my business cards offered by a stuffed black rat with red eyes. No one considers that odd for me. Get a reputation for doing your job well and as long as you don't blatantly offend or hurt anyone, your personality can be your own.

There will be co-workers who get away with murder, don't have a good work ethic, are assholes, etc. Maybe they're sleeping with the boss. Ignore them. Don't join their ranks. If you want to sleep with the boss, fine, but don't do it for the career - that invariably backfires after a while. If you have a career goal, great. Being right brain dominant, I have to have a purpose instead.

My career is not my life - it makes my life possible. I have all my evenings & weekends and sufficient funds to devote to my calling, which is animal rescue. I'm doing the hard-core fostering now with sick animals, giving the vaccine & antibiotic shots (which I will have to get over flinching when I do because I miss & stick myself - at least I won't get distemper) and preparing for the day when I get thoroughly burned out on insurance and walk, which is going to happen within the next 5-10 years. My next career will be animal care, and I already know that it will be triple the work and longer hours, but I'm going to love it. Other people's priorities will be different - maybe children or a huge house or travel - but the basic truth is the same. People need to work to live - if you live to work, that's your choice. I couldn't do it. I'm too lazy.

The notion that reading novels and having interests that don't make money or progress a career or whatever are a waste of time is a steaming crock. I predict Alzheimer’s for your uncle, as there's a huge chunk of his brain that apparently receives little stimulation. <_<

Whether you move or not won't change what you ultimately need to do if you want your life to progress. As with virtually anything in life, if you want the same results, do the same thing.

Now I'm going to crack to it as we're closing at 3 today. Early Happy Hour and a long weekend!

Dagurasu · « **Reply #23 on:** May 26, 2006, 03:23:03 PM »

Well like I said, my uncle has points. I'm not a shining pinnacle of maturity and success-oriented like most white collar high-paid businessmen. He is someone who owns his own stock business, volunteers for a city position (not a voted position, and not paid either), works with communities and businesses in his community.... and is currently $140k in debt.

I think he compares me to his oldest kids. He says the 15 year-old son is immature but I think he acts like a typical rebellious teen. His 19 year-old daughter graduates from high school this year, she was held back because she spends hours in front of the tv instead of homework and responsibility, and is immature for her age. (not to mention, in order to graduate high school in AZ, you have to pass a SAT-type test, which I think is gay.) He tends to expect more out of his children than he should, and he tends to flip his lid and scream at the oldest one, which is something he also did to me when he helped raise me as a kid, scream or yell at me and get red-faced angry. :angry: Don't expect perfection out of younger people.

Edit: idiots <_<

Ahem.

You have the good of moving:
-Great job market will allow me to try different jobs and find one I like
-I'll be able to try living on my own
-Good schools
-uncle will help me out

the bad:
-houses/living might be more expensive
-won't be around friends
-in a desert wasteland instead of a temperate forestland/farmland
-uncle may be too controlling and try to make me like him

I have a while to think about it, so that's good.

Faye Valentine · « **Reply #24 on:** May 26, 2006, 05:19:04 PM »

You are disgusting.

Sam · « **Reply #25 on:** May 26, 2006, 11:29:06 PM »

Once again you were SO CLOSE to having a normal, reasonable thread...and then you had to go and fuck it up.

B E C K · « **Reply #26 on:** May 28, 2006, 03:43:50 PM »

He edited that. Did I miss something?

Faye Valentine · « **Reply #27 on:** May 28, 2006, 04:22:38 PM »

he was talking about how hot his 16(or was it 14) year old cousin was, and how he would like to hit that

Evil Monkey-Tom · « **Reply #28 on:** May 28, 2006, 05:00:07 PM »

INCESTOPEDOLICIOUS!

IDE · « **Reply #29 on:** May 28, 2006, 06:15:28 PM »

Hey look what D brought back from AZ!