The Sphere
General Garbage => Tropical Paradise of Hard Shelled Fruits => Topic started by: B E C K on Dec 08, 2011, 08:14:44 PM
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(http://img.xcitefun.net/users/2011/06/251601,xcitefun-birthday018.gif)
This seemed appropriate.
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Yea yea, little girls, ect ect.
I'm now 30. I think little girls are a little too young for me now. :V
In any case I don't feel older than 20, except for the diabetes and occasional body pain. But it's weird that I'll be 40 in 10 years. I almost feel like I wasted the last 10 years as all I have is an associates degree in IT that I got earlier this year and still don't have a job for. I'd almost consider re-doing the last 10 years of my life.
Also, I'm surprised I'm older than IDE... if he's being truthful about his age, that is.
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He's not.
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Also, I'm surprised I'm older than IDE... if he's being truthful about his age, that is.
... if he's being truthful about his age, that is.
... if he's being truthful about his age
about his age
truthful
age
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What, he's not a woman is he?
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You sexist fuckbags! How dare you hold women down by saying that only they should lie about their ages! Next thing you assholes will be saying they shouldn't have equal representation in media and government! Nuri get in here and make level some ballyhoo at these ruffians for their archaic gender biases.
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and make level it so I can edit my posts!
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I did not say women SHOULD, I said that they DO.
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Do, should, whatever!
This is 2011! We should all be lying about our ages and leaving the toilet seat up.
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Do, should, whatever!
This is 2011! We should all be lying about our ages and leaving the toilet seat up.
I DO!
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But I don't like the seat up! :( Can't you just whiz in the bathtub and wash it down afterwards? :(
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Seat up? Seriously you guys. I mean how is a girl suppose to back into the bathroom blind folded with the lights off and NOT sit in water if you leave the seat up.
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You would think peeing in the shower would be the more egregious offense.
But no, it's time for women to take their rightful place as our equals and leave the seat up.
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Seat up? Seriously you guys. I mean how is a girl suppose to back into the bathroom blind folded with the lights off and NOT sit in water if you leave the seat up.
If you ever been in the next room when this happens you know it never gets old.
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Seat up? Seriously you guys. I mean how is a girl suppose to back into the bathroom blind folded with the lights off and NOT sit in water if you leave the seat up.
Why does the seat need to be up anyway? Can't you just aim for the tinier hole? I thought guys liked tinier holes. Hyuck.
You would think peeing in the shower would be the more egregious offense.
It's not. Making a girl desperate to take a piss have to touch a grody toilet seat with her hands is.
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We've touched the grody toilet for centuries! It's time that you stand by our toilet touching sides as our equals and partners!
Aim for the tinier hole? Seriously? Well yeah that's fine with me if you like sitting on pee splash...You don't deal with dudes in the bathroom on a regular basis huh?
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Hell no.
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Why does the seat need to be up anyway? Can't you just aim for the tinier hole? I thought guys liked tinier holes. Hyuck.
Yeah, but then if miss the tinnier hole cause you are like distracted by something out the window or something...then you have to clean up and if you don't then chicks bitch again. I've actually got in the habit of putting the whole thing down. Lid and all. Thus avoiding the leaving the seat up bitching, but still making the woman actually do something in bathroom. I may in fact be an evil genius.
It's not. Making a girl desperate to take a piss have to touch a grody toilet seat with her hands is.
So you don't want to put your hands on something that is fine to put your ass on?
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I didn't say all of that. Quit lyin'! Hey! You edited!
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And making a man desperate to take a piss have to touch a dirty toilet seat isn't?
The problem with the smaller hole is apparently we get piss everywhere or something, so if you want to sit on my piss while you piss, then I'm fine with that.
EDIT: 4 replies while I typed that? Damn!
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So you don't want to put your hands on something that is fine to put your ass on?
If it was just my ass and no other asses it wouldn't be an issue. But unless I grow a penis, that wouldn't be neccessary except to clean it.
And you know what, I completely forget my primary point of contention when it comes to putting the seat down. If you don't put it down with the lid, all of your gross flushy shit (assuming you flush) goes EVERYWHERE. Well, actually, it does anyway (http://msgboard.snopes.com/cgi-bin/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=get_topic;f=35;t=001754;p=0) but it grosses me out more to know the lid was up and fecal and pee-pee mist is going everywhere. Use the toilet, put down the lid (and seat with it). That's how I roll.
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You want the lid down!?
Yeah we'll do that as soon as you let us revoke women's suffrage.
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Hey, it's your toothbrush. Have fun putting a brush covered in shit-drops in your mouth.
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Any shit particles that were going to get on there already did while said shit was being taken.
But when you think of it that way, kinda makes you wonder why we keep anything that goes in our mouths in there.
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Can shit mist get through the door to a med. cabinet? Cause that's where I keep my toothbrush.
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That's smart. I think I'm going to start doing that too.
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Any shit particles that were going to get on there already did while said shit was being taken.
But when you think of it that way, kinda makes you wonder why we keep anything that goes in our mouths in there.
That's why nicer bathrooms have a separate door for the toilet portion.
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Can shit mist get through the door to a med. cabinet? Cause that's where I keep my toothbrush.
According to those people at the link I posted above, it apparently it can. But I'm certain it's still less poop than letting toothbrushes roam free-range. Here's the link again. Happy reading/brushing.
http://msgboard.snopes.com/cgi-bin/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=get_topic;f=35;t=001754;p=0
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The amount of poop is irrelevant! There's poop on your brush!
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The amount of poop is irrelevant! There's poop on your brush!
Try doing something about it.
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Like what? Wrap my brush in cellophane and have chicks asking questions about it?
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Like what? Wrap my brush in cellophane and have chicks asking questions about it?
Yes.
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They'll probably just assume you have it wrapped like that for your poopshoot.
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They'll probably just assume you have it wrapped like that for your poopshoot.
Well that would take all the fun of it.
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Are you suuuuuuure? :raiseeyebrow:
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I always liked the idea of a his and hers bath off the Master Bedroom. That way you don't have to worry about all the seat up/ seat down stuff...among other things.
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It's not. Making a girl desperate to take a piss have to touch a grody toilet seat with her hands is.
This is absurd. A guy has to raise the seat to piss so he's guaranteed to do the same. If he has to put it back down he has to touch it twice and the woman touches it zero times. That's unfair.
Can't you just aim for the tinier hole?
Yes. Do you mind sitting on the drops of piss that deviate from the stream?
it grosses me out more to know the lid was up and fecal and pee-pee mist is going everywhere.
No one shits with the seat up.
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Trying to get a guy to do something they are unwilling to do is pretty much modus operandi for the female sex.
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Same goes the other way, only instead of a large breadth of targets it's just penis in the mouth.
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Same goes the other way, only instead of a large breadth of targets it's just penis in the mouth.
I believe you are missing at least one other common target. Not all men want it, though.
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Can't you just aim for the tinier hole?
Yes. Do you mind sitting on the drops of piss that deviate from the stream?
Women do that shit, too, so there'd be no real difference. Pubes, piss, blood, too.
it grosses me out more to know the lid was up and fecal and pee-pee mist is going everywhere.
No one shits with the seat up.
Huh? I'm talking about shutting the lid before you flush. Where does shitting with the seat up come from?
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Can't you just aim for the tinier hole?
Yes. Do you mind sitting on the drops of piss that deviate from the stream?
Women do that shit, too, so there'd be no real difference. Pubes, piss, blood, too.
it grosses me out more to know the lid was up and fecal and pee-pee mist is going everywhere.
No one shits with the seat up.
Huh? I'm talking about shutting the lid before you flush. Where does shitting with the seat up come from?
Well that makes some more sense. But there's always going to be shit particles getting out while you're laying the pipe as well.
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I think this just all boils down too...Shit Happens.
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I think this just all boils down too...Shit Happens.
Hey, you should put that on a bumper sticker and sell it.
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Wait what do you mean "Women do that shit too..." I've never seen a woman leave anything on the seat. They're shooting it right into the water from the sitting position.
Do you understand what he's talking about?
It's the reason we have to put the seat up to begin with.
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Women leave all kinds of crap on the seat. I assume because these women are skanks. I'm talking about work and other public toilets and all but still. I don't know how the hell they do it either. I don't find them and ask.
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Is it because they're hovering?
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Some probably do hover.
But it's a cycle.
Because if they weren't hovering they might not feel so gross about all the shit on the seat because it wouldn't be there.
Maybe.
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Huh? I'm talking about shutting the lid before you flush. Where does shitting with the seat up come from?
Oh I thought you meant the seat, not the lid. Yeah I don't put the seat down unless the cats are around.
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What, like when they're over for a Sunday afternoon visit?
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Aw, I remember when my old kitty used to drink from the bowl. Good times. But one of our current ones decided he liked to pee on the grass-like carpet and now none of 'em are allowed in there anymore.
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What, like when they're over for a Sunday afternoon visit?
My cats have stuffed noses so I put them in the bathroom when I take my shower. Also they follow me in the bathroom sometimes. If there's a cat in the bathroom, I will put the lid down.
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Fine, fine, let's rename this D's Belated Cyber-Monday B-day Thread. We like recycling at this board.
(http://i83.photobucket.com/albums/j288/miller2348/myspace/comments/Happy_Birthday/images/happy-birthday-glitter-9.gif)
This seemed appropriate.
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My room mate's cat runs into the bathroom whenever I head there to take a shit.
It really bothers me. If I've got a train coming, then that train doesn't stop for cats.
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My cat Twiggy does that. I don't even see him actually do it, I just hear a "whoosh" and see the shower curtain billow as he scurries behind it.
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My daughter does that, especially in the mornings. She even cuts the paper toilet in pieces accordingly
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How old is your daughter now? I tend to lose track of the whole people aging thing.
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She's going to be 3 in March.
3 years of her life, 20 years of my youth sucked away
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THREE? Holy crap, tell her to slow down. Wasn't she just born? :o
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lol Id rather her be 3 already, thats when they "officially" start kindergarten
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paper toilet
What is a paper toilet?
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She obviously doesn't know how to use the three seashells yet.
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She obviously doesn't know how to use the three seashells yet.
:laugh:
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paper toilet
What is a paper toilet?
Its a toilet made out of paper, obviously
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Good to know origami has practical uses
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I can only make a drinking cup. I haven't graduated to toilet level. I guess I could use it as a toilet in desperate situations....
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If it is that desperate you better make two...just in case.
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Well, I was just thinking I'd get a large, thick piece of paper and make a big, really strong drinking cup.
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paper toilet
What is a paper toilet?
Its a toilet made out of paper, obviously
Okay, cool.
What is it's purpose?
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So you can recycle it later.
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I can only make a drinking cup. I haven't graduated to toilet level. I guess I could use it as a toilet in desperate situations....
Gurl, you can totally just get this http://www.go-girl.com
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I can only make a drinking cup. I haven't graduated to toilet level. I guess I could use it as a toilet in desperate situations....
Gurl, you can totally just get this http://www.go-girl.com
As gross as that is, I think it's a pretty cool invention.
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I got this for my younger nephew this Christmas. (http://www.amazon.com/Reliance-Products-Luggable-Portable-Gallon/dp/B000FIAPXO)
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If I need to use the luggable loo, I'll just thow a scoop of clumping cat litter in there to keep the stink down and absorb any liquid. I think my cats will be eyeing me rather funny.
Well, yeah, you're using a human litter box.
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So when you have to haul shit around...you REALLY have to haul shit around.
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It was a joke. He's bad to stay in the bathroom and read for an hour or so at a time. I gave him that so he could read anywhere anytime.
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Library Field Trip! :happy:
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It was a joke. He's bad to stay in the bathroom and read for an hour or so at a time. I gave him that so he could read anywhere anytime.
"stay in the bathroom and read for an hour or so at a time"
Yeah. He "reads".
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"stay in the bathroom and read for an hour or so at a time"
Yeah. He "reads".
Hmmm, how do I lol at that without looking guilty myself...
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It was a joke. He's bad to stay in the bathroom and read for an hour or so at a time. I gave him that so he could read anywhere anytime.
"stay in the bathroom and read for an hour or so at a time"
Yeah. He "reads".
I have actually read sitting on a toilet for about half an hour, maybe longer. I am entirely serious.
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It's hard to beat off to a Popular Mechanics magazine or Uncle John's Bathroom Reader.
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It was a joke. He's bad to stay in the bathroom and read for an hour or so at a time. I gave him that so he could read anywhere anytime.
"stay in the bathroom and read for an hour or so at a time"
Yeah. He "reads".
I have actually read sitting on a toilet for about half an hour, maybe longer. I am entirely serious.
Ha ha, I used to do that when I was about ten years younger. Just read a magazine or newspaper and let my bowel empty in its own good time.
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I read on the toilet. When I read LOTR the last time, I spent at least an hour a day on the crapper.
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I never do that. I do what I went in there to do and get out.
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I can't believe I just read all of this. I'm not exactly sure why my birthday threads become discussions on toilets and poo.
And where the fuck did the past year go?
This seemed appropriate.
Too old. :V
THREE? Holy crap, tell her to slow down. Wasn't she just born? :o
She's a mutant. In 5 years she will be big enough to crush entire buildings.
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Uncle John's Bathroom Reader.
I like reading through those books (a friend's relative buys every copy) but I'm always weary they'll be sprayed with nuri's 'fecal spray', or at least I'll find a pube in the book, or whoever was reading it had nasty hands.