Author Topic: coerced into going to fellowship meeting (Read 11498 times)

The D · « **on:** Feb 07, 2005, 10:53:38 PM »

For the past week, a coworker at work has been hassling me to go to her "Christian Fellowship" at her college. I told her no every time, but I had to ask her a favor, and the only way she would do it is if I went to this meeting. In order to get her to shut up, I've agreed.

I don't know why she thinks this group is the coolest thing. She talks about it all the time, how fun it is. All they do is sing hymns and listen to a pastor preach. Boring.

I'm not even sure why she wants me to go. She might have a crush on me, but I'm not interested in her (especially since her emo/goth glasses are such a turnoff). Or she thinks I'm a heathen and is trying to save my soul.

Maybe I can make the excuse that if I step in the room I'll catch on fire.

MegatronYES · « **Reply #1 on:** Feb 07, 2005, 10:57:09 PM »

The problem with thatis that Jesus is not the messiah because the very idea is an absurd and childish concept.

But maybe I'm just nitpicking.

B E C K · « **Reply #2 on:** Feb 07, 2005, 11:42:04 PM »

I feel ripped off. I thought this was gonna be like the Fellowship of the Ring.

ChelseySuzie · « **Reply #3 on:** Feb 08, 2005, 06:53:23 AM »

I thought Doug was joining a cult.

Merla · « **Reply #4 on:** Feb 08, 2005, 07:11:49 AM »

You should go. Yeah go and get saved or something.

Bernie AKA · « **Reply #5 on:** Feb 08, 2005, 04:35:41 PM »

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Maybe I can make the excuse that if I step in the room I'll catch on fire.

Too bad you're not a professional pyrotechnics stuntman. That would be amusing.

Evil Monkey-Tom · « **Reply #6 on:** Feb 08, 2005, 05:36:08 PM »

Go there and preach that Jesus was either gay or an alien (lotsa evidence for both), and see if she asks you again.

Phagey · « **Reply #7 on:** Feb 08, 2005, 06:50:27 PM »

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Go there and preach that Jesus was either gay or an alien (lotsa evidence for both), and see if she asks you again.

Pfff. Fuck no. Jesus was a robot and you know it.

Bitch · « **Reply #8 on:** Feb 09, 2005, 08:43:21 AM »

Jesus was the first international terrorist. You know it's true.

Phagey · « **Reply #9 on:** Feb 09, 2005, 01:38:12 PM »

Jesus was a gay alien robot terrorist! It has to be true, it's on the internet!

Bitch · « **Reply #10 on:** Feb 09, 2005, 01:50:11 PM »

ChelseySuzie · « **Reply #11 on:** Feb 09, 2005, 02:38:07 PM »

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Jesus was a gay alien robot terrorist! It has to be true, it's on the internet!

I believe Phage, because who would ever lie on the internet?

Phagey · « **Reply #12 on:** Feb 09, 2005, 05:33:47 PM »

Quote

Quote
Jesus was a gay alien robot terrorist! It has to be true, it's on the internet!
I believe Phage, because who would ever lie on the internet?

Precisely. Now if you send me 50 bucks I can share the secret of life with you, and remember, Phage would never lie to you.

Bitch · « **Reply #13 on:** Feb 09, 2005, 05:55:49 PM »

I'll tell you the answer to life, the universe, and everything for a hundred bucks.

B E C K · « **Reply #14 on:** Feb 09, 2005, 06:23:34 PM »

Bah! I have various online quizzes to tell me these things.

Faye Valentine · « **Reply #15 on:** Feb 09, 2005, 06:34:14 PM »

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I'll tell you the answer to life, the universe, and everything for a hundred bucks.

I'll do it for a bottle of smirnoff

MegatronYES · « **Reply #16 on:** Feb 10, 2005, 03:07:32 AM »

.....................................What else would yo do for a bottle of Smirnoff?

Evil Monkey-Tom · « **Reply #17 on:** Feb 10, 2005, 08:17:20 AM »

Watch the new Girls Gone Wild to find out. Hint, it involves either a drunk coed, a 12-inch cucumber, or a small mammal. GUESS WHICH ONE!!!

Bernie AKA · « **Reply #18 on:** Feb 10, 2005, 08:38:17 AM »

I'm guessing the cucumber will hold out for more money from Salads Gone Wild and vote for the coed. The mammal was at DS's birthday party and therefore has an alibi.

Rodent of Unusual Size · « **Reply #19 on:** Feb 10, 2005, 09:07:54 AM »

For a sqwerl, "gerbiling" takes a whole new meaning.

I can not corroborate his alibi. Toker Gerbil is OUT of the club.

The D · « **Reply #20 on:** Feb 10, 2005, 04:01:50 PM »

Meeting's tonight.

Gotta finish getting my fake demon wings and flamethrowers ready before I go.

ChelseySuzie · « **Reply #21 on:** Feb 10, 2005, 05:32:22 PM »

Glue little devil horns to your forehead and cover them up with a beanie.

And then pretend to get offended by something, pull the hat off and start shouting in foreign tongue.

Faye Valentine · « **Reply #22 on:** Feb 10, 2005, 08:38:50 PM »

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.....................................What else would yo do for a bottle of Smirnoff?

i sing

B E C K · « **Reply #23 on:** Feb 10, 2005, 11:18:43 PM »

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Meeting's tonight.

Gotta finish getting my fake demon wings and flamethrowers ready before I go.

Before you go? WHY? What happened to avoiding offending them and getting offended yourself and politely declining?

Extra Zero · « **Reply #24 on:** Feb 10, 2005, 11:43:41 PM »

*waits for dumb response.*

B E C K · « **Reply #25 on:** Feb 11, 2005, 12:16:41 AM »

*waits for subsequent smart ass replies to dumb response that result in whining*

Bernie AKA · « **Reply #26 on:** Feb 11, 2005, 08:42:55 AM »

He should have told her he was having menstrual cramps and cried if she wasn't sympathetic.

The D · « **Reply #27 on:** Feb 14, 2005, 02:48:03 PM »

It wasn't so dumb. They sang new age christian music and talked about not worrying about life and letting your life revolve around christ, blah blah.

I hope they don't expect me to come again, I'll just tell them I'm busy on Thursdays and make up some excuse. Like getting drunk and sleeping with gay guys...wonder how they'll take that?

Rodent of Unusual Size · « **Reply #28 on:** Feb 14, 2005, 03:11:18 PM »

Well, to quote Nancy Reagan, "just say no" to going at all. Who cares if you don't want to go?

Evil Monkey-Tom · « **Reply #29 on:** Feb 14, 2005, 03:29:18 PM »

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It wasn't so dumb. They sang new age christian music and talked about not worrying about life and letting your life revolve around christ, blah blah.

I hope they don't expect me to come again, I'll just tell them I'm busy on Thursdays and make up some excuse. Like getting drunk and sleeping with gay guys...wonder how they'll take that?

You do it too?