Author Topic: The Path To Glory (Read 27198 times)

Rama · « **Reply #120 on:** Jul 14, 2009, 12:22:58 AM »

IDE was a rolling stone.

IDE · « **Reply #121 on:** Jul 14, 2009, 05:02:30 AM »

Quote from: B E C K on Jul 13, 2009, 05:40:56 PM

Then I'm lost.

This is dorky chick whose kind of a whore at work. And decided that now would be a good time to stop being a whore hence not sleeping with or dating me.

B E C K · « **Reply #122 on:** Jul 14, 2009, 08:05:49 AM »

Maybe she's in the midst of a genital warts outbreak and is saving you for later.

IDE · « **Reply #123 on:** Jul 14, 2009, 03:06:52 PM »

Yes, this is what I suspect as well so she's out.

IDE · « **Reply #124 on:** Jul 14, 2009, 06:20:23 PM »

And new dorky chick is in! She knows every single quote that I spit out (that's not movie related, we have to work on that). She just got a boob job today, and at 5'1" she's so cute and little. I have the day off tomorrow so I'm going to bring her flowers and take care of her.

We haven't had sex yet, but I have some duct tape to put her back together afterwards.

I think I'm falling for her though so this will be the end of my mac'ing for now. For once I make a commitment I won't dishonor it. You don't fuck with the deep magic.

And yhes you may now await my inevitable "This all went to shit! All women are tawdry sea hags!" post.

Rodent of Unusual Size · « **Reply #125 on:** Jul 15, 2009, 01:14:33 AM »

Quote from: IDE on Jul 14, 2009, 06:20:23 PM

We haven't had sex yet, but I have some duct tape to put her back together afterwards.

Another classic (and classy!) IDE-ism for the record books.

IDE · « **Reply #126 on:** Jul 15, 2009, 06:48:36 AM »

y so called friend tells me he has girls over at his apartment to play beer pong. Turns out its this brittish chick that he's been trying to bang for over a month now and her gross friend. I tried keeping gross friend occupied for awhile but theres no way in hell I'd sell out the girl im seeing now. Anyways gross friend definitely wanted my cock, but I passed it up. Even if she wasn't that gross I would've done the same.

I'm going over to tiger's house tomorrow to take care of her and her swollen boobs. I wish she was better already so we could go see harry potter.

I wanted to yell out snape kills dumbledore at all the nerds lined up to see the movie, but I knew they already knew and wasn't going to risk my job (since I was dressed in full jesus cake battle armor).

IDE · « **Reply #127 on:** Jul 15, 2009, 06:49:14 AM »

2 gun shots just went off.

I'm in LA trick!

Derrick · « **Reply #128 on:** Jul 15, 2009, 10:51:09 AM »

Quote from: IDE on Jul 15, 2009, 06:48:36 AM

y so called friend tells me he has girls over at his apartment to play beer pong. Turns out its this brittish chick that he's been trying to bang for over a month now and her gross friend. I tried keeping gross friend occupied for awhile but theres no way in hell I'd sell out the girl im seeing now. Anyways gross friend definitely wanted my cock, but I passed it up. Even if she wasn't that gross I would've done the same.

There's nothing worse than having a woman, and then having another interested in you but she's someone you'd never ever want ever. It's like a step back and it makes you upset.

Rama · « **Reply #129 on:** Jul 15, 2009, 11:19:50 AM »

Oh there are worse things.

B E C K · « **Reply #130 on:** Jul 15, 2009, 08:24:35 PM »

Quote from: Derrick on Jul 15, 2009, 10:51:09 AM

There's nothing worse than having a woman, and then having another interested in you but she's someone you'd never ever want ever. It's like a step back and it makes you upset.

Wait, what? Someone translate. If "she's someone you'd never ever want ever", how the heck is that worse?

Rodent of Unusual Size · « **Reply #131 on:** Jul 16, 2009, 12:02:01 AM »

Because she might feel spurned and yell "rape" at IDE's workplace tomorrow. Or just for the fact that women only like takens.

IDE · « **Reply #132 on:** Jul 16, 2009, 05:33:01 AM »

The ley lines are resonating.

Today while I was with this girl alone for the first time she started crying and when I asked why she told me...

she's a virgin.

And furthermore she wants to give her virginity to me because I'm the nicest most wonderful person she's ever met.

Who dares to unwittingly sacrifice themselves upon my dark altar?

For you see I've never actually slept with a virgin. I busted a girl's hymen before but she wasn't a virgin.

This is the stuff of prophecy and I fear it may be my undoing.

"And she will be born of westernesse, bestowing upon him a gift of innocence..."

Derrick · « **Reply #133 on:** Jul 16, 2009, 04:57:51 PM »

You haven't popped a virgin? All that talk and not one red mark on the belt? Jesus.

Derrick · « **Reply #134 on:** Jul 16, 2009, 04:59:07 PM »

Quote from: B E C K on Jul 15, 2009, 08:24:35 PM

Quote from: Derrick on Jul 15, 2009, 10:51:09 AM
There's nothing worse than having a woman, and then having another interested in you but she's someone you'd never ever want ever. It's like a step back and it makes you upset.

Wait, what? Someone translate. If "she's someone you'd never ever want ever", how the heck is that worse?

Because it means you're now only attractive to uggos and fatties, to quote Bob Kelso. I love Bob Kelso, I wish I was his grandson, but his son is gayer than the host at the Cheesecake Factory. Which one? It really doesn't matter.

IDE · « **Reply #135 on:** Jul 17, 2009, 02:51:51 AM »

most of our hosts are hostesses.

theres this one little hot jew actress i wanna bang but I can't now...

I know this will seem insane, which is why I haven't told my offline friends yet, but I have a girlfriend now.

I don't know how this happened exactly. She kind of just walked in and was all...

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B E C K · « **Reply #136 on:** Jul 17, 2009, 12:52:38 PM »

I didn't know you were Spider-Man.

Rama · « **Reply #137 on:** Jul 17, 2009, 01:22:39 PM »

Well don't go making any deal with the devil to save Aunt May's life.

Merla · « **Reply #138 on:** Jul 17, 2009, 04:10:33 PM »

I curious to know why that British Chick's friend was gross? Was she just unattractive or was she actually gross as in a huge blob who didn't bath or something.

Derrick · « **Reply #139 on:** Jul 17, 2009, 04:21:52 PM »

Bad teeth and she probably smelled like spotted dick, which will give you a spotted dick.

IDE · « **Reply #140 on:** Jul 17, 2009, 09:38:50 PM »

The friend isn't a brit.

She's just an overweight ginger.

She's cool though kind of like that chick who plays the friend in American Pie.