Seasonal Humor

[Bernie AKA]

Top Ten Reasons Why Trick-Or-Treating Is Better Than Sex


10) You are guaranteed to get at least a little something in the sack.

9) If you get tired, you can wait 10 minutes and go at it again.

The uglier you look, the easier it is to get some.

7) You don't have to compliment the person who gives you some.

6) It's O.K. when the person you're with fantasizes you're someone else,
because you are.

5) Forty years from now you'll still enjoy candy.

4) If you don't like what you get, you can always go next door.

3) It doesn't matter if the kids hear you moaning and groaning.

2) Less guilt the morning after.

1) YOU CAN DO THE WHOLE NEIGHBORHOOD.
 

[MegatronYES]

Hee hee hee.

[Bitch]

Haha, that's great. Are you going trick-or-treating this year, Bernie?

[Evil Monkey-Tom]

Sweeeeeeeeeeeeeeet.

[blanktoe]

WE've been waiting for Bernie to get an avatar for 3 months and it ends up being a goddamn dog!! RIPOFF!!!!![/size]

[Fiero]

dogs are cool, dood!

[blanktoe]

i didnt say they werent.

[The D]

I didn't recognize her as bernie because of the avatar.

[Bitch]

Is that one of oyur dogs, Bernie?

[B E C K]

Ha ha, "do the whole neighborhood", that's great.  Not to mention you can do out and do entire other neighborhoods.  Heck when I was a kid, we even did the entire mall.

[Bernie AKA]

Are you going trick-or-treating this year, Bernie? 

Not in this hood.  Except for one blue & white house.  

WE've been waiting for Bernie to get an avatar for 3 months and it ends up being a goddamn dog!! RIPOFF!!!!!

 :angry: That goddamn dog is our darling Marlena.  She was our first Eskie who died of cancer.

 

*runs off weeping uncontrollably*

 

[Evil Monkey-Tom]

I think the dog is cute

They just wanted to see nipples.

[blanktoe]

It's not my fault! I didnt know the damn dog was dead...

[MegatronYES]

Ha ha, "do the whole neighborhood", that's great.  Not to mention you can do out and do entire other neighborhoods.  Heck when I was a kid, we even did the entire mall.

 <_< Oh, stop it.

[Bernie AKA]

I would have posted a current dog picture of Maki & Killian, but I'm pissed at them.  I go to PetSmart to get their formerly-favorite dog food, the duck & pasta kind that's about $1.15 for an 8 oz. can, right?  Before I put the food down, they're trying to root through the cat boxes, licking the floor for stray dust bunny fragments - put the food down, they're Mary-Kate Olsen.  :angry:  

[The D]

It's a darling cute dog.

Since you're an Integra Fangirl, i expected you to have an avatar of your favorite Integra picture.


Edit:
*still thinks the limit of 160 x 160 and 25k on avatars is a BIT small*  <_<

Second Edit:

*Thinks the 200 character limit on sigs is too damn small too. Wanted to put one or two more political bumper stickers in his sig, but is already at 198 characters with just the "Lick Bush" one.*  :angry:

[Bernie AKA]

Agree with the D man on limits!

I'm considering begging for permission to use this one, or perhaps this one.  Coherent concentration is so overrated.    

[B E C K]

Doug, why the heck do you need to cart around four images (one avatar and at least three bumper stickers) in every post?  Who besides you wants to scroll down for (or even load for that matter) all of that?  Just how many bytes do you want people to put up with just so that they can READ a post?  You have about 42 kb just right now.  Would you only be content if you forced me to load over a hundred just to read LOL or somethin'?

I don't think the avatar limit is small at all.  Firstly, who needs to navigate through posts with huge 250 x 250 avatars?  Not only will they likely be big in size, but in bytes.  I have a dial-up.  I'm not up for loading everybody's huge-ass 250 x 300 avatar as I try to navigate a thread, or going through huge signatures for that matter.  And even if you negotiated me on pixel size, you wouldn't get me on the bytes.  I'd still force you to reduce.  And it can be done.

Hey, even I pushed avatar size back in the day when I first started using boards and went to the Ass-spank.  I knew next to nothing on resizing and had a huge avatar despite it displaying at only 150 x 150.  Since being educated on what I was doing, I've always been mindful of resizing these days.  Most avatars CAN be adequately resized.  I use 20/20 by Light to do it, but if you need an online thing, I can't recommend this thing enough:

http://www.netmechanic.com/GIFBot/optimize-graphic.htm

(For the e-mail part, just put in an old e-mail you don't use anymore.  They probably just spam you or something but you don't have to chell it for anything so that's why I suggest an old one.)  Also, if you need something resized you could probably ask me about it and I'd do it for you.  And that offer goes for anyone.

But come on, this isn't a gallery.  Don't you think it's being a little unreasonable wanting to subject my poor dial-up to more data than you already have?  Looking at what you have...

 

...the only difference between what you're using and what I posted is 27 kb.  And you want me to give you more when you can't resize what you have?   :huh:  

[Bernie AKA]

And with that link, I withdraw my complaint.  Nuri comes through again!!!    

[The D]

I still think there should be longer sigs at least...

and 200 x 200 or 250 x 250 is reasonable if you keep the file size small, and you can have 250 x 250 pics under 50k.

[MegatronYES]

Oh, quit being such a cunt.  

[B E C K]

That better not be to me, Megan.  =b


And I messed up my last post.  The images I posted are at 27 kb LESS than what Doug is using.  Together they're about 14 kb, just a bit bigger than his current avatar *alone*.

and 200 x 200 or 250 x 250 is reasonable if you keep the file size small, and you can have 250 x 250 pics under 50k. 

Ha ha ha.  No.  And I think part of the point here is the IF you keep the file size small and you currently don't.  Maybe if this were a request from someone who consciously sized their images but I get the impression you don't.  You seem to have trouble with that now.

And I'm not going "under 50 kb", I'm going under or at my current limit.  It's adequate enough.  It really is.  I realize a 250 x 250 avatar could look really cool and all, but that requires more of the page taken up by an image and if at a larger file size it requires more time for the page to load.

 

Current Allowed Size vs. 250 x 250.  Now someone tell me who among you wants to see Doug with a 250 x 250 avatar?

[MegatronYES]

God damn this shit, Nuri.   :unsure: Who the fuck is that in that picture!?

[Bitch]

I thought 160 x 160 was big. And I think the limit on the sigs is probably to prevent sigs that take an entire page, which Doug would likely do if it was allowed.

[Max Con]

*Thinks the 200 character limit on sigs is too damn small too. Wanted to put one or two more political bumper stickers in his sig, but is already at 198 characters with just the "Lick Bush" one.*  :angry:

Bolded is the reason alone he shouldn't get what he wants.

[MegatronYES]

Anyway, D. You know damn well not a single person who ever visits here is going to vote for Bush. What exactly are you trying to get across?  :huh:

 

[B E C K]

God damn this shit, Nuri.   :unsure: Who the fuck is that in that picture!?

Who?  [doHTML]
Blue
[/doHTML] from Wolf's Rain?

[B E C K]

Anyway, D. You know damn well not a single person who ever visits here is going to vote for Bush. What exactly are you trying to get across?  :huh:

Not the majority in any case... not to forget the few that couldn't vote even if they wanted to.


And Bitch is right.  It's a "signature".  All you need is some text or an image, not your whole thesis.

[Evil Monkey-Tom]

The monkey doesn't need any bigger.  

[MegatronYES]

God damn this shit, Nuri.   :unsure: Who the fuck is that in that picture!?

Who?  [doHTML]
Blue
[/doHTML] from Wolf's Rain?

I don't know what the fuck Wolf's Rain is.