That's not the bad news. The bad news is once skankarella's out, they're paying her like a million bucks to tell her retardmo story on the Today show. "But Matt Lauer isn't invited because he dressed like me on Halloween. Boo hew hew." STFU. They should pay ME the million dollats. I'd tell her story:
Spoiled bitch keeps driving under the influence of either drugs or alky-hol, it doesn't matter, nobody cares, she's never getting rehab anyway. ("Isn't Rehab, like, a Muslim guy?") Then it's time to pay the fucking piper because cumbucket's PhD at finishing skewl thinks a "suspended license" is Malay for "That stoopid law about recklessly endangering innocent people on the road for your own miniscule gains only applies to teh poor! Great Spirit says to 'Go Drive-em, fuckahontas'!" Bitchy, hypocritical, yet heroic judge throws the book at her, which is tragic since the poor thing can barely read as it is. Slimy sheriff, bribed with a golden statue of himself and possibly peek at Kathy Hil
ton's old, rotting, diamond-encrusted snatch, frees bird to the Rura Penthe prison confines of her own luxury home. Shitling is then herded back like a lost sheep into teh klink. "Moooooooom!! It's not faiiiiirrrr!!!!! Bew hew hew!!" Parents momentarily cope with the slight possibility that they may not have been as stringent on their child-rearing skills as they should've, but then remember that they're rich and negoiate the number of Mexicans they need to buy to fix this. The End. Or
is it?
I could only wish.
