The Sphere

General Garbage => Tropical Paradise of Hard Shelled Fruits => Topic started by: Derrick on Apr 01, 2010, 05:23:07 AM

Title: I got into an accident two days ago.
Post by: Derrick on Apr 01, 2010, 05:23:07 AM
Right now I am typing with one arm. I was out driving during the record rains and my car skidded along the highway. It flipped and apparently my left side became crushed between the door and seat. They tried to save it, but I just lost it below the elbow. I don't know what to do now.


There is no emotion, there is peace.
There is no ignorance, there is knowledge.
There is no passion, there is serenity.
There is no death, there is the Force.
































































:tom:
Title: Re: I got into an accident two days ago.
Post by: Bernie AKA on Apr 01, 2010, 10:08:39 AM
Well, I couldn't resist my bishonen any longer and now I'm expecting.   You can adopt him/her as your personal helper.  :)
Title: Re: I got into an accident two days ago.
Post by: Rama on Apr 01, 2010, 01:10:45 PM
Right now I am also typing with one arm....
Title: Re: I got into an accident two days ago.
Post by: Bernie AKA on Apr 01, 2010, 01:32:35 PM
 :o  :raiseeyebrow:

*gets Rama a subscription to Amputee Sleazes*
Title: Re: I got into an accident two days ago.
Post by: Rama on Apr 01, 2010, 04:10:28 PM
Oh yeah...oil that stump. Alllllllllllllllllright.
Title: Re: I got into an accident two days ago.
Post by: Merla on Apr 01, 2010, 04:33:22 PM
Right now I am also typing with one arm....

Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!!!!!  A horrible image came to mind.


Did you guys hear about the new Starbucks' sizes, Plenta and Mirca.  Hahahaha!!

http://www.starbucks.com/blog/10113/starbucks-listens-to-customer-request-for-more-sizes.aspx
Title: Re: I got into an accident two days ago.
Post by: Derrick on Apr 01, 2010, 04:57:07 PM
I often type with one hand, but that's only because I am masturbating.
Title: Re: I got into an accident two days ago.
Post by: Fiero on Apr 01, 2010, 05:02:47 PM
Right now I am also typing with one arm....

Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!!!!!  A horrible image came to mind.


Did you guys hear about the new Starbucks' sizes, Plenta and Mirca.  Hahahaha!!

http://www.starbucks.com/blog/10113/starbucks-listens-to-customer-request-for-more-sizes.aspx

They are cancelling that program tomorrow.
Title: Re: I got into an accident two days ago.
Post by: Rama on Apr 01, 2010, 05:50:41 PM
Right now I am also typing with one arm....

Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!!!!!  A horrible image came to mind.


What she failed to say is that now she is also typing with one hand. You are so kinky girl.
Title: Re: I got into an accident two days ago.
Post by: Derrick on Apr 01, 2010, 08:36:45 PM
Women have wireless devices that render hands a liability.
Title: Re: I got into an accident two days ago.
Post by: Fiero on Apr 01, 2010, 08:47:41 PM
You can get those for dudes, too.
Title: Re: I got into an accident two days ago.
Post by: Rama on Apr 01, 2010, 10:33:49 PM
And how is that working out for ya?
Title: Re: I got into an accident two days ago.
Post by: Derrick on Apr 01, 2010, 10:40:46 PM
THEY MAKE THOSE! FUCK! Good thing sexshops are usually open 24-hours. This better not be an April Fool's Joke.
Title: Re: I got into an accident two days ago.
Post by: B E C K on Apr 02, 2010, 10:41:50 PM
The little devil on my shoulder told me to tell the debters calling in over at work that they owed several thousand dollars to their city/county and midway through their meltdown cheerily pipe in "April Fools!"  Then I thought better of it.
Title: Re: I got into an accident two days ago.
Post by: Derrick on Apr 03, 2010, 12:19:53 AM
Yeah, I think that would be illegal.
Title: Re: I got into an accident two days ago.
Post by: B E C K on Apr 04, 2010, 11:06:09 PM
Oh well, it was the thought that counts.
Title: Re: I got into an accident two days ago.
Post by: Derrick on Apr 05, 2010, 04:59:59 PM
Soon, that too will be illegal. Enjoy.
Title: Re: I got into an accident two days ago.
Post by: Fiero on Apr 05, 2010, 05:41:23 PM
Also, masturbation will be illegal.
Title: Re: I got into an accident two days ago.
Post by: Derrick on Apr 05, 2010, 10:25:49 PM
Like they can catch me. I haven't paid taxes for 3 years, I won't be caught floggin' the dolphin.
Title: Re: I got into an accident two days ago.
Post by: Fiero on Apr 05, 2010, 10:41:25 PM
Taxes will also be illegal. All of your money will go straight to the government, so taxes will not be repealed.
Title: Re: I got into an accident two days ago.
Post by: Faye Valentine on Apr 07, 2010, 08:49:06 AM
Right now I am also typing with one arm....

Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!!!!!  A horrible image came to mind.

I'm glad I'm not the only one who thought of the same thing lol
Title: Re: I got into an accident two days ago.
Post by: Fiero on Apr 07, 2010, 01:01:20 PM
That he had lost an arm?
Title: Re: I got into an accident two days ago.
Post by: Rama on Apr 07, 2010, 02:54:03 PM
Sorry if you had that misconception. What I was going for was that I was touching myself.
Title: Re: I got into an accident two days ago.
Post by: Bernie AKA on Apr 07, 2010, 04:03:19 PM
What I got was the thought of Derrick with one arm inspired the touching.
Title: Re: I got into an accident two days ago.
Post by: Rama on Apr 07, 2010, 04:14:03 PM
Oh it did.
Title: Re: I got into an accident two days ago.
Post by: Derrick on Apr 07, 2010, 09:10:16 PM
Stump sex is always awesome.
Title: Re: I got into an accident two days ago.
Post by: Bernie AKA on Apr 09, 2010, 03:14:19 PM
Better than socket sex?  Murry the Evil Skull used to swear by it.
Title: Re: I got into an accident two days ago.
Post by: Rama on Apr 09, 2010, 03:55:10 PM
That was a night I was not proud of...but he was just giving me that "come hither" look.
Title: Re: I got into an accident two days ago.
Post by: Derrick on Apr 09, 2010, 05:34:17 PM
I've been enjoying aural sex recently.
Title: Re: I got into an accident two days ago.
Post by: B E C K on Apr 09, 2010, 07:41:32 PM
I've been typing with one hand at work and I want to tell the people calling in to slow down giving me their info and stuff because I'm typing with one hand, but I already know how their dirty minds work.  BTW I use the other hand to press the ear piece against my ear because some of these people are hard to hear.
Title: Re: I got into an accident two days ago.
Post by: Fiero on Apr 09, 2010, 09:15:59 PM
Turn up the volume.
Title: Re: I got into an accident two days ago.
Post by: B E C K on Apr 09, 2010, 09:32:36 PM
It's already all the way up.
Title: Re: I got into an accident two days ago.
Post by: Fiero on Apr 09, 2010, 10:36:31 PM
Break it open and reprogram it to be louder like they did that one time on the IT Crowd, oh wait that was the vibrate, nevermind.
Title: Re: I got into an accident two days ago.
Post by: Derrick on Apr 09, 2010, 10:50:04 PM
I like when it vibrates. :tom:
Title: Re: I got into an accident two days ago.
Post by: Bernie AKA on Apr 09, 2010, 10:52:27 PM
Bet it could go up to eleven....
Title: Re: I got into an accident two days ago.
Post by: Faye Valentine on Apr 10, 2010, 07:14:06 AM
My iphone microphone/ear plugs stopped working a week after I got it. Fuckers.
Title: Re: I got into an accident two days ago.
Post by: B E C K on Apr 10, 2010, 12:59:19 PM
Even if I could somehow jack up the volume, I ain't going deaf on account of these people.
Title: Re: I got into an accident two days ago.
Post by: Rama on Apr 10, 2010, 04:35:05 PM
Bet it could go up to eleven....

Oh...Bernie beat me too it.
Title: Re: I got into an accident two days ago.
Post by: Derrick on Apr 11, 2010, 05:43:51 PM
My iphone microphone/ear plugs stopped working a week after I got it. Fuckers.

I'm so pissed that bluetooth headsets don't work with the iPhone. Apple can suck my balls.
Title: Re: I got into an accident two days ago.
Post by: Fiero on Apr 12, 2010, 02:52:16 PM
Bluetooth headphones do work with the iPhone, just not all of them.
Title: Re: I got into an accident two days ago.
Post by: Derrick on Apr 13, 2010, 10:14:05 AM
Guess which one I bought?
Title: Re: I got into an accident two days ago.
Post by: Fiero on Apr 13, 2010, 11:29:41 AM
The one that does not work. I knew long before I even thought of buying an iPhone that they had this sort of problem. It should not be surprising, this is Apple we are talking about.
Title: Re: I got into an accident two days ago.
Post by: Derrick on Apr 13, 2010, 11:49:58 AM
Indeed, fuck an apple.
Title: Re: I got into an accident two days ago.
Post by: Rama on Apr 13, 2010, 12:27:37 PM
But the iPhone is trendy and everyone has one. It must be the best right? That's why you guys are going to buy the iPad.
Title: Re: I got into an accident two days ago.
Post by: Fiero on Apr 13, 2010, 03:37:23 PM
I am not likely to buy an iPad unless I find a niche in my computer usage it can fill, which it will not. My iPhone, however, is the love of my life and I never want to ever be without it again. I CAN NOT WAIT FOR OS 4. Holy shit, MULTITASKING. Sort of.
Title: Re: I got into an accident two days ago.
Post by: Rama on Apr 13, 2010, 05:21:20 PM
It's OK. You won't need an iPad till you start to get your iPeriod.
Title: Re: I got into an accident two days ago.
Post by: Fiero on Apr 13, 2010, 08:42:16 PM
I think if I were in that sort of situation I would prefer an iTampon.
Title: Re: I got into an accident two days ago.
Post by: Rama on Apr 13, 2010, 11:58:15 PM
You would, you whore.
Title: Re: I got into an accident two days ago.
Post by: Derrick on Apr 14, 2010, 06:21:26 AM
LANGUAGE!
Title: Re: I got into an accident two days ago.
Post by: Fiero on Apr 14, 2010, 03:04:57 PM
WORDS!
Title: Re: I got into an accident two days ago.
Post by: Rama on Apr 14, 2010, 03:41:21 PM
TACOS!
Title: Re: I got into an accident two days ago.
Post by: Fiero on Apr 14, 2010, 08:26:45 PM
"I'M FULL!"
Title: Re: I got into an accident two days ago.
Post by: Faye Valentine on Apr 15, 2010, 06:50:07 AM
Every man I know is going to get an iPad when the next one comes out. The first one always sucks.
And I love my iphone too, im completely dependant on that goddamn thing.
Title: Re: I got into an accident two days ago.
Post by: Derrick on Apr 15, 2010, 08:49:15 AM
I'm happy enough with the iPhone and my laptop that I have no desire for something in the middle. I'll wait for the iGlasses.