The Sphere

General Garbage => Tropical Paradise of Hard Shelled Fruits => Topic started by: Merla on Oct 26, 2009, 03:14:14 PM

Title: Mother Nature killed my umbrella!
Post by: Merla on Oct 26, 2009, 03:14:14 PM
It has been raining cats and dogs all day long.  I'm coming to work and all of a sudden violent winds, where there were no violent winds before, not only inverted my brand new umbrella breaking it but spirited it away as well.   :o  Poor thing wasn't even a month old. Oh wells at least it was only Walmart and not Coach.
Title: Re: Mother Nature killed my umbrella!
Post by: Fiero on Oct 26, 2009, 04:11:11 PM
This is how I first read this post while paying somewhat more attention to my work-type things.

Quote from: Merla on Oct 26, 2009, 03:14:14 PM
I has beens raising cats and dogs all day long.

Sorry about the weather, its shit in Dallas, too.
Title: Re: Mother Nature killed my umbrella!
Post by: Rama on Oct 26, 2009, 04:42:36 PM
A memorial services will be held for the umbrella at the Henson-Holmes Funeral Home at 3 PM, with burial to follow.
Title: Re: Mother Nature killed my umbrella!
Post by: Derrick on Oct 26, 2009, 05:05:28 PM
Thank God you didn't use a poncho. They're not even US citizens. They crossed the river to steal jobs American umbrellas do.

Don't mess with Totes.
Title: Re: Mother Nature killed my umbrella!
Post by: B E C K on Oct 28, 2009, 09:50:56 AM
The body was never recovered!  I refuse to believe it's dead!
Title: Re: Mother Nature killed my umbrella!
Post by: Rama on Oct 28, 2009, 01:09:25 PM
The name on the tombstone only has one "L", that must mean he is still alive.
Title: Re: Mother Nature killed my umbrella!
Post by: Derrick on Oct 28, 2009, 02:48:16 PM
He is living in NO under an assumed alias.
Title: Re: Mother Nature killed my umbrella!
Post by: Fiero on Oct 28, 2009, 07:54:52 PM
You're all wrong. He was stolen by an alternate universe version of his father, Dr. Walter Umbrella.
Title: Re: Mother Nature killed my umbrella!
Post by: B E C K on Nov 02, 2009, 05:21:42 PM
Turns out a co-worker of Merla's witnessed the death.  Too bad he didn't film it.  Boo.
Title: Re: Mother Nature killed my umbrella!
Post by: Derrick on Nov 02, 2009, 05:29:23 PM
I could've jacked off to it? Who is this bastard so I can beat him up and then make him open a credit line with Bestbuy.
Title: Re: Mother Nature killed my umbrella!
Post by: Fiero on Nov 02, 2009, 05:39:28 PM
I got really confused about what was happening because I read Nuri's post and forgot what thread I was in.

It was just a fucking umbrella.
Title: Re: Mother Nature killed my umbrella!
Post by: B E C K on Nov 02, 2009, 05:46:32 PM
It wasn't just an umbrella!  It was a member of the family!  It was part of a potential snuff film for Tom-Derrick to whack off to!  Show some respect, young man!
Title: Re: Mother Nature killed my umbrella!
Post by: Fiero on Nov 02, 2009, 05:48:45 PM
Well, shit, I thought someone actually died and I had missed it.
Title: Re: Mother Nature killed my umbrella!
Post by: B E C K on Nov 02, 2009, 05:53:20 PM
Did you really not know she's my sister?
Title: Re: Mother Nature killed my umbrella!
Post by: Fiero on Nov 02, 2009, 05:55:32 PM
No, I really don't know your sister.

I thought we had lost another dear celebrity for half a second.
Title: Re: Mother Nature killed my umbrella!
Post by: B E C K on Nov 02, 2009, 06:00:53 PM
Dammit, if I had known, I would've started a massive internets battle with her for shits.
Title: Re: Mother Nature killed my umbrella!
Post by: Derrick on Nov 02, 2009, 06:01:38 PM
But most of us aren't dense and do know you two are related.
Title: Re: Mother Nature killed my umbrella!
Post by: B E C K on Nov 02, 2009, 06:04:01 PM
Come on, he really wouldn't have to dense to not know.  I go to boards and ignore personal relationships among other posters all the time.
Title: Re: Mother Nature killed my umbrella!
Post by: Derrick on Nov 02, 2009, 06:11:31 PM
Don't I know it.

:(
Title: Re: Mother Nature killed my umbrella!
Post by: B E C K on Nov 02, 2009, 06:14:19 PM
Um, there, there?
Title: Re: Mother Nature killed my umbrella!
Post by: Fiero on Nov 02, 2009, 07:19:43 PM
I'm trying to remember how long ago it was that I didn't know.
Title: Re: Mother Nature killed my umbrella!
Post by: Rama on Nov 03, 2009, 11:19:20 AM
You know Derrick and I are brothers right?
Title: Re: Mother Nature killed my umbrella!
Post by: Derrick on Nov 03, 2009, 12:38:59 PM
Oh shit, really? Because, I've been binging alot lately and now I need a kidney. THIS SOLVES ALL OF OUR PROBLEMS!
Title: Re: Mother Nature killed my umbrella!
Post by: B E C K on Nov 03, 2009, 03:22:20 PM
In fact, if you roll the dice right, it'll solve yours twice.   >:D
Title: Re: Mother Nature killed my umbrella!
Post by: Rama on Nov 03, 2009, 04:30:31 PM
Jokes on you! I already sold them...both of them.
Title: Re: Mother Nature killed my umbrella!
Post by: Derrick on Nov 03, 2009, 06:42:48 PM
That cannot be healthy.
Title: Re: Mother Nature killed my umbrella!
Post by: B E C K on Nov 03, 2009, 08:06:42 PM
Well, he sure showed you.
Title: Re: Mother Nature killed my umbrella!
Post by: Derrick on Nov 03, 2009, 08:13:19 PM
And now he's vomitting something blackish-green. Should we call an ambulance?
Title: Re: Mother Nature killed my umbrella!
Post by: B E C K on Nov 03, 2009, 08:13:46 PM
Nah.  It's not like we can reap any kidneys in return.
Title: Re: Mother Nature killed my umbrella!
Post by: Derrick on Nov 03, 2009, 08:38:11 PM
But we can reap a liver. I like where this is going, Faye's cousin pays good money for organs.
Title: Re: Mother Nature killed my umbrella!
Post by: Rama on Nov 04, 2009, 02:04:34 AM
OCP was already planning on putting my brain in Robocop 2 anyway. Damn you NUKE...my one weakness.
Title: Re: Mother Nature killed my umbrella!
Post by: B E C K on Nov 05, 2009, 12:27:26 AM
Robocop 2 is my toaster.  It keeps burning Merla's bread, which is why it needs a new brain.
Title: Re: Mother Nature killed my umbrella!
Post by: Rama on Nov 05, 2009, 01:11:09 AM
Who is to say I wouldn't just burn her bread as well?
Title: Re: Mother Nature killed my umbrella!
Post by: B E C K on Nov 05, 2009, 01:15:54 PM
She could probably bribe you with some dork shit.
Title: Re: Mother Nature killed my umbrella!
Post by: Sam on Nov 05, 2009, 02:38:09 PM
In what horrible world is nerd feces suitable as currency?!   :poo:
:whack2:
(it kind of looks like he's flinging poo to me)
Title: Re: Mother Nature killed my umbrella!
Post by: Rama on Nov 05, 2009, 03:38:56 PM
Quote from: B E C K on Nov 05, 2009, 01:15:54 PM
She could probably bribe you with some dork shit.

I'm sure some kind of arrangement could be reached. I may want more then "dork shit" however.
Title: Re: Mother Nature killed my umbrella!
Post by: B E C K on Nov 05, 2009, 08:05:57 PM
Quote from: Sam on Nov 05, 2009, 02:38:09 PM
In what horrible world is nerd feces suitable as currency?!   :poo:
:whack2:
(it kind of looks like he's flinging poo to me)

I edited that very gif to do that years ago (with poo splash and everything), but the editor I had done it in was a free trial and apparently part of the "trial" was that it ruined your gif with a big old "SHITTY GIF EDITOR.COM" type logo right in the middle, completely negating the entire thing.
Title: Re: Mother Nature killed my umbrella!
Post by: The D on Nov 06, 2009, 02:38:51 PM
Life killed my grandfather last weekend
(that and the cancer)

I don't feel sad or depressed and I sure as hell wish people would stop feeling sorry for me and my "loss" and pitying me so damn much. I wasn't the one who had cancer or died.

Title: Re: Mother Nature killed my umbrella!
Post by: Rama on Nov 06, 2009, 03:35:30 PM
If it makes you feel better, I don't feel sorry for you at all.
Title: Re: Mother Nature killed my umbrella!
Post by: Derrick on Nov 07, 2009, 04:39:49 PM
Quote from: Dangerous D on Nov 06, 2009, 02:38:51 PM
Life killed my grandfather last weekend
(that and the cancer)

I don't feel sad or depressed and I sure as hell wish people would stop feeling sorry for me and my "loss" and pitying me so damn much. I wasn't the one who had cancer or died.

It could be worse, you could be IDE.