The Sphere
General Garbage => Tropical Paradise of Hard Shelled Fruits => Topic started by: Bitch on Dec 19, 2008, 10:59:42 AM
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Yeah, the Navy recruiter in Wichita was an asshole, so I joined the Army instead. I've actually been in BCT since November, so the two people who wondered where I was, I was in South Carolina learning how to be a man. Not much of a man, though - my battalion doesn't train people for combat MOS's, so my basic training is easier than most. I'm still not done with basic, but the Army decided to give everyone a break for the holidays, so I go back and finish in January.
Being home is really weird. I slept in until 6 this morning, and didn't have a set uniform. I wasn't fighting twenty girls to get to a sink so I could do my hair, and I wasn't making a bunk or putting on a uniform. I actually get to decide what I want for lunch and when to eat it. After almost two months of having everything decided for me and not having to do much for myself in the way of cooking and planning, I'm actually a bit lost. I did extra PT earlier because I didn't feel like I was doing anything useful.
All of my clothes are too big. I had to borrow my dad's pants today because all mine were falling off, which means I'm gonna have to go buy new clothes, which is a pain.
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I might become a human intelligence gatherer for the national guard.
The WMD...is in my pants baby!
Giggity Giggity Goo!
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You mean this one (http://www.goarmy.com/JobDetail.do?id=152)? Fuck you, that's my job.
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Nice. Are you enoying it, though?
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You mean this one (http://www.goarmy.com/JobDetail.do?id=152)? Fuck you, that's my job.
Well then I look forward to working under you...or over you...or behind you, as the case may be.
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Unfortunately, E, I still have a month of boot camp left to complete after the holiday before I even begin training for my job. My job training will be over in July, and until then it's up in the air whether I go to my unit right away or get sent to the year-long linguistics training. So I'm excited about what I'm going to be doing, but don't get to enjoy my actual job for a while yet.
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Ooh, awesome. Armed services personnel get extra owl pellets.
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I hope we get stationed together. You can be all mousy and bookish solving middle eastern spy mysteries and I'll follow you around with a gun to kick ass when push comes to shove.
We'll get picked up by Fox for 13 episodes.
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IDE, you wouldn't make it through boot camp. Basic training has too many sexually repressed females with really good bodies, and just enough who would risk sex during training, that you'd eventually get caught bumping uglies with someone in the laundry room and get kicked out.
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Wait, we go through boot camp with chicks?
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Yes. Most, if not all, Army BCT posts are co-ed.
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Pics of your army-sexy body?
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Oh good call...
I'm slippin. Maybe Faye is right.
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IDE, you wouldn't make it through boot camp. Basic training has too many sexually repressed females with really good bodies, and just enough who would risk sex during training, that you'd eventually get caught bumping uglies with someone in the laundry room and get kicked out.
What? No sex during training?
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Well I'm driving out to LA in a couple weeks so I won't have to worry about getting kicked out for a little while longer anyway.
But Chels is right. If anything they should welcome the additional exercise I'd be providing.
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Maybe they need military personnel with pent up sexual frustration to go kill Iraqis.
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Nope, no sex during training. No smoking or drinking, either. Can't even have a car until after AIT.
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Pics then so we can compare what the army's done.
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Ah congrats! I wish I could do it but I'd hate to get a sargent like the one from full metal jacket
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You wouldn't - the boot camp in Full Metal Jacket is Marines. And if you've already got a degree of some sort, you can either go in as an officer or enlist at a higher rank, up to PFC or Specialist, depending on what field your degree is in. And if you put my name down when you enlist, I get a promotion and lots of money. :D
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So if I have a Master's degree in Communication and got put into that Intelligence Gathering thing is there a chance I would be your commander?
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You could do the Officer Candidate School (http://www.army.com/enlist/officers06.html) after BCT, but there's no officer equivalent to a 35M, so you'd end up pushing pencils at first instead of doing anything fun. So instead of my gun-toting sidekick who gets us in more trouble than he gets us out of, you'd be the guy who calls me in because he lost my last report and needs me to make a new one. :nono:
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Boooo!
Whats a 35M? Something that shows you've got the practical experience to lead other soldiers?
I guess I've been laboring under the misconception that if you went to OCS they put you in charge of people right out the box.
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35M is the MOS number for Human Intelligence Collector.
The guys who get put in charge right away are the ones who joined with law degrees or went to West Point. Everyone else gets to start their glamorous officer career as a second lieutenant. You still make ridiculous amounts of money and get saluted and all that jazz, but there's a lot of study involved if you want to be in charge of more than about 200 people.
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How much is a " ridiculous amount of money"??
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Guy I know is on break from the Army Rangers training. That shit sounds hardcore.
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I know! But u can't get into the rangers if you are a woman :-(
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I like the idea of sitting around in an office prank calling people while making lots of money.
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I'm still waiting for the definition f how much is " lots of money"
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Officer pay chart. (http://www.army.com/money/payrates_officer_a07.html) It doesn't seem like all that much, except you get paid bi-monthly plus allowances. As an officer, you can live off base whether you're married or not, and the Army pays most of your rent. You also get food and uniform allowances.
IDE, you can't make prank calls. If you make prank calls, you get fired in a way that makes it difficult to get a job even at McDonald's. You have to actually, you know, work.
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Yah. From what I hear a Military guy gets a lot of expenses paid for, things like housing and rent and such, so you'd be surprised how much money they save....when they're smart. I've heard tell from the Army Ranger in Training and Navy Seal guy that once people hit leave they blow huge wads of cash like idjits.
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I bought some nice Christmas presents, and after boot camp I'm getting myself a new laptop. :D But at the same time, I'm single (read: not paying for kids' shit or spouse/bf's shit) and have no bills in my name, plus I got a pretty sizable amount of Christmas money this year. I think people buy stupid shit while on leave because everything seems so shiny and new, and their wallet feels bottomless. Since all the necessities are available on-base for really cheap, they go to the mall and go absolutely nuts.
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The guys I know who went through OCS prank call some other military office all the time.
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Officer pay chart. (http://www.army.com/money/payrates_officer_a07.html) It doesn't seem like all that much, except you get paid bi-monthly plus allowances. As an officer, you can live off base whether you're married or not, and the Army pays most of your rent. You also get food and uniform allowances.
IDE, you can't make prank calls. If you make prank calls, you get fired in a way that makes it difficult to get a job even at McDonald's. You have to actually, you know, work.
Alright, erasing "becoming an officer" from my "jobs to do" list. I wouldn't be able to survive with that pay! friggin' student loans :-S
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I think they pay off your student loans though.
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All of them? Even my private ones? I don't think so son, I don't think so :'(
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They do.
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I'm going to research into it. and here I was thinking about running away and hiding somewhere in south-east asia.
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My plan C is to hide out in japan and become a pro wrestler.
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My cousin in AZ just shipped off for boot camp. I have no idea what he's going in to do.
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Yeah, can I kick Doug out of my thread? His little underage chick is effin creepy.
In AZ now. Holy shit, I cannae breathe up here. Apporx. 5000 feet above sea level. Suuck. Didn't get in with this class, either, so I'm a hold-under until this end of March, when I can hopefully get classed. If you ever join the Army, go NG or Reserve. Active duty gets fucked up the ass, priority-wise.
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Is there an ignore link there? Underneath his AIM duder and the MySpace peeps?
So you're in AZ? With D's cousin? Is he as creepy as D? :lol:
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I'm not with D's cousin, I'm at the MI school at Ft. Huachuca. Unless D's cousin is a short Polynesian guy who can't take a hint, I don't think I've seen him.
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He very well could be. Yep, he very well could be.
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Is there an ignore link there? Underneath his AIM duder and the MySpace peeps?
So you're in AZ? With D's cousin? Is he as creepy as D? :lol:
I'm surprised that you'd want to ignore me considering I only post once a month now that this place died.
My cousin isn't in AZ anymore.. he's at some boot camp somewhere else. His group is under the Military Police devision of the army, so unless you're a MP I doubt you'd bump into him. But if you see a 19 year old guy with a blonde buzz cut named K Patton that might be him.
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Every white male in the military looks the same. Same buzzcut, same hat, same fucking uniform. And I've met three Pattons already. The Army is a big insititution; the odds of me running into one particular person are extremely slim.
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Come on now, it was joke. It shouldn't have gotten this far.
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I sorry, Mama. *hangs head*
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I forget the army spot in Mississippi, but it's supposed to be like the worse boot camp spot.
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Camp Shelby, probably.
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Maybe I should get into the army for a couple of months, just to get in shape? Paying 400 bucks for 8 one hour sessions with a personal trainer seems a little too much imo.
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Congrats, B! ;D Maybe you'll get TDY in someplace cool.
According to my brother, the Marines are the horndogs and most of them are at Pendleton in San Diego. They might behave differently with women, though. :P
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whats TDY?
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Temporary posting with per diem.
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Maybe I should get into the army for a couple of months, just to get in shape? Paying 400 bucks for 8 one hour sessions with a personal trainer seems a little too much imo.
Ha, with your luck Faye-Faye, they'd ship you off for the next war. And you'd be all "Fuck this!" and go AWOL to Singapore.
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Hey, my dad has an apt in Singapore! (he used to live there until last year, now he lives in Abu Dhabi). I love that place. I'll go there once I ditch the army , but at least with a better body :-p
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Hey, my dad has an apt in Singapore! (he used to live there until last year, now he lives in Abu Dhabi).
You mean where Garfield kept trying to send Nermal?
I love that place. I'll go there once I ditch the army , but at least with a better body :-p
That's all that counts.
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Then you can belly-dance for money and seduce a rich Dubai mogul into marrying you.
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I'd do that too if I could. Damn these two left feet!
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Yeah, can I kick Doug out of my thread? His little underage chick is effin creepy.
All late and stuff, but my "Underaged Chick" in none other than the awesome Yoko from Gurren Lagann.
http://randomc.animeblogger.net/image/Gurren%20Lagann/Gurren%20Lagann%20-%2023%20-%20Yoko.jpg
http://mikoto.files.wordpress.com/2009/03/yoko.jpg
http://ningen.nattoli.net/read/fed195e5b0bac4d91046ce187af69980/Tengen-Toppa-Gurren-Lagann/%5BNingen%5Dwallpapers-Tengen-Toppa-Gurren-Lagann-243-1024x768.jpg
http://i242.photobucket.com/albums/ff298/malkotoZlo/Tengen%20Toppa%20Gurren%20Lagann/CopyofTengen_Toppa_Gurren-Lagann665.jpg
http://static1.animepaper.net/upload/thumbs/wallpapers/Tengen-Toppa-Gurren-Lagann/%5Blarge%5D%5BAnimePaper%5Dwallpapers_Tengen-Toppa-Gurren-Lagann_uruz7(1.6)__THISRES__71040.jpg
But I've changed it now to a picture of a "bearded lady" (that's the description of the picture) which is nothing more than a dude in a victorian dress.
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I like how you say that...as if it's supposed to be better.
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It is. Seriously, prove me wrong. :D
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Aagh, thought I'd already posted this. Stupid barracks internet...
I'm gonna be home on Thursday. I had a few anxiety attacks that were pretty impressive, and apparently took like two bottles of pills (I don't remember the day at all), so they sent me to the loony bin for a week. Now I get to go home and maybe try again in six months.
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o.o
What pills, if I may ask?
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And do you have any more of them?
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Bitch, don't pull a Ledger on us. :fingershake:
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And do you have any more of them?
BAD!
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Ambien, Ativan, Trazidone, Lortabs... I was pretty fucked up. I apparently had an entire conversation with my platoon sergeant that night without even knowing it. Someone told him what I was doing, and he turned on the lights in the bay and woke everyone up while he was talking to me. And when I got to the hospital, I cracked everyone up in my dementia my first day. I also told my best friend not to be poor. This is all second hand information, of course, but fun as hell nonetheless.
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Yeah, those are all medicines that shouldn't be taken together. They will just fuck you up.
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Big time. I'm pretty much addicted to Ambien at this point, which is why I don't take Vicodin for my back until I can hardly move and can go without a decent night's sleep, i.e. Friday/Saturday. :-\
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Aagh, thought I'd already posted this. Stupid barracks internet...
I'm gonna be home on Thursday. I had a few anxiety attacks that were pretty impressive, and apparently took like two bottles of pills (I don't remember the day at all), so they sent me to the loony bin for a week. Now I get to go home and maybe try again in six months.
Oh, wow. So what happens to you now? What do you do in those six months?
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You know, Bitch, in the Navy, you could sail the seven seas AND put your mind at ease. At least that's what the Village People tell us. ;)
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She's not a dude, they wouldn't accept her.
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In 2008 they started letting women serve in submarines. It's not just a man's life in the Navy anymore!
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Only if its yellow.
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In 2008 they started letting women serve in submarines. It's not just a man's life in the Navy anymore!
I meant because they only love Semen. Not sea men, ropes of thick, hot Jizzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.
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Uncontrollable flying splooge has got to be a hell of a safety hazard in such tight quarters.
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But at least if the sub gets a big ol' hole, they can glue that bitch up.
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I think that would depend on what they are feeding those sailors.
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Horse sperm and oats.
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Makes one wonder why scientists are always violating innocent spiders' webs with this untapped source of sticky strength.
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Well it looks like I'll be joining after all. I need the 10K signing bonus for joining the guard. It was foolish of me to believe that I could go through a life time without battle. Now as in all my passed existences on this rock and others I will become an instrument of war.
So much for variety.