The Sphere
General Garbage => Tropical Paradise of Hard Shelled Fruits => Topic started by: IDE on Aug 31, 2006, 08:18:42 PM
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Here is the current list in order of their percieved interest in me
1. Mary (the one that got away last night, but will get her comeuppance friday)
2. Lisa (something about her...we've liked eachother since we both first smiled at one another...in prehistoric times I would've mounted her on the spot...curse you society)
3. Miranda (18 yrs old and extremely excited)
4. Heather (they're huge...like if I was chick these are the kind of tatas I would have)
5. Kylie (18 but this one has the body of a 12 yr old and unlike some parties this bothers me)
6. Allie (might have a boyfriend..,)
7. Liz (Haven't talked to her since saturday night...don't really remember what she looks like)
8. Amanda (do not randomly call, was a "what are you doing after this?" pick up"
9. Meredith (Have gotten her number 3 times and never called her, she's probably a little apathetic at this point)
10.???
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There's a register chick at the Bookstore that's fairly hot. I can say unabashedly that I will be trying to beat the game on legendary, after some more investigating.
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Don't forget your camera next time. We need more pictures to put in animated GIFs.
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Oh....I thought you stopped outside a Home Depot there for a moment.
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There's a register chick at the Bookstore that's fairly hot. I can say unabashedly that I will be trying to beat the game on legendary, after some more investigating.
Isn't Nuri a register chick at a bookstore? The plot thickens
Oh....I thought you stopped outside a Home Depot there for a moment.
I think I understood that. *thumbs up*
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Does she even work at the bookstore anymore? I thought she quit that job. Does Merla still work there?
Any yeah...I make sense from time to time, but not often.
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10. Erika! (asked if she could have my shirt. I told her we had to trade. She said ok and put her hands on the bottom of her shirt as if to take it off, so I did too...on my shirt. Then neither of us took them off, and I said you first, and she said no you first, then I said why don't you give me your number and we can go somewhere and do this later, so she stuck out her hand and I put my cell phone in it. Then we texted later and she's going out of town for the weekend like numbers: 2 and 4.)
I'm doing something with 1 tommorow..but I told 5 we'd do something tommorow too. 3 wants to get together this weekend. I have to go to 6's birthday party on saturday...
damn it I forgot about 5 1/2*.
*5.5 Kirsten (18 yr old tier 2 sorority chick, code 3 candidate)
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There's a register chick at the Bookstore that's fairly hot. I can say unabashedly that I will be trying to beat the game on legendary, after some more investigating.
Isn't Nuri a register chick at a bookstore? The plot thickens
[
This one got to talking about ex Boyfriends, AStrological signs, and what she looks for in a boyfriend yesterday with me.
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Hope she didn't say she likes guys that don't post on message boards on the intranet.
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Exboyfriend chat eh? That doesn't sound good (to me anyways) but maybe that's the rogues way in.
I raise my vorpal long sword +3, +5 against 18 yr old girls and roll a natural 20.
What she looks for in a boyfriend is good especially if she's describing you.
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Merla doesn't work in a bookstore she works in a library. No bookstore for Nuri since July.
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Hey Nuri+Merla's stalker makes a rare appearance
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I knew it was one of them things with all the books in it then.
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chance of bringing back #1 tonight after all the ridiculous crap that ensued last week is about 58%. I'm going in even though it could end in rejection... but theres always 2 through 11 if I fail.
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What do you care about rejection? You're just looking for a good time. Wham, bam, thank you ma'am and on to the next conquest. It's not like your looking for a committed relationship. So what if one chick throws you to the dogs there's always another one that's willing.
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Because he wants to be loved, but can't handle the reality of it, so instead of seeking partnership he accepts that no one will want him for more than 5 minutes. In the truth, he does want something more, he just cannot function to achieve that.
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...quatro cinco cinco seis.
(break into either a Def Lepard or Offsrping song)
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The Offspring version was better.
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well...#1 is seeing her ex boyfriend from highschool again.
Tom is actually right (in this instance) I did like this girl but now I despise her...her and fate. Also my lack of faith in myself even when everything was working as intended (but I couldn't see it).
The shroud of the dark side has fallen and is all concealing.
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My turn! ::rolls ten-sided die:: Oh no, a wizard attacks!!
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(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v720/IDE/1129019812235.jpg)
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Gah! :lol:
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#2 Lisa has returnethed to us! I thought she was lost forever but now she is back! and just in time to take the treacherous #1's place as the girl that I actually like.
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Everytime you say #1, I think of Riker.
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I think of Riker too......
All the time. I wish I was the away team so he could command me. *LeSigh*
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haha
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Rama that sounds so nasty.
IDE I am not even going to bother saying what's on my mind.
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Rama that sounds so nasty.
Ha! Victory!
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Rama that sounds so nasty.
IDE I am not even going to bother saying what's on my mind.
It's hot sex isn't it!?
You can admit it!
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You should've made your name "2hot4jew". Then I could've done a Woody Allen joke or sumthin'.
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who is that anyway?
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#4 and I spent the whole time at the bar together dancing and talking and making out. I walked her home and she drove me to my car. Tommorow we're supposed to go see a movie together afterwards I will attempt to bang her out and then move on to #2. Part of me says "no! why don't you try and cultivate something meaningful with #4!" but then I beat that part of my psyche down and continue on with my mission.
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AHHH #1 talked to me and now she's in my head! Where is my magic helmet to protect me from this shit!? The only thing left to do now is punish her. Bitch don't you know who I am?
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...You're a Manwhore.
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Yes, magic helmet.... And I'll give you a sam-ple!
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What do you call that?
"The steaming Nuri" ?
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The Nuri Hershey Smear.
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This just got weird...
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Oh gross!!! NO, it's not about sex! Not every woman wants your body! Keep the hell away!
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You do realize this is all just a series of tubes right?
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Tubes smeared with Hershey brand Nuri.
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Man....this thread got real shitty.
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Tubes smeared with Hershey brand Nuri.
stop turning me on!
This thread is supposed to be about girls that are within my grasp~desu!
Tonight I made out with a girl that is so adorable and then I blacked out...the next thing I remember is triple A picking up my car after I floored it all the way it could go, it just gave out on me. So it's been towed away and I can't remember how I picked this girl up but I'm so infatuated with here...oh wait she's in my acting class and she added me on facebook...I didnt know who she was till tonight (finally recognized her at class)...and oh man, we made out and shes so cute...it's a shame I'm still talking to 4 other girls cause she could've been the one...but sadly my mission must be carried out bushido style, and some of the girls are sexier even than she...but not as cute...actually there is one other cute one...but whatever, I want you to appreciate something about this girl... her semi-unique cuteness or something...
*pics posted on INTERNET with the squirrel*
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...You still worry me.
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I worry me too...at least I found my phone under my bed this morning.
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yeah I bet that wasn't all you found :P
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If you don't throw out used condoms the bacteria in there can reanimate them.
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Like that little bucket in Fantasia?
This thread is supposed to be about girls that are within my grasp~desu!
Dork. :lol:
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1. Hailey
2. Lisa
3. Kylie
4. Miranda
5. J$
6 Amanda.
7. Jes
8. Taylor
Theres an Ashley in my phone but I dont know where it came from...I almost know who it is but I can't place her.
*overload*
Cloey, Hot, Karen, Kirsten (now unranked), Lauren Boobs, Ldiz, Sarah, Meredith
This has gotten out of hand it's time to write some people off.
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Lauren Boobs? A nickname or a surname fairy with a sense of humor?
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O_o I still think IDE is a manwhore.
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Lauren Boobs because there is already a Lauren in the phone.
Also last night I was put into the only situation that I always 95% fail at with the ladies. My friend told me that she likes me. For some reason when I go in thinking that I have something to lose I always lose it.
Fortunately she's not on my list and was only a bonus round. Unfortunately she was kinda hot.
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Where that banner that says "This thread has teh AIDS!"?
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Allright guest! I've had it with you!
TITS OR GTFO!
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Lauren Boobs because there is already a Lauren in the phone.
I think I like my Surname Fairy idea better.
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I don't.
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Nobody asked you.
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No, you didn't. OHHHHHH, snap, bitch!
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Oh I did LLS....I did!
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REJPOICE YOU HATING PIECES OF SHIT!
2 GIRLS WHO IVE BEEN TALKING TO BUT HAVE ONLY KISSED 1 FOUND OUT THAT I HAV EBOTH THEIR NUMBERS
WE'V ENEVER ACTUALLY HUNG OUT WITH EITHER ONE
BUT THEY BOTH DECIDED TO ACT LIKE BITCHES AND FORGET ABOUT ME
SHITTTTTTTTTTTTTT
IN EACH WHOREBAG IS INVESTED A PIECE OF MY OMNIPRESENT HEART
WHEN THEY REJECT ME I FEEEL PAIN
WHY WASNT I BORN A VIKING....
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You know I remember the days when only I made posts like that. I, however, could do it without the aid of a performance enhancing substance, like alcohol.
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Who the fuck lets this guy online after he boozes out?
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I need one of those built in breathalizers that won't let you start your car for the PC.
Can't believe I made it all the way here. Usually after 1 or 2 boards I'm done but last nights slap in the face by lady fate was a 3 board event apparently.
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There'll be other girls. Do you really care?
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I guess not.
But ya know how some people get really depressed about their favorite team losing a game that they thought was supposed to be in the bag, but then the refs made a bullshit call and all the hardcore fans are stomping around their living rooms pissed off?
Well I'm my own favorite team.
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Yeah, I'd get disappointed watching some reality show and the people I was rooting for lose. But a month later, it's pretty much forgotten.
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Yup.
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But there may come the day when the girl in your brain doesn't go away, no matter how much time passes.
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Let us pray to Odin that black day never comes.
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It'll come. It'll come. Like Death and Taxes.
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Let us pray to Odin that black day never comes.
While you're at it, pray it's not tubgirl.
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The gods are angry. I think I need to go to the store and burn some filet mignon in the backyard...
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Ah a new semester dawns...the final semester.
1) Erica
2) Jennn
3) Dani (this is a girl I blew it with before but she seemed interested before she left for england last semster after she watched me toss some kids around in the street that were trying to fight while I was at work)
4) Stephanie, Heather, or Becky (They're all in the same sorority and close friends so I probably won't be able to get them all I have to choose which one I want. It's sort of like having an eevie pokemanz)
That's all for now except for 2 offers from my friens's girlfriends each one wants to hook me up with one of their friends. It's funny cause both of them are always flirty with me so I guess they want to have a vicarious experience by sacrificing their friends to the dark gods. One of the friends was just visiting (don't know if she's still here) but the other girl's friend is her roomate (and my friend hates her, the roomate, not his girlfriend) so I'm going to go Dragon Force on her bergina.
On the black wind forever we ride on together
Destroying your evil with freedom our guide
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It's sort of like having an eevie pokemanz)
:lol:
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4) Shena (very interested blonde...I mean this chick is fucking hot...we should breed together if nothing else)
5) Dani...oh wait...she was #3 already...well we saw eachother tonight and she seemed interested but then she was with some tool and wasn't paying attention to me...but I noticed like every chick in there was paying attention to me...My shoulder has been wounded for awhile and only since I was in the play have I been able to re-establish the final form of my god like physique (like you know how frieza is all cool n shit but he's got several different omg final forms? I've been in like the form before the final one for awhile now)...and god damn it if women aren't as shallow as ever. I mean seriously you bitches go nuts over my sleek hornless jumpsuit form, it's sad really. Have you no shame?
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I don't know what else you're expecting from party-hos.
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What's the criteria for being a party-ho anyway?
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* Party-ho gear including at least three of the following: miniskirts, see-through blouses/shirts (anything decent reading "Princess" or "Brat" acceptable substitute), neck-breaking shoes, a tongue piercing, a lower back tat (a butterfly anywhere also acceptable), ass-crack pants (ornamental thong optional), an incessently checked cellphone, and/or a class-five wizard's staff. Required is that assortment of party-ho gear be worn to/displayed places other than parties such as school and my grandmother's funeral.
* Penchant for alcohol and/or drugs to the point of excess. Can result in an accidental date rape or comedic car wreck.
* Looseness or acceptable perception of looseness as judged by correct assortment of party-ho gear. Usually has the appearance of "asking for it" or "giving it away" or "maybe finagling for Jared Leto's used Wendy's napkin and a Snickers bar".
* Wanting to do or having done Girls Gone Wild. Flashing for beads or doing wet t-shirt contest also acceptable. Must be accompanied with a hearty "Whoooo!"
Someone tell me if I'm missing something.
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Party-Hos also tend to heavily spectate games of Beer Pong.
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this is true.
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* Party-ho gear including at least three of the following: miniskirts, see-through blouses/shirts (anything decent reading "Princess" or "Brat" acceptable substitute), neck-breaking shoes, a tongue piercing, a lower back tat (a butterfly anywhere also acceptable), ass-crack pants (ornamental thong optional), an incessently checked cellphone, and/or a class-five wizard's staff. Required is that assortment of party-ho gear be worn to/displayed places other than parties such as school and my grandmother's funeral.
* Penchant for alcohol and/or drugs to the point of excess. Can result in an accidental date rape or comedic car wreck.
* Looseness or acceptable perception of looseness as judged by correct assortment of party-ho gear. Usually has the appearance of "asking for it" or "giving it away" or "maybe finagling for Jared Leto's used Wendy's napkin and a Snickers bar".
* Wanting to do or having done Girls Gone Wild. Flashing for beads or doing wet t-shirt contest also acceptable. Must be accompanied with a hearty "Whoooo!"
Someone tell me if I'm missing something.
Dude you just described me with 3 of those. But piercings/tattoos don't count s party hos! plus I'm a party girl(actually, WAS, not anymore) I ain't no stinky party ho!
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Acceptance is the first part of change, Faye, remember that.
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all is proceeding as I have forseen >:D
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Dude you just described me with 3 of those. But piercings/tattoos don't count s party hos! plus I'm a party girl(actually, WAS, not anymore) I ain't no stinky party ho!
You need all four to be a certified party-ho.
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* Party-ho gear including at least three of the following: miniskirts, see-through blouses/shirts (anything decent reading "Princess" or "Brat" acceptable substitute), neck-breaking shoes, a tongue piercing, a lower back tat (a butterfly anywhere also acceptable), ass-crack pants (ornamental thong optional), an incessently checked cellphone, and/or a class-five wizard's staff. Required is that assortment of party-ho gear be worn to/displayed places other than parties such as school and my grandmother's funeral.
Hot.
* Penchant for alcohol and/or drugs to the point of excess. Can result in an accidental date rape or comedic car wreck.
Eh, acceptable losses.
* Looseness or acceptable perception of looseness as judged by correct assortment of party-ho gear. Usually has the appearance of "asking for it" or "giving it away" or "maybe finagling for Jared Leto's used Wendy's napkin and a Snickers bar".
Hey, it's how IDE gets some.
* Wanting to do or having done Girls Gone Wild. Flashing for beads or doing wet t-shirt contest also acceptable. Must be accompanied with a hearty "Whoooo!"
Hey, if I throw 'em, you better fucking show them. It's a law.
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I'm not as wild as I was before, althought my hotness is still here with me, and always will.
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Hey, it's how IDE gets some.
Desire is pretty much how we all get some.
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Ah a new semester dawns...the final semester.
1) Erica
2) Jennn
3) Dani (this is a girl I blew it with before but she seemed interested before she left for england last semster after she watched me toss some kids around in the street that were trying to fight while I was at work)
4) Stephanie, Heather, or Becky (They're all in the same sorority and close friends so I probably won't be able to get them all I have to choose which one I want. It's sort of like having an eevie pokemanz)
That's all for now except for 2 offers from my friens's girlfriends each one wants to hook me up with one of their friends. It's funny cause both of them are always flirty with me so I guess they want to have a vicarious experience by sacrificing their friends to the dark gods. One of the friends was just visiting (don't know if she's still here) but the other girl's friend is her roomate (and my friend hates her, the roomate, not his girlfriend) so I'm going to go Dragon Force on her bergina.
On the black wind forever we ride on together
Destroying your evil with freedom our guide
HAHA! #1 is mine! not 2 or 3 or 4 but 1!
Truly the Gods favor me!
And here we are! We're the princes of the universe (YEAH!)
Something something FIGHTING FOR SURVIVAL!
WE'VE COME TO BE THE RULERS OF YOU ALL!
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You are immortal? You have inside you blood of kings? For an Erica? Bwah. Cut off her head and take her powers, then talk to us.
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Before or after I sleep with her?
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I don't think it makes a difference to be honest.
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#1 SOLD ME OUT!
Oh the treachery! Oh the wasted effort!
Well now my efforts to bring emotional pain to womankind will be redoubled. I'm almost at the point where I could kill a kitten...not there quite yet, cause its just a sweet little kitten and it didn't do anything, but much more of this shit and all my humanity will be wiped away and there will be some interesting meals with fava beans and a nice chianti.
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#1 sold you out? How? Might as well give up details since we've come this far. So to speak.
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Okay, you mentioned it in the last thread, but, what, did she bring the other dude with her or something?
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She was constantly texting "where are you?" and when I finally show up she's trying to be all shady and telling me that her friend doesn't have a guy and it's true (she didn't) and that she's trying to find her one.
But you all who have never been near me physically can't know that giving such a lame excuse to deny one's self the ecstacy of being in my presence makes no sense at all.
But I do know it.
So she tells me to come find her later and I do. And I notice this other guy who was talking to her earlier (We would sort of both be standing near her at different times and I knew something was going on) is sitting next to her and she puts her head down in her lap on account of her being "so wasted" and her friend is whispering in her ear probably something like "oh shit they're both here now! what are you gonna do!?"
So at this point I could've just talked to her while the guy stared off into space but I've never been one for subtelty so I simply turned to him and asked "Are you talking to her?" and he just sort of shrugged and maybe mumbled something before I cut him off with "Cause I'm talking to her, I love these awkward situations" and he seemed a little taken aback. Then I removed her friend's hand that was over her back, and lifted her shoulders (gently) so that we were eye to eye so I could lean in and whisper to her "Who is this guy?" and she said "we're kind of talking" ("talking" as has been used in this post means courting for you uninitiated social recluses).
So I told her "Have a nice life" and walked away. Then she sent me some texts about how she was sorry and I sent one back that said "for what? talking to that little faggot? And you were giving me shit? (because she was constantly accusing me of being a player) lol.
So I have reaped what I've sewn and whilst some of you may find this cause to rejoice that the universe is so clever, know this!
This encounter has only made me stronger. In fact if anything I'm concocting even more diabolical schemes and ruthless heartbreaking techniques as I type this.
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What did you care though? Weren't you just gonna tap her and be done with it? That's like a cougar making a kill, and then bitching because the vultures are taking the slivers of meat from the bones.
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Because she was #1 and I had a little something invested in her. She was one of my whorecrux if you will. There's always more than 1 of them and I keep them hidden and separated from one another. But when I lose one I feel the loss a little, which means it's time to go out and create some more...
*puts on his robes and wizard hat*
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...my whorecrux if you will.
:lol:
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*sigh*
I texted the rachel chick "Are you the kind of girl that just throws up out a guys window and never talks to him again" and this was after texting if she wanted to go to dinner and a movie.
...
and the thing is I was so pissed off about losing number 1 that I got really wasted so when I took rachel home I couldn't nail her properly and I think thats why she's not texting back. And you'd think well thats ok you'll see her out again and...
wait...I shoudl tell u why I miss her. When we met it was like a movie.
She said "this is the part where you come over and talk to me" and then I said this is the part where I smile and look at your eyes before kissing you" or some shit like that but it went back and forth with this "this is the part..." and oh man...even my jaded heart aches a little after such an encounter, but she'll never talk to me again because I couldnt get it all the way up for her because I was busy drinking until I couldnt feel anything below my waste over some other bitch.
So we had sex and for the brief moments we were having it I could tell she liked it but I feel like I failed her over all and thats the reason (though maybe she just feels like an uber whorebag for fucking me the first night we met, who knows) anyway though I miss her even though we just met because she's eclipsed god girl (see squirrel's board for details)...
but I'll get over it...I always do, and when shit like this happens my 6 pack abs become 8 pack abs because I'm that much angrier and hungrier for vengeance on all womankind.
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Give me the link over there to where you posted about god-girl. Make browsing easier for the lazy!
Ease up, you're only 23. You have your whole life ahead of you.
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He's NOT 23....
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Yep, his whole life ahead of him.
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god girl (http://bonr.shwiggie.com/index.php?topic=3683.0)
Ease up, you're only 23. You have your whole life ahead of you.
true enough
He's NOT 23....
quiet you!
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Yep, I shore do envy them younger folks. *back pops*
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Holy fuck, girlfriend, that's six pages. Practically on-topic, too. Bravo.
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I only speak the truth! IDE lies! 23 he is not! BE WARNED, WIMMENFOLK!
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But why would he tell us he is 23 if he isn't? Lying about your age is something insecure women do...not strong fit confident men like IDE.
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That is very true.
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I've explained this before.
Where I am (for some ungodly reason) it doesn't matter how really really really good looking you are. After a certain age you become creepy to 18 yr old girls and by a certain age we're talking 24. And it's not like I go around wearing a shirt that says I'm 23 but when these girls show interest in me and we get to talking about how old we are I see no reason to put the kaibosh on the whole thing by telling the truth (and they will walk away if I tell them, it happened 3 out of 3 times and that's enough data gathering on this subject for me). I'm still everything she wants in terms of looks, charm, sexual prowess, etc. Why ruin her designs on me over such a small technicality.
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Especially when at a point in your life you should be looking for something meaningful, especially at the cusp of a great achievement in your life, instead you wish to waste everything on some pink, possibly diseased slit.
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:lol:!!!!!!!! tom winz.
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Whose wasting everything?
Me? or someone who is with the same person day in and day out during the younger years of his life when he should be sewing his oats but has instead opted to be in l...lo...lurr...
bleh!
It is I who am doing the right thing by not settling down until I've sought my fortune and established myself. I suppose you could try and do that with a ball chained to your ankle but think of all the interesting romances you'll have to forego as you meet new and exciting people, but nooo you'll have a girlfriend/wife what have you holding ya down. "Sorry Claire Danes! I can't fuck you I've got a girlfriend!"
No thank you.
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...Tom still wins.
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It is I who am doing the right thing by not settling down until I've sought my fortune and established myself.
Most of the time I'd tell people to do the exact opposite of whatever IDE said, but on this I agree with him.
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Me? or someone who is with the same person day in and day out during the younger years of his life when he should be sewing his oats but has instead opted to be in l...lo...lurr...
You've obviously never seen Kary nekid. Abs like a fucking greek goddess, and they're mine whenever I want. No pining, no emo-laden posts over her not giving it to me so I get blue balls.
Plus, again, I know she lacks VD. When your balls start itching because some girl was really naughty, and you have to "apply to affected area", you'll know. :D
Plus, this was about you lying about your age, which really won't last much longer. So live it up now, but you're dancing the line of distinguished gentleman and wierd pedophile.
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My declaration of teh win had nothing to do with lifestyle and everything to do with integrating "pink diseased slit" into conversation. IDE, dude, you sow away.
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well you brought up the "meaningful" but I'm in LA right now and apparently you don't have to lie about your age out here, just about who you are and what you do (until you actually become that thing they desire).
I chalk the emo/blue balls up as the price I pay for variety. Just recently I had to call off a hit because I saw a cold sore on this chick's mouth...disappointing but to this day have never come down with anything (due to the blessing of Torm). Still you're right though, I haven't seen Kary naked...If it's as life changing as you say I think we could all benefit from some pictures.
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I think she'd either be into it, or would hit me. Eitherway, I'll ask, or just wait for us to be on Spring Break and I'll snap a bikini shot. :)
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HAHAHHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!HA!
FUCK YEAH!
NUMBER 1 RETURNETH!
THE BITCH COULDN"T STAY AWAY!
SHE SAID SHE DIDN'T GO HOME WITH THAT GUY...NOT THAT I BELIEVE THAT
BUT THE POINT THAT I COULD CALL HER A BITCH AND SHE STILL CAME BACK CLAIMING THAT I AM THE BEST KISSER EVER IS PROOF POSITIVE THAT I AM A LIVING GOD.
ONCE AGAIN...I CAN CALL YOU A BITCH...AND YOU WILL COME BACK BECAUSE I AM THAT FUCKING GOOD.
ARCANE ENERGY IS RADIATING OFF OF ME AS I CRAFT ORANGE MAKE-OUT TRINKETS WIT MY 475 KISSING SKILL.
I'm GONNA SELL THESE FUCKERS FOR 2000g each IN THE AH.
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......
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I read it but I still don't get half of it, do you?
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I think he got laid. Also, he wants to sell his semen.
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I'll stick with Stephen Colbert's Formula 401.
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2009 "CALIFORNIA DREAMIN" UPDAAAAATE!
Ok so who do we have now...
Stephanie, age 29: Been texting her about how I fight crime and what not. She's a lawyer.
Jen, age unknown: Met her at that disco party. She's asian and I'm taking her out for sushi and then hopefully eating her hamachi.
Katlin, age 20: Doesn't really like to party. Will have to play the Mr. Right angle. Probably have to spend a lot of time and money to nail her. Might not be worth the effort.
Jenn, age unknown: Going to meet her a happy endings.
Alex, age 29: Smoking hot milf.
Kristen, age unknown: Life guard. 'nuff said.
Jill, age 27: used to be fat but is now becoming a fitness model. Haven't seen her naked could be folds of loose flesh under there. Proceed with caution.
It's not in the teens (yet) like the days of yore, but it's a start.
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I forgot what this thread was about.
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Smoke and mirrors, smoke and mirrors.
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It was about remedial spanish, wasn't it?
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quatro cinco cinco seis.
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Give it to me, baby.
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UH HUH UH HUH
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GIVE IT TO ME BABY!
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Uh huh, uh huh.
(ok, fine, finish it)
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I'm enjoying 'You're gonna go far kid' muchly in my workout playlist.
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That's not how the song goes. What is wrong with you. Are you stupid?
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...YES!
*runs away crying*
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Don't run away! Sit in the corner with your face in it!
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Blair Witch?
-
No. Dunce Witch.
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Sand Witch?
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Sandwich? Don't mind if I do! NOM NOM NOM.
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THAT WAS MY BUFFALO SUBWAY SANDWICH! The combo is now only 5 dollars at your local Subway. Subway, eat fresh!
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Hee Hee...five dollar foot long....hee hee.
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Five dollar five foot long is what I got. Yeah, I'm talking about my ruler.
-
Wait for IDE referencing his penis and how it satisfies ## women.
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I declare that my penis is 10 to 20 better. 10 to 20 what, I cannot say.
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THAT WAS MY BUFFALO SUBWAY SANDWICH! The combo is now only 5 dollars at your local Subway. Subway, eat fresh!
I know that's a great price, but I never eat the combo.
Hee Hee...five dollar foot long....hee hee.
Shaddup.
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What? Those commercials make the 5th grader inside me laugh every time.
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What? Those commercials make the 5th grader inside me laugh every time.
EWWWWWWWWWWWWWW! And here I thought we only had one Doug.
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You do...my 5th grader was a boy.
-
Why is that insanely hot?
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Catie, Age 21: She used to teach bible classes to kids before she was fired under the suspicion of having pre-marital sex.
They were right to suspect her.
Stephanie and jill out of the picture.
Going to nail alix soon.
Thought asian jen was done, but she just texted me today.
New additions:
Dee, age 25: Half black and all about me. Very artsy, probably down for the blow out.
Rebecca, age 28: kinda old for me but she's cute with a good sense of humor. She wants to hang out more.
But back to asian jen...Someone who I met only once at that party from the pic I posted and haven't spoken to since. Because basking in my greatness is sort of like being in a ghostbusters movie.
Current California Dreamin' score: 3
Ages: 24, 20, 21
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Well we haven't "spoken" but we've texted. Which I hate doing but I do anyway. Something about texting strikes me as weak. You have all this time to deliver your contrived response. I long for the days of the phone call when you either succeeded or failed on the fly. If the call went well you exulted in your success. If it went bad you punched a whole through the dry wall in defeat. But god damn it you were alive!
p.s. At this time I wish to submit petition #454368 to return my editing privileges. Re-citing the fact that I never actually abused it in the first place. If the details of the incident are no longer on record feel free to send me a pm for more info.
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Can't you just start a blog somewhere instead of posting this here.
Nobody on this forum gives a fuck about your stupid shit conquests.
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Agreed, it's like a reverse D. We get it. You can't find satisfaction so you're trying to fill the void multiple ways. Be like Wilt Chamberlan, do it in secret and then write one big book that no one will actually read.
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Or make millions of dollars, get caught, and leave golf indefinitely.
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Then lose 500 million to your disgruntled Swedish wife.
-
If this is making you mad know that it only encourages me to post more of it, albeit contained in this thread that I forced you to read.
-
Not mad, bored and sympathetic.
-
Seriously, I have no anger towards you. In fact, the reason I am irritated is the fact that your posts do not cause any emotion, positive or negative, to arise in me. I can only assume this is because you have no brain, because I'm usually extremely empathetic, but if you don't have a brain, it probably doesn't work.
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Also, it's just boasting. Since we our opinions of you don't improve with those posts, it brings to questions why you do.
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A glutton for apathy, perhaps?
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Maybe it doesn't provoke an emotional response because it's just a list. If you're expecting to feel something from a list of my prospects I have to question whether you have a brain or not good sir.
And since when have we ever worried about our thoughts and feelings on INTERNET? What is this Real World: Nuri?
Annnnnd when I sad mad I meant irritated. I hardly think you're raging over this. So quest completed. 140324 experience points to me and I'll take the +sp and crit plate legs.
The list is for me of course, I'm not running for governor of this board. You may bear witness to it and leave comments (or not) as you see fit.
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I, however, am running for Governor of the board. Be sure to vote for me this November.
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...that was last month. You missed the election. AGAIN.
-
If you want to make a list, go put it in Google Docs or some shit like that.
-
Agreed. Spreadsheet that shit.
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No.
And after re reading this thread it actually contains some good bits that I can use.
-
I think I might actually loathe you.
-
He's officially the anti-D, which isn't a positive. Somehow they're both negatives.
-
Name me what you will, I remain the spanker of models, the banger of teachers, and master of the off the car trunk double missile drop kick.
Your bleeding vagina posts about monogamy and AMG DONT NEED ANYONE BUT MAH GF AND HER SWEET ABS were fun to re read tho. But her abs will fail one day and you'll replace her with a newer model and be no better than I. Or else have to deal with sagging bits and crows feet.../shudder.
And you, if you're loathing me then there is your "emotional response". Good bye ambivalence! Hello Loathing!
I stayed in tonight and played video games because everyone has already left town. But the good news is that it's time for our blast from the past update!
Kim, Age ??? : She must be mid 20s by now. We were an item back in 2003 and now she lives in NYC. I'm going there for xmas and we're gonna see each other. She couldn't have an O during sex until she met me. I know you're thinking "pfft I'm sure she just told you that to boost your ego" but the thing is we didn't really get along (she bit my face to the point of bleeding). Then told me this after we hooked up once after our break up. If a girl tells you you're great in bed when you're with her she could just be doing what cosmo said to do, but if she rends the flesh off your cheek with her teeth and tells you then it's gots to be true.
She loved to cause a scene in public and she was so little too, it was hilarious this tiny girl pummeling my nigh invulnerable chest to no avail, me blocking her kicks to my jewels with cat like reflexes, ahhh young love /sigh...will it ever be like that again?
We find out next week!
-
:stickdance:
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I always wondered what that button was for. Always too scared to touch it.
-
It's both sexy and mysterious.
-
It's like the world is now a little safer.
-
Or at least, I can ignore the part that isn't.
-
Who wants to see cock pics?
-
Why would I want to see your bird?
-
He has amazing plumage!
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Press the button! You'll be back! There can be no good without evil, etc. etc.!
I'm more interested in the fact that ss says "cat sex".
This is an omen.
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HAHA FTW! I knew I should've cut more off!
-
I missed a joke.
-
The image I posted says "cat sex".
-
Well how else would we have kittens?
-
Mitosis.
-
Tonight at 8:30pm eastern! Final Destination!
Are we headed for dessert or disaster!
-
There was supposed to be a ? at the end there.
So I'm adding it in with this 2nd post.
ahem...
"?"
-
/remove armor
/throw down sword
I RETURN VICTORIOUS!
She's barely 5' tall and her vag is as tight as ever. In fact I liken plowing her to the 4th boss of ICC. You have to be careful with the speed and depth of your stroke else she'll build up enough estrogen powet and give you the "OMG it hurts! get that thing out of me!" debuff and wipe the raid. So the strat is apply a slow dps burn until you're ready to finish, and then pop all your cds and hope that you can unload enough burst before you get hit with the debuff.
-
So she asked how old I was...and I told her.
The truth even.
This is the equivalent of a dragon not eating the maiden the villagers sacrificed to him so that he might leave their village alone for a year. Instead he bows his head and lets her stroke his scales with her delicate tiny handed caress. Then he playfully flips her over and mounts her while she screams in terror as his giant dragon dork penetrates her tiny human form.
-
Well I slammed out Jenn. Her body was kind of gross. I think she used to be fat or something and needs a tummy tuck.
Cute face and boobs, still I probably won't be doing that again unless I get desperate for sustenance.
-
I don't know why anyone would ignore IDE. His posts are too amusing. And quote-worthy.
Squirrel's quote machine is testament to that.
-
I can agree with laughing at his quotes if a machine randomly generated them, but in a series as above is quite irritating.
-
Thanks to the ignore option, when I saw this last page of the thread I only saw 5 "blank" posts made by him. Bliss.
-
Indeed.
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Love me or hate me it's still an obsession.
-
And it looks just like you, too.
-
I'm doing this short indy film that is being done by 19 yr old girls. I can't even look at them for very long without feeling my fangs start to lengthen. When they're trying to talk to me all I see are their pulsating nubile vaginas glowing bright pink through their panties, and the urge to feed upon them drives me near to madness.
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That's not your fangs.
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But, then why are they dripping with blood? :joe:
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Well it's not just my fangs...
My dick was actually dripping with blood from a 21 yr old the other night.
I'm not sure you guys are aware of this but sometimes I can induce menstruation with my dick? Everyone can do this though yeah?
-
Or maybe you killed her and she died of internal bleeding on her way home.
-
Well now that I think about it she hasn't called...
-
You could always follow the trail and find out.
-
I think that might count as "Calling her back the next day.",so can't do that.
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What? Even if he's all Hansel and Gretel and just follows the drippings?
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Yeah cause it'd be all "ahhhhhh you cared enough to see if I was alright." and we can't go and have her thinking we actually give a shit about her. The conquest that is all that matters. If she dies...so what, she already did her job. On to the next!
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I'm not as callous as all that. Which makes it even harder for me to do what I do. I'm aware of what I'm doing but I do it anyway! Like a werewolf who refuses to tie himself up when the full moon rises. Most of the time they're not aware that they're not the only one so at the very least I'm merciful in that respect, and I always let them "break up" with me, that way they get to limp away with their dignity intact after having the best sex of their lives. Then they call me down the road and I plow them again cause hey it's the best sex of their lives.
Guess whats next on the chopping block me lads (and lasses)!
A mexican! (first one ever!)
And she's 4'9! (shortest ever!)
Oh god she's so little it's ridiculous. This is gonna be a like a scene from Legend of the Overfiend.
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How have you lived where you are and never had a Mexican?
I fucking love fucking short girls. I don't know why.
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I don't know it just never crossed my mind to actively seek one out.
-
It just clicked in my head: I've only slept with Mexicans. Wow.
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That's one way across the border.
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LOLOLOLOL ... At least one of them was an illegal.
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That's one way across the border.
Don't let them find out that no matter how much you suck on it...a green card won't come out of your dick.
Course I'm sure you meant women with Mexican heritage and not actual citizens of Mexico and thus my joke is ruined. So thanks for that you thoughtless bastard!
Edit: Then you go and post that and totally redeem yourself.
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I love this forum.
-
And it loves you. In that way.
-
Which is why there are so many forum sized condom wrappers laying around.
-
ugh...what's this urge?
For some reason I now too want to pound out an illegal immigrant!
And then call the INS after I'm done with her!
I'm getting hard just thinking about it!
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I wouldn't do that. There is no honor in it.
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What? Sure there is! America's Honor!
I'll be doing my part to rid the country of foreign invaders!
-
Hung out with ex girlfriend. Total negative experience. No sex and covered in bite marks.
inb4 foiled rape joke
-
Oh god I was in a cast and crew meeting for the short film I'm working on. It's all these cute nerd girls who cosplay and shit. I popped like 17 boners just being in the same room with them I was afraid that whenever I spoke it was going to come out as super deep preternatural demon voice.
Funny part was that the one that was the most interested had her boyfriend there and I couldn't help feeling like Kevin Nash when he calls out all the guys in the crowd who have their wives and girlfriends with them for being fools to bring them anywhere near Big Sexy.
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There is no honor in it. To send them back to such a shithole is dishonorable.
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Nigga you must be trollin.
Rounding them up and gassing them would be dishonorable.
-
I assure you I am not trolling.
I know so many illegals personally and have heard how things are. Being second class citizens here is far better than being in the shit hole that is Mexico, especially the border states.
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Well they can go back and sink on their own ship instead of fucking us over.
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The whole world is sinking.
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What?! Since when?!
Somebody get Kevin Costner!
-
I was hoping for more of a Pirates of Blackwater sort of scenario.
-
I'm doing this short indy film that is being done by 19 yr old girls. I can't even look at them for very long without feeling my fangs start to lengthen. When they're trying to talk to me all I see are their pulsating nubile vaginas glowing bright pink through their panties, and the urge to feed upon them drives me near to madness.
The sad thing for you is most of these girls already have been taken multiple times since they were 13....
It's all these cute nerd girls who cosplay and shit.
After watching footage of Comic con of the hot cosplaying chicks I wonder why it is my fate that I have not dated such cute and sexy and geeky cosplay girls in my life... the only girls I have dated weren't even remotely geeky.
I must be cursed to die alone after heroically saving the Earth from itself.
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The whole world is sinking.
Noy shitat! Surely you have dyed your hair black and combed it over one side covering your left eye!
-
I was hoping for more of a Pirates of Blackwater sort of scenario.
Dark Water?
-
I was hoping for more of a Pirates of Blackwater sort of scenario.
Dark Water?
Yes. Fuck. But yes, that.
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Darkwater Blackwater whatever If you don't speak english and/or don't belong here GEEETTT THHHEEEE FUCCKKK OUUTT!
My ancestors didn't kill all the indians so foreigners could invade without being shot.
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My ancestors didn't kill all the indians so foreigners could invade without being shot.
I don't know how to respond to such asshattery. So I'll make the poo dance. :poo:
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This isn't asshattery sonny jim!
I don't really have to go down the laundry list of why illegal immigrants are crap for this country do I?
I'll assume you already know all the damage they cause to our infrastructure and just don't care cause you're a communist pinko hippy.
Or wait...you're saying they're good for banging...
hmm...I hadn't thought about that before...
that and near slave labor would be the only things they bring to the table...
but banging is pretty huge in my book as you've all noticed I'm sure.
Can we sell out America for vag?
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The "mini-mex" as I've dubbed her, is coming over tomorrow.
I will decide after nailing her the worth of mexican poon and your arguments.
-
And you wonder why Gwynn thinks you're a dick.
-
I'm just say and doing what everyone is thinking about saying and doing.
and I'm doing it for the fat neck beards out there everywhere!
This is for you guys!
-
The "mini-mex" as I've dubbed her, is coming over tomorrow.
I will decide after nailing her the worth of mexican poon and your arguments.
Can I assume that you've fucked enough white chicks to understand how stupid that argument is? That you can't gage the sexual prowess of an entire racial group by one person? Maybe, just maybe, people are all different and there are as many good or bad lays in all groups, accounting for fucked up cultural repression in some circles.
-
Your logic and reason have no place here aDam!
-
Wrong aDam! Everything will be determine by signs and omens!
For example:
mini mex said not only is this the biggest dick she's ever taken it was also the best sex she's ever had.
Clearly this is a sign of the relationship between our two nations! We are the bigger better country and they can't get enough of our ginormous cock.
Then later I continued pounding the shit out of her vag and she eventually got sore.
This represents how we manipulate the price of produce and basically tell them how much we're going to pay for oranges.
But after she got sore I didn't keep pounding her until she died, instead I took her to marie calendar's for pie and coffee.
This represents us signing the NAFTA agreement in an effort to make economic peace with south america.
-
determined*
-
And her transmission of her genital warts to you symbolizes the cartels and their gangs blistering though our borders?
-
Wrong aDam! Everything will be determine by signs and omens!
For example:
mini mex said not only is this the biggest dick she's ever taken it was also the best sex she's ever had.
Clearly this is a sign of the relationship between our two nations! We are the bigger better country and they can't get enough of our ginormous cock.
Then later I continued pounding the shit out of her vag and she eventually got sore.
This represents how we manipulate the price of produce and basically tell them how much we're going to pay for oranges.
But after she got sore I didn't keep pounding her until she died, instead I took her to marie calendar's for pie and coffee.
This represents us signing the NAFTA agreement in an effort to make economic peace with south america.
Have you ever considered seeing a psychiatrist?
-
And her transmission of her genital warts to you symbolizes the cartels and their gangs blistering though our borders?
Gross! She didn't have any abnormalities on her vag. I haven't come this far to be struck down by your mortal venereal diseases. If I'm going to get one it will be from fucking a Lamia or some other mythical creature.
Have you ever considered seeing a psychiatrist?
Yes, have you?
-
Yes.
-
Jolly Good.
-
KALOO KALLAY!
I'm hunting a 19 yr old!
She didn't text me back today though.
I probably shouldn't have told her I have 3 balls this early in our courtship, but I think I can recover.
-
I'm disappointed. I keep clicking on this thread thinking it'll be about The Offspring.
-
I remember when I bought Ixnay on the Hombre and the cashier was all telling me about how they (the Offspring) were sell-outs. And then Americana came out. Hyuck.
-
You know who sells out? People who like money.
-
Jake Busey on vocals!
-
You know who sells out? People who like money.
Well, you pretty much have to. Especially when you need to raise that $200K to feed joor famblee! (http://www.dailyfinance.com/2011/09/19/does-it-really-cost-this-tea-party-congressman-200-000-to-feed/)
-
hey HEY!
what are you guys talking about?
This thread is about me getting all kinds of poon that I should be too old to get!
Stay on topic!
-
Let's talk about poon you should be too young to get. Like Hedda Bolgar.
-
Judy Dench.
-
Gilda Radner
-
Hey, old living poon, not dead. Have some respect! :nono:
-
Yeah! Besides you'd be way to tired to hit that after all that digging. Not to mention when G.E. Smith shows up swinging his guitar.
-
I forgot she was dead :/
-
Dude, two Gilda Radners could have lived and died in the time Hedda Bolgar has lived.
-
This is a momentous day for this thread!
I'm only talking to like 4 chicks but 2 of them are under 20!
That hasn't happened since the start of this thread back when I was in college!
God Bless America!
-
Oh, well then I guess we can close it now.
-
Only if I bang them both. Then everything will have come full circle and I'll open the Quatro Cinco Seis thread.
-
<Movie idea that I won't share omitted>
-
Crap, now I'll have to steal my script ideas elsewhere.
-
It's ok...I'm sure I'll post something you can steal soon.
-
I forgot to write that movie idea down! Well at least no one can steal it now...
New movie idea!
2 guys, one is an online dating lothario who is juggling 13 chicks from the web the other is Me (a guy who juggles 13 chicks offline) they meet and each one thinks that the other has it easy until they decided to trade places!
...
FUCK! that idea sucks! The one that I forgot was 10 times better.
-
Maybe you shouldn't be a writer, just an actor.
-
You gotta be both these days. Don't worry I'm pretty sure that last idea was similar to the first draft of The Matrix.
-
I'd say that idea is comparable to most films these days. I mean someone green lite the Zookeeper, someone thought Jack and Jill was a good idea.
-
I pounded out another 4'10" chick. This one was white though.
They're really fun but they can't handle it.
Trying on a size 5'1" on tuesday.
-
5'1" failure.
...if I won every time it would get boring anyway.
I've got 2 more in the works though!
Ass is stacked!
Tits like a hurricane!
-
I pounded out another 4'10" chick. This one was white though.
4"10'? Sounds like Zangief fucking Tinkerbell.
-
That's kind of how it was.
Protip; Someone that small can't position themselves properly during doggy style with their legs spread apart. Keep her legs together and put yours on the outside of hers to give them a proper rogering.
-
(http://i966.photobucket.com/albums/ae141/kamikazescot/Nerd%20stuff/the_more_you_know2.jpg)
-
Ok, yeah this is chronicles of my sexual exploits thread.
How you guys let it die in my absence is beyond reckoning.
Anyways, tonight is the night.
-
That's kind of how it was.
Protip; Someone that small can't position themselves properly during doggy style with their legs spread apart. Keep her legs together and put yours on the outside of hers to give them a proper rogering.
Surprisingly, I actually already knew this.
-
Well I did it, and I immediately lost interest afterwards. I kind of feel bad, but at the same time I don't care. The universe and my penis are both expanding. These events are nearly beyond comprehension. What is one more hymen busted amid the galaxies of vag yet to be expanded into.
-
I'm on a fucking rampage! Literally! M-M-M-M-MONSTER COMBO! Since the break up I've fucked 1 30 yr old. 1 20 yr old. 1 32 yr old. 1 40 yr old (she still has a banging body), and another 24 yr old sucked my cock...terribly. I mean how do you get to that age and not know how to...whatever.
I've got a 22 yr old and 28 yr old lined up.
You know this really is just like riding a bike.
-
Just nailed the 22 yr old. She said she normally doesn't hook up on the first date...
I feel like she was a whore so I didn't put it all the way in. I made sure there was latex separating us at all times and it didn't even matter, she still came all over the place and my comforter is in the dirty laundry now. All this time I didn't need to be using my whole dick! That's good to know cause I don't need to be rubbing crotches with these irresponsible swamp witches.
The final quarter of my dick will henceforward be held in reserve for shattering dimensional gates and repelling demigods.
-
It's as if a symphony ringing with heraldic fury is playing in my head as I vie to see how many women I can lie to and manipulate before this all comes crashing down in spectacular fashion! I'm not going to bother counting them until I'm sure I've passed 10 but we're getting there! I am in my element once more!
IDE
Chaotic Good Berserker
-
Cool story, bro
-
Coolest ever bro
-
I'm about to bang a 29 yr old psychotherapist. You'd think they could see past my bullshit but their jedi mind tricks are no match for my sith dick slangin.
-
I banged a 27 year old. She was tied up, but it was still pretty awesome.
-
Should I high five you for the kink...or call the police? Just need to be clear how this went down.
-
I'm too scared to bang my gf, because I strongly suspect she stopped taking her birth control pills
-
Anal, oral, pulling out. Problem solved.
-
In that order? That doesn't sound right.
-
Anal, oral, pulling out. Problem solved.
lmao
-
I'm too scared to bang my gf, because I strongly suspect she stopped taking her birth control pills
Rumbly if shes doing that without telling you with the sole purpose of getting pregnant then thats fucked up.
Learn from Simon Cowell and my dumbass father. If you dont want kids 1) dont stick your dick in crazy and 2) cut off your balls
-
I'm too scared to bang my gf, because I strongly suspect she stopped taking her birth control pills
Rumbly if shes doing that without telling you with the sole purpose of getting pregnant then thats fucked up.
Learn from Simon Cowell and my dumbass father. If you dont want kids 1) dont stick your dick in crazy and 2) cut off your balls
Your father cut off his balls?
-
(http://i.imgur.com/puhh3CD.jpg)
-
I'm too scared to bang my gf, because I strongly suspect she stopped taking her birth control pills
Rumbly if shes doing that without telling you with the sole purpose of getting pregnant then thats fucked up.
Learn from Simon Cowell and my dumbass father. If you dont want kids 1) dont stick your dick in crazy and 2) cut off your balls
Aye, I know.
This child obsession of hers is really fucking me up though. I fear I'm gonna lose her over it.
Oh well, hey ho for now I'll take Adam's advice
-
But just think of all the drunk babies you'll be missing out on.
-
Your father cut off his balls?
Just the insides.
Oh well, hey ho for now I'll take Adam's advice
]
Whos Adam? WAIT. Is Chopper, Adam? sailor moon loving-adam????
-
Fiero is dis u
-
In that order? That doesn't sound right.
As long as you wash but yeah that seems a bit backwards. I'd do oral, anal, pulling out optionally.
This child obsession of hers is really fucking me up though. I fear I'm gonna lose her over it.
Oh well, hey ho for now I'll take Adam's advice
Nice. My other advice would be to get out. That's what I did. It cost me a lot but I'm doing much better now. Most women will want kids though. Good luck on finding one that doesn't.
Whos Adam? WAIT. Is Chopper, Adam? sailor moon loving-adam?
w0rd. Adam Rulz!
-
Fiero is dis u
I got to "vegan vaginas" before I couldn't take it anymore and closed the tab.
-
In that order? That doesn't sound right.
As long as you wash but yeah that seems a bit backwards. I'd do oral, anal, pulling out optionally.
Remember to watch for the drip. I have at least one friend that got a girl pregnant doing it in the butt.
-
The name, folks, is aDam. And he is everyone you think you know online.
-
This child obsession of hers is really fucking me up though. I fear I'm gonna lose her over it.
Oh well, hey ho for now I'll take Adam's advice
Nice. My other advice would be to get out. That's what I did. It cost me a lot but I'm doing much better now. Most women will want kids though. Good luck on finding one that doesn't.
You reminded me of this former co-worker of mine who proudly declared she had two kids: her son and her husband. Blech. Nice girl, but blech. Maybe you guys should try lookin' for cougars.
-
I was considering going gay, but gay marriage ruined that option
-
Remember to watch for the drip. I have at least one friend that got a girl pregnant doing it in the butt.
-
This child obsession of hers is really fucking me up though. I fear I'm gonna lose her over it.
Oh well, hey ho for now I'll take Adam's advice
Nice. My other advice would be to get out. That's what I did. It cost me a lot but I'm doing much better now. Most women will want kids though. Good luck on finding one that doesn't.
You reminded me of this former co-worker of mine who proudly declared she had two kids: her son and her husband. Blech. Nice girl, but blech. Maybe you guys should try lookin' for cougars.
A lot of them have kids, though.
-
Maybe you guys should try lookin' for cougars.
No. Not my cup of tea. I'll do 40 year olds when I'm 50+. Not now.
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Well, uh, you could always snip the ol' ropes. And future Fifi, Rumblies, aDams and whatnot could be put on cubes until you're ready to bake 'em.
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Given a choice I'd skip the surgery, I'm not a big fan of anyone going near my genitals with sharp objects
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Just pump out some crotch dropplings!
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Given a choice I'd skip the surgery, I'm not a big fan of anyone going near my genitals with sharp objects
til you get some golddigger pregnant at 55 and then the whore brainwashes you to leave her most of your inheritance to her skank ass even though it was supposed to be for your kids
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til you get some golddigger pregnant at 55 and then the whore brainwashes you to leave her most of your inheritance to her skank ass even though it was supposed to be for your kids
I won't do that.
I don't plan to do that until I'm at least 65
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my dad turns 65 this year :( :'(
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Well, uh, you could always snip the ol' ropes. And future Fifi, Rumblies, aDams and whatnot could be put on cubes until you're ready to bake 'em.
I'll take my chances.
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B-b-but... sperm cubes! :(
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Enough! Can't you guys just stay on topic and list the people you're trying to fuck?!
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I think you're the only one doing that. The rest of us are just walking all over it because we don't give a fuck.
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I'd only post on this board that I fucked someone...if I fucked someone from this board. And even then I might not. I never told of that one night of passion I shared with Fiero.
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It's better that way. But the way IDE spins his obscene tales is always entertaining.
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Is it?
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Is it?
No. It really is not that entertaining.
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I can't help the reality in which you choose to live.
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Yeeeeeah, I live in Fiero's reality. Even if I didn't, I think I'd move there.
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Woah...I wouldn't go that far. For all you know Fiero has a basement full of dead hookers in his reality.
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It's high prose. Only the academically initiated can comprehend it. Where did you cretins matriculate again? Oh yeah...
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I've been academically inebriated, does that count?
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I was educationally sodomized. At least that's what it felt like until I got that loan paid off.
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Why didn uncle bama make dem dispeer like he sed he gone do?
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Blablablabla
You know nothing little boy. When you are ready to learn, ask me or Faye what real life is like
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You know nothing little boy. When you are ready to learn, ask me or Faye what real life is like
<3
Guys if you don't want to read his stuff just block him like I did a long time ago.
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That was your reaction to my obama comment?
I wasn't even...ah well ok whatever.
Anyways, I don't know about you but the only thing faye knows about real life is how to get knocked up by a powet ranger.
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I fingered an Armenian chick tonight. She smelled like day old kebab and wouldn't let me hit it on the first date. Her tits are ginormous though. I didn't even ask what size but I'll post a pic later.
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Anyways, I don't know about you but the only thing faye knows about real life is how to get knocked up by a powet ranger.
Well who did you expect to knock her up? Zordon? Rita Repulsa? (http://www.rabbitinasuit.com/emoticons/R-T/shrug.gif)
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Lord Zedd of course.
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Anyways, I don't know about you but the only thing faye knows about real life is how to get knocked up by a powet ranger.
Well who did you expect to knock her up? Zordon? Rita Repulsa? (http://www.rabbitinasuit.com/emoticons/R-T/shrug.gif)
wtf he said that?
A powet ranger? Bitch you better know that he's Jiban
Also, found you on fb
<img src="http://i.imgur.com/bAglHHR.png" (http://imgur.com/bAglHHR)
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Yes, he said that.
Is that fb thing a reference to something?
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What's wrong with fucking a Powet Ranger? <3 Amy Jo Johnson.
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She's still hot...
Never saw flashpoint, maybe I'll google what it was about later.
I just broke up with the 29 year old therapist because of some shit that gave me flashbacks to my last singular relationship. She's begging me to talk to her and I'm of many minds about whether I should or not. The 21 yr old that left me didn't give me any closure, should I now pay that wickedness forward or should I rise above it? If this was a movie you'd choose rise above it, and I think that's going to happen but I feel the pull of the other ley line as well. The one where I don't say anything and let her fade out of my existence as was done to me. See I'm not just banging these girls. I care about all of them. I have different personalities with a lot of them, like the many incarnations of godhead I lavish my presence upon them. Or maybe I'm bat shit crazy, we're all just tiny specks in an ever expanding universe. Who cares if you like Tom Hiddleston or not, if your debit card is scratched and won't run through a scanner, or whether I ever talk to this emotionally fractured red head again. Nothing matters, nothing at all...now throw yourself from the top of a building in entropic despair, or don't. It won't matter either way...
is one way to look at it.
OR....
YOU CAN JUST KEEP ON FUCKING! AND FUCKING! AND FUCKING! AND FUCKING! THRUSTING AND SLAMMING YOUR PENIS INTO EVERY LAST LIVING THING! IN THE HOPES THAT ONE DAY SOMEWHERE, BILLIONS OF YEARS FROM NOW, SOME BEING WROUGHT FROM YOUR SPLOOGE EONS AGO WILL FINALLY RISE UP THE EVOLUTIONARY LADDER HIGH ENOUGH TO PULL BACK THE VEIL OF INFINITE MYSTERY, THROW DOWN THE POWERS THAT BE AND RULE THE MULTIVERSE WITH AN IRON DONG!
(Actually the dong will probably be made of some unknown material infinitely harder than iron but you know what I'm saying.)
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Being amongst living things that doesn't want your penis in it, I think you should call her, even if it's to tell her you're still only interested in channelling your inner Bacchus.
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You're in the clear. My penis only goes in living female things...and some inanimate female things, like pool pumps.
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You can have sex with a pool pump? I did not know that.
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There is something to learn from everyone you encounter in this fleeting existence.
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That was your reaction to my obama comment?
I wasn't even...ah well ok whatever.
Anyways, I don't know about you but the only thing faye knows about real life is how to get knocked up by a powet ranger.
That guy's a Power Ranger?
I don't see how that's a problem.
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I don't remember where we were talking about Miley twerking, so I'm posting this here. Seems appropriate.
http://imgur.com/gallery/GyiFtjJ
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I'll allow it!
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I don't remember where we were talking about Miley twerking, so I'm posting this here. Seems appropriate.
http://imgur.com/gallery/GyiFtjJ
Would have been perfect if during that face close-up, her tongue popped out a couple of times.
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I ended up nailing tjat armenian chick, now I'm after a girl fro sri lanka. I might have to rename my dick Carmen Slamdiego.
But all of this has been made irrelevant by an app called tinder. It catalogs girls that are interested in you so that you dont have to make a list anymore.
Farewell list of bitches that I need to bang you've been supplanted by technology. What an age we live in.
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I swear I thought Tinder was a gay thing until last month. Thanks, Kathy Griffin.
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I don't remember making that last post :D
Carmen Slamdiego! I'm stealing that...from me!
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I've heard a lot of your material is actually stolen from yourself.
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I fucked a really cute girl in the bathroom at my friend's birthday party! No digital age apps involved, just good old fashioned "Hey there's a cat in there!". There really was a cat in the bathroom (that's where they hide it during parties). Once inside the bathroom we talked for awhile and I ended up throwing her on the sink and pulling her panties to the side.
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*snap*
Just like that.