I'm so goth I shit bats

[The D]

Since you think my icon makes me goth, I've taken a test to see how Goth I really am

Are your children Goth?

Listed below are some warning signs to indicate if your child may have gone
astray from the Lord. Gothic (or goth) is a very obscure and often dangerous
culture that young teenagers are prone to participating in. The gothic
culture leads young, susceptible minds into an imagined world of evil,
darkness, and violence. Please seek immediate attention through counselling,
prayer, and parental guidance to rid your child of Satan's temptations if
five or more of the following are applicable to your child.

(Highlight what applies to you)

-Frequently wears black clothing.
-Wears band and/or rock t-shirts.
-Wears excessive black eye makeup,lipstick or nail polish.
-Wears any odd silver jewelry or symbols.
-Shows an interest in piercings or tattoos.
-Listens to gothic or any other anti-social genres of music. (Marilyn Manson
claims to be the anti-Christ, and publicly speaks against the Lord. Please
discard any such albums IMMEDIATELY.)
-Associates with other people that dress, act or speak eccentrically.
-Shows a declining interest in wholesome activities, such as: the Bible, prayer, church or sports.
-Shows an increasing interest in death, vampires, magic, the occult, witchcraft or anything else that involves Satan.
-Takes drugs.
-Drinks alcohol. (does that make Jesus goth too?)
-Is suicidal and/or depressed.
-Cuts, burns or partakes in any other method of self-mutilation.(This is a Satanic ritual that uses pain to detract from the light of God and His love. Please seek immediate attention for this at your local mental health center.)
-Complains of boredom.
-Sleeps too excessively or too little.
-Is excessively awake during the night.
-Demands an unusual amount of privacy.
-Spends large amounts of time alone.
-Requests time alone and quietness. (This is so that your chid may speak to
evil sprits through meditation.)
-Insists on spending time with friends while unaccompanied by an adult.
-Disregards authority figures; teachers, priests, nuns and elders are but a few examples of this.
-Misbehaves at school.
-Misbehaves at home.
-Eats excessively or too little
-Eats goth-related foods. Count Dracula cereal is an example of this.
-Drinks blood or expresses an interest in drinking blood. (Vampires believe this is how to attain Satan. This act is very dangerous and should be stopped immediately.)
-Watches cable television or any other corrupted media sources. (Ask your local church for proper programs that your child may watch.)
-Plays videos games that contains violence or role-playing nature.
-Uses the internet excessively and frequently makes time for the computer.
-Makes Satanic symbols and/or violently shakes head to music.
-Dances to music in a provocative or sexual manner.
-Expresses an interest in sex.
-Masturbates.
-Is homosexual and/or bisexual.
-Pursues dangerous cult religions. Such include: Satanism, Scientology, Philosophy, Paganism, Wicca, Hinduism and Buddhism.
-Wears pins, stickers or anything else that contains these various phrases: "I'm so gothic, I'm dead", "woe is me", "I'm a goth".
-Claims to be a goth.

If five or more of these apply to your child, please intervene immediately. The gothic culture is dangerous and Satan thrives within it. If any of these problems persist, enlist your child into your local mental health center.  

[ChelseySuzie]

That's more of the mainstream perception of Goth.  I saw a list of what a "true goth" is somewhere.   I fit the latter description.

*does the list for shits and giggles*

-Frequently wears black clothing.
-Wears band and/or rock t-shirts.
-Wears excessive black eye makeup,lipstick or nail polish.
-Wears any odd silver jewelry or symbols.
-Shows an interest in piercings or tattoos.
-Listens to gothic or any other anti-social genres of music. (Marilyn Manson
claims to be the anti-Christ, and publicly speaks against the Lord. Please
discard any such albums IMMEDIATELY.)
-Associates with other people that dress, act or speak eccentrically.
-Shows a declining interest in wholesome activities, such as: the Bible, prayer, church or sports.
-Shows an increasing interest in death, vampires, magic, the occult, witchcraft or anything else that involves Satan.
-Takes drugs.
-Drinks alcohol.
-Is suicidal and/or depressed.
-Cuts, burns or partakes in any other method of self-mutilation.(This is a Satanic ritual that uses pain to detract from the light of God and His love. Please seek immediate attention for this at your local mental health center.)
-Complains of boredom.
-Sleeps too excessively or too little.
-Is excessively awake during the night.
-Demands an unusual amount of privacy.
-Spends large amounts of time alone.
-Requests time alone and quietness. (This is so that your chid may speak to
evil sprits through meditation.)
-Insists on spending time with friends while unaccompanied by an adult. (duh, I do all the time)
-Disregards authority figures; teachers, priests, nuns and elders are but a few examples of this.
-Misbehaves at school.
-Misbehaves at home.
-Eats excessively or too little
-Eats goth-related foods. Count Dracula cereal is an example of this.
-Drinks blood or expresses an interest in drinking blood. (Vampires believe this is how to attain Satan. This act is very dangerous and should be stopped immediately.)
-Watches cable television or any other corrupted media sources. (Ask your local church for proper programs that your child may watch.)
-Plays videos games that contains violence or role-playing nature.
-Uses the internet excessively and frequently makes time for the computer.
-Makes Satanic symbols and/or violently shakes head to music.
-Dances to music in a provocative or sexual manner.
-Expresses an interest in sex.
-Masturbates.
-Is homosexual and/or bisexual.
-Pursues dangerous cult religions. Such include: Satanism, Scientology, Philosophy, Paganism, Wicca, Hinduism and Buddhism.
-Wears pins, stickers or anything else that contains these various phrases: "I'm so gothic, I'm dead", "woe is me", "I'm a goth".
-Claims to be a goth.

Oh dang, I still win!

[TM2 Rampage]

Did Chelsey just take the list seriously?

[Derrick]

Yeah, Im not Goth.

[ChelseySuzie]

Did Chelsey just take the list seriously?

Indeed I did

[Derrick]

*breathes heavily*

[ChelseySuzie]

*breathes heavily*

 

Get away from my bedroom window!

[Derrick]

awwww

[B E C K]

Yeah, isn't it bad enough you hacked into her phone?

[Derrick]

I didn't expect to see her with Fred Durst.

[ChelseySuzie]

Ew, Fred Durst???

You couldn't pick anyone better?

[Faye Valentine]

-Pursues dangerous cult religions. Such include: Satanism, Scientology, Philosophy, Paganism, Wicca, Hinduism and Buddhism.

Buddhism? a dangerous cult religion? WTF?

[Derrick]

Ew, Fred Durst???

You couldn't pick anyone better?

Colin Ferrel?

[ChelseySuzie]

Meh, getting better.

[Derrick]

Carson Kresley?

[ChelseySuzie]

Carson Kresley?

   

[Derrick]

Too far?

[Wickedly Yours E]

-Associates with other people that dress, act or speak eccentrically.
-Shows a declining interest in wholesome activities, such as: the Bible, prayer, church or sports.
-Takes drugs. (Do prescriptions count?)
-Complains of boredom.
-Sleeps too excessively or too little.
-Insists on spending time with friends while unaccompanied by an adult.
-Disregards authority figures; teachers, priests, nuns and elders are but a few examples of this.
-Plays videos games that contains violence or role-playing nature.
-Uses the internet excessively and frequently makes time for the computer.
-Makes Satanic symbols and/or violently shakes head to music.
-Expresses an interest in sex.
-Masturbates.


o_O I guess the average american is a Goth. Fuck Christianity.

[Bernie AKA]

My votes for the stupidest ones:

-Frequently wears black clothing.
-Listens to gothic or any other anti-social genres of music. (Marilyn Manson
claims to be the anti-Christ, and publicly speaks against the Lord. Please
discard any such albums IMMEDIATELY.)

MM is Alice Cooper 2.0.  It cracks me up when bands like Immolation skate through town at least twice a year and don't even rustle the fundie's bloomers.  

-Associates with other people that dress, act or speak eccentrically.
-Shows a declining interest in wholesome activities, such as: the Bible,
prayer, church or sports.

Yep, nothing more wholesome than watching some lunatic beat his daughter's softball coach to a pulp because Cupcake got benched for partying instead of showing up for practice.

-Is excessively awake during the night.

I believe the medical term they seek is called insomnia.

-Demands an unusual amount of privacy.
-Spends large amounts of time alone.
-Requests time alone and quietness. (This is so that your chid may speak to
evil sprits through meditation.)

I won't even get into how inane this is.  Introverts can get downright psychotic without time alone.

 -Insists on spending time with friends while unaccompanied by an adult.

Hmmm.  Sounds like a normal progression theough adolescence.

-Eats goth-related foods. Count Dracula cereal is an example of this.

WTF???  Do they mean Count Chocula??  

-Watches cable television or any other corrupted media
sources.

 Like EWTN perhaps?

-Pursues dangerous cult religions. Philosophy, Paganism, Wicca, Hinduism and Buddhism.

Wow.  Even though Aristotle & Socrates had no concept of Satan, they worshipped him.  Talk about efficient marketing.




 

[B E C K]

-Eats goth-related foods. Count Dracula cereal is an example of this.

WTF??? Do they mean Count Chocula?? 

No, no, Count Dracula is the cereal that looks just like Count Chocula, but has little coagulated bits of blood in it.

[Faye Valentine]

-Shows an interest in piercings or tattoos.
-Drinks alcohol.
-Sleeps too excessively or too little
-Eats excessively or too little
-Expresses an interest in sex.

sounds like a normal university student!

[ChelseySuzie]

-Eats goth-related foods. Count Dracula cereal is an example of this.

WTF??? Do they mean Count Chocula?? 

No, no, Count Dracula is the cereal that looks just like Count Chocula, but has little coagulated bits of blood in it.

Is the blood fortified with Iron and Vitamin B?

[Fiero]

-Eats goth-related foods. Count Dracula cereal is an example of this.

WTF??? Do they mean Count Chocula?? 

No, no, Count Dracula is the cereal that looks just like Count Chocula, but has little coagulated bits of blood in it.

Is the blood fortified with Iron and Vitamin B?

Technically, the Iron parts true, but it's kind of rusty once leaves the body.  The B I'm not sure about.

[ChelseySuzie]

I knew about the iron part.  The Vitamin B was just a joke.

[Sexual Merla]

-Frequently wears black clothing.*** Black has a sliming effect.
-Wears excessive black eye makeup,lipstick or nail polish.      *** WTF?
-Wears any odd silver jewelry or symbols.*** So What?
-Shows an interest in piercings or tattoos. *** I want a hieroglyphic Owl on my right ankle.
-]Listens to gothic or any other anti-social genres of music.      *** What’s wrong with being anti-social.
-Associates with other people that dress, act or speak eccentrically      *** It’s called diveristy.
-Takes drugs.*** Does diet Rockstar accompanied with 2 asprin count?
-Is suicidal and/or depressed.*** I’m depressed because I’m single.
-Sleeps too excessively or too little.*** 24 hours in day are not enough.
-Demands an unusual amount of privacy.
-Spends large amounts of time alone.
-Requests time alone and quietness. *** It's called down time.
-Insists on spending time with friends while unaccompanied by an adult.      ***Hello I am an adult and so are my friends.
-Eats excessively or too little.*** Ice cream makes me feel better.
-Watches cable television or any other corrupted media sources. (Ask your local church for proper programs that your child may watch.) ***What about dish?
-Plays videos games that contains violence or role-playing nature.      *** It’s make believe.
-Uses the internet excessively and frequently makes time for the computer.      *** It’s how I get my news.
-Dances to music in a provocative or sexual manner.   
                      *** “It’s getting hot in herre!”
-Expresses an interest in sex. *** It’s only natural!
-Masturbates. *** Would you rather I went out whoreing myself!?!
-Pursues dangerous cult religions. Such include: Satanism, Scientology, Philosophy, Paganism, Wicca, Hinduism and Buddhism.      *** What ever happen to being open minded?!?
 

[Derrick]

I masturbate all the time. It's better with a partner.

[B E C K]

Race each other.  Ready, set, go!!  **random Mario Kart music**

[Derrick]

I always lose. The biggest lie is that women take forever to orgasm.

[B E C K]

And when they use the red turtle shell.

[ChelseySuzie]

The green ones make you horny.