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The FCC will no longer be able to baby-sit for your children, a spokesperson for the FCC said in a taped message left on Friday, because the FCC is a "little older now" and looking to do different things with their lives. The last minute decision by the FCC has left millions of parents wondering who will be responsible for raising their children. A local man expressed the outrage surely felt by many throughout the country. "This is great, just great!" said sale rep Jack DeLante, while rifling through his rolodex looking for someone else who might be available to baby-sit last minute. "So on top of working, hanging out with my buddies, and juggling both my wife and my mistress, I now have to worry about over-seeing what my kid watches on TV? What the hell am I paying taxes for!?" The sudden loss of the FCC as a reliable baby-sitter comes as even more of a surprise when you consider how well the government treated them, in tips, presents and other privileges. With free first class plane rides, trips to such places as New Orleans and Las Vegas, and even going so far as to let them have friends over while they were on the job, the government thought they had provided a situation where the FCC had it pretty good. But that wasn't enough to keep one FCC commissioner sitting at home on Saturday nights. "Like, it's been really cool and all, and you guys have been great," her spokesman said, reading from a prepared statement, "but I just got a job at the Ice Cream Hut on Rt. 3, and a lot of my friends hang out there, so it's a lot more fun! And my boyfriend just got a car, so, you know, we'll probably just want to hang out and drive around or whatever." The summer plans of the other FCC commissioners is not known, although a spokesman confirmed that one commissioner based part of his decision to quit on his desire to just "loaf around" and "find" himself. Meanwhile, concerned parents like Danny Clitstein, founder of the American Families First, are finding themselves in the difficult role of actually having to parent their children. "I really don't know what to do," Danny told reporters, "I have relied so heavily on the FCC always being there for me, to be there for my kids, and now I guess I'll have to stay home and monitor what my own children watch, instead of spending countless hours at the AFF headquarters, shooting the shit and sending out threatening letters to advertisers." Clitstein took one last look around the office. Meanwhile, the government has been talking to that nice girl Melissa who just moved in down the block, to see if she's interested in picking up some part-time work, or if she has any friends that might be interested.
The last minute decision by the FCC has left millions of parents wondering who will be responsible for raising their children.
She's 3rd-world rich.That's a bit below middle-class by U.S. standards.
Meanwhile, concerned parents like Danny Clitstein...
