I think you should reseasrch this subjust further Bernie. It shouldn't be hard for you to get knocked up. And after the baby is born you can sell it on the Black market for a couple million.
Nah, toe, I want to keep my mind. Let me share a a little holiday tale on how my sister has lost hers:
A bit of backstory: in 1997, shortly after our dad died, my then 17-year-old drop-out eldest nephew (the one who's getting my grandmother's diamond ring for his girlfriend) beat his mother up on my dad's front porch. See, he had visions of being given the house and was quite put out to discover that it wasn't gonna happen. The locks were changed, and my taking my sister's side was the beginning of his schism with me. The fact that Eddie took MY side and thought my nephew was being a total shit damned Eddie in his eyes forevermore.
FF to present day: He's due to arrive December 26 with woman in tow, so I didn't bother my sister, who was frantically trying to prepare the house to Spoilsford's exacting standards (he's expressed shame at being their son before) on Christmas Day, knowing she would call when she had a chance. When she did, I mentioned having received Spoilsford's form letter asking for money to go with a church group on a missionary trip to Haiti. (He's very giving & devout with those he considers "beneath" him, like the underprivileged , but has no problem with being a "good Christian" while despising my husband :rolleyes: ) As the tone of his letter led me to believe this was very important to him, and I'll endorse anything that might make him realize he wasn't reared on Eight Mile Road as he likes to make himself out to be, I decided to give him $50 for his 12/22 birthday and $100 for Xmas in the form of checks made out to the organization for his $350 plane ticket as requested in the letter. Almost half of his ticket. However, when I tell Sister Dear this, I get a long moment of silence. Then:
"well, I don't know what he'll say about that...."
I believe "thank you" is considered a correct response in polite society. <_< However, in the interest of family harmony, I simply asked what she meant.
"I don't know if he'll want to spend birthday & Christmas money on his trip."
EXCUSE ME?
!!! :angry:
Sooo, lemme get this sraight: I need to make a contribution for the trip he sent me a beg letter on PLUS give him money or buy him birthday and Christmas presents?
FUCK
THAT
SHITI'm considering a Best Buy card for birthday, a Gap card for Christmas, and a chell for $25 to the church group. More than generous, I think, for someone who hasn't so much as called me on my birthday for the past 7 years. Oh, and when she had mentioned that he wanted gift cards earlier in the month, she had said not to worry about coming over because I could mail them to him. In other words, I'm not invited to Christmas, which they're having tonight. Tom is safely out of town and doesn't even know about this yet. Not that an adopted fag's opinion matters, right?
So thank you, Sister Dear. Thanks for the amusing hot coals dance you do whenever your abusive child calls the tune. Another belated thank you for forgetting who stood up for you and protected you. Thank you for presuming that the world owes your Goldensprog whatever he wants. And while gratitude is in the air,
you might want to thank God that you managed to have another decent child and pay him comparable attention once in a while.
Oh, and try to wait a while before you hit me up to loan you money again. I'm not feeling very charitable at the moment. :angry:
