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Author Topic: Happy 'dress up a tree and wait for a fatman in a red suit to rape your privacy'  (Read 7662 times)

Derrick

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...day. Was it too wordy? ???

HAPPY CHRISTMAS!!! :homo:
I said its hot outside let me go swimming in your eyes;
We been running for awhile. Why don't you lay dow, I'll make you smile.
I could never ask for nothing better than this;
It's just tequila and the beach, it's quite salty when we kiss.

Wickedly Yours E

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I don't want it to be easy, I want it to be right.

Fiero

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Still, it has humorous content.
Get a little closer let it fold
Cut open my sternum and pull
My little ribs around you

B E C K

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I fell asleep at 7 pm and woke up at 3am.

Derrick

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Well ok.
I said its hot outside let me go swimming in your eyes;
We been running for awhile. Why don't you lay dow, I'll make you smile.
I could never ask for nothing better than this;
It's just tequila and the beach, it's quite salty when we kiss.

B E C K

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It doesn't matter.  It was just Poor Christmas.  Less gifts, less cookies, and 99% of my family lives in the same town so it's not like I miss seeing anybody.  My body clock's been completely off this week and I sleep early and wake up between 2 and 4 am.

Derrick

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We had a wierd X-Mas. Since we don't really want anything, Kary bought me a new Santoku knife, a car hammer thingy to smash my windshield if anything bad ever happens, and some magneitc spice tins. I bought her a small digital camera, some manga, and a pair of thermal pants. Then we had a good meal at a portuguese restaurant, except her fillet was overcooked and my brother wanted to kill our unattentive waiter. The guy actually tried to talk down my brother from ordering a Blue Moon to order some Miller Lite stuff. Really?

All in all, a good Christmas since the last three were spent at Kary's Mom's house in Georgia. I know she misses mommy, but this year she at least had snow and some decent food. Seriously, who over cooks a fillet mignon?
I said its hot outside let me go swimming in your eyes;
We been running for awhile. Why don't you lay dow, I'll make you smile.
I could never ask for nothing better than this;
It's just tequila and the beach, it's quite salty when we kiss.

Rama

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I fell asleep at 7 pm and woke up at 3am.

Nothing wrong with that and don't let anyone tell you otherwise.


and actually this was a pretty good one for me. There was even snow, which never happens. Not a lot of gifts, but about 80% of them where something I actually wanted or liked. (leave it to my aunt to refuse to buy me something I like cause she thinks it's silly. I actually got one of those stupid Hickory Farms basket things. Ugh.)

Derrick

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Me and Kary considered getting one for my Dad, but then we decided to buy him useful things.
I said its hot outside let me go swimming in your eyes;
We been running for awhile. Why don't you lay dow, I'll make you smile.
I could never ask for nothing better than this;
It's just tequila and the beach, it's quite salty when we kiss.

B E C K

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Quote
a car hammer thingy to smash my windshield if anything bad ever happens,

Now that is a gift from a woman who loves you.  [And that is said completely without sarcasm.]

Wickedly Yours E

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Nerf Vulcan mini-gun. Yes.

I don't want it to be easy, I want it to be right.

Rama

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I actually almost bought that when Wal-Mart had it on sale for 25 after Black Friday. I just think unloading with that would be Hella-fun.

Rama

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And I'm surprised this hasn't turned into a Loot thread yet.

B E C K

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I don't have any loot.  Pajamas, two make-up bags, a cheap clock that doesn't work, a frog ornament (this aunt always gives me the best simplest gifts--which I prefer because anyone who tries harder fails anyway).  $50 dollars cash that I used for groceries.

Rama

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That's loot. Maybe not a lot, but still loot. You didn't pay for it so it's loot.

And I did slightly better getting MST3k vol. 16, Big Bang Theory Season 1, Star Trek (but not the 2-disc special edition with Klingons bitches) 30 bucks cash, 50 buck chell, 50 buck gift card. A Hickory Farms gift basket (Cranberry Mustard...really?) and a box of T-shirts I'll never wear.

Fiero

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I literally have no loot, except the blanket and $10 gift card I took to play one of those stupid games at an extended family gathering. Close family hasn't done any Christmas stuff because two of my siblings and their spouses and children, as well as my parents decided they're going to Disney World, so none of them have any money. Good thing, too, because this month I had to pay a mechanic to tell me a car was in shit condition, then got it scrapped and didn't get the money from it because the car was at a shop that was charging me for 'storage' while I was trying to get a loan to pay off the ridiculous amounts of repairs needed for it. Also had my first months rent at the beginning of the month (same time the car went to shit), and put a small down payment on a car in the first half, which I borrowed from my girlfriend, and so the first half of my month was fucked. Second half wasn't so bad, I payed my girlfriend back and payed the "presumptive tax" on the title transfer out of my second chell (I miss getting three checks a month two months a year). Then, when I think everything's great, the ignition in my new used car is damaged somehow, and has to be repaired or cleaned or unjammed or some shit, and it was Christmas weekend so the locksmith charged a bit extra, and this time I borrowed from my father, and now rent and bills are around the corner. What I'm explaining is that if I'd been able to afford gifts at all, they would have been some shitty fucking gifts.
Get a little closer let it fold
Cut open my sternum and pull
My little ribs around you

Sam

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I got a Crockpot slow cooker, an add-on cymbal for še Rock Band Drums, a flannel shirt, and a Gamestop gift card.

Faye Valentine

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I don't have any loot.  Pajamas
My uncle gave me pjs too! What kind of gift is that? seriously.

Fiero

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A comfy one? As long as your uncle didn't you give you creepy lingerie.
Get a little closer let it fold
Cut open my sternum and pull
My little ribs around you

Derrick

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...crotchless panties?

"Yeah... didja want to model it for me?"
I said its hot outside let me go swimming in your eyes;
We been running for awhile. Why don't you lay dow, I'll make you smile.
I could never ask for nothing better than this;
It's just tequila and the beach, it's quite salty when we kiss.

B E C K

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I don't have any loot.  Pajamas
My uncle gave me pjs too! What kind of gift is that? seriously.

A few years ago I got some I liked but since then, the pj presents have been falling flat.  I have enough shit to sleep in.  Something else, pwease?

Derrick

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...another purse.
I said its hot outside let me go swimming in your eyes;
We been running for awhile. Why don't you lay dow, I'll make you smile.
I could never ask for nothing better than this;
It's just tequila and the beach, it's quite salty when we kiss.

B E C K

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I would not mind it as much as pajamas, to be honest.

Faye Valentine

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A comfy one? As long as your uncle didn't you give you creepy lingerie.
A manly one :-( I like feminine pjs <3 The top is blue and the bottom is red with black. I'm pretty sure they just went to Macy's and bought the first pj they saw that thought would fit me now D:

B E C K

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:lol:  The one I liked that I got a few years back was kinda masculine-looking, but it was hella comfy.  The last two/three pj sets I've gotten though look like they were made for teen girls.  The pants have little black shoes and dresses all over them.  Spew.

Derrick

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Kary wears my PJs, so I sleep naked most of the time.
I said its hot outside let me go swimming in your eyes;
We been running for awhile. Why don't you lay dow, I'll make you smile.
I could never ask for nothing better than this;
It's just tequila and the beach, it's quite salty when we kiss.

B E C K

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Like you go to sleep and then she peels them off of you and wears them?

Fiero

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That sounds like it would make for a hilarious short film.
Get a little closer let it fold
Cut open my sternum and pull
My little ribs around you

B E C K

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Set to <a href="
>Benny Hill theme music[/url]?

Derrick

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Like you go to sleep and then she peels them off of you and wears them?
Nah, she'll pop them on.

This morning though, not a good idea to sleep naked when you set the heat to 60. Bbbbbrrrrrrrrrrrr.
I said its hot outside let me go swimming in your eyes;
We been running for awhile. Why don't you lay dow, I'll make you smile.
I could never ask for nothing better than this;
It's just tequila and the beach, it's quite salty when we kiss.

Rodent of Unusual Size

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Political Correctness is a doctrine, fostered by a delusional, illogical, liberal minority and rabidly promoted by an unscrupulous mainstream media, which holds forth the proposition that it is entirely possible to pick up a turd by the clean end.

Rama

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The world hasn't been the same since Mr. Hill left us.

O.K. someone get into their panties so the rest of us can chase them around and 1.25 speed.

Derrick

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*cries while doing so*

Why, Father Padraig?
I said its hot outside let me go swimming in your eyes;
We been running for awhile. Why don't you lay dow, I'll make you smile.
I could never ask for nothing better than this;
It's just tequila and the beach, it's quite salty when we kiss.

Rama

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Now wait. It has to be a girl. If one of us guys dresses up in Panties and runs around then we aren't on Benny Hill. We would be on Monty Python.

Derrick

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Did you know they hated being compared to Benny Hill?
I said its hot outside let me go swimming in your eyes;
We been running for awhile. Why don't you lay dow, I'll make you smile.
I could never ask for nothing better than this;
It's just tequila and the beach, it's quite salty when we kiss.

B E C K

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Cocksicle?

Fiero

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Did you know they hated being compared to Benny Hill?

Considering the humor was quite different, I could certainly understand it.
Get a little closer let it fold
Cut open my sternum and pull
My little ribs around you

Derrick

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I enjoy that when they realized they were done, they quit. More people need to do that in life.
I said its hot outside let me go swimming in your eyes;
We been running for awhile. Why don't you lay dow, I'll make you smile.
I could never ask for nothing better than this;
It's just tequila and the beach, it's quite salty when we kiss.

Fiero

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You mean Python? I think they actually wanted to quite before they did, but made sure it didn't drag on to badly.

You know what show I wish had lasted longer? Fawlty Towers. Fucking excellent. DON'T TALK ABOUT THE WAR!!
Get a little closer let it fold
Cut open my sternum and pull
My little ribs around you

Rodent of Unusual Size

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Did you know they hated being compared to Benny Hill?
Considering the humor was quite different, I could certainly understand it.

They weren't as funny as Benny Hill, anyway.
Political Correctness is a doctrine, fostered by a delusional, illogical, liberal minority and rabidly promoted by an unscrupulous mainstream media, which holds forth the proposition that it is entirely possible to pick up a turd by the clean end.

Fiero

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NO.

THAT IS NOT CORRECT.

FUCK YOU.
Get a little closer let it fold
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Rodent of Unusual Size

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NO FUCK YOU 1000%
Political Correctness is a doctrine, fostered by a delusional, illogical, liberal minority and rabidly promoted by an unscrupulous mainstream media, which holds forth the proposition that it is entirely possible to pick up a turd by the clean end.

Rama

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Did you know they hated being compared to Benny Hill?
Considering the humor was quite different, I could certainly understand it.

They weren't as funny as Benny Hill, anyway.

LA LA LA LA LA LA I CAN'T HEAR YOU LA LA LA LA LA LA

Fiero

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Get a little closer let it fold
Cut open my sternum and pull
My little ribs around you

Derrick

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Monty Python? Wow.
I said its hot outside let me go swimming in your eyes;
We been running for awhile. Why don't you lay dow, I'll make you smile.
I could never ask for nothing better than this;
It's just tequila and the beach, it's quite salty when we kiss.

B E C K

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*indifferent shrug*

Rodent of Unusual Size

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Political Correctness is a doctrine, fostered by a delusional, illogical, liberal minority and rabidly promoted by an unscrupulous mainstream media, which holds forth the proposition that it is entirely possible to pick up a turd by the clean end.