Nekhbert

[The D]

First off, I have to say one thing... Fuck you Wimbledon! I'm tired of seeing nothing but tennis on TV nowadays! Fuck your gay ass sport.



Anyway, I didn't want to waste an entire topic for just that....


Yesterday I heard something crash down the chimney into my fireplace. I thought maybe it was just debris, but about 10 minutes later I heard animal noises, and got up and opened up the cover to see what was up.

I expected it to be a squirrel or a full grown bird or something, but I saw two fledgeling baby birds (fledgelings are birds that have feathers and have left the nest). One of them seemed injured and died after another 10 minutes. The other one was alive and kicking, so I put in in a box with what was left of it's nest that had fallen too.

I called up a bird rescue and found out the baby I had was a chimney swift which makes their nests in chimneys. The people said they didn't take care of the birds because they were too difficult to handle, and suggested I go up to the top of the chimney and let it cling to the inside of the chimney. One problem... my chimney is 40+ feet tall and is 10 feet above the steep roof.

I tried another option... I put it in a makeshift nest on a ledge inside the fireplace near the flue, but it seems like the parents haven't come back for it, which suprises me since what I've read about it the parents tend to make the nests deep in the chimney around the flue area. I hope they haven't abandoned the baby.


I'm considering trying to care for it since it's survived a day already and is clinging to life like Lance Armstrong with ball cancer, even though it's a protected species and you have to have a licence to legally care for it. The ladies over the phone told me to feed it liquified canned dog food with an eye dropper, and I was able to get it to eat a little, but a site online says it's better to feed it mealworms dipped in a vitamin paste.

I've also named it Nekhbert, since I was hunting rare game in Final Fantasy 12 when he fell, and one of the rare game is a Cockatrice named Nekhbet.

[The D]

I feel like the parents in Baby Borrowers as well. This picky thing is hard to take care of and makes quite a bit of noise at times. I wish the dang parents would just come back for it and take it off my hands.

But until they do, I can't let the wee bird die.

[Rodent of Unusual Size]

Is it big enough to fry?

[The D]

Oh come on :/


It wouldn't even make an appetizer, anyway.

The local bird rehab around here won't take it because they said it's too hard to take care of... you have to feed it every half hour and then, when it grows older, teach it how to eat insects. And they don't have specialists for that kind of bird.

I've tried just about everything I could to get it back to it's parents, but it seems to be abandoned. I'm surprised the bugger's survived as long as it has.

[IDE]

What kind of sorry ass bird rehab turns away a baby bird.  Everyone who works there is officially on the  list.

[The D]

Squirrel can have the bird if he digs him out of the ground, he may be still fresh.

I was trying to get him to crawl back up the chimney using a board covered in cloth he could grab onto, but he seemed weak, so I fed him every half hour for several hours before I tried again. This time I let him cling to the board for a little while before I stuck it up the flue. He didn't come down the rest of the night so I considered it over.

Until this morning when I found him dead lying on the blanket I put at the bottom of the fireplace.

And then I gave him a short funeral and eulogy and buried him in the back.


Alas poor Nekbert, I knew thee well, but for a short respite. But for the short time I knew thee, I found ye full of life, and vigor, and hope, and ye never stopped fighting until the bitter end. *chokes back tears and walks off  the podium*

Pastor: Ashes to ashes and dust to dust. Now you are surrounded by the love of the Lord and shall be at peace for all eternity. Amen.

*Taps plays on a bagpipe and there's a 21 firecracker salute*

[IDE]

That's it...now you're on the list too.

[The D]

I knew our fates would join eventually and we'd have to duel to the death.

[IDE]

a duel? pfft...When I meet you I will close my eyes and clap my hands together in meditation.  A giant phantom nekhbert will materialize behind me and fly through you causing all your flesh to turn to chimney ash.

[B E C K]

I'd pay to see that.

[IDE]

Well if people are going to pay then we should add some special effects like I'll open my eyes and they'll be as glowing high beams as neckbert charges forward with a "SKREEEEEEEEEEE!" before destroying doug.

[Faye Valentine]

Poor thing, but since I read the line when you said that his brother died but he survived, I knew he was doomed. Little birds like that, that have fallen from the nest, almost never survive past a couple of days. And once you touch it and your "human smell" is impregnated in their skin, their parents don't want them anymore. Sad but true.

[Rodent of Unusual Size]

once you touch it and your "human smell" is impregnated in their skin, their parents don't want them anymore. Sad but true.

Not just sad, but brutal...D impregnating anyone or anything to any degree.  Mom and Pop aren't the only ones who'd be put off.

[The D]

Poor thing, but since I read the line when you said that his brother died but he survived, I knew he was doomed. Little birds like that, that have fallen from the nest, almost never survive past a couple of days. And once you touch it and your "human smell" is impregnated in their skin, their parents don't want them anymore. Sad but true.

Wrong.

[Faye Valentine]

Well I know that happens with some mammals, ie rabbits. thats a fact.