That's so Paul Raven.

[B E C K]

Why didn't I think of this title weeks ago!?  A perfect opportunity has already passed but I refuse to let it go to waste.   

But dude, a heart attack in your sleep?  Suck ass.  Though on second thought, it's probably better to die in your sleep than get mauled to death by a hungry animal or hit by drunk driver and left to die in the street while he drives home and goes to bed.  (Which is what happened to some old man in a motorized wheelchair last night.  Boo.)  I guess as long as the heart attack manages to do you without waking you up.

Also taken by the grand spectre of death:  First our Sea World loses a whale, now the zoo loses an elephant.

[IDE]

What the fuck are you talking about? Heart attack in your sleep is better than getting hit by a drunk driver, but in no way does it compare to the awesome death that is being eaten by a shark or bear, plus if you happen to kill the animal and as you both lay dying you say something like "good fight smokey, see ya in hell" your death is just about as epic as it gets.

[MegatronYES]

I hav always said that impalation from a great height would be the best way to go.

[B E C K]

Dude, no way!  I don't wanna be no dumb animal's lunchable!   

Ew, impaled.  I dunno.  First there's how fast you'd go.  And then there's the whole being used in blooper reels aspect of it should someone catch it on film.

[IDE]

That's because you and pretty much any girl would be screaming and whining (because you have little chance of killing or even maiming the bear) and not embracing the glorious death in battle with nature herself.   

[Wickedly Yours E]

....I don't wanna get eaten either! I wouldn't say "Good Fight Smokey" Either. It'd be "FUCK YOU YOGI. ROT IN HELL *KERBLARGH I AM DEAD*"

[B E C K]

That's because you and pretty much any girl would be screaming and whining (because you have little chance of killing or even maiming the bear) and not embracing the glorious death in battle with nature herself.   

Screaming and whining?  I'd be killed in one bite!  There ain't no time to whine!  I don't want to be eaten!    Equip me with a mighty, razor-sharp spear and some mace and maybe it'd be more interesting.

[IDE]

That's fair.

I saw this guy in a lion's cage once on one of those animal attack specials.  The lion had bitten down on him and he was screaming but not fighting back.  He was laying there much like any other pray animal Ive seen lions take down.  He even let the lion reposition the bite onto his neck, and then he was pretty much fucked.  But before that happened to me you'd see me go buck fucking wild with my own roars of THIS IS SPARTA and a flurry of kicks to the lions gut and hopefully his balls.  If I connected I'd roll him and bite his ear off.  I never thought I'd be able to fight a lion until I saw this video.  I'm pretty sure the guy would have died if they hadn't shot it with a tranq gun.  Lemme find it...

here it is: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y50cYTxzRVk

Granted this is a caged "trained" lion, I don't like my chances against a wild killer but they kind of do the same thing with their pray.  They hold it and just bite down without a lot of crazy movement on the behalf of either party.  The wildebeast or what have you doesn't go for their eyes or sack like a human would know to do.  I'm sure the lion might bleed me to death before I ripped it's nutsack off with my bare hands, but when the natives found my body, severed testicles clenched in my fist, they'd have a deeper respect for the white man that's for sure.

[Rama]

How fast you'd die of impalement depends on where you got hit. If it missed stuff like your heart and lungs it could take hours or days to die. If it got you through a vital organ you'd be dead within minutes.

[MegatronYES]

That's fair.

I saw this guy in a lion's cage once on one of those animal attack specials.  The lion had bitten down on him and he was screaming but not fighting back.  He was laying there much like any other pray animal Ive seen lions take down.  He even let the lion reposition the bite onto his neck, and then he was pretty much fucked.  But before that happened to me you'd see me go buck fucking wild with my own roars of THIS IS SPARTA and a flurry of kicks to the lions gut and hopefully his balls.  If I connected I'd roll him and bite his ear off.  I never thought I'd be able to fight a lion until I saw this video.  I'm pretty sure the guy would have died if they hadn't shot it with a tranq gun.  Lemme find it...

here it is: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y50cYTxzRVk

Granted this is a caged "trained" lion, I don't like my chances against a wild killer but they kind of do the same thing with their pray.  They hold it and just bite down without a lot of crazy movement on the behalf of either party.  The wildebeast or what have you doesn't go for their eyes or sack like a human would know to do.  I'm sure the lion might bleed me to death before I ripped it's nutsack off with my bare hands, but when the natives found my body, severed testicles clenched in my fist, they'd have a deeper respect for the white man that's for sure.

"prey"

[B E C K]

No, "pray".  That's a devout Christian antelope that gets down on its knees and speaks to its maker before the lion kills it.

[B E C K]

Boo, that YouTube vid wants me to log in.  How dare they not let guests be scarred by such things.

[MegatronYES]

It's actually a very interesting video. That's definitely the only time that I've seena dangerous animal handled in a way that I would think was inept.