Start with chest day like every noob.
Go to the hammer strength machines (pictured below) that are for regular* (bench) press. Warm up with a set of 16 or so with I don't know...2 10 lbs weights on each side (I'm guessing because I don't know what you look like). Then add more weight and do 10 reps. Then add more weight and 8 reps. Then add more weight and do 6 reps. Then go to the free weights and get a pair of dumb bells, lay on your back on a flat bench and hold your arms out in front of you in the shape of the mandibles/horns of the pokeymanz pictured below with your fists holding the dumbells together as if the pokeymanz had caught something (these are called dumbell flies). Then still holding your arms curved like the mandibles extend them out to either side as if you were letting that something go. You want to keep your arms curved like mandibles when you extend and not straight out like jesus does or you will be crucified there when your shoulders pop out of the sockets (well not with the pussy weight your starting with but you get the picture). You don't have to go down super far just until you feel a stretch in your chest muscles. Do the warm up, 10, 8, 6 rep routine with these.
Then go back to the inclined angle hammer stregnth machine and do the warm, up, 10, 8, 6 there.
Then go to the peck deck (pictured below) and do the routine there.
Then go drink a protein shake and drift off to sleep to dream about all the bergina that will one day be yours because most chicks are dumb and will nail anyone with a jacked up physique.
*regular as in straight out, not inclined angle or declined angle
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