Emperor Popeatine Dumbfuck XVI strikes again!

[The D]

When will the Catholic Church ever stop failing at life? Obviously, the assassin that tried to kill John Paul II aimed at the wrong pope. He should have waited 25 years.

LORENZAGO DI CADORE, Italy (AP) — Pope Benedict XVI reasserted the primacy of the Roman Catholic Church, approving a document released Tuesday that says other Christian communities are either defective or not true churches and Catholicism provides the only true path to salvation.

[ChelseySuzie]

You know, the Catholic church told Africans that condoms don't protect against AIDS.  Catholicism is ridiculous and the majority of my town follows it.

[Extra Zero]

Hahaha, you really believe any church would tell their followers that any other path may be the right one?  They all refer to their followers as "sheep" for a reason...

I have not felt better since I chose to drop religion entirely and not pay any attention to these dumb fucks.

[Rodent of Unusual Size]

Catholicism has been saying this for 1500 years...it's nothing new.  However, I'd have even less respect for that church than I already do if they DIDN'T hold themselves to be right at the expense of others.  Otherwise, why bother having a church at all if everything else is just as good?  It's impossible for everyone to be right.

BTW, John Paul believed and proclaimed the same bull Benedict now does.  He's no different than any other pope, although to his credit he did actually fight against the Nazis instead of rolling over for Hitler like Pius XII did.

[Rama]

What did you want him to say:

"Dear Catholics of the world. I think we may be on the path to Heaven, but those Jews might have something there. I don't really know. You know that unfoulable stuff? Complete and utter bullshit. I don't know any better then the rest of you do."

It would be refreshing, yes. But it wouldn't help build up the great Catholic army. Which is why you can't use a condom. More fighters for the cause.

[Bernie AKA]

I agree with Will Rogers:  "If there are no dogs in Heaven, then when I die I want to go where they went." 

[B E C K]

ROAMN CATHOLICK NUMBA ONE!!!wvslkvbnl. rawr!!!!!111

Hahaha, you really believe any church would tell their followers that any other path may be the right one?  They all refer to their followers as "sheep" for a reason...

Ha ha, no shit.

Who cares what that old guy says.  I'm certain God or Anubis or someone will deal with him.

[Rodent of Unusual Size]

Zero mentions the sheep thing as if he's not included 

They all refer to their followers as "sheep" for a reason...

This is something I've been intending to clarify the last few times I've seen it used online.  If one follows the various metaphors used by Christ, an argument can be made that everyone is referred to as being like sheep, some being lost and others not.   Another argument uses a similar metaphor that would designate the unsaved as goats. 

So the choice between descriptors must be made according to one's preference.  What it means is that those cute little attempts to wrap the "HAW HAW THEY CALL YOU SHEEP" thing around people's heads only serves to bite one in the ass either by illustrating their ignorance and/or indirectly implicating themselves.

[B E C K]

OR... that we're fat and covered with wool and Ralph Wolf keeps trying to eats us!

[Bernie AKA]

Sheep have always been loved and cherished in Scotland! 

[Faye Valentine]

So who cares what the Pope says. If you are not from that religion, or even if you are but you don't believe what he says, then don't even listen. In my opinion, the only "religions" in which that works (that meaning that they aren't real religions) would be like the lutherans and shit like that that were only created to piss off the catholics. Oh, scientology and cults count on that one too.

[Bernie AKA]

Wow, I'm a member of a cult??   The lutefisk made me do it!!

Martin Luther didn't just decide Catholics were poopyheads and go start a new religion.  His big issue was the practice of exchanging guarantees of salvation and absolution for the right price, known as indulgences and immortalized by contemporary ditties like "as soon as the coin in the coffer rings, the soul from purgatory springs", when everyone's copy of the Bible clearly said that such came through faith.  Good thing, too - as Mark Twain pointed out, if entrance to Heaven was based on merit instead of faith, there would be very few people there and a whole lot of dogs.

[Faye Valentine]

I just cut my finger....God punished me

[Bernie AKA]

If it was a paper cut, that's the trees getting even. 

[Rama]

Like fire and brimstone, typing paper is a tool of vengence of the divine.

[B E C K]

I don't see why God should punish through paper when he has perfectly good lightning at his disposal.

[Wickedly Yours E]

Lightning is so 1800's.

[B E C K]

It's vintage!  Vintage is in!

[Rama]

He wants to be more subtle with his vengence these days.

[B E C K]

Lightning can be subtle!

[Bernie AKA]

But not energy-efficient.  I hear God is going to develop compact florescent lightning to smite us with.

[B E C K]

He should find a way to shock us with those new curly halogen bulbs.  Those things make me want fries everytime I see them.

[Extra Zero]

That's an...odd association to say the least.

[ChelseySuzie]

Now He gets his revenge by making some people look freakish.

[B E C K]

That's an...odd association to say the least.

They remind me of curly fries which makes me want fries.

Now He gets his revenge by making some people look freakish.

I thought that was him having a sense of humor.

[Rama]

That's an...odd association to say the least.

They remind me of curly fries which makes me want fries.

I got it. But then again I love curly fries.

[B E C K]

I want fries.

[Bernie AKA]

There's a small restaurant chain here called Barnaby's that makes very thin shoestring fries.  I think I deserve a break tonight. 

[Faye Valentine]

I don't know where the cut came from! Maybe some kind of stigmata? lol too much punish!

[Rodent of Unusual Size]

I got a cardboard box cut two weeks ago.  How, I don't know, but it was worse than any simple paper cut I've ever had.