Author Topic: Brokeback Mountain (Read 9389 times)

B E C K · « **on:** May 07, 2007, 11:11:36 PM »

...than never.

It sucked. Not the movie itself (though I do deduct because those accents grated my nerves), but the whole thing about the gay dudes not being able to be together. (I already knew one of them died, but still....) It amazes me that people care so much about this issue. They aren't violating YOUR ass. Jeez. Notes:

-- Was "Ennis" chosen cause it rhymes with "penis"?
-- Why did he not use the fishing gear? It would've been an easy task to dip it in the water and say he caught nothing.
-- If this is a gay movie, how come so many titties were shown?
-- How did Russell Case survive crashing his plane into that alien ship?
-- If Jake Gyllenhaal replaces Toby Maguire as the next Spider-Man, does Spider-Man become a gay icon by default? If so, will he wear an ascot?

Rodent of Unusual Size · « **Reply #1 on:** May 08, 2007, 12:13:45 AM »

"Ennis", like the guy from Dukes of Hazzard? His last name was "Strait", though.

I still haven't seen this movie, and I have no plans to. It's the realization of the South Park mention of a movie about gay cowboys sitting around a campfire eating taprioca pudding.

B E C K · « **Reply #2 on:** May 08, 2007, 12:21:54 AM »

You aren't missing anything. Don't get me wrong, it's well made, but who wants to spend two hours dealing with such depression? As it was I fast-forwarded through a lot of parts and only had a copy to begin with because Merla Netflixed it for Schmoo.

Rama · « **Reply #3 on:** May 08, 2007, 12:55:32 AM »

What bugs me the most about this movie is that it gave the impression that Ang Lee could direct.

B E C K · « **Reply #4 on:** May 08, 2007, 01:04:17 AM »

It certainly does as you watch it. I kept expecting the Hulk to pop out and have a threesome with teh cowboys.

Rama · « **Reply #5 on:** May 08, 2007, 01:14:39 AM »

Hmmmm....I might watch that.

HULK ALWAYS PITCHER! YOU HULK'S BITCH PUNY HUMAN!!

Then Sam Elliot can come in and nuke the tent. Yeah....awesome.

B E C K · « **Reply #6 on:** May 08, 2007, 01:16:37 AM »

EWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!

The Hulk can't be the Pitcher! FTW!

Rama · « **Reply #7 on:** May 08, 2007, 01:26:22 AM »

He could..but I don't think anyone could survive it. I just don't see Hulk as the catcher...he's too Alpha Dog for that.

Derrick · « **Reply #8 on:** May 08, 2007, 10:21:59 AM »

Big green cock? This is like Ass Invaders 7 all over again.

Bernie AKA · « **Reply #9 on:** May 08, 2007, 12:21:01 PM »

What annoyed me was all the fawning over the leads for their "convincing portrayal of gay men". Funny, I don't remember the presses stopping for any of John Lone's convincing portrayals of straight men. <_<

B E C K · « **Reply #10 on:** May 08, 2007, 01:02:02 PM »

It's not a portrayal, he's just finally being normal.

The Hulk could totally catch. Dudes that are all gung-ho like that seriously want it up the cr0n chute.

Wickedly Yours E · « **Reply #11 on:** May 08, 2007, 11:01:39 PM »

John Wayne's rolling over in his grave.

Rodent of Unusual Size · « **Reply #12 on:** May 08, 2007, 11:14:11 PM »

There's only one problem with the Hulk plan....

B E C K · « **Reply #13 on:** May 08, 2007, 11:16:42 PM »

Not after a few kegs of beer and some pot. Then he'll be just gay enough.

IDE · « **Reply #14 on:** May 08, 2007, 11:17:13 PM »

I'm all gung ho and I don't want to be cr0n holed.

B E C K · « **Reply #15 on:** May 08, 2007, 11:26:46 PM »

Not even with a lubed finger?

IDE · « **Reply #16 on:** May 08, 2007, 11:28:18 PM »

Nope.

I had an ex that was all about trying to do that to me. It was most annoying.

B E C K · « **Reply #17 on:** May 08, 2007, 11:36:51 PM »

Did she get you in your sleep?

IDE · « **Reply #18 on:** May 09, 2007, 02:35:30 AM »

If I ever tried to sleep in when she wanted to go somewhere I knew that kancho combat was going to ensue.

Plus she had long finger nails. This game was for keeps my friends. You protected your pooper no matter what the cost.

Bernie AKA · « **Reply #19 on:** May 09, 2007, 02:14:37 PM »

You could have gotten some champagne corks from the bar and slept assured.

B E C K · « **Reply #20 on:** May 09, 2007, 07:20:50 PM »

Sounds like a plan. But then you gotta get 'em out with a cork screw.

IDE · « **Reply #21 on:** May 09, 2007, 09:17:17 PM »

I don't need a cork. I have something akin to spider sense that goes off whenever someone tries to penetrate me.

I was in the emergency room once after literally drinking myself into a comatose like state. (My friends couldn't wake me up via slapping me around or throwing water on me so they took me to the hospital.)

Suddenly I awoke through the haze (INSTANTLY!) to find 3 female nursed standing over me. One had both hands around my dick and the other was inserting a tube into a hole that was never meant to be breached.

I quickly swiped the tube away before it could go in any further.

They had a little laugh at this and I was sent on my merry way.

B E C K · « **Reply #22 on:** May 10, 2007, 10:22:43 AM »

You fool.

Bernie AKA · « **Reply #23 on:** May 10, 2007, 10:29:29 AM »

Add "Afterwards, I wondered if it had all been a dream" and you'll have a fine Penthouse letter.

IDE · « **Reply #24 on:** May 10, 2007, 10:02:44 PM »

I wish it had all been a dream. However the bill for going to the emergency room was all too real :/

B E C K · « **Reply #25 on:** May 10, 2007, 10:41:20 PM »

Hopefully, this will teach your friends to play with your asshole next time you get that drunk and save you some moneys.

Rama · « **Reply #26 on:** May 10, 2007, 11:40:31 PM »

You should have waited and saw how they inflated the ballon on the inside.

IDE · « **Reply #27 on:** May 11, 2007, 05:43:23 AM »

OM wasted amn jave mptjomg tp add

O pm;u hopr yts

SHIT

PEI CAMNT TY

jeeeeeeeeez

I cannot type for shit ruhgt now

there are eggs cooking

hopefully i dont burn the houise down

Bernie AKA · « **Reply #28 on:** May 11, 2007, 08:00:57 AM »

I can't type for shit right now.
There are eggs cooking -
hope I don't burn the house down.

Now you have a nice haiku.

B E C K · « **Reply #29 on:** May 11, 2007, 10:58:14 AM »

*beats bongos*