Author Topic: Another joke I won't tell Eddie's mom (Read 8874 times)

Bernie AKA · « **on:** Apr 25, 2007, 10:32:54 AM »

Two nuns are riding their bicycles down the back streets of Rome.

One leans over to the other and says, "I've never come this way before."

The other nun whispers, "It's the cobblestones."

B E C K · « **Reply #1 on:** Apr 25, 2007, 12:08:37 PM »

*rimshot*

Derrick · « **Reply #2 on:** Apr 25, 2007, 12:43:28 PM »

When do they sodomize each other?

B E C K · « **Reply #3 on:** Apr 25, 2007, 05:37:45 PM »

After they're done with you. Two penguins going at Dr. Jackson: This is just like that special Stargate edition of Happy Feet.

Derrick · « **Reply #4 on:** Apr 25, 2007, 05:49:10 PM »

WHOO!!!

Faye Valentine · « **Reply #5 on:** Apr 25, 2007, 07:43:08 PM »

:goes to the confession room:

Derrick · « **Reply #6 on:** Apr 25, 2007, 09:01:05 PM »

To wait for the priest?

Rodent of Unusual Size · « **Reply #7 on:** Apr 26, 2007, 12:33:02 AM »

There's another sliding door closer to the bottom big enough for a head to go through.

Faye Valentine · « **Reply #8 on:** Apr 26, 2007, 05:54:42 AM »

how do you know. huh??? do you have something you want to tell us?

B E C K · « **Reply #9 on:** Apr 26, 2007, 12:40:44 PM »

He is a devout member of the Christian faith. It's their job to know these sorts of things.

Rodent of Unusual Size · « **Reply #10 on:** Apr 27, 2007, 02:13:14 AM »

If you have to go through a middleman so he can take up your case with God, chances are that he doesn't always do it out of the goodness of his heart...especially when these particular brand of middlemen are historically renowned for licentiousness in spite of their professed ethics.

Rama · « **Reply #11 on:** Apr 27, 2007, 02:44:21 AM »

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He is a devout member of the Christian faith. It's their job to know these sorts of things.

I'm of that faith and I have no idea what is up with Catholics. Only time I've seen the inside of a confessional booth is in the movies. Most noteably in Detriot Rock City where a guy loses his virginity in one.

Faye Valentine · « **Reply #12 on:** Apr 27, 2007, 05:53:57 AM »

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If you have to go through a middleman so he can take up your case with God, chances are that he doesn't always do it out of the goodness of his heart...especially when these particular brand of middlemen are historically renowned for licentiousness in spite of their professed ethics.

He's not like a "middleman". He's more like an underwriter.

Derrick · « **Reply #13 on:** Apr 27, 2007, 10:43:03 AM »

A human guide, not to replace the personal voyage of spiritual enlightenment but rather accompany and provide wisdom and service.

Just as long as he doesn't molest the children, but then ministers are guilty of that too, it just doesn't get on the news as much.

Rodent of Unusual Size · « **Reply #14 on:** Apr 27, 2007, 11:18:14 PM »

Lots of people in lots of different vocations molest children.

Most do not have huge, powerful, established hierarchies to cover it up.

B E C K · « **Reply #15 on:** Apr 28, 2007, 12:03:14 AM »

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He is a devout member of the Christian faith. It's their job to know these sorts of things.
I'm of that faith and I have no idea what is up with Catholics.

Are you Catholic?

Rama · « **Reply #16 on:** Apr 28, 2007, 02:38:19 AM »

No, and I'm pretty sure neither is DS. I am Christan though. Despite what the Vactican would like, Christian doesn't equal Catholic.

Rodent of Unusual Size · « **Reply #17 on:** Apr 28, 2007, 08:27:48 AM »

I'm certainly not Catholic. And I never could be, given that it's already condemned me to hell.

I thought about not being a jerk about it, but at some point a few years ago I gave up waiting for the infallible pope to proclaim the anathemas pronounced against me by the infallible church four hundred years ago null and void. Pre-emptive eternal damnation just sort of destroys any sense of civility I might have extended towards it.

Faye Valentine · « **Reply #18 on:** Apr 28, 2007, 10:53:00 AM »

Catholicism owns you all bitches! ohohohoooo

Rama · « **Reply #19 on:** Apr 28, 2007, 01:22:51 PM »

That unfoulable thing rubs me the wrong way too. No man is unfoulable.

Oh and this:

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Despite what the Vactican would like, Christian doesn't equal Catholic.

Wasn't directed at you Nuri. That was just me airing my chip on the shoulder about religon. When I rereead it I realized it looked like I was saying you actually thought that, and since you've told me on many times that your dad was Luthern I know that's not the case. Just wanted to clear that up before you started bitching in my ear. lol

IDE · « **Reply #20 on:** Apr 28, 2007, 04:35:23 PM »

You guys are gonna be sorry come ragnarok.

B E C K · « **Reply #21 on:** Apr 28, 2007, 05:03:46 PM »

My dad is Lutheran because he converted later on years ago because every few years his conscience bites him in the ass and he becomes all devout to teh lard. I have no idea if he still is or not because I don't think his gf is Lutheran and they mentioned looking for a church to go to.

Merla and I were raised Roman Catholic, were baptized as such and went to CCD for many years until Merla was in the 8th grade. My dad says because it got obscenely expensive, but Merla says it was because he was a cheapskate deadbeat and wouldn't hand over child support so we could afford to go. But I'm birdwalking: I knew you weren't Catholic (and DS, too). I only asked the Catholic question because once you said "no", I was gonna tell you to STFU. Tee hee.

Derrick · « **Reply #22 on:** Apr 28, 2007, 05:41:11 PM »

*is Catholic, but tends to go with John Paul II's teachings above all others*

He's like my Dhali Llama, Ratzinger is just a poser.

B E C K · « **Reply #23 on:** Apr 28, 2007, 06:00:05 PM »

My brain always checked out at church. I went to CCD all those years but only today learned it stood for Confraternity of Catholic Doctrine.

The other day I was watching a religious cartoon (since that's one of our clear channels) and it was about Samson and Delilah. At the end, Samson goes batshit with the Philistines all screaming their asses off and it then zooms out to some cheerful looking boy who was all "And Samson killed many Philistines that day". And then the credits rolled.

Derrick · « **Reply #24 on:** Apr 28, 2007, 08:30:37 PM »

The bible is a fucked up book.

Rodent of Unusual Size · « **Reply #25 on:** Apr 28, 2007, 09:18:42 PM »

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[John Paul II]'s like my Dhali Llama, Ratzinger is just a poser.

They're all poseurs. There's room in Christianity for only one infallible Person, and the pope ain't Him.

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The other day I was watching a religious cartoon (since that's one of our clear channels) and it was about Samson and Delilah. At the end, Samson goes batshit with the Philistines all screaming their asses off and it then zooms out to some cheerful looking boy who was all "And Samson killed many Philistines that day". And then the credits rolled

That kills me...taking a tale about a guy who's certainly not role model material and making a children's show on him just because he was super-strong? It totally dismisses his drunkeness and shacking up with a pagan slut and living among his enemies.

Still better than Spongebob, I guess.

Derrick · « **Reply #26 on:** Apr 28, 2007, 11:16:47 PM »

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[John Paul II]'s like my Dhali Llama, Ratzinger is just a poser.
They're all poseurs. There's room in Christianity for only one infallible Person, and the pope ain't Him.

Quote
The other day I was watching a religious cartoon (since that's one of our clear channels) and it was about Samson and Delilah. At the end, Samson goes batshit with the Philistines all screaming their asses off and it then zooms out to some cheerful looking boy who was all "And Samson killed many Philistines that day". And then the credits rolled
That kills me...taking a tale about a guy who's certainly not role model material and making a children's show on him just because he was super-strong? It totally dismisses his drunkeness and shacking up with a pagan slut and living among his enemies.

Still better than Spongebob, I guess.

Who say's that he is that, aside from him. I see him as a spirtual figure, a brother to the Dhali Lama. It explains why the two of them got along so well. ^_^

B E C K · « **Reply #27 on:** Apr 29, 2007, 12:07:06 AM »

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Quote
The other day I was watching a religious cartoon (since that's one of our clear channels) and it was about Samson and Delilah. At the end, Samson goes batshit with the Philistines all screaming their asses off and it then zooms out to some cheerful looking boy who was all "And Samson killed many Philistines that day". And then the credits rolled
That kills me...taking a tale about a guy who's certainly not role model material and making a children's show on him just because he was super-strong? It totally dismisses his drunkeness and shacking up with a pagan slut and living among his enemies.

Still better than Spongebob, I guess.

Well he still had his eyes at the end, though it's clearly implied he dies with the Philistines. The show wasn't all about him, it features a different biblical story each episode-- all likely done in the same cheerful, morbid vein. It was far funnier than Spongebob could ever be.

Rodent of Unusual Size · « **Reply #28 on:** Apr 29, 2007, 07:16:57 AM »

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Who say's that he is that, aside from him. I see him as a spirtual figure, a brother to the Dhali Lama. It explains why the two of them got along so well. ^_^

If he's a spiritual figure, how do you see him at all? Of course, he's certainly a spiritual figure NOW....

JPII and the dhali lama were buddies because they're pretty much claiming to be the same person, just from different religious backgrounds. Ecumenism is a big deal these days and is a big reason I have no use for either.

Derrick · « **Reply #29 on:** Apr 29, 2007, 12:28:43 PM »

That and they were/are funny. Especially DL.