Hrum, the first story also reminds me of this other... old.. English story or something about 2 lovers... same thing happens.. one dies without knowing the other is really alive, the other dies too...
For the second story:
"Don't steal any beer while I'm gone, alright?"
"What kind of person do you take me for, Moe? *gasp* Somebody spilled beer in this ashtray! *slurrrp*"
*later*
"*drinking straight from the tap* Uh oh, my heart just stopped. .......................... Ah there it goes."