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Topics - Bernie AKA

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31
Tropical Paradise of Hard Shelled Fruits / Damn, what a weird dream....
« on: May 04, 2007, 12:32:47 PM »
Robert the Doll was running around our house with an odd little goose-step gait (his straw-filled legs don't bend well). I have no idea where the dogs & Eddie were, but I kept following him saying "Robert....Robert, honey, come here...." I finally caught up to him, sat him in my lap and explained that he'd have to go back home to Florida - he just kept turning away, then looking back at me, and I could hear the straw in his body creaking. I gave him some peppermint sticks and he took them and slowly walked out the door onto the deck, looked back and waved.

I was totally calm in the dream, but had to turn on the lights when I woke up.   :blink:

On a related note, we stayed at the Tremont House in Galveston over the weekend for Eddie's birthday, but didn't see the gangster ghost, even though we stayed on the 4th floor where he's always sighted.  I have seen The Face at UTMB before - very odd.    

32
Tropical Paradise of Hard Shelled Fruits / Another joke I won't tell Eddie's mom
« on: Apr 25, 2007, 10:32:54 AM »
Two nuns are riding their bicycles down the back streets of Rome.

One leans over to the other and says, "I've never come this way before."

The other nun whispers, "It's the cobblestones."
 

33
Tropical Paradise of Hard Shelled Fruits / Question for Nuri or Merla
« on: Apr 20, 2007, 12:33:40 PM »
Do you get the Time-Warner commercials with the astronaut?  If so, I want the girl in the yoga one for my birthday. :wub:

34
Tropical Paradise of Hard Shelled Fruits / I wish my cousin would warn me
« on: Apr 20, 2007, 12:31:41 PM »
I was eating lunch and damn near needed a Heimlich!  :lol:

Ah, memories!

At least they're still working, according to IMDB.  I'd hire them - if they could keep a straight face doing this show, they can act.

35
Tropical Paradise of Hard Shelled Fruits / So seen the HP7 cover art?
« on: Apr 04, 2007, 12:57:24 PM »

This is it!  No more ever!

For once, I like the US version better.  The kid's UK version looks like a Mad magazine cover.

36
Tropical Paradise of Hard Shelled Fruits / Hey, where's joe's birthday thread?
« on: Apr 03, 2007, 07:59:13 PM »
Nothin' between February 19th & 24th. That means no one noticed Alan Rickman's BD either.  :huh:

The tragedy - if only I hadn't been away....

37
Tropical Paradise of Hard Shelled Fruits / Gurgles to the surface....
« on: Jan 14, 2007, 07:44:15 PM »
Absolutely the last  holiday season I bartend.  People are major tightwads here, and I fucked up my back to boot.  However, our new HDTV is beyond sweet and bought with cash, which is why I put the old tip tops back on in the first place.  :)

Other than getting attacked by a psychotic terrier while walking one of our dogs in the middle of the street and Eddie's beloved Jeep getting smashed by a dickhead with no insurance, just waiting for the Arctic storm everyone is wetting themselves about.  With any luck, most of the city will shut down on Tuesday since very few people here have any idea of how to drive on ice.

The fun part of the wreck is our rental car.  We're in a black PT Cruiser until at least next week.  Dark, rainy streets, winter trench coat on - very film noir.  :P

Now excuse me while I catch up on the past two months of posts....

38
Tropical Paradise of Hard Shelled Fruits / In honor of today....
« on: Sep 19, 2006, 12:28:21 PM »
We know what today is, right?!

So a pirate walks into the bar with a ships wheel attached to the front o' his trousers. The bartender asks, "What the hell is that ship's wheel for?" The pirate says, "I don't know, but it's drivin' me nuts!"
 

39
Tropical Paradise of Hard Shelled Fruits / Well, well!
« on: Aug 17, 2006, 10:22:56 AM »
Quote
Is it true that blondes have more fun? Well, that depends on what your idea of fun is.

Redheads have more sex than women of any other hair color, according to new research in Germany.  Hamburg sex researcher, Professor Dr. Werner Habermehl, said his new study documented the sex lives of hundreds of German women and compared them by hair color, according to the Daily Mail.

Habermehl said that the sex lives of redheaded women were not only more active than women with other colors of hair, but that red heads have more partners and sex more frequently than the average person.

"The research shows that the fiery redhead certainly lives up to her reputation," Habermehl told the Daily Mail.

He also told the paper that women who dyed their hair red from another color were signaling they were looking for a partner.

"Even women in a fixed relationship are letting their partners know they are unhappy if they dye their hair red. They are saying that they are looking for something better," Habermehl said to the Daily Mail.

Psychologist Christine Baumanns doesn't blame the redheaded women for having better sex lives. She thinks it just may be the way they are perceived.  "Red stands for passion and when a man sees a redhead, he will think he is dealing with a woman who won't mess around, and gets straight to the point when it comes to sex," she said.

And Eddie thinks he's lucky because I don't like diamonds.  Silly boy.  :lol:  

40
Tropical Paradise of Hard Shelled Fruits / Strangely Satisfying....
« on: Aug 11, 2006, 02:41:47 PM »
http://www.danpat.fi/janne/flash/kuplamuovi.swf
 

41
Tropical Paradise of Hard Shelled Fruits / Never thought I'd see one of these
« on: Jul 28, 2006, 03:30:49 PM »
Spyker C8

A client just bought one - $297K, no lein.  He only carries liability on his cars.  Faye, if he was single, I'd introduce you.   :P  

42
Tropical Paradise of Hard Shelled Fruits / If you see me on CNN in front of a bulldozer....
« on: Jul 28, 2006, 12:41:23 PM »
....this is why:

Quote
After more than 60 years, the oldest theater in Houston is still going strong. However there is speculation that the landlord, Weingarten Realty Investors may be tearing that, and more, down to make the way for condos, a multi-level garage and a big Barnes and Noble bookstore.

If the developers don't stop, it could make national news since the theater is located in the second oldest operating shopping/entertainment center in the US - gorgeous Art Deco construction for 3 blocks.  But this is typical Houston.  Nuri & Merla, have you been to the Majestic in SA?  Its twin was here, built 5 years earlier in 1923 by the same architect.  Torn down, of course. :angry:  Considering I was completed in 1961, I try not to stand still too long in public.  There might be a wrecking ball aimed at my head and a realtor running up to stick a lease sign in my twitching corpse.

The petition has 15,000 signatures since Saturday.   If the cameras show up at any protests, I'll write "HI NURI!" on the back of my sign & wave it.  :P
 

43
Tropical Paradise of Hard Shelled Fruits / Cue the Twilight Zone music...
« on: Jul 05, 2006, 04:34:06 PM »
Early this morning, I dreamed that a friend's father had died.  I was reading the obit with picture in the paper, whole works, dreamed I called my friend.... woke up shortly thereafter and it was around 3:30 AM.  Went back to sleep.  -_-

My friend's father is hale & hearty, but Ken Lay dropped dead early this morning.

The bizarre part?  My friend's dad looks almost exactly like Ken Lay!  :o

Da-dee-da-da-da-dee-da-da.....

44
Tropical Paradise of Hard Shelled Fruits / 4th of July plans??
« on: Jun 27, 2006, 01:08:41 PM »
Pool party at a friend's house Saturday and our work is closed Monday as well as Tuesday.  :)

How's your humidity in SA, Nuri & Merla?  It's about 54% here and 62 degrees last night.  :blink:  In late June. The Apocalypse is around the corner for sure.

45
Tropical Paradise of Hard Shelled Fruits / Don't like how "Lost" is going?
« on: Jun 02, 2006, 08:11:49 AM »
Do your own episodes!

THE birthday present for Nuri this year! :D  

46
Tropical Paradise of Hard Shelled Fruits / Now HERE'S fun comic news!
« on: Jun 01, 2006, 03:17:05 PM »
Holy Batdykes!

47
Tropical Paradise of Hard Shelled Fruits / A little somethin' for Rama
« on: May 11, 2006, 12:39:15 PM »
Battlestar Galactisimpsons

48
Tropical Paradise of Hard Shelled Fruits / Why didn't somebody warn me about this?!
« on: Apr 26, 2006, 04:22:56 PM »
Quote
"My Name Is Earl" star Jason Lee is lending his voice to the title character of "Underdog," a live-action Disney adaptation of the classic 1960s cartoon.

"Underdog" followed the adventures of a humble dog named Shoeshine Boy who became the superheroic Underdog, who spoke in rhyme. In the movie, he is adopted by a 12-year-old boy and uses his superpower to protect his love, Polly Purebred, and the citizens of Capitol City from the evil Simon Barsinister. Peter Dinklage has been cast as Barsinister.

 

49
Tropical Paradise of Hard Shelled Fruits / H-Town's gonna get interesting....
« on: Jan 27, 2006, 12:32:37 PM »
Houston has a big problem with urban sprawl coupled with no zoning restrictions.  As a result, various outlying areas of town become the Next Big Development - businesses rush in, apartment complexes spring up overnight, strip malls abound.  Then it gets too crowded and the leader businesses move, followed by the workers, apartments go vacant for months and are extremely cheap, and the area goes to hell.  Such is the situation in Fondren Southwest, where the majority of the asshole NOLA evacuees have congregated and declared their intention to "take over Houston"

Problem is, M13 (El Salvador gang) has presided over that area for quite a while and now there's a huge turf war brewing.  I was looking on the nola.com forums and everyone there is all "Go M13!!  Kill the fuckers so they don't move back!"    :P  

50
Tropical Paradise of Hard Shelled Fruits / Hey, I can page the whole company from my phone!
« on: Jan 17, 2006, 04:04:43 PM »
I found this out a little while ago when I said, "Shit!  Why does my display say 'paging?' "   :P  

51
Tropical Paradise of Hard Shelled Fruits / January = Air Conditioners
« on: Jan 03, 2006, 02:19:32 PM »
Anybody want to exchange about 30 degrees or so?  Currently, it's 82.  We went shopping in shorts yesterday.   This is just so wrong.  :(  

52
Tropical Paradise of Hard Shelled Fruits / One of Nuri's Worst Nightmares
« on: Dec 29, 2005, 02:23:33 PM »
Retail or food service - which has the worst potential situations?  Shopping horror story from an acquaintance at another board:

Quote
I'm usually pretty good about dealing with kids in public, but tonight, I was rendered speechless by the actions of one toadler.

I ran out to TJ Maxx for some last-minute gifts and as expected, the store was packed. I'm making my way to the housewears area when I am stopped cold in my tracks at the most disgusting sight.

A toadler, roughly 3-4 yo, is standing in the middle of the main aisle with her pants and underwear around her ankles. There is no parent in site. Suddenly, she reaches down to her undies and picks A PIECE OF SHIT out of them. She had just shat her pants and now was PLAYING WITH IT!

I just stood there, not wanted to get any closer to her for fear she decide that said piece of shit now was a piece of chalk. I looked around and still could find no parent. So I made a b-line in the other direction so there'd be no risk of being contaminated by excrement. The only funny part about the whole thing was as I was stopped in my tracks, she looked up directly at me, held up her fingers with the poo and smiled as if to say, "Lookie what I've got!"

I think I'd rather hear morons try to say "three free shrimp".  :P

 

53
Tropical Paradise of Hard Shelled Fruits / This doesn't sound quite right
« on: Dec 15, 2005, 12:22:16 PM »
I know they're talking about the hollow Kong dog toy.  Still....  :blink:

   Kong Stuff'N

Stuff'N Liver Paste is liver flavored mousse-for-dogs in a can. Just spray inside your dog's Kong like whipped cream and he'll go wild trying to lick it out.
 

54
Tropical Paradise of Hard Shelled Fruits / News item of the week!
« on: Nov 18, 2005, 02:06:05 PM »
This judge should run for President!

Quote
"But it's inhumane for the judge to send me out in the cold with nothing but the clothes on my back," she said.

BWAHAHA!!  Fuck you with a splintery flagpole, you worthless pus-oozing cunt!! :lol:  

55
Tropical Paradise of Hard Shelled Fruits / Kids NEED these toys!
« on: Nov 18, 2005, 10:30:45 AM »
2005's Most "Dangerous" Toys

When anyone with a kid starts hinting for presents, we usually get something that makes obnoxious loud noise or has the potential to ruin furniture & carpet, but some of these look like fun.  :P

When the hell did kids becoms such wussies?  :rolleyes:  It was a badge of honor to take freshly-made Creepy Crawlers out of the BURNING HOT METAL MOLD without using the tweezers when I was in grade school. I was the only girl who would do it.  

56
Tropical Paradise of Hard Shelled Fruits / motherFUCK, this is getting frustrating!!!
« on: Oct 26, 2005, 12:44:00 PM »
I have:

$2500 sitting in the bank for a down payment

a pre-approved loan from my credit union

the car I want picked out online with the spec sheet and stock number sitting on my desk

Carmax gets the same commission regardless of which car they sell - the price is not an issue.

So who the HELL do I have to sleep with for a Carmax sales rep to have time to talk to me??!!!  I sent an e-mail yesterday, left a message this morning and finally spoke to a human who said he would call me back in a few minutes. That was 3 hours ago.

If I didn't want this particular car so bad, I'd blow them off, but it's a green Toyota Echo, stick, low miles AND located in Maryland so the chances of it being a Katrina casualty are next to none.  There are no 2005 Echos left in a 5-state area since they're being totally redesigned in 2006, so I have to go used.

Anyone else ever deal with Carmax?

57
Tropical Paradise of Hard Shelled Fruits / Eddie's in Faye Land this weekend!
« on: Oct 14, 2005, 07:32:03 AM »
But other than the Pens/Flyers game tonight, fun is not on the itenerary.   He gets to set up a network disaster recovery plan somewhere in downtown Philly on Saturday & Sunday, then get to the airport by 1 PM Monday so the cheap bastards can puddle-jump him all over the east coast and land him in Houston at almost 8 PM.  :angry:  He doesn't even get to go see the freaking Liberty Bell.  :P  

How's the weather, Faye?

58
Tropical Paradise of Hard Shelled Fruits / See ya!
« on: Sep 21, 2005, 09:50:44 AM »
- Parking my old car inside the loading dock of my cousin's club downtown & praying it doesn't flood; storing clothes; food, etc, there as it's essentially a 2-story warehouse

 - Renting a car; loading all the critters inside the Jeep & rental car & heading Friday AM for the luxurious Motel 6 in Temple, TX until Sunday.

 - Putting everything at least 3 feet off the ground inside the house, putting the burglar bars back on the windows, cutting our old fence panels to cover the windows, taping the glass and tacking contractor's plastic over from the inside and caulking at the bottom of the doors before we leave.  We had very minimal flooding during Allison, so here's hoping.

Not that caulk will do much good if the roof is taken off.  Glad I didn't finish tiling the kitchen counter.   :lol:  

59
Tropical Paradise of Hard Shelled Fruits / And another birthday!
« on: Aug 10, 2005, 08:13:00 AM »
Brian Drummond is 36 today!   :happybirthday:  

60
Tropical Paradise of Hard Shelled Fruits / Damn, talk about spoilers!
« on: Aug 09, 2005, 08:10:23 AM »
Readers get to vote on which cover design they want.  Look at the left-hand one.  :lol:

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