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Messages - The D

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61
On the 24th of February, 1815, the look-out at Notre-Dame de la Garde signalled the three-master, the Pharaon from Smyrna, Trieste, and Naples.

A friend noted that this is how the Count of Monte Cristo began, and thus the novel started 200 years ago. Made me decide to pick it up again in the near future.

Forever Odd by Dean Koontz. I still don't like this main character and I don't know why I am reading the 2nd book other then I was hard up for a book.

What is it you don't like about the main character? What did you think of the first book and its tragic ending?


Odd Hours, 4th book
Apparently Dean Koontz is the Microsoft of novels: every other book he writes kinda sucks, like every other OS M$ comes out with is balls. Be warned Rama, the second novel wasn't that great to me and you'll probably dislike it some too.

One of the biggest issues I had with this, and I'm going to have to spoil this book, at first in general terms, and then explaining the motives of the main villain, but who cares.

*spoilers*
Okay, so the villains are terrorists who are trying to smuggle in nukes in a small fishing town on the California coast. Not islamists, but white terrorists. Okay, fair enough. But why? I would figure they are part of some Waco cult, or anti-government types like McVeigh. THAT would make sense.

But, as one of the idiot thugs the villain has working for him explains (and I just detest how generic/cartoonish some of these goons are depicted), the main baddie is a protestant priest who was in the middle east, trying to save Christians from murder and prosecution. And then he became disillusioned and gave up. Okay, but how the fuck does that equate to someone wanting to blow up major US cities because he was upset he couldn't save every Christian in the Mideast from being killed? How the hell does that save any of them?! "Well I can't save these Egyptian Coptics, let's blow up an America city and kill more Christians."
*end of spoilers*

Which brings me to the crux of why I didn't like this book... the ending was too rushed and forced, without explaining a lot. What did Odd hear in the sewer grate? Why did the coyotes attack him and who was controlling them? I have a feeling these issues will be explained in a later novel, but I'm not holding my breath.

 Speaking of the coyotes, I think Koontz has a hate-on for coyotes, because in at least three books he has packs of coyotes try to attack Odd, and the fact is, Coyotes do not travel in packs NOR do they attack humans.

Also, near the end of the book, Odd, despite being afraid of guns, ends up being a hell of a shot as he wastes people left and right despite them being better trained than him.

62
And don't bother arguing over it, because I'm right:
is self-centered in nature
Mmm. The delicious irony. Say that music is narcissistic, egotistical, and self-centered, and then say "I know I'm right" with such certainty. No one is always right, ever. Even if you say "I'm sure I'm right about this," always a possibility to be wrong. And probably a bad way to start an argument. "I'm going to state something. But since I'm 100% sure I'm right, don't bother arguing over it." I don't think that's how debates work.

think of all the songs extolling drunkeness, getting high, screwing around, violence, and the feelings of the same. That's just because most music is self-centered in nature, and it just happens to find audiences who feel the same way as and identify with the artist. I'm not condemning anyone for it, but it is a fact. Isn't that why we listen to it? It's life. Otherwise, who'd care?
That makes it much harder, after that statement, to say that I do agree with you, at least on this. Doesn't make me or you right, or wrong, just that I agree with you and think we are right. Music "in general" nowadays and even to some extent in the past is narcissistic and hedonistic. Rap music with bling, women treated like objects, expensive cars, guns. Pop music with skimpy outfits and simple themes. Sex sells, yes, but it does get annoying.

I certainly wouldn't say a lot of classic rock is self-centered though. And it still doesn't explain why he said pop music was "facist".

63
Guardians of the Galaxy - Saw it back in the summer. Saw part of it again a month ago. Not the best Marvel movie but still one of the better ones and certainly one of the best movies this year.

X-men - Days of Future Past.
Not sure why people say this is the best X-men ever... I still like First Class better. Wasn't a horrible movie. Was pretty enjoyable. But I can't figure out Magneto's obsession with moving large American landmarks for no major reason (Golden Gate bridge in Xmen 3, the stadium in this movie). Was that really necessary?

Also, another thing that bugged me in this movie was the technology that popped up. This movie's set in the 70s. And yet we have Cerebro with EYE SCANNING technology, Dinklage with a holographic screen, ROBOTS that can scan people's DNA.... da fuck? Dinklage's mutant DNA scanner shouldn't even existed in the early 70s. The Sentinels, while I'm glad they finally showed up, looked too futuristic for early 70s technology.


Transformers Bore... i mean 4.
Because seriously, I was falling asleep halfway through this crapfest. I actually refused to see this in theaters and was glad when friends said they hated it "I told you! I told you not to waste your damn money!" I ended up renting it on a free Redbox rental so none of my money goes to Bay-child.

So, let me see, what to hate about this movie.
This movie suffers from way too many Bayisms. What's a Bayism? Something that's in EVERY FUCKING Bay (and every Transformers) movie because that manchild thinks it's good cinema. For instance:
- Racism. There's a fucking Samurai robot. Really? And the black chick at the beginning. Add to that:
- Jokes about old people. There's a scene with the main characters running through a Hong Kong building, robots are battling outside, and they get blocked by a bunch of old grandmas walking slow and oblivious to their surroundings. Oh hur hur, that's real funny Bay. Remember when I called him a manchild?
- Annoying fucking main characters. Seriously, why is it in every Bay movie there's this annoying main character who talks ALL THE TIME, stutters, never shuts his fucking mouth, and is usually a coward? Comic relief? Really? A prime example of that is the conspiracy nut in the first three movies. There were two in this movie, Yeager's assistant (who thankfully dies early in the movie), and the CEO of the robot company. Especially the CEO of the robot company... why is there always a character like this in a Bay movie? No one fucking acts like this in real life!
- Product placement. ALL THE FUCKING PRODUCT PLACEMENT. God damn the product placement.
- Robots that talk during battle. I don't know why Bay does this but about the only time the Transformers actually talk is during battle, and it's so muffled you're not even sure the other characters caught it, let alone you. It's like Optimus and Bumblebee is having this intricate conversation while dodging missiles and shooting back.
- GM product placement. Bumblebee was awesome as the old black Camaro, and then halfway through they were like "LOL BRAND NEW GM CAMARO BUY THIS SHIT WHEN YOU LEAVE THE THEATER" and then Bay gets his god damn chell from GM.
- Jailbait in whore clothes! This times 1000. Yeager's daughter is this the whole damn movie. Bay loves to trot around underage ass in the most skimpy whore clothing you could ever fucking imagine. That's probably why he stuck that "Romeo & Juliet" law shit in there, to justify his ephebophilia.

Also, Yeager's overprotective dad bit just got old real fast, and the Dinobots were tacked on at the end for no reason. Blah.

There were some good things about the movie. Shia wasn't in it, so that was a plus. Neither was Megan Fox. Also, despite Walberg's character being kinda annoying with the whole Dad bit, he was world's better of a main character than Shia ever was. Also, Kelsey Grammer's character was somewhat interesting as a CIA director willing to violate people's freedoms (and murder, apparently) just to keep America safe. Although the fact he was actually doing it for money kinda killed that. Also, NO JIGGLE CAM THIS TIME!
Also, there were many Cameos of Detroit areas in the movie. The first battle with Optimus and Lockdown (the bounty hunter) is filmed at the old Packard plant, and the battle in China is filmed in downtown Detroit (the elevated train is the Detroit People Mover). Also, I have to admit I'm a bit curious about the "Creators" that Lockdown alludes to several times.

In the end the movie wasn't quite as crappy as 2, and was probably somewhat less good than 4.

Hell just ignore my ranting and watch these:
(So bad they needed two Sins videos)

64
Captain America 2
I rather enjoyed this a lot.
Really, it should have been called "Black Widow kicks everyone's ass" because I swear I enjoyed the times where she was being badass more than the whole rest of the movie.

Hunger games
Not QUITE as enjoyable as I've heard people say it was. However, when that thing happened to the little black girl (I will not spoil it) I had major feels. So, a decent movie.

Shawshank Redemption
Why the hell did this not win an oscar for best picture?
This will probably be the best movie I have seen all year. If you have not seen this movie, see it.
What a wonderful ending, too. It was enjoyable watching all the dicks in the movie get what was coming to them.

New Spiderman 2
I was dragged to this by mommy dearest because I think she has a crush on Andrew Garfield.... she's becoming quite the creepy cougar.

First off. I like Garfield as Spiderman. I hate Garfield as Peter Parker.

Second, all the comparisons of this movie with Spiderman 3 I think are a bit off. 3 suffered from too many villains. This, not as much. The main villain in this movie is Electro and he appears for most of the movie. The Green Goblin doesn't show up until the end after Electro is defeated, and really, they would have been better off having him appear in the next movie rather than this one. Rhino only appears at the very end of the movie in a 2 minute clip. I also did not like what happens to Gwen. Really.  :nono:
Decent. About the same as the first one. Not as good as the first Trilogy. Better than Spiderman 3 at least.

Blue is the Warmest Color
Everything I've heard about this movie is that it's like a porno with a plot. I figured those comments were from a bunch of virgin neckbeards who have never seen a scene with two women making out before, so I went into the movie not expecting too much.
- Okay, girl masturbating with clothes on... nothing I haven't seen in an R-rated movie before...
- Guy fucking girl... standard R-rated fare, although I see a penis so I guess that makes it X-rated in the states... but standard fare in France.
- ...10 MINUTES OF LESBIAN FUCKING HOLY FUCKING SHIT.....
I actually researched it and watched it to figure out how they faked the lesbo orgy... in most of it the camera angles are such so you can't tell if there's actual genital contact... I also read that they wore "prosthetic labia"... yep.
The sex scenes are only about 10% of the entire film and while it was kinda hot, I've seen better in real pr0n. The rest of the movie was a standard drama about a lesbian couple, somewhat interesting.



I have heard good reviews of Guardians so perhaps I will see this soon.

65
I watched half the series, got kinda bored. 1 hour is too long to hold my attention for a lot of things.

I kinda liked it though.

Then again, it took watching two seasons of Star Trek TNG for me to really care for it.

That's because the first two season suck balls. They're only good for camp or a drinking game. It only got real when the Borg attacked.

66
Pop music is generally crap, whatever it's about.

If you're talking about anything past the 90s, and maybe even including some of the 80s and 70s, I'd tend to agree. And by pop you mean mainstream electronic-based music, not rock or metal.
Fascist, on the other hand, seems extreme. But considering that the main character in the book both calls music after Elvis "unconsciously fascist" and says that hippies were at the core cult-like and murderous, I feel like the author, being an older man and a catholic to boot, has that typical attitude that hippie music and anything that spawned from it is evil (you wouldn't believe how many times I've heard conservative Christians call any music past the 50s satanic). I certainly wouldn't call hippie-spawned music "fascist", either, as it seemed to be more anti-authority and "fuck da man" in any case.

Also, I forgot whether Fili and Kili actually died in the book and I'm sad to hear that they did... I loved their characters.


Odd Thomas, an odd review

I reread Odd Thomas by Dean Koontz... having read it about 6-7 years ago. It's about a guy in his early 20s named Odd Thomas who sees ghosts and evil shadows and tries to use them to solve crime. It's more supernatural thriller/action though, not detective/mystery, although there's detective-ish themes to it. In this story, Odd sees some evil spirits tailing an odd-looking man and has to prevent him and his buddies from committing mass murder.

The reason I liked it the first time was simple. The main characters were all colorful, three dimensional, and interesting, and the book, despite being dark and scary, had a great wit and humor to it. Full of off kilter humor and jokes and puns, it's not hard to laugh a little in the book. I found this the same the second time around... I enjoyed all the crazy characters and laughed many times.

Admittedly it has a dark side too, and a scary side. Although I knew what was going to happen I still found it creepy at times.

There's also a very tragic ending to it, where someone close to Odd dies violently. I liked this because it showed that the main characters were not immune or protected by plot armor, and could die. However, it was kinda sad, and it did feel like Koontz was giving readers the middle finger (especially considering there's now 7 books and graphic novels).

I'll go into more depth about the main character after I review the second book.

67
Gravity was the last movie I saw.

I liked it, but I swear to god as a space nut I nitpicked the hell out of the movie.

For instance, when Sandra Bullock takes off her spacesuit she's wearing tight biker shorts and a tanktop. Which, as far as I can tell, is not standard NASA equipment, and I figured the only reason she was wearing all of that was so they could show off her ass and boobs, and I was fairly disappointed. Astronauts wear a special cooling suit UNDER the outer space suit. But that's not sexy.

Also, some bit of spoilers after this.

- When Bullock started spinning out of control her spacesuit should have stabilized her, they all have built in stabilization/propulsion systems. She could have also used it to reach the shuttle again.

- When she reached the shuttle, even having only 5% oxygen left she didn't bother looking for oxygen in the dead space shuttle. Uh, wat?
- Getting to the ISS would require more than just pointing your spacesuit at the station and hitting your thrusters.
- George Clooney's death was pointless. The cables that snared Bullock's leg should have stopped BOTH their movements, he wouldn't have continued "pulling her". Basic space physics WAT?
- Where did Bollocks get her training, anyway? This girl acts like she didn't get a lick of training at NASA before going up.
- You deal with fires on space stations by sealing the area where the fire is and venting it to space, you moron!
- Chinese space station? The chinese have a space station?
- Once again, aiming the soyuz capsule at the chinese space station and hitting thrusters is not how you steer in space. If you're off by even a little you could shoot past the space station by several miles and be screwed.
- Once again, leaping out of a moving capsule and launching oneself at a space station requires more than just counting down from three. I'm shocked she even made it, technically odds were a million to one that she timed it wrong and completely missed the station and burned up in the atmosphere.

Did anyone in Hollywood understand basic physics or are they stupid?

68
EWWWWWWW.  *confirms it on Wikipedia*  EWWWWWW.  I actually have nothing against the guy but nooooooo.  Christ, pick voices instead of from the celebrity black book for once.  I swear, they do this shit and only one or two actors deliver while the rest phone that shit in.

Disney does that shit because they know NO ONE will see the movie in theaters unless they throw huge names in the credits.
"This is a movie about Japanese WW2 history and culture that no one gives a fuck about in America BUT IT HAS GORDON-LEVITT WATCH THIS SHIT".


I started watching an anime I saw a little bit of years ago called Gah Rei Zero. The first two episodes show people fighting evil spirits with awesome guns and martial arts, then this girl with a katana who used to be on their side starts butchering them left and right with heads and arms going everywhere, so I figured it would be an Elfen-Lied/Gantz/Higurashi type anime. Then the sword girl meets another girl with a sword, her former bff, and they have to fight each other.

The rest of the anime shows how the two girls meet and how their friendship develops, and the action gets pushed to the side as it becomes more of a teenage girl drama fest. I'm hoping the action ramps up at the end, and I'm a bit glad it's only 12 episodes.

What really bugs me is the main female character (not the one who was doing all the slaughtering in the beginning) is a total pussy. She's one of those main female anime characters who cries a lot, who is too timid and nice and shy, and gets scared easily when the heat is on. During one scene where they're ambushed by an army of zombies in a subway tunnel, she refuses to fight them because they were once human. Another time one of her former teachers dies and then is resurrected by a headcrab and she refuses to fight her former teacher, and then gets all traumatized when she has to kill the zombie.

Seriously? Stop being such a crybaby and man the fuck up. You're fighting monsters and zombies, this isn't the place to cry in the middle of the battlefield. Grow a god damn pair.

69
I read the Adventure of the Speckled Band, one of the most famous of Sherlock Holmes' short stories. Halfway through, when they were investigating the room where the murder occurred, I immediately knew HOW the crime had been committed and how the story would end, as if I had read it before. I don't ever remember reading the story before, but I must have, if I knew so easily how it would end. It does make me wonder if the other Sherlock stories I have read, where I deduced the culprit before his reveal, was because I had read those before as well even though I don't remember reading them. For instance, events in The Adventure of the Red-Headed League seemed a bit familiar, even though I hadn't read it before.


Right now I'm in the middle of re-reading Odd Thomas by Dean Koontz because I plan to read the entire series. I last read it 6 years ago and loved the charm and wit and humor of it. But this time around, I came to lines in the book like these:

"By the time [Elvis] died, most pop songs had become, usually without the conscious intention of those who wrote and sang them, anthems endorsing the values of fascism, which remains the case to this day.”
Wat? Pop music is fascist? DA FUCK?

"Charles Manson, the vicious manipulator whose fantasies of revolution and race war had exposed a cancer at the core of the flower powet generation and had led to the demise of the age of aquarius."

“Considering that the modern and contemporary literature taught in most universities is largely bleak, cynical, morbid, pessimistic, misanthropic dogmatism, often written by suicidal types who sooner or later kill themselves with alcohol or drugs, or shotguns, Professor Takuda was a remarkably cheerful man.”

"As a working environment, the rest of academia is a sewer of irrationality, hate mongering, envy, and self-interest. "


Okay, so Dean Koontz hates hippies, pop music, and higher education. Got it. I wonder if this has anything to do with him being a hardcore Catholic. Probably.
The quote about Pop music being fascist is what really got my attention, though.

70
Tropical Paradise of Hard Shelled Fruits / Re: XXII Olympics
« on: Mar 03, 2014, 08:06:45 PM »
Putin: "Now that Russia Olympics over, I can let loose. Begin invasion of Terrorist Ukrainian State with our Glorious Russian People's Army."

So totally called it.

I'm sick of waiting for Arrow, SHIELD, and Archer to resume.
Archer I can agree with, I haven't seen Shield, but Arrow?
For some reason, maybe it's from all the ads I saw of it and having seen only one episode, but the main character on this show seemed to bug me a bit. Seemed too much of a cocky, preppy frat boy attitude from what I picked up. Mind you, I had only seen ads and one episode, though. And maybe part of it is I missed the awesome blonde goatee the comic Green Arrow sports. However, the action on that one episode I saw did seem pretty good.

71
Dear god, has it really been 10 years? Have we done anything with our lives since then?



*checks*

Nope, guess not.

72
Tropical Paradise of Hard Shelled Fruits / Re: XXII Olympics
« on: Feb 24, 2014, 07:46:51 PM »
Also, I'm glad I won't have to sit through all those shitty commercials anymore.

All those damn commercials for NBC comedies which will probably suck.

And that commercial for McDonalds that showed people biting into chicken nuggets awkwardly and in slow mo as if to symbolize that people would bite their nuggets like medal winners bite their medals.

There were probably more but I'm trying to forget.

73
Tropical Paradise of Hard Shelled Fruits / Re: XXII Olympics
« on: Feb 24, 2014, 07:44:44 PM »
Putin: "Now that Russia Olympics over, I can let loose. Begin invasion of Terrorist Ukrainian State with our Glorious Russian People's Army."

I noticed that during figure skating free dance they had this former male figure skater who was so flamboyant he practically shits rainbows.

And speaking of skating, the morning show I listen to has been poking fun at Gracie Gold. Apparently she sounds completely like a valley girl when she speaks.

And while watching the last Slalom course I noticed half the skiiers fell down or crashed halfway through the course, and they still let people medal in it, even though the course itself was apparently flawed and fucked to all hell. Glorious Russian engineering, I'm sure. The course was probably too warm... Sochi averages 40-50 degree weather apparently. Should have held the Olympics in Michigan, we've been in the 20s most of the season.
http://sports.yahoo.com/news/ted-ligety-criticizes-olympic-slalom-course-setup-after-failed-run-erases-medal-opportunity-194411450.html
http://www.nydailynews.com/sports/olympics/austria-matt-survives-blooper-reel-slalom-win-gold-article-1.1698459


Now that the Olympics are over it's time to turn our attention to other things... like the upcoming Paralympics... that will not be broadcast on any station whatsoever.

74
Tropical Paradise of Hard Shelled Fruits / Re: XXII Olympics
« on: Feb 18, 2014, 08:43:39 PM »
Well I'm an idiot. I forget I like to reference this video during the olympics.


Oh and the Jamaican bobsled team.  Comes in last and still the most loved bobsled team in the world.  Not even being sarcastic.  I love them, too.

:nurinono:

I kept thinking they should have had the bobsled team launching in slow mo, with dramatic shots, with chariots of fire theme playing in the background. And then they crash in the first turn.

Even better would be if they actually won gold against all odds. I bet Costas' head would explode on live TV if that would happen, and it would be worth it. I may root for the US most of the time, but during bobsled my cheers go for the Jamaicans, mon!


I watched the pairs figure skating last night. Get this, half the US skating team, including Meryl and Charlie, are from the Detroit suburbs. And the Canadian team that got silver not only had the same coach as Meryl&Charlie, but they trained at the same ice rink in the Detroit suburb of Canton, which is about 20 minutes from where I live.

Also, I think Meryl Davis is mostly sexy, but there's just something about the face that's completely off. I don't know if it's the huge Jewish-looking nose, or the narrow eyes, or the huge mouth... meh. That's what paper bags are for.  ;D

75
I've started reading some of the short stories of Sherlock Holmes by Sir Doyle. Every time, I attempt to figure out whodunit, or at least WHY they're doing it, before the story reveals it, much in the same way I did successfully for "Sign of Four". I'm 4 for 5, with the only exception the Irene Adler story which isn't really a mystery, more of an adventure, so there's little to deduce there.


I just finished the audiobook of Lolita read by Jeremy Irons. And it was one hell of a book.

First off Jeremy Irons, while at times can be monotonous, does such a great infliction of a snooty British man.

Second off, I fully expected and worried about the novel being explicit, but thankfully any sex is alluded to in passing, or not even mentioned (but implied).

The book is written from the point of the pedophile Humbert Humbert (a pseudonym) writing to a jury to explain WHY he committed the crimes he did (rape, pedophilia, and murder). Humbert shows texbook predatory and grooming behavior, like hanging out on park benches and being touchy feeley towards girls. The entire book is written using lots of big words and tons of wordplay and allegory. In it, Humbert tries to victim blame. For instance, claiming that his interest in children is because he was unable to have sex with a girl he loved when he was a teen. Saying that "nymphets", the girls he's attracted to, are demons in disguise and blaming them for being attracted to them. Putting the blame of his acts with Lolita on her, saying "But she sexually experimented with a boy at camp so I wasn't her first" and "She came onto me and initiated sex the first time". He almost redeems himself at times where he admits that he destroyed her life, and sometimes seems remorse. But being the novel is from his point of view it's hard to determine if he's sincere or just fucking with you.

In the end I found it to be an enjoyable book. Sure you want to kick the crap out of Humbert for being such a dick, but thankfully there's no depictions of sex that would make the book unreadable, and Humbert's wordplay and snooty, sarcastic descriptions of post-war 1950s America are funny and brilliant.

76
I wouldn't ever do something like NaNoWriMo. I don't want to force it and try to make it happen in a month. Even when I was several hours a night it took more more then a month to finish a novel. Plus I'm kinda scatter brained at writing. Working on kids book at the moment, but like a month ago it was a screenplay.

Thread necro (still on the first page, though)

But I wonder if you'll actually publish any of this.

77
Tropical Paradise of Hard Shelled Fruits / Re: XXII Olympics
« on: Feb 12, 2014, 08:03:53 PM »
3. I almost want some terroristy thing to happen and that makes me feel guilty as fuck.  What the fuck, me?  What the fuckity fuck?

I just noticed this. I fully expected there to be some kind of boom at the opening ceremonies and almost wanted to tune in to see if it happened live until I remembered that the broadcast was delayed and if something happened they wouldn't show it. Too bad, I'd love to see chunks of Putin get blown all over the athletes.

I caught the opening ceremonies, ironically, right as the US team was starting to walk into the stadium. When the Ukraine team came on Putin looked shifty eyed but still had that tight-lipped poker face look he has ALL THE TIME. Also, ceremonies kinda sucked. Nice job glossing over the Stalin regime, guys.

78
Tropical Paradise of Hard Shelled Fruits / Re: XXII Olympics
« on: Feb 12, 2014, 07:51:36 PM »
I found out the Leopard mascot is actually supposed to be a snow leopard, which it doesn't look like in the stamp above. Snow leopards are in a tiny part of mountains in south Siberia.
Still think the mascot needed to be bears with fezzes on unicycles.


This thread needs more Yakov Smirnoff jokes.



And, again, fuck NBC.  Their coverage is getting shittier and shittier with every Olympics. 
But of course. There seems to be more interviews and boring shit during the evening coverage. I had to sit there and watch that one black guy who's taking over for Costas actually DANCING for a few minutes with two American competitors. Really?

During the midday, though, they sometimes show entire events. I turned on the tv and ended up watching the entirety of men's Biathalon, which is basically cross-country skiing with guns. Only reason I watched was because I cross-country ski, and there were guns. Sadly, they didn't use the guns (.22 rifles) on each other, but on targets. They'd ski this large loop with the shooting range on the end of the loop with the bleachers, and they'd have 5 bullets to hit 5 targets and if they missed they did a penalty loop on a small loop behind the range. The announcers tried to make it way more exciting than it was by flipping their shit if anyone missed a shot. "OH MY GOD HE MISSED NOW HE'LL MOVE FROM 15TH TO 20TH PLACE!!!"

Bob Costas got pink eye and couldn't host today.
This may seem horrible but....
 :poo: :stickdance: :guitar: :bernie: :nuriyes: :pimp: :raiseroof: :headbang: :bat: <-- when in the hell did we get this smiley?

I hate Costas. He's been doing so many olympics I've gotten painfully sick of seeing him. But he seems to have a monopoly on the games like NBC has a monopoly broadcasting them for the next 200 years. Yay monopolies.


I don't see how people can watch this shit.
This coming from someone who lives in a state that gets very little, if any snow (ignoring this current winter).


I actually find the Winter Olympics more enjoyable than the summer because there's more sports I actually give a crap about. Skiing (except ski jump) because I actually ski (and own skis), Freestyle skiing and snowboarding because those awesome tricks they do, Figure skating because some of the older women in that have some nice legs, and Bobsledding (and to a lesser extent luge and skeleton) because sliding down a track at 90mph looks like fun shit.

As for the ones I don't like: Ice Hockey... bleh. Curling.... drunken Canadians throwing rocks. Short track and speed skating... the sport of sniffing ass.

79
Is it sad I knew who this thread was about before I even opened it?

Like a whitehouse petition where we try to get Obamer to do it?
EXECUTIVE ORDER BABY!

I don't give a shit about Bieb or any of his ilk. Unless he hits me with a Ferrari while toking. He'd better make sure I die: my car is sacrosanct, and I value it more than all but about a half-dozen people who ever lived.

Of course, if he did you could sue him for enough to get 10 of those cars. And customize them however you want?

80
Tropical Paradise of Hard Shelled Fruits / Re: XXII Olympics
« on: Feb 07, 2014, 03:24:15 PM »
Those mascots are stupid. And freakish.

The white hare I can get, and... I guess that's a polar bear... yea, those live in Northern Russia. But a leopard? Those don't even exist in Russia!


The mascots should have been grizzly bears. On unicycles. with little hats.

81
Tropical Paradise of Hard Shelled Fruits / Re: XXII Olympics
« on: Feb 07, 2014, 03:19:12 PM »
From what I hear, the Olympics are going to be a blast.






 :ph34r:

82
Since I spend way too much time alone and in a vehicle while at work, I wondered why I didn't listen to audio books while I did my job?


The first book I wanted to get was Lolita. This copy is read by none other than Jeremy Irons, the same actor who played Scar in the Lion King. Which means every time Humbert the Pedo goes to have sex with the 13-year-old Delores he starts singing "Be Prepared".


But the CD book was checked out so I checked out "The Sign of Four" which is the second Sherlock Holmes book and the first where it establishes his cocaine habit as well as his boxing past.
This book was actually better than A Study in Scarlet as it didn't devote half the book into the background of the bad guy. And it had some very creepy moments. Even so, I found the back story of the main villain too long. And unlike the first book, where I actually sympathized and agreed with the murderer (the people he killed were complete assholes), in this case the bad guy kept trying to act like he was completely innocent even though he had murdered a stranger for a large amount of money in the past.

Also, I predicted the ending halfway through the book, which was pretty impressive.

83
This is Spinal Tap.
Can you believe I actually thought Spinal Tap was a real band ages ago? You can? Nevermind then.

If I were to give this a score out of 10 stars... I'd have to give it an 11.



Seriously, though, I'd probably give it a 6 out of 10.
It had its funny moments, but it wasn't like it was a side-splitting laugh-a-thon from beginning to end. Maybe people's tastes in humor have changed or maybe that's just the way 80s comedy films were. In any case it was an okay movie.


Thor: The Dark World

This one wasn't too bad but I'm debating whether or not it's better than the first. In terms of scope, definitely. And Hemidall is still badass.
First off, the dark elves and their leader. While looking rather... creepy with the white marble masks on, they just didn't feel that threatening. It was obvious the majority of the dark elves were defeated/killed by Odin's dad, so why exactly is this tiny little band of elves a threat? And they're able to break through Asguard's defenses? Really?
The main villain was too generic and one dimensional. So he's from the realm before the big bang and he wants to destroy the universe so existence will go back to darkness before the big bang..... and? AND? Who gives a shit? Really. Yea, the villains in this movie seemed to be there JUST so Thor would have something to pound with his "hammer". Badass looking but boring.

As for the nine realms thing and the convergence thing, that was pretty dull as well. You're lead on to think it's this awesome event, when all that happens is 9 tiny little portals appear in the sky over London. Really? REALLY? Some stupid fucking portals? I mean, I fully expected you to be able to see the shadows of 9 planets floating over the Earth or something. Not some stupid fucking portals. Bleh. And don't give me this "budget" thing, it's Marvel, they don't HAVE a budget. They could have easily made 9 CG planets.

I was also quite confused at why the old scientist guy had become so nutty. Yea, I get that he had the tessaract and loki in his brain in the Avengers, but having him run around naked? Bleh. At least it added comic relief.

And then Loki. Easily the best acting job in the entire movie. He is a fun character to watch. Loved the Captain America nod. When something bad happens to him later in the movie, I was like "Well maybe now the fangirls will shut the fuck up.... oh, nevermind." I have to admit that I saw Loki's scheme a mile away... no, not the bit where he chops the hand off, but the one way after that. I knew who Odin was at the end before it was revealed. But, again, the fangirls kinda ruin Loki for me.

The ending was a bit anti-climatic, but that I already ranted about in the convergence rant above.

That being said it was a fun movie that was at least as good as the first. Go ahead and see it in theaters, just don't bother with 3D, I heard the 3D in this one sucks.

84
So, Repeat was a clone of Pete?
Is this a story about the dangers of cloning technology. Was Pete trying to destroy the evidence?


There rama, you have a story.

85
Maybe she should've put on her Black Swan get-up and done a little dance.

Done a little dance means stripping it all and going lesbian with Mila Kunis, right? And with Mila being the dom/man, right?

86
"All right team, which way is the enemy's gate?"
"THE ENEMY'S GATE IS DOWN!!!!"

Yea, the enemy's gate is down and Ender's Game is a bit down, as in a bit of a downer. I liked it, but I didn't love it, as it felt like it was missing things. Like an actor that can emote better.

First off, I'd have to say I'm impressed on how close it stuck to the novel as much as it did. I was expecting them to go more off on a limb. Yea, there were changes, like the Bugger's first attack being on Earth, which was probably to add to the tension, or the fact that the Command school was on a Bugger planet (yea, I know they're called Formics but the book used the slang Bugger most of the time and I'm used to it).

My biggest issue was length, not that it was too long, but too short at less than 2 hours not counting credits and stuff. This movie needed to be at least 2.5 hours. And this is because of all the things they had to cut from the book.
I understand that the movie had to be cut down as not to bore your typical stupid audience member, and had to be dumbed down for them as well. The studios are making the movie for everyone, not for the hardcore fan.
However, the movie felt rushed, like too much was packed in. Ender was just 10 minutes on the station and he was already in Salamander Army, and then 10 minutes later he was in Dragon Army, with no time for character development. One of the things that made the book was the Battle Room and all the battles that Ender participated in. This is where Ender's genius really shined through. The teachers would throw all sorts of obstacles at Ender in the Battles to make him lose and he would outsmart them every time. But in the movie there's only two Battle scenes, one with Salamander and one with Dragon. There's no chance to see Ender really using his genius. They really needed to add another half hour of battle room scenes at least.

The other problem had to do with the choice to put the command school in another planetary system rather than the asteroid belt like it was in the book. The Ender Game universe is hard-scifi, and the ships don't travel faster than light. So it takes years, centuries to travel from system to system. In the movie you see a shot of Graft's office and it says the fleet would arrive at the Bugger's homeworld in 30 days. And yet, when Ender goes to command school he travels to a different system. That system would have to be at least 4-5 light years away, if not MORE, which means it would take Ender's ship at least that many years to get there. So, am I to assume that the ships at the Formic planet just sat there for 5+ years to wait for Ender to get to the command center? Or did a Hollywood movie yet again ignore relativistic travel?

Final score 7/10, and only because I'm being generous as it was a decently entertaining movie and they followed the book okay, if not perfectly.

87
Heroes of Cosplay.

I'm a casual cosplayer and even among people I know that are "professional", IE they spend a whole lot more time to make their costumes perfect, and we all agree, this show kinda sucks.

Here's the biggest beefs with it:

1) It feels like any other reality show. Especially those bits where they go from footage of what's going on to a personal interview of one of the cast members, sitting in front of a generic curtain, explaining how he felt at that moment or rationalizing his douchebag behavior. I do realize that it wouldn't BE a reality show without those clips, and that's pretty much the backbone of reality crap tv, but I'd love to see a reality show done without them, just to see if it can be done (probably not). In any case they piss me off for some reason, because they do it in this show as well.

2) It feels like one giant competition, like it's the Bachelor or something. At times it almost seems like the different cosplayers are all but at each other's throats, or trying to backstab each other. "That stupid bitch shouldn't win the contest because she didn't make her costume, her boyfriend did. I should win the contest because I worked the hardest! Fuck everyone else."
When can reality tv NOT be a competition on who can be the biggest prick?

3) The cosplayers seem to be more along the lines of Hollywood costume designers. They all take their craft way too seriously. They put an excessive amount of detail into their suits, and get way offended if they don't win a contest. They act like cosplaying is either A) a competition where winning is the only reason to do it, and/or B) they want to cosplay as a LIVING, not just for fun. So they just take that shit way too seriously.
I'm sure there are cosplayers out there that do take cosplay as serious as these people do, where it's about winning and bragging rights, but most cosplayers are in it because it's fun, and are not competitive about it. In fact, most cosplayers will compliment other costumes and even help people with their cosplays as well.

4) There's like 6 female cosplayers and one male cosplayer in this show. While there is more female cosplayers in the world than men, it's only a slightly higher majority of women vs men. Come on, let's get some more males in this show, dammit. But, oh wait, hollywood audiences don't want to see cocks, they want to see BOOBS. I'm sorry, continue your sexual exploitation of the female cosplayers on this show.

5) On the one episode I watched, they were at a comic con, and they were all trying to win the cosplay contest. Which had 1 award and three places. Um, I don't know about that con, but most cons I go to have multiple cosplay awards, not just one. Way to play up the drama and misrepresent the facts, SciFi.


And I think that's about it. It is somewhat entertaining to watch, just to see the awesome costumes they think up, and how they construct them. However, it's still way too Reality Show-ish, so realize that the producers are creating tension where there usually is none, and this is not even remotely a fully accurate representation of Cosplay. Most of us do it for fun and why not, not because some producer is paying us to be on TV and act stupid.

88
Pacific Rim
Will probably talk more about it in the other thread.

89
The complete Sherlock Holmes, book 1.
The first 5 novels and collections.

Finished the first one, A Study in Scarlet. It's about how Watson (the books are all written from Watson's point of view) first shares a room with Holmes and discovers his love of detective work, and then Holmes does his first major case.

The novel was good at first but the entire second half was a backstory for the murders and murderer, and just dragged on forever. It was set in Utah with the Mormons settling Salt Lake City and mormons being mormons. And Brigham Young. Some guy falls in love with a girl, but the girl is forced into a polygamous marriage by one of the elder families. Guy goes on campaign of revenge. They could have told this entire story in one chapter but I think Doyle was paid by the word... or maybe the letter. I also think Doyle had a hate-on for mormons.

Hopefully the second novel isn't as tedious. I know most of the stories he wrote were short stories, easier to digest.

90
Hmm, I forgot if I mentioned The Raid - Redemption.
The title of this movie makes me think it's a sequel of some sorts although I think it's the only movie. It just annoys me when people throw on a subtitle. Then I think there was a movie before it.

In any case, The Raid is I think from Singapore. It's a pure action movie about a SWAT team ascending a building in a slum to capture a slum lord. I figured it would be a mindless action film but was surprised to find some actual plot and story in the movie as well as a few twists and revelations. My biggest beef was that there was a bit of a lull in the action in the middle. The first part of the movie was nothing but gun battles, the second half was nothing but martial arts. There was also some pretty good knife fights thrown in. Also, not expected in a foreign film, but a Wilhelm scream was in this one.

Pretty much a badass action movie, and worth watching.

There's a sequel in the works... and an American remake? I'm not exactly sure why it needs to be remade.

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